Chapter Twelve

Alex

I wasn’t surprised he gaped at me. Where had that come from? I’d been analysing my behaviour all the way to mine and I wasn’t sure what was going on either. I could count the times I’d woken up with a man in my life on the fingers of one hand and those times had always ended in an embarrassing slink away for one or both parties. I didn’t spend the night with people. Nobody had ever cared enough to ask me to stay before. Now I’d woken up in a man’s arms on Christmas Day. A man who hadn’t crept away in the night. A man who still looked at me with fondness in his eyes after the event rather than regret, and it confused me.

And then there was what he had confessed to me. A rape. An actual rape. And despite this secret that still weighed so heavily on him, he’d taken me to bed and showed me the time of my life. Nobody had ever made me come that way before. Nobody had ever wanted to. But the secret now pressed down on me because I shared it. I told myself while I stood in his shower letting the water rain down on my aching body that I couldn’t take on someone who had been through such trauma. I couldn’t hold us both up when some days my own head was hardly above water. Nor did I want to. I was too selfish. I told myself as I sat silently beside him that the real reason was because I wasn’t man enough. And he knew that. And I had hurt him. I had pretended last night meant nothing to me this morning and he didn’t like it. Nor did I. He wasn’t a man I could walk away from. I didn’t want to walk away from him. It was Christmas and it was his birthday and this wonderful man who I had had the best night of my life with was alone. I couldn’t countenance that. What sort of human being would I be if I did? A miserable excuse for one. I needed to step up. And I would.

Hence the offer.

I smiled at him and jerked my head towards my building. “Come on.” I turned and walked away. I hoped he would follow.

He did. I heard his door open and close and his footsteps on the pavement as he followed me to the front door, which I opened with my key. He followed me inside and closed the door, trailing up the stairs after me to flat two. I tried to remember if I had left any dirty pants lying around on the floor or if there was a pile of washing up mouldering in the sink. I hoped not. He would have a shock at how I lived compared to his palatial gaff.

I wiggled the key for a few seconds before I let myself in and held open the door for him. “You need to slam it,” I said. “Something wrong with it.”

While I kicked off my shoes in the hall and hung up my coat, he was pulling the door back and forth, examining the hinges. “Have you got a screwdriver and some WD40?”

I glanced at him with a smile as a burst of warmth hit my stomach. It didn’t take much to turn me mushy. An offer to do DIY and I was putty in a man’s hands. “Stop it, you’re turning me on.”

He grinned. “Get your toolbox out.”

“Best offer I’ve had all day.” I went to root in the little cupboard thing that should have probably been referred to as a pantry but instead held the vacuum and floor steamer and miscellaneous crap. Locating the box, I put it on the kitchen table and opened it. “Choose your weapon.” I went back in the cupboard for the can of WD40.

I watched him as he fixed my door. He glanced at me. “Do you really want me to come all the way to Devon with you?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you think you should at least ask permission?”

“I suppose so.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and started to text.

“You’re texting your mum and telling her you’re bringing a strange man home with you? A strange man twenty years older than you.”

“Nineteen,” I said. “Eighteen next month.”

“Well, that makes all the difference.” He swung the door back and forth and I admired the lack of stiffness and squeak as I texted.

Can I bring a plus one today?

My mum texted straight back. Of course, darling! Is it a man?

Yes . My finger hovered. A rich, fit, silver fox . I deleted that bit and sent the yes .

Wonderful. See you soon! Xx

I smiled. “She said yes.”

He looked pensive. “She did?”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t tell her how old I was, did you?”

“No. Nor did I tell her how good looking you are. She might faint when she sees you. She has a thing for tall, dark men in suits.”

He smiled but looked unsure.

“Do you want a coffee seeing as you had to leave yours behind? What’s the deal with the no cup holders in the Lambo?”

“Yes, please,” he said and closed the door, following me into the kitchen. “And I know. Where are we going to put our refreshments on the way to Devon?”

I glanced at him. “You want to drive the Lamborghini to Devon?”

He shrugged. “Why not? Let’s see what it can do.”

“Are you sure?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s a five-hour drive.”

“Good. I can get to know you.”

Once more, I felt warm inside. I filled the kettle and put it on to boil. With embarrassment I took the instant coffee from the cupboard. “Sorry,” I said. “Aldi’s own.”

He shrugged. “I’m not a coffee snob. Or a supermarket snob. I just need something to wake me up.”

Our eyes met and I bit my lip before I offered to do just that or we’d never get there. I poured him a mug and his eyes lit up when I pulled a carton of oat milk from the fridge.

“Ah,” he said. “I knew you were the man for me.”

I blushed and my heart soared. Then I remembered. “Oh shit.” I pulled out my phone and texted quickly.

He’s vegan.

Now you tell me , my mum replied straight away.

I shoved my phone away. “Just letting her know about your dietary requirements.”

He smiled cynically. “Why do you think I’m staying at home? Because if I went anywhere today, I’d end up with a plate of parsnips and carrots. And fucking sprouts. The only vegetables I hate.”

I knew that wasn’t why he was staying at home at all, but I didn’t say anything. We could save that for our five-hour chat. “My mum’s an amazing cook,” I said. “I promise that won’t be all you’ll end up with.”

“I don’t want to put her out,” he said, looking anxious.

“Relax. I’m going to get changed. Have a seat in here.” I gestured to the lounge and went to my bedroom. I’d already hung my best shirt and suit out on the front of my wardrobe. I pushed the door up before I stripped. I wondered at trying to preserve my modesty when he had seen everything last night and had put several bits of his body inside me. I burned hot when I thought about it and my cock stiffened in record time. I crammed it into my trousers and zipped up. I knotted my tie and pulled my jacket on before checking myself out in the mirror. I was done up like a dog’s dinner. I hope he liked it. I worked some styling paste through my hair, playing with it, giving it the bed head look I liked before I splashed on some aftershave and went back out to the lounge. He was sitting looking at his phone while drinking his coffee. He stared at me with the cup poised at his lips as I approached.

“What?” I asked self-consciously.

“You,” he said. “You’re divine.”

I blushed. “Stop it.”

“I mean it.”

I smiled with flames licking around my heart.

As we hadn’t had any breakfast, I grabbed some crisps, fruit, and a couple of cereal bars and shoved them in a bag along with some bottles of flavoured water. We both had a toilet break and then we loaded up the car. I had Christmas presents for my parents and an overnight bag as I had been intending to stay over, but I would have to play it by ear with my guest. I had no doubt my mum would be happy for him to stay but if he didn’t want to, we could always drive back later. I had put extra socks and two pairs of the new underwear into my bag in case he wanted to share. And yes, the underwear did have his name in the back. I got a major thrill from wearing it.

My bag went in the tiniest boot I had ever seen along with some presents. Of course it was at the front of the car not the back. The rest had to go down by my feet and I had to remember not to crush them when stretching out.

We clicked our seat belts on. He gestured to the central screen. “Put the postcode in.”

I tapped the letters and numbers in and pressed go and a female voice told us to turn left in ninety yards. He started the engine and plugged his phone in, dropping it into the little holder below. Then he fiddled with the heat settings and checked his mirrors before setting off. I looked at his hands on the wheel. I looked at the dark blue orb of the iris I could see in profile, the long lashes framing his eye, his strong, chiselled jaw and sensual lips. I travelled my gaze down the perfectly fitted black suit he wore to his muscled thighs and the way they flexed when he shifted gear. I let out a laugh.

He darted a glance at me. “What?”

I scowled at the sat nav as it interrupted me with a direction and shook my head. “Nothing. Just thinking that when I came to work last night, I didn’t think that twelve hours later I’d be being driven to my parents’ by the fittest man I’ve ever met. In a Lamborghini.”

Nor did I think that I would be fucked to within an inch of my life by him last night and I could have been again this morning if I hadn’t been such an uptight twat , I added silently.

He smiled. He turned another corner and headed down the main road. The speed limit changed to fifty and he eased his foot down on the accelerator. The car purred smoothly below us. We were cocooned in silence.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

He glanced at me again before indicating to overtake a Skoda crawling along on the inside. “What for?”

Turn left , said the sat nav and I huffed before I said, “Being a twat this morning.”

He licked his lips. “I didn’t think you were a twat.”

“You did.”

“I didn’t. It was a bonus that you were still there.”

I sighed. “I felt… embarrassed.” He was silent. I felt the need to go on. “I don’t usually do this. With strange men. It’s been a while. And…my God, I had such a good time. I’m embarrassed by how much of a good time I had and letting you know what a good time I was having.”

“I understand,” he said with his gaze on the road.

“Do you?”

At the roundabout, take the third exit , said the sat nav and he reached out to lower the volume. I felt like jabbing the bloody thing off, but then we might get lost before we reached the motorway. He might have been an even worse navigator than me. Which I doubted. He had taken every turn as though he knew these streets and not once glanced at the route on screen.

“Yes. Although I thought maybe it was something to do with what I told you last night.”

I swallowed. I shook my head and I knew he saw it from the corner of his eye although he didn’t look at me. Step up , I reminded myself. Fucking step up . “I was shocked,” I said in a low voice. “And heart broken. Doesn’t mean I want to walk away.”

To my surprise, he indicated and pulled over to stop at the kerb outside a row of shops. He pulled on the handbrake and turned in his seat, reaching over to cup my cheek. “Are you sure about that?”

I gulped at the intimacy. I remembered what we had done last night and my body heated. I wished I could swing my leg across the gap between us and straddle his lap. I nodded. “I’m sure.” Because I was.

He searched my eyes as though reading the truth and my heart stuttered when he leaned closer and brushed his lips over mine. My eyes fluttered closed and I drowned in him. The scent of his aftershave and hair gel, the softness of his mouth. Fuck, I never wanted to come out alive.

He drew back. “Let’s switch places before we get to the motorway,” he said, unclipping his seatbelt.

I stared at him. “What?”

He smiled. “I thought maybe you’d like to drive part of the way.”

Still I gaped at him, unable believe my ears.

“What?” he said.

“Am I insured to drive it?”

“Yes. Everyone’s insured.” He looked at me with amusement. “You’ve got a license, haven’t you? Weren’t you intending to drive there yourself today?”

“Y-yes,” I stuttered. We’d been parked behind my old banger at the flat. I’d had no intention of letting him know it was mine.

“How long have you had your license?”

“Seven years.”

“Good. Ever written off a supercar while driving to Devon?”

“Yeah, every week. That’s why my insurance is sky high.”

“Perfect. Out you get.”

I swung open the door on legs suddenly not quite steady. We met at the back of the car. He reached for my hand, squeezing my fingers briefly before he let go. I slid into the driver’s seat and shifted a bit closer to the wheel. I clicked on my seatbelt and fussed with the mirrors, aware of him watching me.

“All right?” He put a hand on my knee.

His touch scorched me. I still wanted to climb on his lap so badly. “You’re crazy letting me do this.”

He shrugged. “It’s not my car.”

I laughed. “So it’s okay if I wreck it?”

“As long as you don’t kill us. Limit yourself to ninety and don’t get us pulled over or we’ll be late for dinner.” He settled back in his seat.

I couldn’t believe how blasé he was. He really was relaxed to the point of horizontal and didn’t sweat the small stuff. I could learn so much from his outlook on life.