Chapter 11

11

J ack’s voice, the impossible words his lips were forming, all of it rang with a sincerity I couldn’t wrap my brain around. While I was crying and cursing him by turns for abandoning me, he’d been trapped up here? Alone? For ten years ? My stomach twisted painfully, my legs trembling. I hadn’t known. I hadn’t?—

His hand lifted tentatively, once again seeking mine, but I jerked away out of habit. Tenebris’s hold tightened while I shrank into his steady warmth. It was too much. Too sudden. I needed… gods, I didn’t even know what I needed other than to breathe. Something that’d never felt quite so difficult before now.

“Mariana.” My name was a plea, wrapping around my heart and squeezing tight. “I’m so sorry,” Jack whispered. “I was a reckless idiot. I wanted to give you something amazing on our bonding day, and it cost me everything. I know it’s been a long time—trust me, I know —but you’re here. And I…” His voice cracked, and I felt the jagged shards pierce my chest, slicing it into painful ribbons of regret. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Too much.

It was all just too much.

“But there was a note,” I insisted, clawing desperately at some shred of reason. “In your handwriting. I saw it. I…” I’d sobbed over it. Soaked it with my tears before ripping it into a thousand tiny pieces.

Jack’s jaw tightened and his eyes grew dark. “If there was, it was a fake. Someone must have forged my signature.”

“But who—” I stilled, ice creeping through my veins at the memory of Noah’s parting words, dripping with regret. I’m sorry . I fumbled with my rucksack, jerking it open with trembling hands. There, resting atop a bundle of rolled-up clothes, was Jack’s dagger. The one he’d “lent” to Noah. I held it out, gaze darting upward to see the thundercloud forming behind Jack’s expression. “Noah gave me this,” I whispered. “Right before we came up.”

“I let him borrow it before we entered the castle,” he said, voice low and flat while he took the proffered blade. “He was nervous, and I was carrying a spare. He still had it on him when he fled…”

“That asshole left you here? And didn’t tell anyone?”

Calum’s voice snapped Jack from his narrow-eyed trance, and he swore, knuckles whitening around the dagger’s crimson hilt as he paced off through the grass. “He didn’t tell anyone,” he muttered, the words barely coherent. “He didn’t… fucking hell, he… he lied to them.” He stopped in his tracks and threw the dagger across the lawn with a roaring, “Fuck!” The blade embedded itself in the cabin’s outer wall.

My chest ached as if it’d struck me, instead. I knew something had been off about Noah’s final words. I just hadn’t imagined it was something so completely unforgivable. So…

Devastating.

“Noah wrote the note, and pretended it was from you.” I shook my head, trying to make sense out of the improbable statement. He’d been our friend. How could he betray us like that? He’d seen what Jack’s supposed abandonment did to me. Hell, he’d brought me those damned wildflowers every day. He’d held my hand, made me tea, read freaking poetry while I stared blankly into the fire. He’d been there for me in every possible way.

My stomach turned, the memory of my last day in Mondue rising to the surface. The way Noah had pulled me into his arms, brushing kisses over my hair while he begged me to look at him. I’d thought he’d simply been worried about me, but now… now I wondered if it was merely friendship that brought him to my doorstep every day.

I fell to my knees and hurled into the grass.

Love truly was the root of all evil.

“Mari!” Tenebris and Calum hovered around me, looking for all the world like a pair of nervous mothers.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. “I’m fine.” I glanced up, meeting Jack’s gaze. Fury still blazed hot within its green depths, and his chest rose and fell as he stared silently back at me. I staggered to my feet. “We’ll figure this out,” I said softly, my own gaze never wavering from his. “We came here to save someone, and that someone is going to be you.”

His shoulders slumped, the fire in his eyes dimming to embers. “There’s no way out. Trust me, I’ve looked.”

“I’m a witch.” I cracked my knuckles for emphasis. “I’ll magic a way out if I have to.”

His eyes flared. “Impossible.”

I lifted my chin. “You doubt me?”

He slowly shook his head, his face filling with a wonder that did funny things to my breathing. “I could never doubt you. Mariana”—he took a step closer, hands reaching toward me—“I missed you. I love y?—”

“I can’t.”

The words came tumbling out, and I clung to them like a shield while I desperately gathered my wits. The love I shared between family and friends was one thing. That kind of love was steady, safe. The feelings Jack’s confession stirred, on the other hand, were the opposite of safe. They were fireworks and full moon runs. They were madness. They were the kind of feelings that left nothing but bitter darkness in their wake.

I’d suffered that kind of love before, and when Jack left, the people around me suffered for it. I’d lashed out, hurting everyone around me. For years, I’d bled fear and chaos wherever I went. Acting like I didn’t care about anything. Gods, I even turned my own brother (adopted and human) into a werewolf for fear of him leaving me. And while it was true that Tenebris’s curse influenced me, prompting me to spiral deeper and deeper into that darkness, the fact was it wouldn’t have affected me at all if the craven desires hadn’t been there to begin with. I knew what I was capable of, and I refused to become that person ever again.

Not even for Jack.

“You can’t?” he repeated, as if trying to make sense of the words. His brow lowered, his gaze shifting toward Tenebris. His jaw clenched beneath his matted beard. “Did you bond with someone?”

I drew in a slow breath, willing my voice to remain steady. “No, I haven’t bonded with anyone.”

His relief at my words was palpable, and I had to steel myself to continue, knowing I was about to hurt him. But the sooner I put an end to these painful feelings, the better it would be for all of us. Jack included. “But I am with someone.”

His eyes narrowed. “Who?”

Please don’t kill me for this, Ten-Ten. I layered a hand over Tenebris’s chest, smothering a wince when his fingers dug painfully into my arm. “I’m with Tenebris.”

Jack didn’t say anything, but the skin along his knuckles whitened as the fists clenched tighter. I chanced a peek at Tenebris, only to find the color had completely leached from his face. I thought he might out me for the liar that I was, but then he straightened and a cocky smirk settled across his face.

“That’d be me.” He lifted my hand from his chest and pressed a lingering kiss against the back. “I’m Mariana’s lover.”

For one, tense moment I thought Jack was going to lose it and beat the ever-loving-crap out of poor Ten-Ten, but then his scowl turned into a derisive snort, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “Bullshit.”

Tenebris arched a brow. “You don’t believe us?”

“Definitely not,” Jack scoffed. “You're not her type.” He nodded toward Calum, who’d remained wisely silent throughout the exchange. “Him maybe, but definitely not you.”

Tenebris bristled, and I bit back a curse when I saw the beginnings of a shit storm stirring. Why are all my exes such stubborn, cocky sons of bitches? Is that really my type?

Tenebris’s hand slid off my arm, skimming my waist before splaying over my hip. Jack’s gaze grew thunderous as it tracked the motion, and a snarl curled his lip when he caught sight of my bonding ring gleaming from its place on Tenebris’s finger. “Is that so?” Tenebris continued, ignoring my discrete elbow to the side. Too far, Ten. You’re taking it too far. “Then I certainly wouldn’t know she has a star-shaped cluster of freckles''—his fingers slipped lower, inching their way toward my inner thigh—“right about…”

Jack launched forward, tackling Tenebris to the ground with a growl. “Don’t you fucking touch her.” His face contorted with rage, his fist pulling back with the clear intention of smashing Tenebris’s face in. Jolted into action, I snatched his wrist before he could follow through.

He stilled at my touch, face tilting up to meet my gaze.

The hurt radiating from his eyes struck so hard I might as well have taken the punch myself. I slid my hands over his fist, praying he would see the sense in my words, even if they did taste like ash on my tongue. “I’m sorry, Jack. I am. Had I known you were up here, things might have been different. But it’s been ten years. I’ve changed, and there’s nothing I can do about that. All we can do now is put the past behind us and work together to find a way out of this place.” I squeezed his hand. “I’m going to bring you home, Jack. I swear it.”

I held my breath, waiting for Jack’s response. He stared at our clasped hands, and after a moment of tense silence, I gently slipped mine free, letting them fall to my side. He closed his eyes, chest rising with an audible inhalation. When he opened them, the emotion that’d been warring there was gone, replaced with a blank mask as he rose to his feet.

“I need to take care of a few things, but when I get back, we can talk more about, you know… what happened. And start planning a way out.”

“Of course,” I hurried to say, grateful for the redirection. “And I’m sure you’ll want to hear about your family,” I rambled nervously. “They’re doing well. Healthy. Sean’s friggin’ tall.”

Jack nodded without looking at me. “Good. That’s good.” He cleared his throat. “No one leaves the room until I get back. It’s fairly safe here, but you don’t want to go wandering about the rest of the castle, for obvious reasons. If I’m not back before the sun goes down, get in the cabin and bar the door. There’s a fireplace inside—light it, and keep it lit all night.” His gaze flicked to Tenebris, still lying on the ground, then to Calum before finally settling on my face. His fingers twitched at his side. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”

He turned on his heel and jogged off toward the free-standing oak door rising up from the grass. Fear hurdled to the forefront, freeing my muddled tongue as I shouted, “Wait! What about the… the shadow monster? Shouldn’t you stay here with us?”

His shoulders stiffened, but still he didn’t look back. “I’ve managed to keep myself alive for ten years on my own. I’m sure I can manage one more day.” Cracking the door open, he peeked into the foyer before slipping outside.

I bit my lip, watching the door click shut behind him.

I hope he’s right.