Chapter nine

Jeff

Itake a small sip from my cup before setting it down. I'm trying not to chug the entire glass all at once. This is progress. I feel like my self-control gets better with each passing day.

I need that self-control today more than ever. My crew is coming today. Axel will be here the entire time, lending me strength and making sure I don't hurt them but I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous as fuck. Even with every precaution in place, I'm still worried I could hurt them. I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive myself if something happened to them because of me.

A hand runs through my hair and I look up, finding my mate staring down at me with a soft smile. Fuck. My mate. Who would have thought that being turned into a vampire would give me something as precious as a mate? How lucky am I that the man taking care of me turns out to be just that? Lady Fate really knew what she was doing when she crossed our paths.

I'm so thankful for Axel. He's taken care of me at my most vulnerable. He's been patient with me as I learn to control myself and learn how to interact in this new body. He's been kind and supportive. It was his idea to bring the guys here today because he thinks I'm ready. He's so sure I won't hurt them.

I hope his faith isn't misplaced.

"How are you feeling?"

I grab his wrist, pulling his hand down so I can nuzzle it. "I'm okay. Mostly just nervous."

"How hungry are you?"

"Not too bad," I tell him seriously. "I think I'll be full after this glass."

"Good. Then the temptation won't even be there. Trust me. Once you smell them and they smell like family they'll smell a lot less like food."

I let out a long sigh. "If you say so."

"I do. Trust me. I've been a vampire much longer than you."

I smile, tugging Axel down so he's sitting in my lap. I run my thumb over his cheek, just looking at how pretty my mate is. "How long have you been a vampire?"

"My entire life," he says with a small smile, knowing that's not at all what I meant. But it is interesting. I hadn't realized Axel was a born vampire rather than a turned one like me.

"And how old are you, mate of mine?"

"I turn sixty-nine next month."

I smirk plays across my lips. "Well, let me tell you, I have a few ideas on how to properly celebrate said birthday."

Axel lets out the most adorable giggle, smacking my chest playfully. He shakes his head before ducking down and stealing a kiss. Just then, there's a knock on the door. I swallow thickly, my entire body locking up.

"Hey," Axel whispers, running his fingers through my hair once more. "You're gonna do amazing, Jeff. You can do this."

"I can do this," I repeat, nodding my head. "Thank you for being here."

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be." He picks up my mug of warm blood, handing it over to me. "Finish this and then I'll let them in, okay?"

I silently pick up the mug, drinking the rest of it. The blood is delicious as it slides down my throat and warms me from the inside. I can understand why some vampires become addicted to drinking so much at once. I feel almost human when I've just finished drinking my fill. It makes me feel warm again. It's an addicting feeling but one I'd rather not chase, not when it could put someone's life at risk. Not when it could make me a monster.

I can hear the door click open from here. I listen closely, able to pick out four sets of footsteps besides Axel's. The tiniest smile plays at my lips. I'm not getting rusty, if anything, becoming a vampire has helped me with things like this. Maybe I'll be able to become an even better hunter.

"Are you sure it's okay that we're here?" Carlos asks. "If it's too soon we can totally wait."

"No, no," Axel reassures them, my stomach warming at the amount of faith my mate has in me. "He's ready. And I'll be right here to help ground him just in case. He won't admit it but he's missed you all."

"Awww," Ronny coos and I roll my eyes. "Bossman missed us!"

"Of course I did," I say as they come into the kitchen. The first one through the door is Cooper and he pauses for just a moment before smiling and coming to sit down at the table with me. Everyone else follows behind. Martin squeezes my shoulder as he passes me and his scent fills my nose. Axel was right. They don't smell like food, they smell like my family. Their scents comfort me.

I can hear each of their hearts beating, the sound throbbing inside my skull. I can imagine the blood flowing through them. But instead of the desire to bite them, I'm overcome with the instinct to protect them, to keep that blood flowing at all costs.

I relax back in my chair, looking around at everyone as they in turn, look back at me. I can tell they're assessing me, trying to figure out if anything's changed.

"So," I start, leaning my elbows on the table. A gentle hand touches my shoulder and the smell of fresh rain hits my nose. I smile as I look at my team. "Tell me what we've got on this vampire."

There's a pause before everyone is sinking back into their usual roles. "So I found footage of when she took you. I've got what she looks like. We were also able to find the house she was holding you in, but she hasn't been back since," Ronny, our tech guy, tells me. Something close to pain rings through my chest at the thought of my team seeing that basement, seeing all of my blood on the floor. That must have been so hard for them.

"That makes sense. She doesn't seem the type to go back to the scene," I say, running my fingers through my hair. "But I don't think she's done with us yet."

"Me neither," Cooper says, butting in. He's our lore guy. He collects rare books that are filled with knowledge so whenever I have a question about the specifics of a creature, he's the guy I go to. "It would seem that the vampire we took out was her mate. If what I read about is true, I'm not sure she'll ever stop until she gets some sort of sick vengeance, Jeff."

I nod slowly. "I think you're right. She kept mentioning how she was going to make me hurt as much as she's hurting."

"Don't you think you've suffered enough?" Martin asks gently. Our gentle giant. The man knows all there is to know about weapons, including how to use them. Yet, is always there with a soft answer or listening ear.

"To her? Probably not."

"And how do you feel about this woman?" Cooper asks, his eyes never leaving mine. "Would you be okay with us taking care of her, Jeff?"

"I know what you're asking and no, I don't feel some debt to her for turning me into a vampire." I pause before adding, "I don't feel any sort of bond with her at all."

The hand on my shoulder squeezes. "That might be because you haven't seen her since your transformation," Axel says gently. "Sometimes the bond doesn't happen until you meet again after waking up."

"Fucking great," I murmur, rubbing at my eyes.

"It's alright," Carlos says, "you can't help it. None of us would hold it against you if we had to be the one to do the deed. All we care about is taking care of this and making sure you're safe."

"Alright, alright. I'm the one supposed to be taking care of you, kid, not the other way around."

Carlos shrugs. When the hell did he get so wise? He's the baby of our group yet here he is, making sure I'm safe and sound. I'm not sure I could be more proud. "Or. And hear me out. We could all take care of each other?"

The other guys around the table murmur their agreements, nodding their heads. Gods, I love my team.

I playfully give them all a dramatic sigh. "Fine. I guess you can all worry about me."

We continue on like always, laughing about the idiotic things we've done at past hunts, sharing some food, and just hanging out. It's refreshing, knowing that I haven't changed. I'm not a different person just because I'm a vampire now. This is still my family and they still love me.

Axel was right, this is exactly what I needed.

Before they all leave, I catalog them into my head, adding them to the senses I possess now. They all have their own unique scent and I file them away under family. "You smell like a wet dog," I blurt out when I hug Carlos, immediately regretting it as soon as I've said it. That's fucking rude.

Carlos gives the most awkward chuckle I think I've ever heard. "Must have been that dog I stopped to pet."

"Right," I murmur, not believing him for a second but letting the topic drop. I look at everyone. "Please make sure no one is going out on their own. And make sure you have weapons on you at all times, just in case. I'm not sure what this woman's next move will be but I don't want any of us to be unprepared, alright?"

"You got it," Martin says, giving me one last hug before they're all on their way out the door, off to the campgrounds once more.

The moment they're all out, a pang of longing hits me full force. I want to be with them. I want to be in my camper. I want to be useful again.

But then my eyes meet Axel's and the longing turns into something else. Hope? Excitement? And maybe a tiny bit of trepidation about the unknowns of my-- no, our future.

I can't just think about me. I can't just think about my team. Now, I have a mate to consider. Would he even want me to continue being a hunter? I've never imagined my life outside of being a hunter. I can't imagine doing anything else.

How would I gain redemption from my past if I'm not doing good as a hunter?

Before I work myself into a full on panic, I take a deep breath, letting Axel's scent wash over me. The most important thing right now is to continue training my self-control and getting used to being in this body. Everything else will fall into place. That's what I have to hold on to.