Chapter 3

3

M eg peered out the window of her family's home, sighing with relief when the carriage that had paused in front of their house began to rattle down the cobblestone street once more.

"I'm safe," she said, turning to smile at her friends who'd come to join her for tea.

Really, they'd come to cheer her up. But they were politely pretending that they'd all just happened to be in the neighborhood and had dropped by on a whim.

"Safe." Ann repeated the word with a soft laugh. "You make it sound so dire."

"It is, rather…" Meg sat on the settee beside Jane, Felicity pacing past them to look for herself out the window. "I'm beginning to feel as though I'm being hunted."

Felicity whirled around with a grin. "Hunted by the Duke! Why Jane, that sounds like one of those dreadful romantic novels you're always reading."

Jane dipped her head with a blush, but she was laughing softly at Felicity's teasing.

"Perhaps I would like a romantic novel," Ann said, her gaze wistful. "I've never read one before."

Jane and Felicity shared a look, but it was Meg who shook her head. "I do not think you'd enjoy them, Ann. You're much too…"

"Pragmatic," Felicity finished.

Ann frowned. "I am not."

Felicity's brows shot up in surprise. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, Ann. I'm pragmatic as well, while Jane and Meg are more fanciful and romantic by nature. It's not a bad thing to be realistic."

"But I can be romantic as well," Ann protested.

Meg leaned over and patted her friend's knee. "Dear, you once compared the marriage mart to a horse auction, and claimed you'd rather be sold as a mare than a wife."

Ann pursed her lips as Felicity's head fell back with a loud laugh. "You did say that, Ann."

Ann frowned at her friend. "Yes, well…I was young then."

No one pointed out she'd made that remark only three months' prior.

Ann huffed. "Very well, perhaps I've r-recently had a…a ch-change of heart."

The stutter was minor, and for that Meg was exceptionally glad. It tended to worsen when she was agitated or the center of attention, but since they'd come to form their odd little wallflower friendship, Ann had grown ever more comfortable speaking around them.

Jane was studying Ann closely, and when she spoke her voice was earnest. "Does that mean you no longer see marriage as a tedious duty that must be borne like an illness?"

Felicity snickered and Meg pressed her lips together to hide a smile. She'd forgotten that Ann had said that as well.

"Oh, very well," Ann sighed. "Perhaps romance is not for me."

Meg's eyes narrowed on the redhead, her curiosity piqued. "Ann, have you developed feelings for someone or?—"

She stopped speaking abruptly at the sound of a commotion at the front door. She stiffened with fright.

Felicity darted over to the window, and called back quickly. "It's only your father."

Meg sank back into the settee with relief.

"Really, Meg," her younger brother Charlie's voice came from where he sat, tucked away on the window seat on the far side of the room, his tone far too condescending considering he was only nine years old. "Most young ladies would be overjoyed at the prospect of a visit from a Duke."

He'd been reading and she'd nearly forgotten he was there. Meg pointed toward the door. "To your room, Charlie."

He frowned. "You cannot send me to my room."

"Then to the library. My visitors and I would like some privacy."

And for just one hour to pass without having to discuss the dratted Duke. But, of course, even after Charlie ran off, the Duke still remained.

Jane's eyes were wide. "Did the Duke really call upon you at your home, Meg?"

Meg's smile was tight. "He did."

"And you…" Jane blinked a few times, as if dazed. "You told him you were not at home for visitors."

Meg's cheeks began to heat beneath their scrutiny. "I did not tell him anything. That would rather defeat the point." At their continued stare, she smoothed her skirts, and muttered, "But yes, I had the housekeeper inform him I was…not well."

And in her defense, she hadn't been. Oh, she was not ill, by any means, but if it was possible to die of mortification, then she'd been very close to death indeed.

Wasn't that the same as being on one's sickbed?

The logic seemed sound to her mind.

It was why she'd lied to her mother, saying she was unfit to attend the Garners' dinner party the other night.

Her mother hadn't believed her, if her look of pity was anything to go by. Even her father agreed that her presence would only stir up more gossip. Best to let the laughter die out , he'd said. Lord knows we don't need Meg causing any more damage to our good name.

She'd tried not to wince at the not-so-subtle reminder that she was once again a disappointment to them.

But in the end, they'd let her stay home from the ball.

Like a coward.

No, it wasn't cowardly to stay out of sight. It was sensible. Her chin came up, and she was fully ready to defend the cowardly move, but Jane was staring at her with nothing short of awe. Ann's smile was full of understanding. And not even brave Felicity seemed disdainful of her cowardice. Her dark, sharply arched brows were drawn together in thought. "You did well to avoid him, Meg."

Meg blinked. "I did?"

"Of course." Felicity's thoughtfulness morphed into anger in a heartbeat. "That callous cad should not be forgiven so easily for his crimes."

"His…c-crimes?" Ann might have stuttered, but Meg knew it wasn't because she was frightened of Felicity's ire. More like, amused by it.

Felicity's quick temper was endearing, especially when it was on one of their behalfs. Which…it typically was. As the least diffident member of their group, she'd cast herself as their protector at some point.

It was rather nice to have someone sticking up for them. Even if it was just to rail against good society from where they sat on the outskirts.

Jane's eyes were wide as she considered Felicity. "The Duke's…crimes?"

Meg burst out laughing. She couldn't help it. "I think perhaps ‘crimes' is taking it too far, Felicity."

Felicity let out a noise that sounded a bit like a harrumph as she crossed her arms and fell onto the settee beside Meg. "I'd always heard that the Carver men were pompous and cruel, but I'd thought?—"

"I did too," Ann hurried to say.

Jane nodded. "He always seems so…charming."

Meg's smile faded to a smirk. "He does, does he not?"

"But we've only ever seen him at a distance," Ann pointed out. Pragmatic as ever.

"That's true," Felicity said. "We were all duped by his good manners." To Meg, she added, "No one could blame you for not suspecting the worst."

They sat in silence for a moment, and Meg knew they were all back in the ballroom, replaying that horrid moment when His Grace had approached their table and asked her to dance.

"I'm sorry, Meg." Felicity muttered it so softly, Meg nearly missed it.

She turned to her friend, lips parted in surprise. "Pardon?"

"I'm sorry, too," Jane added.

Ann nodded quickly, her expression filled with regret. Meg stared at each one in turn. "Sorry…for what?"

Felicity rolled her eyes, which oddly helped to put Meg at ease. Her oldest friend had never been one to apologize for…well, for anything. So to hear her sound so regretful now made her wildly uneasy.

"For issuing that dare, of course," Felicity said.

Meg shifted on the seat so she could wrap an arm around her friend's shoulders and squeeze. "Do not apologize." She turned to the others. "Any of you."

"You're not angry with us for getting you into this mess?" Jane asked, her voice so soft it was nearly a whisper.

"Of course not!" Meg straightened. In the week since the ball, she'd given the matter much thought, and saying yes to the dare was really the only part of that evening she did not regret.

But all three of them were staring at her in disbelief, and…

Oh blast it all. She drew in a deep breath. "There are many things I wish I'd done differently…." She frowned. Like get her hopes up, for one. She should never have let herself lose sight of reality like that.

She turned her gaze to Jane. "Those romances that you enjoy. Why do you like them?"

Jane's cheeks turned the shade of an apple at the sudden attention. But she shrugged. "I do not know. I suppose…I suppose it's diverting to dream about romance and adventure…since I know I'll never have it myself."

Meg smiled. "Precisely!"

Felicity turned to face her, removing herself from Meg's half-embrace. "Precisely what ?"

Meg sighed. "I knew better than to hope for myself." She glanced down at her leg, the one that had been weakened during a sickness she suffered as a child and never developed the way the other leg had. "I know what people call me. I know that I'll never be some…some diamond of the first water…" She smiled brighter, refusing to grow maudlin over the mere fact of the matter. "The only regret I have about my own actions that night is losing sight of reality. Letting myself get carried away…"

She trailed off as Jane and Anne's gazes filled with a sympathy that made her throat tighten.

It was humiliating to admit it aloud.

"So you truly wanted to dance with him then?" Felicity asked.

Leave it to Felicity to ask the difficult questions.

Meg swallowed hard. "I did." Her smile felt watery as she gave a rueful shrug. "After all, he is The Duke of Carver ."

The others giggled a bit at the way she stressed his title.

She shrugged again, a gesture her mother would have chided her for if she were here. "Who hasn't had at least one daydream in which the beloved Duke takes notice and…"

She trailed off because for a moment her heart gave a wild flutter as if she were right back there in that moment, with the Duke smiling down at her, his eyes glittering with laughter that…

That truly hadn't seemed to be at her expense.

She shook her head, forcing herself back to the moment. He'd fooled her.

No. She'd fooled herself.

Either way…

"It's done now." She folded her hands in her lap. "But I refuse to feel sorry for saying yes." She turned to Felicity. "No matter what his intentions might have been, it felt good to finally…" She wet her lips, looking from friend to friend as she tried to put it into words. "Even if it only lasted for a moment, it was nice to feel…"

Wanted. Seen. Normal.

She settled on, "Brave."

Felicity's smile was sudden and bright. "Yes! You're right, Meg. His actions might have been wicked, but that doesn't change the fact that you were brilliant."

"You were brave, Meg." Jane's voice was quiet as ever, but the awe in her tone made Meg blush.

Ann nodded vigorously. "We all admire you tremendously. I'm not sure I could ever be so courageous."

"Don't be silly, Ann. You're always brave," Felicity said with a look of irritation. "Nearly every week you face your fears when you attend society functions."

Ann smiled at that. "I do, don't I?"

Meg laughed, along with Jane, but Meg's laughter faded under Felicity's meaningful stare.

Meg leaned back, away from her friend. "Felicity…why are you staring at me like that?"

"Because you're brave too, Meg." With an arched brow she added, "Typically."

Meg's cheeks grew warm as she shifted in her seat. "If this is about the Garners' dinner party…"

"No one blames you for not wanting to attend," Ann said quickly.

"No, indeed," Felicity added. She wrinkled her nose as she looked toward the window as if Carver's carriage might be out there right now. "And you don't owe that man the courtesy of a visit after what he did. However…" She looked to Jane and Ann, and by their silent communication, Meg just knew they'd already discussed this prior to coming.

Her shoulders sank as she waited for it…

"You cannot hide away forever, Meg," Ann said softly.

Meg nodded, her throat tight. "I know that. But…I'm certain everyone is still talking…"

They exchanged another look, and not one of them tried to deny it.

Jane shifted, her cheeks turning bright pink. "Carver asked after you."

Meg straightened. "Pardon?"

"At the dinner party. I had to go. My father thought the Earl would be there, and…" Jane's wry smile seemed all wrong for such a sweet girl. "He wasn't, of course."

Jane's fiancé was renowned for being…elusive. He seemed to care not one whit what his bride-to-be was doing with her time, and made no attempts to accompany her in public.

Did he have any notion how humiliating his lack of attention was to the shy girl?

She hoped not. If he understood how hurtful he was by ignoring his betrothed, he wasn't just neglectful—he was outright cruel.

"The Earl wasn't there." Jane met Meg's gaze. "But Carver was, and he…he seemed disappointed that you would not be attending."

Ann nodded. "He asked me about you as well. He wanted to know if you'd be at the Turners' ball."

Meg's jaw dropped. She'd known he'd come to pay her a call. Twice, actually. Not that she'd tell the others that. And she'd suspected he meant to make amends.

According to her mother, the aunt who'd raised him had privately apologized on his behalf already. So yes, he'd no doubt been guilted into doing the chivalrous thing, especially as no one ever wished to offend her father.

But she'd rather hoped he'd given up.

Felicity wrinkled her nose. "He asked me as well. But I told him he had no business knowing your plans."

Meg smiled at Felicity's hard tone. She had no doubt her friend had made it abundantly clear just what she thought of the young Duke.

"The point is, dear," Ann said, leaning forward to grasp her hand. "It was wonderfully brave of you to see through the dare and to say yes…"

"Very brave," Jane added with an enthusiastic nod.

"But you cannot avoid him forever," Felicity ended.

Meg nodded, and when she spoke, she sounded far less terrified than she felt. "I know that. And I don't intend to avoid society forever just because of one embarrassing moment."

Even if she did still hear the whispers and snickers in her nightmares.

She faced each of her concerned friends in turn. "I promise, I have no regrets about saying yes, and I don't intend to let one man's bad actions ruin this Season for me or any of us." She leaned forward and held a hand out, and all three of them clasped it at once. "I have my friends, so I have nothing to fear."

The words were excellent, but her heart ricocheted at the thought of facing society—and worse, the Duke—in public once more.

"So you'll attend the Turners' ball?" Jane asked, so hopeful Meg couldn't help but smile.

"I will. And what's more…I shall enjoy myself."

"Here, here!" Felicity cheered.

"And the Duke?" Ann asked warily.

Meg's smile felt just a little wicked as her heart kicked painfully against her ribs. "I cannot avoid him entirely, of course. But so far as I'm concerned, I owe that man no courtesy."

The others exchanged an amused look. "And so," Felicity said slowly, her eyes glinting with amusement. "When you see the Duke…"

Meg widened her eyes, feigning ignorance as she reached for one of the pastries on the table before her. She popped it in her mouth and chewed slowly before asking sweetly, " What Duke?"