Chapter 15

Atonement

Ulla awakened to the chirping birdsong of morning larks and an insistent hardness poking and prodding her backside. She parted her legs and welcomed Cardin once again into her warm, willing womb.

With a deep moan, he sheathed himself inside her. He pinned her hips in place, caressing the sensitive bud between her thighs with long, skilled fingers.

Muscles tightening with increased tension like a tautly drawn bow, she catapulted into climax as he arrowed into her, spilling his ample seed.

“A perfect way to start the morning.” Cardin kissed the back of her neck and caressed her skin.

Ulla shivered deliciously, rolled toward him, and nuzzled his muscled chest. I love his chest hair. It’s so virile . So primal. She inhaled his musky, masculine scent, drawing his essence deep into her lungs.

Her heart clenched at the thought of him leaving.

I know he’ll return to Biarritz. To the distant land of Aquitaine. But I’m glad we had last night together. Because even after he’s gone, I’ll have the memory to treasure forever.

As Cardin stretched his long limbs and hummed in satisfaction, she slipped out of bed and scurried into the kitchen to fetch the gown she had dropped on the floor. Quickly pulling it over her head and securing the woven belt at her waist, Ulla stoked the dying embers in the hearth and added more firewood. She stirred some oats into a pot of water, set it over the rekindled flames to boil, and whistled for Vill to accompany her outside. From the chicken coop, she released her hens, plucking the last of the strawberries from the plants tucked among the hedgerow, and headed back to the kitchen, her wolf at her heels.

Fully dressed, Cardin joined her in the kitchen, wrapping his arms around her as he peered over her shoulder. He sniffed appreciatively as Ulla ladled the boiled oats into two ceramic bowls and set them on the oak table. “Mmm…smells like cinnamon.” A grin of approval stretching across his scarred, handsome face, he watched as she placed a wedge of cheese, a loaf of meslin bread, several slices of smoked bacon, a jar of honey, and the fresh strawberries near the servings of porridge.

Ulla poured two mugs of ale, handed him a goblet, and gestured for Cardin to break his fast with her.

He dove in with relish. “This is delicious. You’re as fine a cook as you are a healer.” Admiration glinted in his dark green eyes. While Ulla added strawberries to her bowl of boiled oats and honey, he announced between hearty bites of bread, “I’ll fetch Lukaz for his lessons once we’ve finished.” He swallowed a large gulp of ale and wiped the foam from his frothy lip. With a jut of his chin, he indicated an alert Vill and quipped, “Lukaz isn’t the only one eager for the hunt.”

When they’d both eaten their fill, Ulla collected the dishes and set them on the kitchen counter near a bucket of water. She’d wash them once Cardin left the cottage.

He pulled her into his arms, leaned her back, and planted a passionate kiss on her delighted mouth. “Thank you for the delectable meal. Be back soon with our little archer.”

****

As he trudged through the forest, headed toward the imposing Chateau de Landuc , Cardin berated himself for seven lost, lonely years.

I’ve been a damned fool. Shunning my son. Blaming him for Charlotte’s death. Avoiding my family. Drinking, dicing, drowning in debt. I was blind, but these past three months have opened my eyes. It’s time for me to atone for my sins. Make it up to Lukaz. Be the father he needs and wants so badly. Spend what little time Maman has left to be the best son I can for her.

Images of Ulla floated to him like a soft, soothing breeze.

Her quiet, calming presence. Her gentle, healing touch. Her divine, welcoming body.

Cardin knew he could never leave her. She was as much a part of him now as Lukaz. The beautiful, beguiling Priestess of Dana had healed both father and son.

He wanted to ask for her hand, but had nothing to offer a bride. Even if Ulla agreed to marry him, he couldn’t bring her back to Biarritz. As castle knights, he and his brother Gaultier shared a bedroom at le Chateau de Monmarin . There was simply no room for a wife and child.

How could he possibly provide for a family? He’d returned Charlotte’s dowry—including the manor house and lands in Saint-Renan—to her grieving parents. He had no property or inheritance. No title or fortune. No home to offer Ulla and Lukaz.

In a sudden flash of clarity, he froze, transfixed by the dawning revelation.

Gaultier would return to Aquitaine after Maman’s death, for he was anxious to rejoin the lovely Dolssa. If Cardin sold the horse he’d ridden from Biarritz, he’d have enough coin to repay Itzal Baroja. He could then send the one hundred pounds of silver with Gaultier back to Aquitaine and eliminate his debt with the ruthless Basque moneylender. And if his other brother Bastien—King Guillemin’s appointed heir—agreed, Cardin could resume his position as Captain of the Royal Archers in Finistère.

After all, his assignment to Aquitaine had been voluntary. When Charlotte died, Cardin had requested the distant transfer, eager to escape the constant reminders of the wife and life he had lost. Bastien and Gabrielle had been raising Lukaz as their own ever since, living with her father King Guillemin in le Chateau de Beaufort. After the holidays and Maman’s imminent passing, they planned to bring Lukaz back to the castle with them when Cardin inevitably returned to Biarritz.

He could write a letter to Bastien! Explain his desire to marry Ulla. Request permission to return to his position as royal archer for King Guillemin. And provide a home in Finistère for his future wife and son.

Cardin’s spirit soared as he skipped up the stone steps and entered the castle.

In the cozy alcove just outside the enormous kitchen—where Maman loved to sip steaming cups of chamomile tisane — Cardin spotted his brother, parents, and son breaking their fast at the wooden table under the sunlit window.

Lukaz leapt from his seat, dashed across the room, and flung his arms around his father’s waist. “Papa, let’s go to Lady Ulla’s cottage. I can’t wait to see Vill!”

Cardin chortled as he hugged his exuberant son. “We’ll go in just a minute.” He made eye contact with his parents. “But first, I need to have a word with Mamie and Papi . Finish your meal with Tonton Gaultier. I’ll be back in a few minutes when I’m done.”

Esclados rose from his seat, his thick brows furrowed in concentration. “We can speak privately in the solar.” He helped Laudine to her feet and summoned a dutiful valet. “Mugs of ale for my wife, son, and me.”

Once the attendant had seated and served them, he retreated from the solar and closed the heavy oak door behind him.

Cardin took a long pull of ale, sighed heavily, and set the goblet down. He met his parents’ worried gaze and confessed with a sad smile, “I wish to atone for the past seven years. Make amends for my grievous mistakes.” He reached across the table and squeezed Laudine’s soft hand. “I want to be a father for Lukaz. A decent son for you and Papa. An honorable man once again.”

Hope shone brightly in her expressive, expectant eyes.

“ Maman , I wish to marry Ulla, but I can’t bring a wife and son back to Biarritz.”

She lowered her gaze and stared at the contents in her mug.

“But I have an idea. I’ll write to Bastien and request permission to return as a royal archer for King Guillemin at le Chateau de Beaufort . If he agrees—which I believe he will—then I’ll have the means to support a family. I can ask Ulla to marry me. And if she accepts, I’ll bring my wife and son to Finistère.” Eyebrows raised optimistically, he assessed his parents’ reaction.

And was thrilled to see unabashed joy spread across their delighted, surprised faces.

“I’ll send for parchment and quill. You can pen the letter right now and we’ll dispatch the messenger at once. It will take two days to reach Finistère, and perhaps three more to await the response. If all goes well, you’ll have your answer next week.” Esclados grinned at his blustering, blubbering wife. “Another Yuletide marriage for you to plan, my love. Just like the winter solstice wedding you and Viviane arranged for Bastien and Gabrielle in her glorious Crystal Castle.” He kissed Laudine’s trembling hand.

“No, Papa— Maman is ill. The servants can arrange a simple service for us during the holidays.” Cardin wiped away the tears spilling down his mother’s smiling cheeks. “We’ll stay here with you, Maman . Ulla, Lukaz, and I will be at your side. Until the very end.”

Laudine cast a conspiratorial glance at her husband before returning her attention to her son. “I, too, wish to atone for my sins.” She clutched Cardin’s calloused hand, remorse and regret dimming her shining smile. “I pray that you’ll forgive me, son, for I have deceived you.” Her amber eyes were alight with love and repentance. “I am not truly sick. I feigned a serious illness to force you to come home.” Guilt tinged her vibrant voice. “For seven years, you refused to return to Brocéliande. I had to resort to drastic measures.” She absently stroked the dark hair on his bent knuckles. “I desperately wanted you to come home. To be here for the holidays. To reunite with your estranged son.” Tears brimmed in her loving eyes. “Can you forgive my despicable lie?”

Cardin shot to his feet and pulled his mother into his arms. “Of course I forgive you, Maman .” He held her at arm’s length, scrutinizing her tear-stained, fearful face. “You’re certain you’re not ill? It’s just a ruse?”

She hugged him tight, resting her head over his thundering heart. “I am healthy and hale. And eager to plan a Yuletide wedding for you and your beautiful bride.” She reached up to brush a strand of hair from his furrowed forehead. “You’ve made my Yuletide wish come true. You came home to Brocéliande. You reunited with your son. And you’ve found love again.” Rising up onto her tiptoes, she kissed his bristled cheek. “Ulla healed your broken heart. And you, my savage, lupine son, healed hers.”

Esclados opened the door to address Jehan, the attendant waiting in the hall. “Have a courier prepare for immediate departure to Finistère with an urgent message for my son Bastien at le Chateau de Beaufort . Bring parchment, quill, ink, and wax to seal the document. At once.”

“ à vos orders, Monsieur. Right away, sir.” Jehan dashed off down the hall. A few minutes later, he reappeared with the required materials and placed them on the table.

Cardin penned the letter to his brother Bastien, blew the ink dry, and rolled up the parchment. He sealed the wax with the imprint of his signet ring and dispatched the royal courier. “Change horses frequently and deliver this message within two days. Await my brother’s response, and return right away. Depart at once.”

Tucking the sealed message inside his doublet, the messenger bowed at the waist, turned on his heels, and exited the private solar.

Cardin exhaled in relief and grinned at his beaming parents. “Now, we wait. But in the meantime, I must fetch Lukaz and bring him to Ulla’s cottage.” Envisioning the beguiling beauty in his arms as she drew back the longbow string, he smirked, “I love the archery lessons as much as my son.”

He kissed his mother’s cheeks and shook his father’s steady hand, his tone now solemn and grateful. “Thank you both for all you’ve done. I love you very much. I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to realize that profound truth.”

With a grateful smile, he bowed his head and headed out the door.