Chapter Twenty-Five

The first time Austin woke up, he couldn't open his eyes. He felt a veil lift from his consciousness, heard voices in the distant, but could feel nothing around him. Was he laying down? Was he dead?

"…a few more days…"

He did not recognize the voice at first. But he clung to the melodic sound. Even as someone else responded, their words blurring into nothing, he waited to hear that voice again.

"I'm just happy that he's…"

That he's what? Were they talking about him? Austin tried prying his eyes open but it only wore him down. The veil began to fall once more and the voice faded into nothing.

***

When he woke again, he could open his eyes this time. He didn't know where he was. He stared up at an ornate ceiling with white, intricate moulding and thought that this certainly was not his townhouse.

No one was speaking this time. Instead, he heard the soft hum of rain outdoors, casting the room in a soft shadow. With what little strength he had, he looked around, trying to get an understanding of his surroundings.

And then his eyes fell on her. She was asleep, a book laid across her lap and her head tilted forward. She snored softly, hair covering most of her face.

Austin tried to move, to reach out to her. She sat next to him, so close yet still so far. He tried to speak, to wake her. But he found himself going under once more and his eyes closed to the sight of her sleeping soundly beside him.

** *

He thought that perhaps the next time would be the last time. Dipping in and out of consciousness was fast getting old. He heard voices that brought him from the brink of sleep many times but he was gone mere seconds after that he hardly considered those times, even though he remembered them. This time, however, Austin had enough strength to open his eyes again.

Lavender was the first thing he saw. She was not sitting next to him this time but standing by the window. It was raining again and she stared outside with a wistful expression on her face.

"It's been far too long," she said after a while.

Something moved in the left corner of the room. Austin recognized the person a beat after. It was Miss Alice.

"Keep your faith, Lav," she said softly, giving her friend a sad look. "I'm sure he will wake soon."

"But what if he doesn't, Alice?" Lavender asked. She wiped at her cheek. Austin realized that she was crying even though he could not see her tears. "What if I do not get the chance to tell him?"

Alice crossed over the room to her and enveloped Lavender in her arms. Lavender did not hesitate to bury her face into her friend's shoulders.

"You will," Alice assured her.

Austin sighed softly and prayed that either woman heard. His eyes drifted closed on their own accord a second after, so he didn't know if they did. He realized suddenly that the same fear consumed him.

What if he didn't get to tell her either?

***

He might have been under for far too long. That was his first thought when he opened his eyes again, hopefully for the last time. The first thing he noticed was that he had far more strength this time. The heavy weight of exhaustion did not hang heavily behind his eyelids this time. He blinked up at the ceiling and tried wriggling his finger. It worked.

The next thing he did was look around the room, only to see with a bit of disappointment that it was empty. He'd hoped to see Lavender sitting in the chair by his bed. Slowly, not wanting to push himself, Austin sat up.

Something tickled his neck. Austin reached up and realized that it was his hair. It had grown out quite a bit while he'd been sleeping. How long had that been? With one touch to his cheek, he realized that his beard was almost full grown as well. Had it been weeks since he'd last woken?

He didn't even want to entertain the thought. He recalled the look of despair on Lavender's face the last time he saw her and could only imagine the worry he had caused. All because of his stupid pride and his inability to handle his own emotions.

Slowly, Austin pushed the covers aside. He had no intention of sitting in bed and waiting for someone to see him awake. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and waited for the wave of dizziness. None came. He stood and waited again. Still nothing.

Only then did he realize that he was dressed in nothing but a white cotton shirt and a pair of breeches. He even felt clean. Clearly he had been taken care of while he'd been unconscious.

Austin slowly made his way to the door. With every step, he felt his strength returning and by the time he made it to the hallway, he was walking as if nothing had happened.

He didn't know where he was going. The surroundings were unfamiliar to him and there was no one in sight. He made random turns without giving it much thought, hoping it would take him to the staircase since he was clearly not on the first floor.

At last, he found it. Austin held on to the railing as he descended though he felt fine, not wanting to risk anything. He made it to the landing without encountering a soul but at this point, he knew where he was.

Latrice Manor's foyer.

Austin headed to where he knew the drawing room was. The place he remembered he'd last been, fighting unconsciousness until it came to claim him so quickly that he hadn't been given a chance to issue a warning. He remembered his eyes closing and a second before he slipped under, he heard a scream that he would never be able to forget .

He heard her voice before he entered. His entrance was quiet enough that the others in the room did not notice him. He saw Vincent first, then Miss Alice, then…

Lavender sat in the furthest corner of the room, her back to the door. She seemed to paying keen attention to her embroidery, her fingers moving so rapidly that it was a wonder she didn't hurt herself. She looked as beautiful as the last time he saw her, most of her hair draped over one shoulder and her bare feet tucked into the grooves of the armchair she was sitting in.

Miss Alice and Vincent had their heads bent together, facing Lavender, undoubtedly talking about her in hushed tones and worried expressions. They were so caught up in what they were saying that neither one of them noticed him standing there.

A few seconds went by as the uncomfortable silence in the room deepened. Austin felt a prickle of amusement as he cleared his throat.

All three heads turned to him. He heard Miss Alice gasp, saw Vincent come to a stand. But his attention remained on Lavender who dropped her embroidery, her jaw going slack at the sight of him.

"Austin?" she murmured, her voice so soft that he almost didn't hear her.

Austin drifted to the center of the room. He tugged on his shirt. "Please tell me that this is mine. Because if it isn't, I have a serious problem with—"

He didn't get to finish his words when Lavender launched herself at him. He'd watched her stand up, watched as she hurried over to him, but was wholly unprepared for her to jump into his arms considering the fact that he had just been bedridden for who knows how long.

He didn't care though. Her scent wrapped around him that he moved without thought as well, tightening his arms around her. He buried his face in her hair, quietly breathing her in, grounding himself in her presence. Austin forgot all about Vincent and Miss Alice, caring only about the small woman in his arms who clung to him as if she never wanted to let go.

"What are you doing out of bed, you madman?" Vincent asked, approaching them .

Only then did Lavender pull away. Austin did as well, albeit reluctantly. She put a foot of distance between them but she stared up at him as if she was looking at a ghost.

"I don't like staying in one place for too long," he explained. "I woke up and no one was there. I wanted to see who it was that nursed me back to health." He looked back at her, unable to stop himself from brushing her cheek with the back of his hand.

Tears were rapidly filling her eyes. "I can't believe that you…that you truly…" She bit her quivering lip as the tears spilled over.

In the corner of his eye, he saw Miss Alice take Vincent's arm. "Perhaps we should give them privacy," she whispered to him.

"You want me to leave her alone with him?" Vincent whispered back, sounding incredulous.

"Yes," Miss Alice said simply. And he supposed that was that. Vincent protested no longer and allowed her to lead him out of the room.

Once again he was alone with Lavender. Last time, he'd had so many things to say and could not find the strength to say them. Now none of those words came to his mind, even though he felt them deep within his heart.

"I'm so glad," she said at last, "that you are all right. I was afraid that…that you would never wake up."

"How long was I asleep for?"

"Two weeks."

She said it softly, those two words were all he needed to hear to know that she had been suffering this entire time.

"When you fell unconscious I thought that you might have—" She broke off, swallowing, clearly unable to say the words aloud. "But then the physician informed us that you had simply suffered from a concussion. He said that you would be in a deep sleep and that, if we were lucky, you would awake on your own. And if you weren't…"

"There's no need to think about that anymore." He couldn't hold back. He pulled her back into his arms and was relieved when she did not protest, slipping her arms around his waist. She laid her head against his chest and he wondered if she could hear the rapid pound of his heart.

"Thank you for waking up, Austin. I did not want to assume the worst but with every day that went by, I…"

"I understand. Thank you for nursing me back to health. You were the only reason I was able to." She looked up at him in confusion and he smiled a little. "You didn't know this but I did become conscious a few times. The first time I only heard your voice, the second time you were sleeping next to my bed, and the third time you were standing by the window with Miss Alice. There were others as well but they went by so quickly that I hardly remembered them."

"How hadn't I noticed?" she gasped.

"Let's just be happy that we're here now." He gently rested her head back against his chest. He could stay like this forever he knew.

"Austin." Lavender pulled away again. "I want to apologise. For Colin and all the problems he caused you. He told me what happened and had it not been for the way that he provoked you perhaps none of this would have happened."

Austin sighed. "I hate to come to the defence of that man but the fault does not rest solely with him. I pushed him as well. And I was the one who insisted that we fight rather than walk away. I deserve what came to me."

"No, you don't," she insisted in a firm tone. "It's my fault, truly. You felt the need to defend my honour and for that, I am truly sorry. I…" She stepped away from him, holding her head down. "I understand if you want to step away from this. I will convince my brother to compensate you for all that you've done for me so far and I will make sure that your renovations are complete. And you don't have to worry about helping me with—"

"Oh my! Lavender." Austin didn't like the distance she'd put between them. He wanted her close, her skin against his, at all times. "Surely you must know by now that I do not care about such things."

Lavender frowned at him. "But isn't that why you decided to marry me in the first place?"

"Yes, before I knew you. Before I fell in love with you. "

"But you—" She broke off, blinking. "You what?"

The dumbfounded look on her face made him smile. Austin reached out and brushed her hair behind her ears, cupping her face in both hands. "I am hopelessly in love with you. I am the one who is sorry that I did not tell you sooner."

"Oh."

That seemed like all she could muster. For the first time, Austin felt a sliver of uncertainty. He hadn't at all considered the thought that she might not feel the same way. But everything everyone had ever said about him came rushing back over all those years into this single moment. The uncouth, brutish bastard might not be the kind of man she could love. He might not be the kind of man she would truly want to marry.

He wiped away the twinkle of fear from his face even as it began to set root in his chest. "Would you like to marry me, Lavender?" he asked softly. "Considering the person that I am, someone who will spend every day trying to be a man you can be proud to call yours, do you still want to share my name?"

Lavender blinked at him. And then, to his utter relief, he saw the familiar shade of humor in her eyes. "Is that all you have, my lord?" she asked in a teasing voice.

"Well…" Austin pretended to think. "I must also mention that I have a title, which others might consider to be a selling point."

She tilted her head back to laugh. The sound was music to his ears. Lavender slid into his arms, grinning up at him.

"I love you too, Austin. Every bit of you, especially that title of yours."

Austin chuckled. He leaned in to kiss her gentle on her lips but she tipped into the kiss, deepening it. It stirred all the things that had been simmering under the surface for so long. Now that the truth of his feelings were out there, he didn't care to hold back. He didn't think twice about the fact that it might be deemed improper if they were caught like this.

"Do you see why I did not want to leave them alone?" Vincent's voice sounded from behind.

Lavender gasped and pulled away, turning two shades of red.

Miss Alice giggled. "And that is exactly why I thought to pull you away."