29. Aurelia

Chapter 29

Aurelia

O ver a week after I'd received the oddest clothes I'd ever owned, I was hard at work and closing in on some truly amazing discoveries. Arleth and Delaney had been lecturing me on plants and their properties, and also about their complex creations. It was like getting that journal all those years ago, except better, because I could ask questions and dive deeper into anything that struck my fancy. My need to create more product had blossomed—truly blossomed. I was like a woman possessed.

First things first, though. I'd needed to do my duty and cut out Granny's threat.

The addictive element of that coating had proven easy to formulate, and therefore easy to counteract. They already had something to combat it, it was just too slow. After some analysis and trial and error—using increased pressure to force the plant elements to break down more and then adding a few different elements Delaney had come up with—we had something that prevented the addiction from forming. Take it with the drug—even the one I'd devised that worked really quickly—and there shouldn't be a problem. Done.

The sickness had been a little more elusive. It was caused by a poison the taramore root created when it was broken down —Arleth had known that one. The dragons had a brew called the nulling elixir that was essentially the cure-all Vemar and I had been using. It worked, but wasn't quite powerful enough to counteract a deadly dose of Granny's poison.

After a ton of trial and error, I found that the Everlass leaf was just fine with lots of heat—it was dragon weed, after all, and those fuckers blew fire. It was made to handle heat. I also found that it performed best when under duress. I threw everything I had at it: pressure, heat, ice, water. I even tried to find a way to get lightning to strike it until Weston had tramped out into the field in the middle of the night in a thunderstorm and dragged me back to bed. Vemar was still in trouble for letting me do it, though he'd been just as keen to try.

In the end, and with the dragons hovering over me like a bunch of nervous mamas, I'd found the right balance between pressure and heat and cracked the secret of the crowded Everlass plant, something they grew in such a way that it was very potent and thus very dangerous.

They could've spared me a lot of fucking time by mentioning that up front.

They hadn't felt comfortable with my recipe, worried that if I didn't do it exactly right, I'd kill myself or someone else. They worried doubly so for anyone else who might try to re-create it.

It had been a good point.

I'd backed off the potency of the Everlass, a little too crazy under duress—much like dragons, actually—and given the Moonfire Lily its first chance to shine.

And shine it did.

I picked it at night, because Arleth and Delaney had read somewhere that it popped up in places where wolves roamed, much like the way Everlass grew near dragons, and they believed it would be stronger and more potent when picked within the glow of its namesake. I made them gasp the next morning when I lit it on fire.

"It's a simple plant," I told them, breathing in the heavenly aroma of its perfume. "Its favorite things are in the name."

The addition of the Moonfire Lily to the mix had worked just right. Perfectly, actually, on the first try. Easy to work with, like wolves. The final concoction was even pink! Not so bright as Granny's crap, but still really pretty.

It wouldn't only work on Granny's product, either. They tried it on someone with food poisoning, and it had worked like a dream. It didn't have to be made as needed or heated in order to use it. All you had to do was store it in a cool, dry place and it would last for... some length of time I had yet to determine.

Addiction? Sickness? Problems solved. The relief I felt at having made something to counteract the coating eased something inside me. It eased the burden of guilt I'd been carrying since I learned the truth about Granny and her organization.

Feeling emboldened, I added, "Do you know what else will solve the problem? Scraping off the fucking coating. That's all anyone has to do. Spread the word and there you go."

They hadn't appreciated my candor, apparently. Or Vemar's laughing.

Goal achieved, and glowing from Weston telling me how proud he was of me, I now had time to take all I'd learned and really play with things. I had a whole list of stuff I wanted to try using the Everlass and the Moonfire Lily and the dangle root and some sweet flower that tasted really good and smelled even better.

"Aurelia—" Finley, finding me in the work shed surrounded by a dozen contraptions and with tubs and bowls and finished product ready to be tested, stopped dead in her tracks in the doorway.

"I can explain," I said quickly, my hands out, knowing I was not supposed to have woken up before dawn, and was definitely supposed to have stopped working hours ago.

She was afraid of burnout. I was afraid of the drug I'd tested earlier, the one that was supposed to give a burst of energy and instead was making me zoom around, jittery. I was working too fast and was high as a motherfucker. I needed to take the Moonfire Lily out of this one.

She looked over my workstation, noticing which plants I was using, the things I'd finished, and the chunk taken out of the sheet in the container labeled Test .

Vemar was right—I needed to stop labeling things.

"That creation, whatever it is, is denied," she said smoothly.

"But." I held up a finger, then launched into a very long-winded explanation about nothing relevant while looking in random places around the room and occasionally laughing for no reason.

She watched me silently, waited for me to finish, and said, "Was that an argument or you agreeing with me?"

"That question is a test, isn't it?" I nodded too fast and too much. "Agreeing. Did you need something?"

"Rid that stuff from your mind. We have something we need to do, and then I am going to force-feed you your sleep aid so that you will stop working. This is getting ridiculous, Aurelia. You cannot keep up this pace. I've let you extend your hours a bit because you showed no signs of fatigue, but eventually you will crash. Also, where is your protection? Where's Vemar?"

"I wouldn't let him try this product, and he did, indeed, crash. I'm good, though. I used to work from dawn until dusk, then cook, then do my art or read or?—"

I held up a finger to pause myself, then my other pointer finger... then started drumming them against the edges of the table in a too-fast rhythm. My foot got going and my body followed, bobbing along to a beat that was probably so erratic it matched the pace of my heart.

"This stuff might cause heart attacks. Denied."

I shoved my finger into the air, saw Finley bristle, and decided enough was probably enough. She was getting ready to force-feed me that sleep aid.

"Okay, okay." I nodded. "Okay, okay. Whooooeeee! Moonfire Li-lyyyy!"

Finley, now officially unamused, sent out a burst of power and growled, " Now , Aurelia."

Thank the gods she had a lot of power and an alpha's command. It helped clear my mind long enough to slip into my alternate headspace and clear these chemicals from my consciousness. I'd learned after nearly dying from Granny's product, though, that the effects would stay in my bloodstream.

"Do you know what we need?" I said as I came out of it.

She was watching me. "Something to slow down your thoughts?"

"I have that. No, we need a way to test the potency of stuff."

She motioned around the room, and I stared in blind terror at the mess in front of me.

"I can't leave this mess. Crap, what...?" I grabbed the sheet from the test basket and turned to throw it into the garbage. "The last thing we need is a dragon getting hold of that and going on a tear. Just hang on a moment while I set everything to rights."

She did, stepping out of the work shed. Once I'd finished—my area was now organized but packed full of stuff and therefore ridiculous, and I knew Vemar was going to make fun of me—I met her outside. My heart was beating too fast and I was sweating.

"You okay?" she asked, studying me.

"I... am not sure, actually. I guess we'll see. As I was saying, it would be helpful if we had some way to evaluate how strong the mixtures are. Like some sort of solution you could drop a test product into that would change color depending on the potency. The more potent, the less we ingest when testing." I paused. "Should we be leaving the castle grounds this late in the day?"

"I'm not the sort of person Granny wants to capture," she said in a low voice, walking to the stables.

"Oh, someone should've told you... I don't know how to ride a horse. I tend to jump off, they try to kick me, and it's a whole thing."

She shook her head and looked away. A moment later, her shoulders shook and she lowered her head, laughing silently. Then louder until it was echoing across the grounds.

"Was it something I said?" I muttered.

That just made her laugh harder until she stopped, bracing her hands on her knees.

"The thing is," she said, "I'm supposed to always show decorum and maintain the prestige of my post. Arleth has spent a lot of time and effort—continues to spend time and effort—drilling proper etiquette into me. But you're just so fucking hilarious, made funnier because you don't realize it. Aurelia, tell me, how the leaping fuck are you so na?ve? How is that possible? Hannon says you are every bit as genuine and honest and... wide-eyed as you seem, but I've heard your history. You're a survivor, like me. How are you so.. . like..." She made a flowing sort of gesture with her hands, swaying from side to side.

"I don't know what that gesture means."

She shook her head again, smoothing her hair into a ponytail. "Well, what do you want to do, then? I ride the horse and you run in wolf form? I fly and you run? I fly and my dragon carries you in her mouth?"

My wolf piped in then, growling, "Nope." I could only assume she was responding to the last one.

"Just so we're all on the same page here," I said, "Weston knows you are taking me away from the castle, right? Into the wood? Without a guard or anything...?"

She studied me for a moment. "You're a rule follower, like him." It almost sounded like an accusation. She was definitely irritated about it, that was clear.

"You seem to have forgotten threatening me with death for my involvement in the drug trade. But no, following rules right now is not my main concern. My fear is that Granny has someone hiding in that wood, and when I pass by on my own, they'll trap me and take me back to her. Weston's rules are an attempt to keep me safe. I very much want that safety."

She chewed her cheek, still analyzing me. "Fair."

Clearly this queen was not in the habit of following rules. Interesting she expected people to follow hers.

"You'll be on the ground," she said, "and I'll be watching you from the air. Weston's people are covering every inch of that wood in anticipation of this outing—or they will be in a moment. I told him not long ago this was happening. We've got you, Aurelia. You're good."

I nodded, having no problem trusting her. If she'd wanted to kill me, she could've ordered it done weeks ago.

"How about I'll just run, and you can do whatever you want?"

She looked out at the wood, at the shadows elongating and deepening as the sun lowered. "Yeah, fuck it. Let's see how fast you are."

We picked up a sack from the stables to put our clothes in. She held it in her mouth as she shifted, growing and growing until she was huge, burgundy with golden dusting, as beautiful in dragon form as she was in human form. She took to the sky immediately, and my wolf took off running as fast as she could, a thrill zipping through us as she did. Scents drifted by and the cool night ruffled our fur. Her paws barely touched the ground, zips of lightning in the growing night.

I'd shifted again since that first time, and I'd run with Weston, but his wolf had always been close, monitoring my wolf's progress. She had been afraid to do something wrong and hadn't let loose. She hadn't gone wild or pushed her limits.

Now she did, leaving the path and sprinting through the trees. Another wolf with a scent she recognized joined us from the right, and she leapt, her feet landing on his back and rolling him across the ground. Her yip conveyed her playful intentions, and the chase was on, with him coming after us with everything he had.

She was faster, but not only that, she was cleverer.

She slowed just enough to let him catch up, then she darted right, ducking between two reaching trees and dodging left around a boulder. Another wolf ran out, and mine opened her mouth and ran her teeth across the other wolf's back, shaving a bit of her tail in the process. That wolf started after us, too, and then another, our mad dash zooming in and out of various guard posts and attracting their chase.

A roar sounded overhead. Fire blew across the tops of the trees. The failing sun streaked across gold dusting.

Finley was probably trying to tell us to stop playing around and get a move on.

We were going the right way, though. I had zero sense of direction, but my wolf was not so unlucky. She used smells and markers and whatever else to remember her trek on the way to the castle. She cut across the land, nearly bowling into a big black wolf with silver tips on his ears. Its scent registered immediately: Dante.

Another thing registered, too: his wolf's magic reached toward us in a familiar way, trying to pull us into the pack bond. Weston could do it easily—or maybe it was that my wolf always wanted him to, allowing him to suck me into him magically and holding me close. Dante, though, didn't have nearly enough power.

My wolf slapped his attempt away and bent, taking a nip at his chest.

His wolf growled, spun, and lunged. We were already gone.

I internally laughed with glee, riding up close to the surface of my wolf, taking in all the smells with her and the delirious, amazing feeling of running through the woods with the pack on our heels. We weren't united, and my wolf wouldn't jeopardize the pack bond or Weston's trust, but even just having them with us was a thrill unlike any other. I understood why everyone had gathered to hunt in the old village, even when they usually didn't come back with anything. They wanted this feeling of running together, of working as a unit, as a pack.

More wolves ran out, and my wolf dodged. Still more joined us, only one getting close enough to nearly trip us up: Nova. She had great instincts. None of them could catch us, though, not until we finally crashed through the trees and met the big queen dragon waiting on the other side.

Her fire blistered the air, and my wolf was already dodging the blast when she realized it wasn't directed at us. In fact, it was up into the air, over the trees. The wolves behind us slowed at the tree line, watching my wolf for a moment before silently turning and drifting away back into the wood. Once they were gone, Finley shifted, ending up crouched over the pack holding our clothes.

My wolf cleared out of the way, and I shifted into human form, panting with the effort of the mad dash.

"Weston has been babying you too much." Finley handed over my things.

"He's trying to get my wolf used to the bond and her body and all that stuff."

"Yeah. Slowly, right?" She lifted her eyebrows. "He's babying you. Mates tend to do that. You need to flex or you're never going to learn."

"I think I just did."

She laughed. "Damn right you just did. Felt good, right?"

I had to admit it had. I also had to admit that her strength and boldness set a fire burning within me. A lot of dragons just seemed out there. I liked them, but they were on a level all their own. She seemed... accessible, somehow. On par with me, as ridiculous as that notion sounded.

She nodded as though she knew it. "Don't let him hold you back, Aurelia. Mates like yours—like mine—want to protect us at all costs. That is super sexy, but it can also be smothering. Don't let him put you in a gilded cage and fluff your pillow as he shuts the door. You gotta fly free and experience life. Or, in your case, run wild and call your pack. You're a natural at it."

I thought about that as I dressed, about the joy I felt that they had run with me. That they had played.

"By the way..." She gave me a side-eye. "If Weston finds out those wolves left their posts to chase you, they'll be in some serious trouble. They broke the rules for you."

"I'll do better," I said automatically as I fastened my shirt.

She froze and then pushed the edge of her hand against my arm, leaning toward me. "Ew, what? You'll do better ? Gross, Aurelia. No, you won't do better. You already did great by breaking the rules so that you could flex and learn your wolf while she learned her pack. What I mean is they won't tell on themselves or each other because they won't want to get in trouble. If you tattled on them, it would ruin the bond you're just starting to build."

"Oh." I huffed out a breath. "Sorry, I'm not used to a superior telling me that it is okay to cause trouble. No, I had no intention of telling and getting anyone in trouble, myself included."

"Good. I figured, because you ate that poisonous stuff and didn't mention it to Weston, but you never know. Right, you ready?"

I shrugged because I had no idea what we were doing.

"Good enough." She started walking forward, her stride long and determined.

I hurried to catch up.

"Do you know this village?" I tore my eyes away from her commanding presence. There were probably few things more awkward than walking beside someone, staring at them bug-eyed while struggling to keep up for all you were worth. My weirdness probably made her nervous.

"Yours, right?" I said. "Didn't Hadriel say that?"

"Yes. I grew up under a curse where everyone around me was dying—my mom, my grandma. Toward the end, Hannon and I tried to keep our family going and keep my dad alive while we stared death right in the eye. It was a miserable existence. A traumatizing one."

I nodded as we crossed the dried grasses to the lane I'd traveled before, leading into the center of the cute, homey village.

"It was also this weird sort of social time freeze." Her gaze skimmed over the houses we were coming up on, and I realized I was staring again. "The women here all wore dresses, tended house, cooked meals, looked after their mates. Hell, their whole world revolved around getting a mate and then looking after him. My strengths were more in hunting, fighting, weapons... It was no secret that I wanted more than that provincial life. But not following norms—wearing pants when I should be in a dress, putting my life on the line to get food when even men wouldn't, shopping while covered in dirt—all that was seen as... different. ‘Not right.' And different here was seen as threatening. Hannon, too, didn't fit. He liked tending house and looking after our younger siblings. He cooked and patched me up. He was the rock our family clung to. He was mocked for it. Ridiculed."

Her gait slowed as the village neared; she was not ready to cross its borders.

"We were seen as odd, both of us. Our whole family, really. We didn't have friends, and while we could've had suitors because of our looks, we weren't respected. They tried to beat us down to make us conform, and treated us harshly because we wouldn't."

She fell silent for a moment, and I could tell it was cathartic to talk about it.

"Even with all that," she said, taking a deep breath, "I worked my plants and helped the village stay alive. I worked day in and day out trying to find a cure. I taught people how to work the Everlass and delivered any extra food to those too sick to hunt for themselves. Despite being an outcast, I created a cohesive community out of sheer..."

"Bullheadedness?"

She spat out a laugh. "Yeah, I guess. I mean, when I spell it all out like this, I'm like—why did I fucking bother? But honestly, at the time I just could not bear to see people suffer. I did not want my community falling down around me, because the unity of a community—of a pack—can help everyone thrive. The strong lift up the vulnerable. The able help the ailing. At the end of the curse, it was my village—poor, out of the way, and with no real resources—that was the healthiest. Why? Because we worked together."

"Or because one of you was a genius with plants and also a strong enough personality to force everyone to fall in line to save themselves." She looked at me out of the corner of her eye, and I shrugged. "I know from experience that people will overlook their prejudices to save their own lives or those of their children. Hell, the nastier ones will prey on your generosity out of pure selfishness, usually while also calling you names. But I get your point, even though I don't have any experience with it. I've never really been part of a community."

"Did you not give up food to help them thrive?" she asked. "Get punished but refuse to relent?" I found myself frowning at her. "Weston filled us in on your past. As did Hadriel, albeit in a much, much more colorful way. You stood your ground to take care of the children, often at your own peril. It isn't just one of us that is bullheaded."

"They're children. They deserved better."

"And the adults you sacrificed for? The meals you made for the sick?"

I hadn't remembered talking to anyone about making meals. It had been in one of my journals, though. Weston must've ignored the part where I was venting about being called names when delivering the food. That still annoyed me.

"I wasn't part of a community in the pleasant way, either," she said, "but I was still a part of it. I lived here, it was mine, and I protected it as best I could under the circumstances. I still would."

She really was tenacious.

"Fine. There are parallels in our histories," I relented grumpily.

She chuckled. "There are parallels, even if you don't fully grasp them all yet. Aurelia, my point is..." She faced me. "When I took my place at Nyfain's side, it was to fight for this kingdom. It was to fight for what I believe in, for a better place, a stronger, more cohesive community. Every day I work toward this kingdom's prosperity. I want everyone well, want everyone as happy as possible. I want this place to thrive. When you ultimately choose your path, you need to choose what will make you the happiest. You need to choose what you're most passionate about. With hard work and perseverance, everything else will fall in line."

She paused, making sure she had my full attention.

"Don't settle for what is handed to you. Take what you want and make no apologies about it to anyone."