1. Weston

Chapter 1

Weston

" W hen someone asks you for a ball peen hammer, do you then take out a steel mace and repeatedly hit them over the head with it?" my wolf asked as I walked away from Aurelia.

She stood on the deck of the ship, watching the distance grow between herself and the only member of family she thought she possessed. Granny was alive and had made contact before I could get Aurelia out of this kingdom and away from her greedy grasp. Things just got a whole lot more... delicate.

Saying I felt sick to my stomach was an understatement.

"I wasn't lying," I replied. " I did betray her. At first I did it on purpose, when I didn't really care about her emotions. Then I did it out of fear. She should know the truth."

"She's open-minded. She would've listened to the truth, not your self-loathing summary of it, you moron. Turn around and go back to her. Explain everything to her. She has been very patient with you so far. That won't last forever."

"It shouldn't. I don't deserve it."

I could feel my wolf seething within me. "Turn around and go back, you miserable prick, or I will assume this body and do it for you. Be there for her. She's a smart woman who has been ruthlessly manipulated and abused from a very young age by someone she trusted. Someone she thought of as family. She's probably damn confused right now. Granny twisted that woman's head all up with lies, torture, and then gifts. Whatever was in that note probably is an extension of the abuse. It'll be hard for her to steer her way out of that by herself. She needs support."

Yes, she did, but the support she needed right now wasn't mine. I'd damned myself in her eyes. In my own eyes, as well. I'd betrayed my true mate—someone I should be protecting at all costs. It killed me, searing my insides with regret and remorse. No, from me, she needed the truth. Her support right now would come from her budding friendships, people I would also use to help me steer the situation in a way that would hurt Aurelia as little as possible.

Hadriel stood at the bow, leaning over the edge, moaning. He was not great on the water.

"Already?" I asked, stopping beside him. "We've barely left the docks."

The captain of the ship walked up and motioned at me, needing a word. I nodded but didn't move. This had to be seen to before I checked in on the pack and crew.

"Why the fuck haven't they invented a boat that doesn't rock?" Hadriel asked, groaning again. "I should've taken Finley's elixir a half-hour earlier. It hasn't kicked in yet. Fucking boats. Fucking waves. Fucking fuck!"

He groaned again and leaned farther over the side.

"I need you to pull it together. Granny made an appearance."

"What?" He straightened up, wobbled, and gripped the handrail. His knuckles turned white. "What do you mean, ‘she made an appearance'? Did she try to board?"

"No. She made a show of waving goodbye. She threw on a red cloak at the end of the docks. She must've seen Aurelia looking out, obviously looking for her, but waited to catch her attention. Then she waved."

"A red cloak?" He put a hand to his stomach and turned toward the water for a moment. After a deep breath, he turned back. "Like that one Aurelia was captured in? Tanix had to take it off her when he was tying her up because it was getting in the way."

I thought back, only vaguely remembering what he talked about. I hadn't paid much attention to her clothes.

Hadriel nodded. "Granny's good, I'll give her that. That was obviously a well-received gift with an emotional connection. She clearly used it to remind Aurelia of their ties. What was in the note?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask."

"You were too busy making a shitshow of the whole situation," my wolf grumbled.

"I'll have a look at it. What do you plan to do?" Hadriel asked.

"I want you and Dante and Nova to give her your time and attention. She might not ask for help, but she'll need it. You need to provide it. After I've checked on everything, I'll tell her the truth and stand in my own judgment. I'll also pull out her wolf so she can heal and get acquainted."

Hadriel turned, groaned again for a moment. "What truths do you plan to tell her?"

The captain cleared his throat, his hands behind his back. I needed to see to my duties.

"What do you mean? I need to tell her everything I've been keeping from her. Why I didn't tell her about Granny, why she feels this connection?—"

"No." Hadriel put up his hand. "Fuck, throw up or don't, you know? This is bullshit." He spat over the side. "All due respect, Alpha, but don't tell her about the true mate thing just yet. She doesn't know what that means. She has zero frame of reference for it and will just view it as more betrayal. She won't realize you were in the same position she was, and she certainly won't realize what absolute hell it was treating a true mate like you did, readying to take her to her death. It's not anything like the Granny thing, which, yes, was definitely pretty shitty and all on you. A true mate bond is special. Don't tie it into you hiding the fact that you faked both the cold-blooded murder of her quasi family member and that you didn't care how she felt."

I stared at him intently, half wanting to throw him overboard. The truth was not a pleasant thing to hear.

My wolf said, "He has a very good point. Not to mention, I want to meet her wolf and establish a bond before the human is told. The wolf will make better sense of it than the human. Then I want all four of us to walk through that situation together, helping the human through her past as a cohesive unit."

He was making a very large assumption that the human would want anything to do with me after this, and that her wolf wouldn't take her side over ours.

Despite the desire to just be done with all the secrets, I found myself nodding. They both made good points. Besides, Aurelia needed to physically heal and deal with her separation from Granny before she took on anything more. She needed a vacation from her life; too bad that was the exact opposite of what would come next.

"Fine. Take care of it," I told Hadriel, knowing he'd do whatever he wanted anyway. Fortunately, he had experience in these matters. I was damn lucky he'd wanted a break from castle life to visit his home kingdom. It felt fated, somehow.

Hadriel

Once Finley's seasickness elixir started to work, I pushed away from the railing and wobbled my way down the gangplank or whatever the fucking side of the ship was called and tried to find Aurelia. I hated ships and boats and large spans of water. It made me question why I'd come on this rotten trip, with all its bugs and trees and sticks poking my balls.

Aurelia wasn't at the back of the ship, nor the front. Fuck.

Taking a deep breath, I went toward her room. Seasickness was always worse on the inside of this stupid vessel.

The door to her and the alpha's chambers was closed. I knocked lightly.

"Pretty bold," my wolf said, "putting her in his quarters when she probably hates the sight of him."

"Hate or anger or desire, they've always been in the same space. She craves the proximity as much as he does. I'm wondering what's going to happen when they get to the castle and she gets put in the dungeon."

"They wouldn't."

"How do I fucking know what they'll do? Finley is pissed about the drugs, and she gets crazy when she's pissed. We might all have to ride it out until she can be talked around."

My wolf did the equivalent of rolling his eyes. He didn't believe me.

Truthfully, I doubted the royalty would shove Aurelia into the dungeon once they learned she was Alpha's true mate. Not only would that be cruel to their prized commander, but there were plenty of us who would speak on her behalf. Finley might be unpredictable when pissed, but she listened to reason.

Still, I hated being sick, I was in a shit mood, and if I wanted to talk about horrible fates involving dungeons, I fucking would.

No answer came from within the room.

"I am not the alpha," I called through the door, "and I am still feeling sick and fucking terrible. Can I come in without you hurting me in some way?"

"I'm not going to get up," I heard.

That didn't trouble me.

The quarters were as fine as they ever were: fit for a king and queen. Which on a ship meant all of fucking nothing. The quarters were no better than a decent inn.

"Hello, my darling. How are you faring?" I closed the door behind me and crossed to the table and chairs at the end of the room.

Aurelia lay on the bed, over the covers, limbs straight, staring at the ceiling. Her expression was devoid of feeling, but I knew it was a survival mechanism. She was trying to shut down the gut punch of emotional pain, probably confusion, and certainly the sting of betrayal.

"Are we doing okay?" I hazarded.

"Did you know?" she asked softly. She still held the note in her hand.

"I heard that first night, yes. I was told to be on my guard—that Granny and her chief bruiser had escaped." I wanted to talk about the body they'd found but felt that could come after she acclimated to this. Granny's shenanigans left a lot to unpack, and Aurelia would need to take it a bit at a time.

"Why didn't you tell me? Did Weston ask you not to?"

"He didn't mention it, but I heard from the others why the decision was made not to tell you. He'll explain all that to you. I think what we really need to focus on is the fact that she lives, yes? Your found family member still lives. Aren't you thrilled?"

A tear leaked out of her eye. "I should be. I mean, I am..." She continued to stare at the ceiling.

Curious response.

"May I?" I stood and reached my hand out so she would see it with her peripheral vision.

She held out her hand so I could easily grab the note.

I stalled in the middle of my walk back to the table and instead headed to the small, ineffective window. Fuck this elixir. It wasn't half as good as Finley's other medicinal stuff was. This was a joke of some sort, and I was certainly the punch line.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Seasick." I burped and thought about visiting the toilet.

"They have medicine for that."

"Oh really? I live in a hole, I hadn't known," I said sarcastically. It was possible I might not be the best one to support her in her time of need.

Thankfully, she chuckled, not at all offended. "I think you mean that you live in a cave. Or maybe a small village cut off from larger society and the world as a whole, with no new ideas and no real way to get out."

When I glanced back, another tear was falling.

I steeled myself against reading on a moving ship and scanned the page, reading as quickly as possible. I didn't know if the resulting nausea was because of the moving ship or the fucking letter.

A hard knot formed in my chest. What a fucking message. Only a miserable dickhole would write something like that.

I toiled in finding your strengths and, once I did, built an empire around the only thing you were good at.

The only thing she was good at? That was rich. Had that fuckstain never tasted Aurelia's cooking? Or realized the intelligence it took for her to reverse-engineer those drugs already being sold? She could have done that with medicine, or any other fucking thing. But no, Granny chose drugs—because there was a big profit without any real risk of blowback. Someone dies or gets sick from drugs they got at the shadow market? Big deal, they shouldn't have been in those markets in the first place, because everyone knows that stuff is sketchy.

And why did Aurelia have to be good at anything, anyway? She'd been a child. Protecting her and making a home for her wasn't supposed to be dependent on what that child could bring to the table. Not in a real, loving situation, at least.

"I'm actually a little pissed," I said in an even tone, continuing to read. I didn't think the alpha would want me to yell and curse when trying to be supportive. "Oh, look. Fabulous, she's blaming a bunch of shit on you. Fantastic."

I'd be a sobbing mess if I got a note like this from Finley or Leala or Vemar back at the castle. Like with Aurelia and Granny, they were my family, though none of them were my blood. But none of those people had ever been a parent figure, either. None had ever had this sort of control over me.

"Why wouldn't she blame me?" Another tear fell down the side of Aurelia's face. "She's right. We worked to find something I could do within the village, and once we did, I labored to excel at it so that she wouldn't be able to get rid of me. I had no reservations about my work. I didn't care that they were drugs. I stood by my product."

"I know. We agreed to disagree about it in the beginning, remember? But that product isn't what is hurting people. Didn't you discover that yourself?"

"She applied the coating to keep the business thriving, which in turn kept me with a safe home. I didn't create it, but I am the motivation behind it. It's in the letter."

I huffed. "Bullshit! Aurelia, that is utter bullshit and you know—" I hesitated. "No, maybe you don't know it. All you saw was her tiny cottage. You didn't see her massive, sprawling estate near the castle and all her servants and the vast network she is bribing to sell her product, including the king and queen. If you were the motivation, she would be pouring gold into your pockets. She'd be setting you up for life. Instead, she's deprived you of almost everything, and given you small gifts to keep you happy and on the hook while she spends the bulk of the fortune on herself. With just your product and no coating, it's true she would make less. But it's only been in the last three years that the product has become so addictive and dangerous. In those three years, the business has soared. Have you seen any extra?"

She hesitated, turning her head to look at me, her gaze troubled. "A lot of extra work. Nothing extra for the village."

"Exactly," I said softly. "She—and you, and the rest of the village—were kept just fine with the nonlethal product you were making. It wasn't because of you that she took it to the next level. If you want to blame yourself for your product as you made it, fine. But do not blame yourself for the coating that almost killed you. Okay? It's fucking ridiculous. She stole your design because it's eye-catching and artistic and she clearly lacks the talent—look, there's another thing you're good at! Art. She changed that design because you can't have a fairy on it and have it sold by a wolf. She used your situation to get cheap labor. That's it. Romanticize her gifts, but do not romanticize the organization."

I'd tried so hard to keep the whole thing level, but I felt like shit, and this note and her situation was fucking garbage.

"Fancy a walk outside?" I asked hopefully.

"I could. I'm sore, though. I'd really rather not."

"You and your busted face and ribs. You're worse off than me. Fuck. Fine." I rolled my eyes at her laughter. "It's more fun when you're on the shit end of the jokes."

"Isn't it just."

I smiled despite myself and pointed at part of the letter. "She's blaming you for getting taken captive, huh? Wow. That's... charming."

"He did tell me to run and hide, but where was I going to go? No one in that village would hide me, I knew you'd search my house, and outside... you'd sniff me out. There was nowhere pre-planned."

"Pre-planning wouldn't have meant dick. We had that place locked down, and, as you now know, the alpha is excellent at his job. He would've found you. This way, though, you at least got to stick a few people with an axe. I call that a win."

"Silver lining."

"Sparkly silver lining, yes. What else have we got here...?" I scanned the note. "Evasive measures," I murmured with a hush. That was a nice term for killing an innocent in your stead to buy a little more time.

The pack had found where that innocent had been kept. Not pretty.

Aurelia could hear about that another day.

"Bring you in safely, sure," I said, finally starting to feel just a bit better. "Trap you again, more like. And I'll guarantee you Alexander didn't get punished for beating the shit out of you. He got punished for not getting you out. This woman is very good with honeyed words. No, I think she trained him exactly as she intended to. He is her number one in that organization. She trusts him above all others."

"Yeah," she said softly.

My heart cracked a little at the broken tone in her voice, and I lowered the note, turning for my chair.

"Tell me what's on your mind," I said, sitting back down.

"A lot, actually."

"I've got nothing but time and an inclination to never travel by boat again. Hit me with it."

She sighed, still staring at that ceiling. "She's always spoken to me the way she did in that letter. My usual response is ‘I'll do better.' And I always have."

She paused for a moment.

"It's the last line that is tormenting me. I've wanted to hear her tell me she loves me for... forever. The only person who has ever said it before was my mom. And to do it after blaming me for getting captured, and the product, and for not knowing she was trying to rescue me...? How the fuck could I have known any of that, you know? Yet she makes me feel responsible for all the horror I didn't know was happening. The letter makes me feel like I'm in her debt, and then she finally slams home the one thing I've always craved. It feels... cheap." The tears that had been building finally spilled down her face. "Not real. Like she knew it would be the carrot in front of the donkey. It hurts."

"And the red riding cloak she wore," I said. "Sending Alexander to pick you up in that town instead of coming herself..."

"I hadn't thought about the last, but yeah. I don't feel..." She began to cry a little harder, wincing and resting a hand on her side. "I don't feel like she means it, and it's killing me. Was my life a lie, Hadriel? Was it all one big lie?"

Seeing her so sad was killing me . "No, love. It wasn't. It was the life you needed to live at the time, waiting for us to come and find you." I managed to offer a weak smile. "Sometimes we must travel through the darkness to appreciate the dawn—or some fucking inspirational quote like that. A smart person once said something similar, and I've probably dick-slapped it sideways."

She took a deep breath, and I knew it hurt her to do so. "I've asked myself if I would have said no to that coating."

I crossed an ankle over my knee, watching her quietly.

"She would've explained it in a way that sounded great. She might've even told me there would be a little sickness, but that it would help our business. Would I have put my foot down?"

I could hear the guilt in her voice, the helpless ache of being in a situation she had no control over. She worried she would've. She had locked down in her mind that she was responsible for the drugs, whether because of motivation, because she didn't know about it when she thought she should have, or because she assumed she would've been okay with it if Granny said they should do it.

I knew the answer, though, and I knew deep down that she did, too.

"No," I said firmly. "If you had been told a real account of what that coating did or heard about how dangerous it turned out to be, you would have stopped it. I know that without a doubt. I know it because I saw it when you woke up from nearly dying and tried it again. I know it because you are hellbent on fixing it. I know it because you may have done some questionable things in your life—which are much less questionable than many of mine, might I add—but you've always tried to help those less fortunate or those who were vulnerable. You are not the villain, Aurelia. Not in this story. Not yet."

"Not yet?"

I grinned at her even though she was still staring at the ceiling in misery.

"No, love, not yet. Soon, though. The second you get over the heartache and grow into your personal power, you're going to own your world, you're going to tear that organization down, and I'm going to laugh with glee while you do it."

She turned her head to look at me. "But... I don't want to hurt her. I don't want to hurt Granny. I want to ask her some questions, a whole lot of whys , and maybe I want to go my own way, but I don't want to hurt her."

"You don't have to hurt her, love, but you do have to burn that harmful organization to the ground."

She paused for a beat. "I know."

I'd never been prouder of her.

Before I changed the topic to less doom-worthy things, she said in a small voice, "She said she'd come for me. She said she has people everywhere. I... I want to talk with her, and maybe I will want to go if she agrees to reconcile and change, but I don't want to be forced into a life I don't want to lead. But in my gut, I know that her first inclination will be to try to do just that." More tears rolled down her cheeks.

The last lines of that letter had given me goosebumps. It was a threat if I'd ever read one.

"Don't worry about that, my darling," I said in all seriousness. "If you don't want to go, she won't be able to force you."

"How do you figure?"

"Because the alpha will turn villain and burn her world to the ground if she tries."