Chapter 5

G ood things never lasted in my life, whether it was my one-on-one time with Jonah (without Royce) or the lovely peace of my small apartment above my uncle’s garage, or the peace of knowing exactly how each day would go. That was all I ever wanted, pretty much, so when I woke up on that small bed, in the semi-dark, with only the low flicker of a fire in the other room to light it, it took me a minute to realize where I was. My night of passion with Alex was over.

I was at the Whispering Pines Lodge, sharing a room with only one bed with a man named Alex. A rich man with a recent bad breakup, and a family he was trying to join for Christmas. That man was sitting on the edge of the bed with only a brief curl of cloth around his hips.

He was shivering—he made the bed quiver slightly—and I think he was crying and trying to keep it quiet.

Just about instantly I went from enjoying a secret interlude in a snug cabin on a winter’s night to standing on the edge of someone else’s life. Alex might not have minded using me as his rebound guy, and I certainly hadn’t minded being used, but now he was sad, and that put a huge damper on my having any fun.

But that was old me. New me couldn’t lounge idly by and watch Alex be sad, as if it didn’t have anything to do with me. So I sat up, and pulled the sheet over his shoulders, and grabbed a hunk of blanket and wrapped it around him, as well.

In that low glow, he blinked at me as if surprised. Maybe he was surprised to find me awake and aware, or maybe he’d even forgotten my existence. All I knew was that he lifted the blanket and used his arm to drape both his arm and the blanket around my shoulders. I shivered as I grew a tad warmer, and sighed as I enjoyed that small, small moment of being that close to another human being.

“You okay?” I asked, though I knew his problems as well as if he’d said them out loud.

“Christmas Eve is tomorrow,” he said.

“They might have the road open,” I said, not knowing whether this was true. “And Steamboat’s only an hour from here.”

“That’s right,” he said, ducking his head, like he was trying to find his toes in the half dark. “Which makes it worse somehow. Hell, I could walk there.”

“Not in those shoes, you can’t,” I said, not hiding that I was laughing at him. “And you’d never fit in my boots.” I was a size ten and a half at best, and he was a twelve.

“Doc Martens, right?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said, half yawning as I nuzzled his warm shoulder. “They’re new. My other ones bit the dust and so Royce and Jonah ordered a pair all the way from Wollaston. And it wasn’t even my birthday.”

“And they are?—?”

He left the question dangling, and I really didn’t want to answer and tell them who they were. That would open a whole can of worms, and while I didn’t mind being totally naked in front of a guy, I really didn’t know how to explain how I hated being a third wheel, but found it nice, sometimes, to be included in Jonah and Royce’s world.

“Wollaston is where they’re made,” I said, ignoring his real question. “Somewhere outside of Northampton. In the original factory or whatever.”

I shrugged and whether it was to dislodge the question or his arm, I really couldn’t say. But I chickened out and turned away when he reached for my face and finally had to lunge out of the bed.

A low growl came from my throat, like I was a wolf in the darkness, but he wasn’t afraid, because he got up, the bedsheet around his shoulders like a cape, and followed me into the living room.

Sad, sad me, with nobody to call my own at Christmas.

“Are you going to sit on the couch buck naked like that?” he asked.

“The cum has dried,” I said, flecking a bit of it from my bare thigh, because, yeah, that’s what I’d been planning to do. Sit there with my legs sprawled like some cave man drawing the last bit of light and warmth from the fire.

“Let’s take a shower and go back to bed.”

I turned to look at him. He was all aglow from the light from the fire, and maybe a bit of the light from the clock on the microwave was dancing blue lights in his hair, but he looked pretty strange. Ethereal, Royce would have said.

“It’s obvious,” he said. “I’m not oblivious. You’re all alone up here.”

“You don’t know that,” I said. I pushed my hair back from my face, suddenly hot. Not because I was standing naked with my back to the still glowing fire, but because he was looking at him. Up and down, trying to figure me out.

“Then tell me who they are, these men who got you boots all the way from England.”

If I was a caveman, he was a saber-toothed tiger on the prowl. Inch by inch, coming closer so carefully, it was like he meant to attack and then devour.

“I’m not sitting on the couch,” I said, holding my hands up as if ten fingers and two palms face out could stop him.

They didn’t. He came up to me and wrapped me in his arms, the bedsheet curling around my shoulders and ankles like bits of friendly cotton ribbon. Then he nuzzled my nose and kissed my cheek and sighed, his smile low and soft.

“Let’s take a shower and go back to bed,” he said, almost whispering.

I love to be loved. I love to be nuzzled and kissed and treated like I’m made of bone china. That’s my big secret.

On the streets, back in Five Points, in Denver, I kicked ass and took down names. I was a whirlwind of trouble and high energy. I wasn’t afraid of anything or anyone. But this, the way he was treating me, was my weakness. It was like he’d figured it out without me saying a single word.

“C’mon,” he said, gently with another kiss, this time very softly on my mouth. “Please?”

I was a sucker for sweetness. Jonah knew, but that was because he knew me. Royce knew, probably because Jonah had told him. But Alex? He’d figured it out, all on his own, inside of a handful of hours.

“Okay,” I said, and let him lead me back into the small bedroom. There, he paused.

“Go start the shower, and I’ll make the bed.”

“Okay.” Yeah, I could be had, not for a pocket of money (and I love money) but for a kind gesture, a sweet kiss, a kind word. A hot shower and a freshly made bed, both to share with a handsome man.

I went to the bathroom. The shower was a decent size, one of those made of all one piece, rather than lined with fancy tile or anything.

I slid the shower door back, turn on the water to hot, and saw that there was a dispenser with soap, shampoo, and cream rinse. On a little rack above the toilet were plenty of white towels and washcloths. The bathroom mirror was already steamed up by the time I took those towels down and put them on the toilet for easy reach.

And then came Alex, marching into the steamy bathroom, naked from head to toe, dick and balls hanging out with absolutely no shame, his head held high, his hair rumpled artfully like a Roman god. Inside of a second, he was dappled with moisture from the steam.

“Hot enough for you?” he said in a joking way.

“You said hot shower,” I responded, shoving his smile. “So hot it is.”

We showered together, naked beneath the pounding spray of the shower, steam rolling all over the place. The soap smelled a bit like flowers and honey, and was silky in my fingers as I spread it all over Alex, everywhere I could reach. I made sure his balls were extra special clean, rolled them around in my fingers until Alex was moaning and not really trying to get away.

“We’re supposed to be getting clean,” he said.

“Your rules, not mine,” I said, laughing at him. “Don’t worry about it. Everything will rinse away.”

We lathered and rinsed and there was a good bit of fondling and jacking off, and yeah, the hot water and soap rinsed everything down the drain.

Beneath my hands, his hair was like dense silk, and I had to go on my toes to make sure it was all rinsed out. He washed my hair, too, and did that make me purr like a kitten? Yeah, it did.

By the time we were done (the hot water seemed endless), I felt boneless, done in, barely able to hold myself up. We turned off the water, and I was ready to flounce back to bed, but he held me and dried me off, every bit of me, speckling me with quick kisses. Then he let me go and followed me into the bedroom, making sure of me, I guess.

We pulled back the bedclothes and sat naked together on the bed, and I realized we were facing a window. That, through the steam that had condensed on the glass, there were lights outside.

“Stars?” I asked. I wasn’t sure.

He opened the window and gasped as fresh, cold air rushed into the room. That was when I heard singing. A group of people, somewhere in the dark, singing Christmas carols, soft and low.

“I think there’s a fire pit somewhere. I saw it on the map,” he said. “Should we get dressed and join them?”

I shuddered and shook my head. Not only did I not want to get dressed and go out into the cold night, I didn’t want to stand along the edges of someone else’s happiness. Nothing made me sadder, and the group of people singing surely didn’t want Bad Boy Beck to ruin their Christmas joy. Besides, staying in with a naked Alex sound like the better time to me.

“Too tired,” I said, half mumbling.

What I wanted was to get into the freshly made bed and shove myself into Alex’s arms and fall asleep that way. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and I really didn’t care. All I wanted was what I had, right then.

“Let’s sleep, then,” he said, and as if he’d read my mind, he leaned back, pulling me with him, and there we were together on the fluffy pillow, sharing it, our noses almost touching.

Alex pulled the sheet and blanket over us, and found my toes with his, and kissed me and then laughed as I yawned into his kiss.

“Tired,” I said.

That’s when Alex cuddled me, like I was quite small and perhaps very young and in need of protection.

I would have gotten more excited about this, my cock getting quite hard, if I wasn’t super worn out. From the long drive that day, the excitement of rescuing Alex, and the lovemaking.

And now this. Christmas Cuddles. Better than anything, because it was just him and me, skin to skin, warm from the shower, relaxed and in bed where nothing could get at us.

“That’s how to tame you, then,” said Alex.

“Tame me?” I mumbled, a little confused.

“Strike that,” said Alex. “You don’t need taming. You just need sweetness.”

He’d discovered my secrets. In spite of his city coat and his city shoes, and the silver spoon he’d obliviously been born with, he’d figured out that I could be HAD, body and soul, with a few kisses and kind touches. And, like an alleycat that knows it can trust, I fell asleep so hard, I didn’t remember that I nuzzled into his neck and fell asleep instantly.