Chapter four

Jeff

The water falls over me, washing away the last of the blood. I've scrubbed my neck near raw, making sure it's all gone. I'm tired of smelling it as it clings to my skin. All I wanna smell is-- I duck my head under the water, trying to get myself to stop thinking about the beautiful man whose shower I'm currently using.

Is this some sort of weird vampire thing? Did I accidentally imprint on the first person I saw when I first woke up? Why the fuck do I want to bury my face against his throat and smell him? Why do my fangs itch to bury themselves in his shoulder? Why does my body start to feel alive when I'm around him despite knowing I'm undead?

There's no denying he's beautiful with his dark hair that curls around his ears and his kind, brown eyes. He's a little smaller than me which makes my stomach flutter with something I'm not ready to name. His smile makes my lips curl up in response. He's gorgeous. But he's more than just a pretty face, he's also kind.

My stomach swoops in a pleasant way as I think about the chocolate blood he'd given me. It felt like he was being gentle with me, taking care of me. It's been a long time since someone has taken care of me instead of the other way around. I've made it my mission to care for other people. Sure, it's unconventional but taking care of the supernatural and shielding humans away from it is important. I don't regret it in the slightest.

My mind goes to my team and I wince. If my heart was still beating, it would be racing with worry. I need to contact them but I'm not sure I even have my phone anymore. Did that woman steal it? Did she text them and let them know I was dead? Fuck, they must be so worried about me.

I need them to know I'm okay, but I also know I can't go to them. Not yet. Not until I know I won't hurt them.

There's a darkness swirling inside of me. I can feel it. It would be so easy to just shut it all off, to lose myself to the blood lust. It wouldn't even hurt, really. But once it's flipped, I don't think I could ever come back. It's not worth it, to even entertain the idea. I shut it down, putting a lid on it and shoving it to the furthest darkest corner of my mind. I will fight to keep my humanity. I won't let this random vampire win.

Letting out a long sigh and dunking my head under the hot water one more time, I turn the water off and step out of the shower. For a moment, my skin is pink from the heat of the shower. For just a moment, I can almost pretend nothing is wrong. But in the next moment, the pink fades, leaving behind the same paleness of before.

I have so much to get used to. The taste, the hunger, the smells, and the overwhelming sounds of everything. I hate it. But a teeny tiny part of my brain wonders if this will ultimately help me in the long run. No doubt I'm faster than before. I'm stronger. I could track someone with my sense of smell. Maybe this will make me a better hunter.

Silver lining and all that.

I quickly dry myself and step out of the bathroom with my towel wrapped around my waist. To my surprise, Axel is here, sitting on his bed waiting for me.

I'm blindsided by a new sort of hunger that overtakes me at the sight. Lust curls dangerously in my belly. It hits me so hard I almost fall to my knees right then and there. My hands clench into fists and I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. Wrong move because now Axel's scent is surrounding me, filling my nose and lungs with that divine smell. All of my nerves feel like they're being zapped all at once and the only thing that'll soothe them is getting my hands on Axel.

Jesus fucking Christ.

I shake my head, holding my breath instead so as not to breathe him in anymore. I try to ignore the arousal simmering just under my skin, trying to burn me.

"Hey," Axel says gently, standing up and starting to back away from me, like he somehow knows what's coming over me right now. And that idea, the idea that just maybe he can fucking smell the lust rolling off of me makes me pause with embarrassment. Gods, I hate this. I hate feeling this out of control. "I've left some clothes out for you. Thankfully we seem to be roughly the same size."

"Yeah," I grit out, "lucky."

"If you need anything I'll be in the kitchen."

"Thank you," I tell him with a little nod, not daring to move. The desire to leap forward and pin him to the floor is still present, but I refuse to act on it.

Once the door clicks shut, I let myself sag forward, catching myself on the edge of the bed. Fuck. This poor guy doesn't need this. He's helping me and for some reason my new vampiric brain wants to jump his bones. I'm gonna make him uncomfortable or do something stupid like try to fucking bite him. It would be better if I could just check myself into a hotel away from the world until I have myself under control.

I should be able to suffer alone. It's probably what I deserve anyway.

All of the rights I've done don't fix the wrongs of trusting my sister, Trish. I'm not sure anything will ever make up for that.

I quickly slip into Axel's clothes and gods, even the thought of wearing his clothes has my body sparking with lust once more. I feel like I'm going through puberty all over again, made even more apparent by my cock hardening, tenting Axel's pants.

I groan, rubbing at my face tiredly. I let myself indulge for just a moment, pulling the hoodie up over my nose and breathing in. Fuck. The smell of fresh rain fills my nose. Somehow it has the ability to excite me further and calm my racing nerves at the same time. A small part of me wonders if I could get away with jerking off quickly in the bathroom, but the smarter part of me thinks Axel would be able to hear it, or smell it. It's not worth it. Not if I want to keep even a shred of dignity alive.

I might not be alive but my ego is still thriving and I would really like to keep it that way.

Once I've gotten myself under control, I step out into the living room. I let my nose guide me, which is weird as fuck but also kind of cool, to finding Axel. He's sitting at his kitchen table, his phone in his hands. He looks up at me, smiling. I curse my stomach for fluttering like a teenager seeing his crush. That's not what this is. Right?

"Hey," I say, sitting down across from him. "Would it be okay if I used your phone? I think mine was either stolen or left in that basement. I wanna let my team know I'm okay."

"Your team?"

"Yeah." I nod, tapping my fingers against the table. "I'm a hunter. Which is incredibly ironic now, I know that. I have four guys on my team and we work together to stop the supernatural from hurting people."

Axel clears his throat. "I assume you don't hunt for sport?"

"Fuck no," I grit out. I clench my hands against the side of the table, only stopping when I hear the table creak, like it might literally break under my strength. I let go quickly, closing my eyes a moment. Fuck, I need to learn to keep myself in check or I'll be losing control around every corner. "Sorry about that," I say after a moment, opening my eyes again and finding Axel just watching me carefully.

"That's alright. I'm impressed with your self-control if I'm honest."

I snort, shaking my head. "What self-control? I almost just broke your table because you just happened to blindly stumble onto my past trauma."

"But you didn't actually break it. You think this is my first table, Jeff? It's not. Not by a long shot," he tells me, letting out an amused chuckle.

"You do this often? Bring in newly turned vampires and rehabilitate them?" I ask, wanting to get away from talking about me. Axel's accidentally struck a nerve and I'm doing my best not to let my metaphorical feathers be ruffled.

"My house has somehow become a bit of a wayward halfway house. I help people get back on their feet when the need arises. I've helped raise a few baby vampires in the past." Axel shrugs like it's no big deal. I can feel my heart softening the more I get to know Axel. Not only is he beautiful, but he has a good heart as well.

"That's--" I look away, clearing my throat. "That's really admirable."

"Almost as admirable as a hunter keeping humans safe," he says, smiling at me. Axel slides his phone across the table and I take it gratefully.

"Thank you. I really hope they're not too worried about me. Hopefully they don't fucking hate me."

"If they truly are your team, then there's no reason for them to hate you. They'll probably be relieved to hear that you're safe." I give him a small, somewhat sad smile as I stand up, giving myself the illusion of privacy. "I'm actually going to step out for a moment, so I don't accidentally overhear your conversation, okay? Stay inside for now. I'll just go down to the gas station and then come right back."

"That sounds good. Thank you," I say again, really needing him to understand how thankful I am for this. For him.

"It's no trouble at all." Axel puts on a jacket and steps out. For the first time since turning, I am completely and utterly alone. I tuck my nose into the front of Axel's hoodie again, letting it soothe my flayed nerves before shakily typing in Ronny's phone number.