Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

The night that the Stoker family picked to decorate their tree for the fundraiser was Christmas-card perfect. The whole family was there: Rhonda and Donovan, Nora and Aiden, Caroline and Rhett and Jay, and Margo. They had decided to theme the tree around holiday baked goods, since Rhonda loved to bake so much, and she had made snacks for everyone that reflected it.

Donovan had built a fire, and there was mulled wine, apple cider, and hot cocoa with those amazing homemade marshmallows. Rhonda had brought two trays out, one with local charcuterie and crackers, local jams and honey and a small dish of pickles, and another tray of sweets—brownies, decorated sugar cookies, maple candy and peppermint bark. They had all found ornaments to fit the theme, along with what Rhonda already had, and everyone was excited to see what the others had picked out.

It was the perfect family holiday evening, and Margo was happy that she was there for it, but she couldn't entirely relax and enjoy herself, because she couldn't stop thinking about what she'd said to Spencer earlier.

The worst part of it was that he'd been right. She had been avoiding him, and for the worst reasons, because she hadn't wanted to come right out and say that she wanted to call things off. She hadn't been sure that she did. He was perfect in so many ways. He was handsome, and successful, and smart, funny and kind and romantic, everything she would have said she wanted out of a partner, if she was really looking for one. And right up until she'd run into Chris, she'd been giving serious thought to at least giving it a small chance.

He was right too, that what they had together should be more important than a heartbreak from so long ago. But it still felt so fresh, and she couldn't help but blame this place, Evergreen Hollow, that never changed and made everything that happened here feel like it never faded or went away either. All the bad was frozen in time along with the good, and she didn't know how to shake that feeling.

But if that was really how she felt, that she couldn't stay and that she didn't want to keep pursuing anything in the meantime, Spencer was right that he deserved to know that. She should have felt relieved that it was all said and done, that she could enjoy what little remained of her holidays with her family and then move on, back to the life that she was meant to be living.

She couldn't stop seeing the expression on his face when she'd said that she needed her career most of all though. He'd looked so hurt. He'd looked hurt throughout all of it, as if he didn't even recognize her. She felt like she'd disappointed him, and in a way, she felt like she'd disappointed herself too, for letting everything get to her so strongly that it upended the happiness she had found while she was home.

All of that, swirling around in her thoughts, made it hard to focus on the festivities.

"Look what I found!" Nora came downstairs, lugging another box, and Aiden quickly crossed the room to take it from her. "It's all those ornaments you sent us over the years, Margo, from all those different countries. There are almost certainly some things in here that fit the theme. Like this one!" She dangled a small ceramic strudel ornament from one finger, on a piece of red silk ribbon.

"Ooh, I want to see!" Jay exclaimed, making a beeline for the box. "These are all from other countries, Aunt Margo? That you went to yourself ? That's so exciting!"

Margo laughed as he plopped down next to the box, walking over to sort through them along with the rest of the family that was gathering around. She'd forgotten a lot of what she'd sent over the years, so she was curious to see too.

"They are," she answered Jay, dropping down to the floor next to him. "I picked them all out myself. But I've been to so many different places, I need a refresher on what's in here too."

"Have you ever seen any places with fossils?" Jay asked, and Margo heard Caroline laugh as Rhett let out a groan. Jay's dinosaur and fossil obsession wasn't showing any signs of letting up anytime soon.

"Well…" Margo let out a slow breath. "One of the places I was possibly going to go before I came here was somewhere where a lot of fossils have been found. I was going to go explore it, and take a lot of pictures so that other people could see it too, and write an article so that they could read about it."

Jay frowned. "Why didn't you go? That sounds really cool."

"It would have been," Margo agreed. "But my job couldn't keep me, so I didn't get to go."

"That's a bummer," Jay said, picking up a small nutcracker out of the box. "But if you'd gone there, Aunt Margo, we wouldn't have gotten to see you for Christmas." His eyes widened, as if he were realizing something in that moment. "I might not have gotten to meet you at all . Caroline said you hadn't been back home in years ."

She felt her heart twist at that. "You're right," she said quietly. "I hadn't been back in a very long time. So it's probably good that I was able to come back when I did."

"What's this one?" Jay pulled out a blown glass orange.

"That one is from Spain. It was handmade by an artisan who spent years learning how to blow glass. It's very fragile." She took it gently from him, handing it to Rhonda. "And this one…" Margo pulled out a knitted sheep. "This one is from when I was in the Alps."

"It's soft!" Jay squeezed it, before Caroline laughingly plucked it out of his hand. "And this?" He picked up a miniature beer stein.

"That's another one from Germany. I've been there a couple of times. And this one is from Japan." Margo plucked out a ceramic origami crane.

"Ooh, look at this one!" Jay took out a delicately crafted, old-fashioned replica of a tiny Mini Cooper. "This is so cool!"

"I got that in Italy. It was actually really funny, because I'd almost gotten into a wreck with one right before I went into that shop. It was like something out of a movie. My taxi was in traffic, and we started pulling forward, and he had to dodge this guy on a Vespa. And then this blue Mini Cooper came careening around the corner." Margo dodged to one side, knocking her shoulder into Jay's as he gasped and laughed. "It was going so fast. Just driving crazy. The taxi driver managed to swerve, and it went around us, like it was chasing the Vespa. I still have no idea what was going on with that?—"

She broke off as she saw Nora suddenly drop the ornament she was holding back into the box, turning sharply on her heel and walking quickly toward the kitchen.

"Keep going through these, okay?" Margo said to Jay, pushing herself up off the floor and following Nora. She heard the sound of sniffling as soon as she got near the kitchen, and she walked in to see Nora wiping a sleeve over her eyes as she half-heartedly plated more cookies.

"Hey. What's going on?" Margo asked gently, walking up next to her sister. "I know I've been gone a long time, but?—"

"It's not that." Nora gave her a watery smile, wiping a sleeve over her eyes again. "It's just… hearing those stories scares me, you know? Aiden told me I shouldn't worry so much about the future, but it's so hard."

"What scares you?" Margo turned, leaning back against the counter as she looked at Nora.

"Just that once my baby is born, I won't be able to protect her from the world." Nora sniffed again, picking at one of the cookies, crumbling it onto a napkin as she spoke as if she needed something to do with her hands. "I can't help thinking that she's going to grow up and want to leave like we did, and go out into the world. And what if she wants to go to places like all of these crazy cities you've been to? It's wonderful and exciting, I know, but it's also so dangerous!"

She broke off, her eyes welling up again, and Margo gave her a reassuring smile.

"It's just a sign that you're going to be a good mother, that you're worrying about it," she said gently. "But you'll protect her the best that you can, and you'll raise her to be smart and careful, and you'll be the best mother. But one day you'll have to let her spread her wings, just like we did, and she'll have to make some mistakes. And I'm sure that's really hard to watch. It was probably hard for our mom, and it'll be hard for Caroline when Jay gets older, and it'll be hard for you too. But she'll get really good, valuable life experience out of it."

"Is that how you feel?" Nora asked curiously. "Has all of that made a difference for you?"

"I mean, you moved to Boston. I'm sure you know how it feels too." Margo gave her a lopsided smile. "But I made mistakes along the way. I grew a lot as a person from traveling so much, I think. I definitely don't regret any of it. I learned so much about myself, and others. But?—"

Margo hesitated for a moment, drumming her fingers against the edge of the counter before she continued.

"Staying so distant from everyone because of my hurt over Chris was a mistake. I regret that now. I could have been in contact more, come home more." She let out a long breath. "And how things ended with Spencer was another mistake, I think."

"Ended?" Nora stared at her. "What do you mean?"

"I told you about running into Chris." Margo tapped her fingers against the edge of the counter again. "Spencer was texting me, trying to set up another date, and I made excuses not to go. And then I just ignored him. I didn't want to break it off, because I like him, but I was scared. He saw me today at the site for the fundraiser, and he came over to talk to me. He was pretty upset, which was understandable."

"And you didn't patch things up?" Nora's eyes were round.

"No." Margo bit her lip. "I told him about seeing Chris. That this town felt too small and constricting after that. And that I needed my career. I basically said all of that was more important and that I would be leaving as soon as I could, without coming right out and saying exactly that." She winced. "He was upset, I could tell. I walked away, and he hasn't texted since. Which I don't blame him for, since I basically told him it was over and that I was leaving."

"Do you want it to be over?" Nora questioned, her worry about her daughter's future career choices clearly evaporating in the face of Margo's much more immediate difficulties with her love life. "Did you mean any of that?"

Margo shook her head. "I mean, small-town life did feel suffocating sometimes when I was younger. And seeing Chris really hurt. I don't know what I'm going to do if I'm not a photojournalist anymore. But I really, really wish I'd said it in a different way, and that we were still talking or trying to see where things between us might go. I wish I'd done it all differently, to be honest."

"Go talk to him," Nora urged.

Margo's eyes widened. "What, right now?"

"Yes, right now. Go over to his house and talk to him."

"Just show up?" Margo shook her head. "I can't do that."

Nora put her hands on her hips. "He got a sleigh and horses to take you to a fireworks show. You can show up at his house. Just go , before it's too late and you've let him get away. You don't want that, do you?"

Margo shook her head. "I don't. But we're decorating the tree, and?—"

"They'll understand. Mom will definitely understand. Just go find him, sis."

Margo knew her sister was right, and she couldn't argue. The longer she waited, the more settled it would be, making it harder for her to fix things. She needed to talk it out with Spencer, if only so that it wouldn't end like that. He deserved better, that was for sure. They both did.

"Aiden or Rhett can drive you—" Nora started to say, but with the decision made, Margo suddenly felt that she couldn't get there fast enough.

She couldn't wait for someone else to bundle up and pull a truck around and all of the explanations that would follow that.

She needed to talk to Spencer as soon as possible.

"No, that's okay," she said quickly. "I'll get there on my own."

Without wasting another second, she grabbed her crutches and headed for the back door.