Chapter 4

Veronica

she’s the worst person ever.

I winced at the screen, sitting cozy in the corner of my couch, staring out the window at the half-moon over the city, wrapped up in blankets with a cappuccino—Anna had given me an espresso machine for my birthday, telling me to stop barging into her apartment to use hers, but the cappuccinos didn’t hit the same from my own machine.

Right now, though, I was mostly just thinking about how I was texting Kelcey about how much I was in love with Kelcey, without knowing I was me or that I was talking about her. And she’d just given me a well-deserved cutting insult, and I was fully prepared for more as she kept typing.

she’s the most beautiful person in the world, she sent, and my heart ached like she’d just up and stuck a knife in in. I mean, I had no one to blame but myself, and I hunched my shoulders, fuming at the screen, needing her to stop now but—well. I was a self-indulgent woman. I wanted to see what else she’d say.

she’s wild and free and she made everything so much fun… she could show up in the middle of the night and we’d go have the most amazing magical dates together. she always made me laugh and made me feel like the most beautiful woman alive and she made me see how big and exciting the world was if I let go of fears, of whether people would see me and judge me, and I was ten times the woman I am when I was with her

I chewed my lip, antsy, staring at the screen, a sick feeling in my stomach, wondering how I was supposed to respond. If I was even supposed to respond or if I was supposed to just go throw myself from the window. She kept typing, though.

and then it turned out she was just using me for a quick good time and she moved on to go find someone else to occupy her for another fifteen minutes somewhere else.

Ugh—I didn’t do mushy stuff. I wasn’t into this kind of thing. Even in my fanfic phase, I’d mostly just been into the part where they fucked. This was why I couldn’t stand Kelcey Huntington, because out of all the people in the world, apparently it was some little marshmallow of a human being who made me mushy after all? Her? I’d just been trying to fuck her because she was cute and I had a thing for blue eyes and I definitely had a thing for rich people. And now here I was, pining. Pining! Veronica Preston, pining. And over a woman! Could you imagine? I couldn’t.

I poured my pent-up angry energy into a message that needed sending. she sounds like a nasty piece of work

She sent a laughing emoji and a crying emoji, and then, it’s probably a bad sign that I’m still hung up on her if I want to defend her…

I pursed my lips, hunching my shoulders. there’s better people to defend. you seem like a wonderful person and you deserve a lot better than that.

I don’t really want better than that tbh… no matter how much I complain I’m still low-key kind of in love with her forever and I don’t want to be with anybody else

Ugh, kill me. Seriously? Was she for real right now? I groaned, slumping over the back of the couch, kicking my feet up over the arm. getting over people sucks, I sent. I’m still high-key kind of in love with the last girl I was with and I don’t want to be with anybody else, even though I’ve high-key tried

There was a long pause before she sent, yeah?

yeah. used to date a whole bunch, just enjoying life in the city, but then this girl comes along and shakes me up and now I’m a useless sap

She sent a line of laughing emojis, and, idk I think you’re amazing, and, you’re really good at what you do and you’re really fun to talk to

dunno… I might be a little like your ex

omg don’t even say that!! you’re nothing like her

News to me, honestly. I groaned. the breakup with me and the girl I was with was totally my fault

we all make mistakes… isn’t it just about whether you go back in and fix them?

Dammit, I’d tried. Not that I wanted to admit to that. I didn’t like how much Kelcey made me into a sap. I wanted to go back to when we were flirty and fun and free and I didn’t have to think about things like that weird word girlfriend or what girls were to me or… or about dating and monogamy and commitment or being in love. Ick.

yeah… I guess so. you’re a smart woman, kelce.

I’d said it mostly because I knew she hated people calling her dumb, and Anna’s little move putting her on this job to try things out in a low-stakes environment felt a little patronizing, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d felt like she was being infantilized. Her response said it worked. yeah?? you think so??

yeah, definitely. you went and tracked down Danielson to get to ECR and got in with a good contact and started sorting out this whole task in no time. you’re clever and good with people.

She replied, as Kelcey had so many times before while texting me on my actual personal number, with an eloquent, asdjkjsdjglahsflkasjfl and thank you so much with a handful of puppy-dog-eyes emojis. sometimes I feel like everyone just looks down on me and thinks I’m dumb and useless, and Veronica said I was dumb too

I glowered. Veronica is a dumbass who is completely wrong about you

oh my god she’s not a dumbass!! But before I could protest that Veronica was absolutely a dumbass, she sent a row of laughing emojis. you’re so nice to me, Nic… I really appreciate you

She absolutely did not. Also shouldn’t have. I could really only keep this up for so long before she found out who I was, and she’d absolutely blow a fuse and murder me when that happened. But maybe I’d just go switch jobs again once that bomb dropped anyway. I was overdue for a switch.

And at least this way I got to talk to Kelcey again before I did. Like one last sweet little farewell.

∞∞∞

I desperately needed to get laid.

It was the biggest thing on my mind when I woke up in the morning, despite a pile of work that needed doing and a pile of cleaning chores I’d put off in my house. I hadn’t had anything since Kelcey had shot me down brutally, and I figured if anything was going to help, it was getting fucked into the mattress by a stranger so hard my ovaries exploded, so I didn’t even bother rolling out of bed before I dredged up my dating app profile, popping it back to public and updating it.

looking for a hookup to help me get over the girl I fucked things up with by having a short attention span

Along with some of my sexiest photos, I figured that would do the trick. Set it to look for women, men, any gender if they were horny—that wasn’t an option so I just picked all—and satisfied myself that the profile would let the girlies know I knew how to make them come and let the boys think I was a manic pixie dream girl, because for some reason they went wild over that. Swiped right on every face I thought might look nice between my legs for a night, and I texted Anna as I was getting into the kitchen to start up breakfast.

do you have any events coming up I can crash?? I need to get laid

She texted back quicker than I expected. She was usually busy at work this time. For goodness sakes, Veronica, go do it at the bar like the old-fashioned way, you don’t want the people I spend time with.

Ah, shit, I’d texted Grandma by mistake again. sorry Gram that was for Anna

She sent back a thumbs-up emoji. Gram gave me a lot of those. Really needed to change Anna’s contact away from Grandmaster . It had been too long since she’d last let me whoop her ass in chess for me to make fun of her with it anyway, and it just led to confusion. I texted Anna instead, forwarding the message from Grandma’s chat, and Anna replied by the time I was done making a cappuccino and fighting for my life to peel hardboiled eggs.

is there no limit on the unhinged shit you’ll text Grandma?

I wasn’t trying to, I sent. now answer the question

you are not invited to any events

Bingo. That meant there was one. Otherwise she’d just say no and leave it at that. at the same event center as before?

Veronica, don’t.

That meant it absolutely was. I smiled to myself in the mirror for a minute to make sure my dumb-pretty-girl face was on, which was going to show on the phone, and I pulled up the number for the event center, calling them.

“Hi there,” I said in my best silly-lost-girl voice once they picked up. “Sorry, I’m just trying to confirm the time and date of the event that Lakeshore is hosting? Do you know, or, uh… jeez, do I have the right place?”

It was an older man on the other side, which meant he was fully suckered in. I just laughed along with his little comments while he poked around, giving him the most attention he was getting from a woman all month, and I fished the deets: tomorrow at six. Seemed like something comms and outreach were putting on in collaboration with some investors to try buttering them up, which was nice. Investors meant overconfident men in suits with tons of money and insecurities they could only ply by spending that money on women. One in a million chance to find a woman there, but it was worth it if I did—ladies in finance were hot as fuck and left nothing to be desired. The type who weren’t shy about telling you exactly what they wanted. No matter how the odds played out, it was good news for me.

And I wasn’t going to think about Kelcey once. Even though I was thinking about Kelcey by trying not to think about her.

Ugh. Dammit. That girl was a virus and a hard one to shake. Maybe I needed to go back to the fetlife weirdos and get to another orgy. Although honestly, if Stephanie was hosting it again, I’d mostly just be there for the food… had never realized mashed potatoes could be that delicious. Had barely even noticed the orgy.

I huddled up in warm, fuzzy things after breakfast and got my laptop open to do some work—since apparently I had to keep working most days of my adult life, which seemed like a fucking scam to me—and opened a message from Danielson.

Any updates on Kelcey Huntington?

Dammit, I was thinking about her again. I didn’t want an orgy… I wanted to wake up in Kelcey’s cute bed again. Mostly because it was a luxe apartment and I had expensive tastes. Partly because Kelcey had some fantastic boobs that were great to wake up to on the nights we’d fallen asleep naked. A lot because she had a bit more of a dominating streak in the mornings and she was such a blushy little bottom most of the time that it was exciting when she suddenly got bossy. Partly because she had good food in her apartment.

No other reasons. Those were the only ones. Kelcey Huntington’s eyes did not shine a special kind of blue I’d never seen before in the way late-morning light hit the window, and seeing her with hair falling at odd angles over her face and smudged traces of last night’s mascara that had evaded the makeup remover did absolutely nothing to me.

We’re completely sold on the project, I said. Got Kelcey totally in our pocket, and got a sample script together that impressed her bosses too and got them on board. Green lights across the board.

He replied right away. Guy never did real work, always just sitting waiting for a company communication to respond to and feel all important. Damn, Vern. Nice work.

Does this mean I get to take off the rest of today? Good progress on that project.

Uh-huh. And all the other projects we have on right now?

I groaned, kicking at the floor. Julia can handle them.

You’re sure clocking in late this morning, aren’t you, Vern?

yes because I was up late last night winning over a very important client. You should double my pay.

We’ll consider it, he said, and he sent a message that made my stomach drop out. I’ll chat with Huntington about business and about you and we’ll get the specifics ironed out.

That wasn’t a good idea. I can handle it, she loves me

I mean, kind of. She did say she was still in love with me. Not that I was spending my time thinking about that and about the way I’d fallen asleep with cute little goodnight, Kelce messages and looking back at the messages where she’d talked about how much brighter the world had shined when she was with me and how she wasn’t a tenth the person she was with me—I was not thinking about that because I was not in love with Kelcey Huntington. I barely even remembered her name. Was it Kelcey or Belcey? I forgot sometimes.

Oblivious to my spiral, Danielson responded with, It’s business stuff I need to be on. Don’t worry about it.

I can do it if you just tell me about the details.

Vern, did you hit your head this morning? I’ve never seen you fighting to take on a task.

That was a good point. I was probably being a little bit weird. I bit my lip, shifting anxiously, before I said, Fine, fine, fine. Just don’t refer to me as Veronica. We’re besties so we go by nicknames, she’s Kelce and I’m Nic.

He took a minute before he replied, Sure… is it that sensitive? Is that why you’re fighting for your life to make sure I don’t take this?

The truth was the most powerful lie of all. Yeah her shitty ex’s name is also Veronica so we’re very explicitly not letting her know she’s currently working with a Veronica.

Another minute before he replied, You always have the most interesting deep-dive intel on clients, Vern. Got it. Anything else?

Don’t say anything about the link between me and my sister, they’ve already been on thin ice there about conflicts of interest recently so I’m trying to get so entrenched that they can’t afford to brush us aside when it comes up

You’re nothing if not ruthlessly efficient. Will do. I’ll tell her you said hi and leave it at that.

Thank god. Now it was time to bury my head in the sand and eat food until I had to face reality.