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Chapter Thirteen

"Please forgive the intrusion, my lord, but this is a matter that needs your prompt attention."

Austin turned to look at his butler with a raised brow. The firm tone he'd heard just now turned into a bumbling mess the moment Austin's eyes fell on him. His butler backed into the threshold of the study and bowed deeply.

"If it pleases you, my lord."

Austin only stared at him for a long moment. Then he chuckled under his breath. He saw the moment his butler stiffened at the sound, as if he was bracing for something horrible.

Once upon a time, the servants had only been apprehensive of him. They'd stayed out of his way, treating him with the respect that should be given to the earl's son—bastard or no—but never truly interacting with him. That apprehension shot up to true fear the day Austin received the title and he'd been fine with it. He didn't care if the housekeeper and the maids avoided him as if he were the plague. And it didn't matter to him that his butler shook in his boots every time he had to interact with him.

For some reason, watching a grown man tremble in fear when he was only doing his job, made him uncomfortable. Austin could only laugh at himself. Since when had he cared? And why did it bother him so much so suddenly?

"What is it?" he asked in as calm a voice as he could muster. He'd retreated to his study after breakfast wanting to stay out of the way of the workmen and find some solitude so he hoped this conversation would not be long.

The butler straightened and licked his lips, visibly wiping the trepidation from his face. "Your steward sends word from the main estate, my lord. I believe there are certain matters that require your attention, ones he cannot undertake in your stead."

Austin looked down at the bound book and what looked like a letter in the butler's hand. "And I assume that is from him?"

"Yes, my lord. He says that it is a matter of urgency."

"Hm." Austin turned to the window. "Put it on my desk. "

"Yes, my lord."

He listened to the butler's quick footsteps behind him as he hurried to do as he was told. Before he could leave, Austin said, "You have been employed by my father for a while now, haven't you?"

"Y-yes, my lord. I have been the butler of this townhouse for fifteen years."

"Fifteen years. That is long enough to watch me grow up, though I admittedly did not spend much time in London."

"I suppose, my lord."

Austin turned at the uncertainty in the butler's voice. He didn't know why he was doing this. He didn't care to know his servants better. The last thing he wanted to do was embrace this life that had been forced onto him, rather than accepted willingly.

But there was a certain brown-eyed lady floating around in his mind since his walk through the park yesterday and it was making him feel…nice. He was in an unusually good mood, even though there was the looming task of going to the tailor in his near future. Perhaps that was the reason he didn't feel instant annoyance at his butler interrupting his alone time.

"What is your name?" Austin asked, leaning on the wide windowsill. "I realise I have never asked you before."

The butler looked startled. "My name?" It is Mr. Jonathan Francis, my lord."

"Mr. Francis." Austin hoped he could remember that. He had a feeling this wasn't the first time he'd been told. "Thank you for your assistance, Mr. Francis."

The butler looked at a loss for words. Austin gave him a few seconds to come to terms with what he'd just said, and then he told him, "You may leave now."

"Yes, my lord." Mr. Francis left slower than he usually did, as if he were in a daze.

Odd of him to care about such a thing, Austin thought as he made his way to his desk. He only knew the name of the butler at the main estate, where he had spent most of his time. And that man was no more comfortable with him as Mr. Francis was.

Austin reached for the letter first, skimming through it out of mere curiosity. It was certainly a serious matter. Apparently, there were a number of servant posts now vacant at the estate since quite a few of the maids and footmen resigned. The other estates within the earldom also required considerable attention that his steward could not give himself. The bound book, Austin realized, was a ledger book. One quick look through it told him that things were not looking good.

He had been pouring all of his attention into the repairs that he hadn't given a single thought to anything else. And that was on purpose. Austin hadn't wanted this title. He didn't want the responsibility that came with managing so many things at once. Just looking at this ledger book brought on a slight megrim.

He tossed the book onto the desk and rubbed his temple. What should he do now? For a while now, he'd been content to ignore all his responsibilities, to do the bare minimum that was expected of him. But he'd known deep down that it wouldn't be long before everything he was running from caught up to him. And he wasn't prepared for it.

Austin didn't know how long he sat there pondering his life's decisions when there was another knock on the door.

"Come," he called gruffly, a little grateful for the distraction.

He expected it to be Mr. Francis, back to bother him with another annoying decision he had to make as earl. When Lavender slipped into the study instead, Austin almost couldn't believe his eyes.

She didn't look at him first. Her eyes ran around the room, drinking in every inch of his study. Austin felt a tremor of anxiousness as she took everything in. The study was the last room to be renovated since he'd needed a place where he could disappear from everything else while the repairs were underway. He hadn't expected to have anyone else in here but him.

What did she think of this place? Was she judging him for letting it get this bad?

Austin didn't say anything, watching as she made her way to the center of the room. He didn't realize he was holding his breath until she turned to him with no judgment in her eyes.

"I see why you spend so much time in here," she said. "I would too, but with perhaps a book or two. "

Austin leaned back in his chair, relief flooding him like a tidal wave. He didn't like the feeling. He hadn't cared about what others thought of him before so what did her opinion matter?

"I am not a lover of books," he told her. "I much prefer drinking and brooding."

"That does not surprise me in the slightest." She wandered closer, sinking into the chair across from his desk. A smile was playing around her lips. She looked well put together as usual, no different from the daughters and wives of wealthy lords. Her hair, however, had been left down around her shoulders in natural waves. It made her face look softer, her eyes rounder, her lips fuller. Or had she always looked like that?

"What are you doing here, Lavender?" he asked her.

"I am here to pay you a visit."

"Is it not customary to send word of your visit beforehand?"

"I have never done so before," she said with a shrug. "Why should I begin now?"

Austin held back his smirk. That was certainly true. "Please tell me you aren't here to drag me to the park again. I have not recovered from your last two attempts."

"Successful attempts, I must add." She didn't care to hide her smile. It tugged at her cheeks in such full force that her entire face shone like the sun. "But no, that isn't why I have decided to grace you with my presence on this fine afternoon."

"The tailor?" Austin asked, a little apprehensive.

"No, no. However, please note that the appointment is already set."

"Already?" He couldn't help the scowl that overtook his face. It came as natural to him as breathing but instead of returning the scowl like she usually did, she laughed.

"Yes, but as I said, that isn't the reason I have come. I was thinking about the garden party and our interaction with Lady Lively."

Austin searched her face for a moment. He saw no signs of her previous anxiousness. "What about it?"

"As you know, Lady Lively is the epitome of ladylike—"

"I know no such thing. "

Lavender rolled her eyes and folded her arms. "And you, my lord, are nothing of the sort. You are so far from what a proper lord should be that I wonder if you will be helpful or damaging to my plan."

Austin felt a sharp pang of annoyance at those words. So she hadn't come here for any other reason that for her own foolish plan.

"I'm sorry to tell you, Lavender," he said in a tone that implied he wasn't sorry at all. "But I am who I am. You cannot take the bastard out of the man."

"That is nonsense and you know it. I have heard many rumours about you, Austin."

"From your maid."

She smiled brightly at that and Austin's scowl grew deeper. "Yes, that is right. And she tells me that you were accepted by your father from birth. You grew along sons of other lords and were given the highest possible education men of your stature can receive. I have no doubt that you have what it takes to become a true and proper earl."

"And what if I don't want to be?" Austin asked with a raised brow. He ignored the irony of the situation, considering his confusion earlier while looking through the ledger book.

"You have no choice in the matter."

Lavender was in a chipper mood, he realized. Despite his grumpiness, she faced him with nothing but bright words and a smile on her face. Lavender pulled her chair towards the desk until she was close enough to rest her elbows on top.

"Now, pretend that I am Lady Lively," she said. "And I have approached you at the horse racing match. How will you greet me?"

Austin just stared at her. Lavender's smile began to slip as her expectancy morphed into curiosity then confusion.

"Don't you know what to say?" she asked at last.

"You asked, how will I greet her. I do not intend on greeting the countess at all."

"Goodness, you are being quite stubborn, aren't you?" She shifted in the chair. Austin realized after a moment that she was tucking her legs underneath her. "Very well, how about this? What will you say if someone were to ask about your feelings towards your betrothed?"

"Why is that anyone's business?"

"It does not matter. They will ask regardless."

Austin couldn't deny that. The ton were a nosy bunch.

He considered the question for a moment. His first inclination would be to tell them the truth and not care about what they thought of it. It took him a moment to realize that he didn't quite know what the truth was.

He'd resented Lavender for a moment when they'd first met, even though he'd walked into this betrothal himself. For making him do the things he'd always dreaded, for dragging him around as if he were nothing but a prop in her play. But now, none of that remained.

Right now when he looked at her, he felt…something. It was potent, rearing its ugly head every time he looked directly into her eyes. But he didn't know what that something was. All he knew was that he didn't feel any irritation when she'd walked into the room. And when she'd scooted her chair closer, a part of him wished that she would bring it to his side of the desk instead.

"She is my betrothed," he said at last when he realized that she was still waiting for his response.

"That…" Lavender frowned, looking disappointed. "That is not a proper response at all."

Austin only shrugged.

For the first time since she'd walked into the room, she looked genuinely frustrated. Suddenly, she began getting to her feet even though she'd only just gotten comfortable.

"Come with me," she said.

"Where? Why?"

"There is a garden behind this house, is there not? Let us go for a walk. Get some fresh air."

Austin found himself standing without realizing it. "Oh, dear, this woman and her walks," he grumbled loud enough for her to hear.

Lavender laughed and turned away before she caught the end of a smile he'd been trying to hide.

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