Chapter Eleven

At some point, she couldn't see where she was going. The tears that blurred her eyes didn't seem ready to fall just yet, waiting for her to be safely locked away where no one could see her. She headed straight for the powder room, after receiving directions on how to find it from a maid. Locked within, everything came pouring out.

Lady Lively was just as ruthless as she remembered her to be. The worst thing was that the countess knew that she was untouchable, so much so that she could say whatever she wanted without receiving any backlash. No one would ever dare say such scathing remarks directly to someone else's face. And yet the Countess of Lively did not hesitate. She'd gone out of her way, approached her directly, to reduce Lavender to the dirt under her shoe.

Austin had seen it all. He'd watched the countess approaching and hadn't said a word about it even though he knew Lavender was avoiding her. Was that the reason he had touched her so tenderly? God, how could she have fallen for that?

Lavender held in her sobs as the tears ran down her face in rivulets. She wouldn't dare allow anyone to see or hear her cry. But no matter how hard she tried to stop, the tears kept coming. She didn't know how long she spent in there.

I have to follow through with this. I won't allow her to stop me .

Lady Lively was right about many things. Lavender's improper words at the last garden party, even though she had been trying to save the gentleman from embarrassment by pointing it out to him. Lord Derby's rough demeanour that was quite unbecoming of a proper earl. And yes, perhaps on the outside it looked as if they were perfect for each other.

But she was more than her title—or lack thereof. At the end of that, everyone would know. She just had to keep going .

At last, the tears abated. Lavender wiped away what was left of it and pulled her shoulders back. She had to get back out there and put that smile back on her face, no matter how false it was.

As soon as she stepped out of the powder room, a large shadow fell over her. Lavender gasped when she saw that it was Austin.

"What are you doing?" she cried. "Don't you know how improper it is for you to be so close to a ladies' powder room?"

Austin scoffed. "You people and your rules," he grumbled and grasped her hand. "Come. We're leaving."

"Leaving? What do you mean, we're leaving?"

"Just that." He pulled her down a path that would lead them back to the carriage. "We have no reason to be here any longer."

"But we can't just leave," she protested. "We have to at least say goodbye to the host."

"They will figure it out eventually."

"But—"

"Do you want to stay?" he asked, stopping abruptly to face her. "After everything that had just been said to you, I thought you would jump at the thought of returning home."

"I…" She was having a hard time wrapping her mind around what was happening. "You're leaving because of me?"

"I don't particularly enjoy being here either," he grumbled.

Lavender didn't know what to say. All of a sudden, she realized how red her eyes had to be after her crying but Austin said nothing about it. How long had he been standing outside the powder room waiting for her to finish crying?

"I can't leave," she said at last. "I want to, but I have never been a coward and I won't start now. I won't let Lady Lively believe that she chased me away."

He only stared at her for a moment. If she didn't know better she would think that the look in his eyes was one of admiration.

"Very well," he conceded at last. "But if you insist on returning to the party then you should at least wipe your face properly."

He fished out a handkerchief from his waistcoat and handed it to her. Lavender gratefully accepted. "Thank you. And thank you for trying to rectify the situation you've caused. Don't think I didn't know that you were aware of Lady Lively approaching us."

"I was. And I said nothing because I was curious."

"About what?"

"About why you were so afraid of her. Now I know."

She let out a humorless laugh, handing him his handkerchief. "Then you understand me."

"What I don't understand is why you are going to such lengths to befriend someone like her. And there are dozens more lords and ladies just like the Countess of Lively. Why would you want to be a part of a society that would speak to you that way."

Lavender shook her head, heading back towards the party. The closer they drew to the sound of chatter, the more uncomfortable she became. But she hid it well. Hopefully.

"You won't understand," she deflected.

"Then help me understand," Austin pressed. "Especially if you want me to help you on this silly quest."

Lavender didn't respond. She didn't need to get into the whys of her questions right now. She just needed to make it to the end of the party without breaking down in tears again.

Thankfully, Austin didn't press her with any more questions. When they were within eyesight again, Lavender could tell everyone was talking about her. At least it felt that way. She was certain that the laughter coming from the table Lady Lively sat at was at her expense, though so she stayed away from it.

"They're staring at me, not you," Austin said.

Lavender frowned up at him. "Why would you think that?"

"No one heard the conversation you had with the countess," he said, tucking his hands in this pockets. He stared out at the guests as if he was displeased with every single one of them. "But they know who I am. The bastard earl. Everywhere I go they talk, and they watch me. So there's no need for you to think that you're the object of their stares."

Lavender blinked. "If I didn't know any better, I would think that you are trying to make me feel better."

"Then it is good that you do know better," he drawled.

Lavender laughed, surprising herself at how genuine it was. "We do make quite the pair, don't we? "

"The bastard earl and the sister of a wealthy merchant? Perhaps not as much as you think."

"Do you truly not realise how accepted you are by these people compared to me? Wealth or no, having no title is all that matters to them."

"Enough of them." He put his hand on the small of her back. Lavender stiffened as electric jolts raced up her spine. He began steering her towards the lords and ladies playing croquette. "We've done enough socialising for the afternoon. Let's spend the rest of our time here watching the croquette game."

"That…does not sound so bad."

"You will enjoy it immensely, I'm sure." He picked up two glasses of lemonade on the way there. Lavender felt cold without his touch. They chose an unoccupied table and he even pulled her chair out for her. "And don't worry. I will take on the hardship of informing anyone if their pants need mending."

Lavender tilted her head back and laughed.

***

He didn't believe the party would ever end. Austin trudged up the steps of his townhouse, noting that they had been fixed since leaving earlier this afternoon. Lavender was on her way home and he was free to resent this entire ordeal until the next event he was forced to attend.

Though, he supposed it wasn't that bad by the end of it. As soon as Lavender decided to ignore the guests and enjoy herself, Austin had seen her mask slip more than once. He realized he didn't mind the mask-less lady half as much. At least, not when they were laughing at the croquette players and gorging on lemonade.

He was not looking forward to the next event however. It had only been a few days and he was exhausted. Putting so much effort into his appearance for the party had been tiring on its own, even though it made him feel better about himself. All the effort had basically been for naught because of the drama surrounding Lavender and Lady Lively .

He still didn't understand why she was so determined to impress her after seeing what a horrible person the countess was. And he was too tired to care right now. He dragged himself through the foyer and to the closest drawing room, needing a drink.

The moment he stepped inside, he paused. The room looked…different. He couldn't tell how. The furniture was all in the same place. The bookshelves he'd asked the workmen not to touch hadn't moved from their spots.

It was the wallpaper, he realized. It was the same but different. Cleaner, no tears, bright. Had they been replaced?

"My lord." Right on time, his butler appeared. "I did not know you had returned home."

"Who did this?" Austin asked, wandering over to the nearest wall. He brushed his fingers against it, marveling at how smooth it was.

"The wallpaper, my lord?" The butler sounded confused. "The workmen took care of it while you were gone. I ensured that everything was put back in its rightful place before you returned home."

"Was it your idea?" Austin asked, looking back at it. "Replacing the wallpaper with exactly the same one?"

"No, my lord." The butler seemed anxious. "Miss Lavender made the suggestion when she visited this afternoon. I thought that it would be good to pay the suggestion heed seeing that she will soon become the lady of this house."

"Lavender did this?" he murmured to himself.

"Y-yes, my lord. Was it a mistake?"

"No." Austin cleared his throat. "You may go. Thank you."

"Very well, my lord." The butler all but scampered away.

Austin made his way to the sideboard and poured himself a much needed glass of scotch. How did she know about the wallpaper? He'd been so caught up in this betrothal and all that was expected of him that he'd forgotten to tell the workmen to leave the wallpaper be. His mother had loved it. And because she had, he loved it too.

How had she known ?

No, she didn't know, he told himself. She didn't know a thing about him, other than the fact that he was a bastard, and yet she'd made such an important decision such as this.

Perhaps Lady Lively was right about one thing. Even though theirs was far from a love match, perhaps they were good for each other.