Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Holy Night

HOLLY

My life had gone to hell in a handbasket. The confident, driven woman I was two weeks ago, before all of this, was gone. The woman left behind was a confused, sullen mess. I needed to get my shit together. Everything had changed after I'd been attacked by the Baskin brothers, but it wasn't just them. It was Bruno. All of this back and forth, the fighting, the fucking, the trying to keep things to just sex, with no strings, was all a big fat lie. I'd fallen in love with the asshole, and it was destroying my life.

For thirty years I'd done my thing. Hooked up with men when I needed. Went on dates if I felt lonely, but not a single man stuck. There wasn't another man I wanted to be connected to every single day of my life…until now. And he didn't do traditional. Before meeting him, I wouldn't have thought I did the traditional relationship either, but somehow, he'd wormed his way under my skin and became a part of me that I didn't want to live without.

Now, I needed to break it off with him.

I was working up the courage to end things when we got off the elevator on the floor where The Marriage Auction was headquartered.

Not being able to hold off a second longer I reached for his wrist and tugged him to a quiet corner. He turned around and tilted his head, his brow furrowing.

"You're finally going to speak to me?" he asked.

We'd just spent the last few hours in complete silence. After we both took a shower, individually I might add, back in LA, we'd boarded Colin's jet and came straight here as requested. I'd been entirely lost within my own thoughts, but now, I had something to say.

"Before we go in there, I just need to tell you…regardless of everything that happened, I don't regret you or what we shared. I've learned a lot about myself. Sexually, emotionally, and mentally. You've been a safe space for me, and I thank you for that."

"Holly, I'm sorry. For everything bad that's happened to you. I promised I'd make it right with Alana and I will," he pushed.

I shook my head. "That's just it. I don't need you to fight my battles for me, Bruno. I will discuss the situation regarding my inclusion in the auction with her privately. I'd encourage you to do the same regarding your security contract."

"I don't give a shit about the contract. The money she's paying me is a pittance to what I normally bring in for a month of work. I was originally doing it as a favor to my cousin, Joel."

I shrugged. "Well, there you go. Now you can leave free and clear. Go back to your big-money, dangerous deals and leave all of this behind."

He frowned. "What are you saying, Holly? Are you breaking it off with me?"

"Am I ending our nonexistent relationship?" I gave a half-hearted chuckle even though the truth was eating me alive.

I wanted more than what we had, far more, but he made it clear he wasn't the type of guy who made any long-term commitments. Long distance I could do with a partner. I didn't need a man at my beck and call, or even in my world every single day. I still had my dream of opening my own bar and hiring my family to help run it. That hadn't changed. How I'd get there may ultimately change, depending on what Alana said after the meeting. But I'd made it clear that I wasn't the type of woman to tie a man down. I'd even shared a fantasy with Bruno of my man coming home from a long trip away and shagging me in my pretend dream office. He obviously didn't see himself in that role, so what was a woman in my position to do?

Bruno hadn't said a single word that would lead me to believe he wanted a forever type of love or any kind of love at all. I wasn't sure he even knew how to give that part of himself. I'd seen glimpses of it, when he was taking care of me, or helping me down from that panic attack, but was that love? It felt close, but we both had the contract looming to fall back on. Not to mention the knowledge that it would all end at some point. Sure, he'd said he didn't want to watch me marry someone else, but he didn't offer to be that man either.

"I wouldn't say what we have is nonexistent," he responded. "I can very clearly remember pounding you against the shower, the bed, the…"

I held up my hand to stop him. "Please, don't remind me."

He reached out and took my hand. "Holly, come on. This is ridiculous. We know what we have."

"Correction, had. We know what we had , Bruno. It's all gone up in flames. Actually, my life has all gone up in flames. Nothing in yours has changed at all. I need to reassess and figure out how I'm going to put the pieces all back together."

"And what about us?"

"What about us? You don't do traditional relationships and I'm about to go in there and beg Alana not to let me go. I let this thing between us get out of hand. Took my eyes off the prize, which was stupid. So stupid of me."

"Now you're saying what we had was stupid? And you're ready to throw it all away and put your hat back into the marriage auction ring just like that." His expression was filled with shock, something I didn't expect.

I stepped closer and placed my hands on his chest. "What we had was magical, intense, and brutally honest. It was also wildly inappropriate under the circumstances. And yet, I don't regret it. As a matter of fact, I love what we shared, got completely lost in it, and even fell in love with you in the process. But we're at the point where we both need to do what's best for ourselves."

"You're telling me you're in love with me, but you're going to marry someone else." His voice was like sandpaper over rock. Wounded and scarred raw.

"That's exactly what I'm telling you." I cupped his cheeks, lifted up onto my toes, and placed my mouth over his. I'd planned it to be a sweet goodbye kiss, but he took it to a whole new level.

His tongue plunged into my mouth, and he devoured me whole. I gave back all that I could, sucking at his tongue, nipping at his bottom lip, then kissing it better. His hands ran along my frame as though he owned me, and I allowed it…this one final time. As we kissed, I imprinted the memory of his lips against mine, the minty flavor of his breath, the heated growl he gave as he swallowed my whimpers. I never wanted to forget being desired this much and wanting the same in return.

We finally pulled away, both of us panting.

"Even after that, you're going to walk in there and ask her to keep you in the auction?" he growled, fury and disappointment flooding his features.

"Are you offering me something different?" I looked at him with all the hope and love filling my heart. All he had to do was reach for it and take hold and never let go.

"I-I told you I'd give you the money." Fire laced through my gut and must have shown on my face because he instantly corrected his statement. "I meant loan you the money."

I closed my eyes and shook my head. He didn't get it and he never would. "It's not about the money anymore, Bruno. And the fact that you think it is, is the real problem. I'll find a way to make my dreams come true if the auction thing is no longer on the table. I'm a strong, independent, intelligent woman. I'm fully capable of pivoting and changing direction. What I'm not capable of is being in a physical relationship with you, without more."

"What more do you want?" he pleaded, his voice strained.

"Strings. Attachment. A real relationship. One filled with love, support, and commitment."

"I don't even know what that means or what something like that would look like," he admitted, his shoulders falling in defeat. "It's not in my nature…"

I gave him a weak smile. "And that's why this thing between us needs to end here." I patted his chest and looked deeply into his eyes. "I love you, Bruno. You deserve happiness. True happiness. I hope you find it someday."

And with tears in my eyes, I left him standing there as I approached Jade, Alana's assistant. "I believe Alana wants to see me," I swallowed down the heartache, lifted my chin, and reset my intention.

"Right this way," Jade stood and gestured to the set of double doors down the hall.

I glanced over my shoulder to find Bruno still there, his tortured gaze on me. "Goodbye, Bruno." I said and then followed Jade.

* * * *

"First and foremost, chérie , are you okay?" Alana winced as she looked at the black, blue, and green, bruise on my forehead. Most of the swelling had gone down but it did look pretty ugly.

I moved to touch it, then remembered how tender it was. "I'll be fine. I'm not going to lie; it was pretty scary. I can't imagine how anyone could live like that day after day. Did um, Colin have anything to share about it?"

"He did." Alana said without a hint of what was said between them.

"I see. Does this mean I'm out of the auction?" Guilt and shame ate at my insides and my palms became clammy, ready for Alana to bring down the gauntlet.

Alana put her elbows to her desk, interlaced her fingers, and rested her chin on top of them. I waited for the bomb to drop.

"Why would you think I'm removing you from the auction? Does this have to do with Mr. Castellanos being fired? His egregious error in protecting you doesn't reflect on your status within my company."

"I'm sorry…" my mouth fell open in shock. "Did Colin speak with you? About what happened?"

"Of course, chérie . He did so when he pulled himself out of the bidding pool. Claimed his lifestyle was too dangerous for one of my candidates. He said he needed someone who knew the business and pitfalls of being with a celebrity. I'm going to have another meeting with him in the coming weeks to suggest a private auction and ensure that I will line up clients that are aware of the pros and cons of marrying a man of his caliber and fame."

He didn't say anything about finding Bruno and me together in a compromising position.

"Colin is a saint," I gasped.

"Aw, that's sweet, darling. Are you disappointed he won't be bidding on you?" Her tone was concerned and completely unnecessary.

I shook my head. "Um, no. I'm just glad I'm still in the running."

Alana smiled. "Me too. I wanted to see you today to not only make sure you were truly okay, but to tell you that I've terminated our contract with Mr. Castellanos' firm. You will have a new bodyguard assigned for your next set of dates. If you are amenable, we'll start them back-to-back for the next couple weeks. I didn't want to say before, but many of my bidders chose you for a date prior to the auction."

"Wow," my heart sank while thoughts of Bruno twisted in my gut painfully. "That's…great. When can we start?" I sighed and plastered on my fakest smile.

"Tomorrow evening. Rest tonight and meet me in the lobby bar tomorrow at six p.m. I'll introduce you to your next bidder. If you need help covering that bruise, I can have our glam team see you at five."

I nodded. "Thank you, Alana. I won't let you down."

What I really wanted to say was, I won't let me down.

Now if my heart and my brain could work together, all would be well.