Chapter 17

17

S eeing Mariana’s wolf in action again was surreal. She had the same dark fur, gleaming like polished obsidian in the sun, and the same loping grace as before, yet there was a hard fierceness to her amber eyes that I’d never seen in the Mariana of my youth. And the sheer boldness in which she transformed, waltzing past with the confidence of someone who knew they were a goddess—I’d never wanted to sink my fangs into someone so badly.

Which, of course, resulted in a massive erection and my yammering like an idiot. Had I really just referred to Harp as my mother ? Kill me now.

Fortunately, Mariana took charge after our little conference outside and had us sorted in no time, with Calum fetching fresh drinking water from the well and Tenebris cooking up a pot of oatmeal using ingredients he pulled from his travel bag. His face was annoyingly smug as he handed me a bowl full of the hearty concoction, which smelled amazing. Damn it. I stuck a spoonful in my mouth and almost died of bliss on the spot.

Tenebris preened. “Good, isn’t it? I use chai in place of water and cook it with overly-ripe blackberries.”

“It’s not the worst thing I’ve eaten,” I admitted. Grudgingly.

“It’s delicious.” Calum shoveled a huge spoonful into his mouth, cutting Tenebris a shy side-eye. “I should get you to cook me breakfast more often.”

Tenebris busied himself with the pot, but I could see the tips of his ears turning pink. “Perhaps I could be persuaded…”

I smothered a grin and glanced over at Mariana, but she was too busy staring pensively into her bowl to notice her alleged lover was flirting with her pack mate. Two little lines formed between her furrowed brow, and I had the sudden urge to lean over and kiss them away. I shoved another spoonful of oatmeal into my mouth and swallowed before I did just that.

“So,” Tenebris drawled. “We never really did get back to discussing the why behind Noah’s little deception. What does everyone think? Jealousy? A deep-seated hatred for Jack hidden behind the veil of friendship?”

I choked on a mouthful of oatmeal. “ Little deception? He lied to everyone I know and left me up here to die. I’d say that’s a pretty fucking big deception.” Just thinking about it made my blood boil all over again. First thing I was going to do should this plan succeed was murder that son of a bitch.

“Semantics.” Tenebris waved his spoon with a dismissive air, and I briefly fantasized about a two-for-one homicide: Tentacles’ head mounted on a post beside Noah’s. “Personally, my money is on jealousy. The way that man looked at Mari when we arrived at the council meeting was fucking hot. Like, I’m surprised he didn’t rip her clothes off and ravage her right there on the table.”

The spoon bent in my fist, and I growled, swinging my glower toward Mariana. “He did what?”

She flushed. “Nothing. Tenebris exaggerates. Noah was just being friendly.”

“Friendly.” Gods, I wanted to hit something right now. Murder was too good enough for that sleazeball—torture. That’s what he deserved. A long, slow removal of each and every fingernail to start. Then I’d move on to the appendages themselves…

“Jack?”

A gentle hand on my arm snapped me from my bloody daydream, and I blinked in surprise to find Mariana had moved to sit beside me. Her lips curved into a soft smile. “Nothing has ever happened between me and Noah. I promise.”

The fury that’d been overwhelming my senses dwindled to a dull roar, and I set my unfinished bowl to the side. “We should probably get moving soon. You ready?” If I wanted to make it through the morning without hurting someone, I needed to not think about Noah and whatever traitorous reasons he may or may not have had.

Mariana finished her last mouthful and nodded. “Right behind you.”

I led the way to the free-standing door, and paused, gripping the handle. “Be prepared to move fast. As soon as Gregar realizes we’re out there, he’ll come swinging. The ballroom is four flights up. Don’t stop until you’re inside.”

Mariana bounced on the balls of her feet, an eager grin twitching at the corners of her mouth. “Run fast—got it.”

Delighted warmth swept the residual anger from my chest, the sight of her poised and ready for action so like the Mariana of my childhood. I grinned while I opened the door and she shot out into the hall like a bolt of lightning—always the first to jump, my Mariana. I swallowed the urge to whoop as I followed, reaching the first step a beat behind her. A low grumbling echoed through the room, the first sign that Gregar was stirring, and I pushed harder, reaching the first door a fraction behind Mariana. My lungs screamed at me to slow down, the pace too taxing for my current capabilities, but then Mariana looked over her shoulder and grinned.

I soared up the next flight of stairs on winged feet.

Gregar’s ink-black head swiveled our way, green eyes flashing when they latched onto our racing forms. The floor shook with his indignant roar.

My foot tripped mid-step, and I pitched forward, knees striking the sharp marble edge of the stair above me. I swore as I scrambled to right myself, pain radiating through my legs. A hand gripped mine out of nowhere, pulling me up, and I briefly met Mariana’s concerned gaze before we were back at it, charging up the steps to the third landing.

Gregar’s fist smashed the banister a breath away from where we’d just been, and shards of splintered marble bounced off the back of my leather vest. I barely noticed over the threat of rising bile—there was a reason I didn’t make the trip to see Harp every day. Yesterday had depleted my energy to an embarrassing degree.

Mariana skidded to a stop in front of the ballroom door, swinging it open and holding it while she waited for me to catch up. Concern etched her face as I stumbled through the doorway, and I barked out a laugh while the door slammed shut behind us in an attempt to defuse it.

“Damn, woman. Still the fastest werewolf in the forest, I see.”

“The fastest period.” Her head tilted as she watched me struggle to catch my breath. She, of course, was completely unfazed by our little run. “And don’t call me woman.”

“If you’d rather I called you sweetheart, all you have to do is ask.” I flashed her a wide grin.

The retort I was expecting came a beat late, her eye roll and muttered “get bent” accompanied by the faintest tinge of pink highlighting those oh-so-perfect cheekbones. The urge to pull her into my arms and kiss every inch of that almost-blush hit hard. Slow and steady, Jack. You’ve waited ten years, you can wait a little longer.

I’d wait as long as it took.

“So they really do have actual rooms in this place, huh?” Mariana spun in a slow circle, her voice echoing through the empty space. She gestured toward the stage where Harp rested in front of a backsplash of heavy, red curtains. “I take it that’s your friend?”

I let my gaze wander to the yellow-haired, young woman, her shoulders slumped forward as she slept upright, the elaborate gold harp that sprouted like a single, giant wing from her back holding her in place. If I thought I’d had it bad being stuck in this curse-infested castle for the past ten years, Harp’s fate was far worse. Reliant on others to move about (and far too heavy for me to carry while dodging an angry shadow giant), she’d been stuck in this room since the curse took effect.

Sixty long, lonely years.

“Yeah.” I smiled softly. “That’s her.”

“She’s beautiful.”

I glanced down at Mariana’s profile, surprised by the vulnerable edge to her voice. “She is,” I agreed, watching as her freckled nose scrunched and those ruby lips pursed ever so slightly. Gods, she was adorable.

As if sensing my attention, her expression smoothed. “And human-sized. For some reason I thought she’d be more in proportion to the giants.” She gave me a teasing look that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Did the two of you ever make sweet music together? Pluck each others’ chords?”

I frowned. “What? No, of course not. We’re just friends.” And I was in love with you.

She shrugged. “It’d be no big deal if you had. I mean, you were stuck up here for a fucking decade. If it’d been me, I would have totally hit that. Assuming she was willing.” The casually spoken words sent slivers of pain through my heart. She’s not serious… is she? My shock must have been obvious, as she crossed her arms with a look of defiance. “What? You have a problem with women taking female lovers?”

“No, of course not.” I raked a hand through my hair, pain and embarrassment warring for dominance in my aching chest.

“Good, because I have.” She swallowed, her gaze falling to the lacquered floor. “Several, in fact. Men too. Not just Tenebris. I’ve had dozens of lovers since you left, sometimes more than one at a time.”

Her words cut like glass—razor-sharp shards that pierced my soul with each callously-tossed syllable. I was going to puke. Either that or hit something. Possibly both. Still, I scrambled to hold onto that last shred of reason. “You thought I’d left. You were hurt.”

She dipped her chin, and my heart squeezed at the slight quiver in her bottom lip. That tiny fang peeked out again, pinning the plump flesh in place. “I was,” she whispered. “And I feel horrible, knowing what I do now. But”—she lifted her head, her eyes finally meeting mine—“I’m not going to apologize for the people I’ve slept with. I did what I had to to get through the pain.”

I nodded slowly, even as the thought of her entwined with someone else made me want to retch. “You had every right to seek comfort in whatever form it took. I understand.”

“Good.” She hesitated, glancing across the floor toward the stage. “That’s not all that happened while you were gone, though. I, uh, did some things I’m not proud of.” Her arms folded over her chest as if to shield herself from whatever she was about to say. “I went a little… feral, I guess you could say. I officially accepted my position as alpha of the forest pack, and proceeded to use that power to raise as much hell as possible—raiding villages, getting in fights, or just generally messing with people’s heads. I didn’t care who I hurt, so long as it was a distraction.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “But what’s worse, I… I turned Lyall into a werewolf against his will. I was so afraid he was going to leave me too, that I ended up driving him away altogether.” She shook her head, her voice barely audible now. “I’m not the girl you left behind, Jack. And I don’t think I ever will be.”

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. The raw pain in her expression made any words I might say seem utterly inadequate. What could I say, anyway? She was right—from the sound of it, she’d done some pretty shitty things. And yes, she had changed. A lot. But then, so had I. I was angry almost all of the time. The tiniest little things could set me off. I was bitter and tired and so fucking jealous of every bastard who got to spend even a moment in Mari’s presence. Those were supposed to have been my moments.

So yeah, we were different now. But that didn’t change how I felt about her.

And I wasn’t going to give up until she believed it.