17. Bristol

Chapter 17

Bristol

Stunned, I stared at Maddox as I tried to process his words. Emotions rushed through me as I struggled to settle on the correct one in response.

Disbelief stood at the forefront. Yes, we'd had incredible sex. Once. But after that, he'd turned into a jealous buffoon. There were flashes of tenderness which were quickly erased by a sexual suggestion. How was I supposed to believe that something deeper lurked beneath the surface between us, especially in his mind?

Then there was compassion. The look on his face, his physical reaction when I explained that he'd shoved me hard enough to knock me on my ass and leave a mark in his quest to rearrange Nix's pretty-boy face. Maddox was devastated at the thought of hurting me. It was mildly intriguing, considering I'd spent the past three years being treated like shit and expected to be grateful for the privilege.

Next came hope. Hope that I'd found one of those hidden gems like my best friend and her found family. A hockey player—or a former one, in this case—who could treat women right, who saw them as more than merely objects to achieve sexual gratification .

Finally, fear settled in my heart. What if this was a case of right person, wrong time? Dakota wrote plenty of stories about that heartbreaking scenario. Could Maddox be the perfect guy for me, but our circumstances stood in the way? It was too terrifying to ponder that fate was involved, showing me what I could have but leaving it just out of reach. If so, it was a cruel joke. Hadn't I suffered enough?

Captivating green eyes seared into my soul as his hand on my face held me immobile.

"Bristol, love, say something," Maddox begged.

Him calling me love nearly had me moaning. My body was responding, even as my mind remained uncertain.

Darting my tongue out, I licked my lips, and his eyes tracked the movement as his Adam's apple bobbed on a swallow.

My voice sounded strange to my ears, raspy and breathy. "Do you mean everything you just said?"

I slammed my eyes shut, too afraid to hear that it had been another line aimed at getting me back into bed.

"Look at me." When I didn't obey, he pleaded softly, "Please, Bristol."

Steeling my nerves, I forced myself to open my eyes, gasping when I viewed the intensity in his.

His hand slid from my chin, over my cheek, and into my hair. "I meant every word."

To emphasize his point, his face drew close to mine. His gaze dipped to my lips, and the air grew thick. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about our night together. If he had turned out to be anyone other than Maddox Sterling or another member of the Indy Speed, would it have taken this long to reconnect, to see if our explosive chemistry extended beyond one drunken night? Probably not.

And if that was the only thing holding me back . . .

Fuck it. I deserve this.

I launched myself into his arms, and our lips crashed together. At the first swipe of his tongue, it felt like coming home. This was where I always belonged.

Maddox groaned into my mouth when I climbed onto his lap, shoving his shoulders back against the couch. His hands rose to cup my breasts over the thin fabric of my tank top, thumbing the pebbled nipples straining for his touch. I broke our kiss as my head dropped back on a gasp as he pinched and pulled at them, the bolts of pleasure shooting straight between my thighs, stirring an ache I knew only he could ease.

My hips were restless, seeking friction as his massive erection grew beneath his fly. Cool air met with fevered skin when my top was removed, but it wasn't enough. I was burning up, so hot for the man beneath me that I feared I would combust. Our spark was ready to ignite, and I was desperate to let it consume us.

The tip of his tongue traced around my exposed nipple, teasing before latching on. He sucked and bit those sensitive peaks until I was mindless, my hands threading through his hair and holding him close, never wanting this to end.

When Maddox pulled away, I whimpered at the loss, but he smiled against my skin. "Look at you all needy for me." His hands slid to my hips, rocking me over his lap. "Do you know how long I've dreamt of having you back in my arms?"

My head thrashed, eyes sealed shut against the warmth spreading out from between my thighs, getting ready to erupt.

"Too long. Since the minute I left your bed weeks ago."

I moaned when he latched onto the opposite nipple, giving it the same attention .

"Maddox, please." I wasn't above begging. I needed more than dry humping on my couch.

"Fuck." He groaned. "Hearing you say my name is better than I imagined it in my head."

"Take me to bed," I breathed out. "Maybe you'll hear me scream it too."

In an instant, I was lifted, and we were moving across the room. The house was small, so it didn't take long before I was dropped onto my bed. I shimmied out of my leggings and panties as he wrenched off his tie and went to work on the buttons of his dress shirt.

Completely sober, unlike last time, I watched his private strip show, biting my lip as more of his muscular body was revealed. He might not play anymore, but he hadn't been slacking off in the gym. Not that I could tell, anyway.

He gave me a cocky smirk. "Like what you see, love?"

"God, yes." I slid a hand between my thighs, desperate for relief. As good as my fingers felt rubbing tight circles over my clit, I knew having his touch would be better.

"Bristol." His voice became strained as his jaw clenched and his eyes flared. "You are so fucking beautiful."

His seemingly genuine words only heightened my arousal.

Look at you. Being a slut for a few compliments.

Well, can you blame me? No man has ever taken the time to offer them before.

That was all I needed—my subconscious reminding me that it had been a steady stream of losers before the man who stood before me half-naked.

They were in the past. They didn't belong here.

Shaking the bad memories away, I continued to touch myself as Maddox undid his belt and shucked his pants. Clad only in boxer briefs, he approached where I lay .

Sinking to his knees beside the bed, he said in a husky voice, "Allow me," as he tugged my hand away from my pussy before replacing it with his tongue.

I jolted at the intense sensation, and he chuckled against my core.

"So responsive," he murmured before licking a path up my slit, focusing his attention on my throbbing clit.

My back bowed off the bed as he drew me higher and higher. Maddox pinned my hips with one forearm, holding me in place as he feasted between my thighs, seemingly deaf to my sobs echoing throughout the room as I shattered because he didn't stop. No, he held me down as his teeth latched onto my clit, his tongue flicking furiously as he slid two fingers inside, roughly fucking me with his hand.

Screaming, I came a second time. This time, the pressure was so intense in the buildup that when it released, there was a rush of warmth between my legs as tears leaked from my eyes. It was unlike anything I'd ever felt before, and it stole my breath away.

Maddox finally released his grasp and pulled away, but not far as his breath still fanned my slick flesh. The tiny puffs of air were almost too much, targeted where I was overly sensitive from two mind-blowing orgasms.

His head dropped to rest on my mound as our breathing leveled out.

"I'll buy you a new mattress tomorrow."

"What?" I lifted my heavy head to stare at him.

Peering up, his green eyes sparkled like emeralds, and a wolfish grin curved on his lips. "Pretty sure you soaked right through it when you squirted."

In disbelief, I scooched further up the bed, eyes growing wide when I saw the massive damp spot where my hips had once been.

"No." I shook my head. "I'm mean—No. I don't do that. "

Maddox crawled over it and closer to me, propping himself up on an elbow when he reached my side. His chest was slick, and he grabbed my hand, placing it directly over where his heart was slowly returning to a normal rhythm. "Damn near waterboarded me, woman." I was mortified, but his face was filled with an amused grin. "Not a bad way to die, though."

I wrenched my hand away. "Stop. It's not funny."

"You're right. It's not funny. It was hot as hell. I'll be reliving it for years to come when I'm stroking myself in the shower. Spank bank sufficiently filled thanks to you."

When I only stared at him, with my face flaming to the point where I knew it had to be beet red, he lifted my hand to his lips, kissing the palm. "Did you need any further proof that you've only been dealing with boys before now?"

Jesus. When he puts it like that . . .

Not that I needed him to drive the point home, but Maddox chose that moment to shift his weight so his impressive length brushed my thigh. At some point, he'd shed his underwear, and I took advantage, reaching down a hand to grip him tightly.

Maddox groaned at my touch, his eyes sliding closed. When I realized my fingers couldn't meet around his girth, I peeked down to confirm he was as large as I remembered. Yep, the man could put porn stars to shame. My core clenched, remembering how sore I was after our last encounter, but I eagerly anticipated experiencing that feeling again.

"Definitely a man," I purred, stroking him.

His breathing hitched when I lowered down the bed to lick a path up the underside of his cock. Maddox anchored a fist in my hair but let me take him inside my mouth at my own pace. Pulling the crown between my lips, I gave a strong suck as I continued to run my hand up and down the base. I fought back a satisfied smirk at his strangled cry .

Unlocking my jaw, I took him deeper; my lips stretched to the max, the corners burning. But it was worth it to hear the sounds of pleasure rumbling from above. As he said, he was a man, not a boy, and there was an implication that he was experienced. I took it as a personal challenge to make him unravel, to know that I could please an older man. Lord knows I could use a confidence boost after the shitshow of the last twenty-four hours.

Maddox's hips rocked slightly, easing him further down my throat. Sliding one hand around to grip his ass, I pulled him closer, moaning as I took him deep enough that it triggered my gag reflex, but I battled against it, knowing my throat muscles massaging his sensitive head would drive him wild.

And I was right.

Maddox let out a guttural groan as he struggled to hold back. "Fuck, Bristol. Your hot little mouth is gonna make me come."

I hummed around his shaft, wanting nothing more than to witness him losing control. Heat pooled low in my belly. Pleasuring him, hearing him say my name like a prayer, was the ultimate turn-on.

Shoving him onto his back, I let his dick slide free as I straddled his thighs.

Staring down at him from above, I was struck by how truly gorgeous he was. His sweaty skin glistened, each muscle defined as his chest heaved with the ragged breaths he took. Dark hair fell over his forehead, and the tiniest hint of a five o'clock shadow graced his sharp jaw.

Placing my hands on his abs, I bit back a smile when those muscles tensed beneath my fingertips. I walked them up his chest until my body was flush with his, my hands toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Beside his ear, I asked, "You wanna come in my mouth or on my tits? "

Hands gripped my shoulders, forcing me back enough that Maddox could see my face. Time stood still as we stared at each other. The intensity of his green gaze had me squirming, shifting my hips over his eager cock. Our faces were so close that we were breathing the same air, and suddenly, I didn't want there to be any space between us. I wanted us to be one.

"Fuck me, Maddox," I demanded, effectively nullifying my earlier offer.

There was the tiniest flash of something I couldn't place across his face, but it was gone so quickly that I wondered if I'd imagined it.

Before I could blink, I was flipped onto my back, Maddox's hulking frame lurking above me.

"Is this what you want, baby?" His voice was gravelly as his cock traced a path over my seam.

"Yes," I hissed, arching my hips, trying to draw him closer.

The blunt head of his dick nudged at my entrance, and I writhed on the bed, desperate for him to slam inside, to pummel my pussy like he had before. The memory of it was still so vivid in my mind but could never compare to the experience itself.

"Please, Maddox. I need you."

A rumbling hum came from deep within his chest as he maneuvered just the tip over my pussy, teasing me with it.

If his aim was to heighten the pleasure with anticipation, it was working. I could feel my arousal leaking onto the sheets beneath my ass. I wasn't sure I'd ever been so wet, so desperate to be claimed.

I let out a sigh of relief when the head of his cock slipped barely an inch inside. Finally, he was going to put me out of my misery.

When he slipped out again, I whined, needy and desperate to be dicked down.

The bed shifted, and Maddox said, "I don't think you're ready for this."

Wait, what ?

It took a second for the words to filter through the lust-induced haze overtaking my brain. But when I opened my eyes, I saw him standing by the side of the bed as he pulled on his boxer briefs.

"What the fuck? Are you leaving?" I didn't bother to hide my outrage. After all the shit he said to get me back into bed, he was going to walk away before finishing the job?

Maddox kept his eyes on me as he bent to retrieve his pants. "I didn't come here for this."

Was that him saying he didn't want it? He sure acted like he was enjoying himself. Especially when he went down on me without prompting.

Suddenly feeling exposed, I pulled the blanket resting at the foot of the bed around my naked body.

He sighed, running a hand through his thick hair after fastening his belt buckle. "I don't want it to feel like I'm taking advantage of you, Bristol."

"You're not," I protested. "I was consenting. You didn't force anything on me." Meeting his tortured gaze, I said for good measure, "I want you, Maddox."

He shook his head. "You think you do, but it's because you're reeling after seeing your ex. You think that sleeping with me will help you forget about what happened."

I cringed, knowing his assessment was partially true. Yes, I wanted to forget about Nix and all of his bullshit, but I also wanted Maddox because of what we'd previously shared.

"I'm done playing games," he declared. "So, I'm gonna be straight with you. It'll break me if you wake up tomorrow and push me away again. I don't want to turn into another one of your regrets."

All I could do was clutch the blanket closer to my chest as he slid his arms through his shirt sleeves and began to button the front .

"I think there's something here between us beyond casual sex. And I'm interested in exploring that. Until you're sure that's what you want too, I can't agree to take this further. I'm walking away now in hopes that we can have a future. I'm sorry if that's upsetting, but it's how I feel."

Was he fucking kidding me? He was willing to walk away from a guaranteed offer of sex?

Because he wants something more. Isn't that what you want too?

Honestly, I wasn't sure what I wanted anymore. The pain of having my heart broken was too fresh; the wound ripped open last night at seeing Nix. Maddox was right about one thing: casual sex wasn't the cure. But there was no guarantee that jumping into another relationship was either.

Stepping forward, he knelt on the bed, coming close enough to cup my cheek. Softly, he said, "You deserve to be the center of a universe. And if I'm being honest, you're starting to become the center of mine." He huffed out a wry laugh. "I almost threw away my coaching career for you without a second thought. And I would do it again in a heartbeat." I leaned into his touch. "But you're not there yet. And that's okay. I'm happy to wait until you've shed the past. I'm a patient man."

Maddox pressed his lips to mine quickly before pulling back.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow." He dipped his chin and left the room. A few minutes later, I heard my front door latch and knew he was gone.

I was torn between melting into a puddle at his words or being pissed that he'd left me hanging. Anger—or more accurately, frustration—won out with the persistent throbbing between my thighs, a reminder of how close I'd been before he walked away.

A switch was flipped, and the weak woman Nix left behind was gone.

Maddox made a point of saying he was done with games, but in reality, he'd laid down a challenge. Maybe he was playing hard to get after I'd rejected him too many times, wanting me to experience how it felt to beg .

Oh, there would be no begging. Not from me. Not after tonight.

I'd have him on his knees by the time I was done with him. No man was so strong they could walk away more than once. I was determined to push the boundaries of his restraint.

I knew one thing for sure: I wouldn't be the one with regrets.

After getting a much-needed assist from one of my handy helpers since Maddox had failed to finish the job, I pulled up the covers and reached for my phone. The orgasm helped to relax my body, but my mind still churned after the events of the evening.

Most people had their parents as the top number on their speed dial, but mine was Dakota. If anyone knew how to flip the script on Maddox, it would be her.

The phone rang on speaker as I lay in bed.

After a few rings, there was a breathless "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

There was a muffled male voice in the background, which I could only assume belonged to Braxton. Dakota said to him, "It's Bristol."

Braxton's voice became clearer as he asked, "Is she okay?"

"I'm fine," I spoke loudly, hoping he could hear me through her earpiece.

I heard the unmistakable smack of lips before he said to Dakota, "I'm going to get water."

It dawned on me exactly what I'd interrupted, and I groaned. "Shit, Dakota. I'm sorry. I assumed you'd still be out with the team after the game."

My best friend sighed into the phone. "Braxton was a little amped up at beating his brother for the first time, so we skipped the team celebration."

I bit back a smile. "Surprised he could wait till you got home." There was a scene in her first hockey book—the one that was about her and Braxton—where the couple had steamy car sex post-game.

"Oh, he couldn't. You caught us on the tail end of round three. He was really excited about the win."

At least one of us was getting thoroughly laid.

Her playful tone morphed into a concerned one. "Braxton's gone. Why don't you tell me what's going on that has you calling me late at night?"

Groaning, I closed my eyes. "Maddox came over tonight."

"Oh yeah?" Hope lit up her voice.

"Don't get too excited," I grumbled.

Dakota huffed. "The man threw down for you last night. He's made his feelings clear. Why do you keep fighting it?"

"Oh, trust me. I wasn't the one fighting it."

There was a beat of silence on the other end of the line. "I don't understand. What happened?"

I blew out a heavy breath. "Let's see. He came over, said he wanted to check on me and to apologize."

"Awww." I could hear her heart melting.

"Yeah, I know. And that's got nothing on him begging me to give him a chance. That he wanted to cherish and worship me."

Dakota sucked in a sharp breath. "Does that mean—"

I cut her off. "It means nothing. Because we went into the bedroom, and everything was amazing . Like seriously, the guy acts like he might die if he doesn't get to go down on me."

Dakota giggled, and my cheeks heated, remembering why I was purposely avoiding one side of my mattress.

"Um, random question, and then we'll get back to the story, but have you ever squirted before?"

A gasp came through the line. "No! Have you—Did you?"

I threw my hands over my flaming face even though she couldn't see me, thus muffling my reply, "Yes."

She squealed, "Holy shit! Damn, Maddox. Might need to have him give Braxton a few pointers. Not that he needs any help, but sheesh. Talk about leveling up, Bristol."

"Well, that part at least was great, albeit a little shocking," I admitted.

"I'm still waiting to hear the bad part. There is a bad part, yes?"

"He walked away." The sharp pang of rejection settled in my chest at the memory.

"What do you mean he walked away?" she asked, confused.

"I mean that he was right there , literally a thrust away from being inside me, when he stopped, put on his motherfucking pants, and ended it."

"That man has been a jealous fool for weeks, even over Braxton. And you're telling me he finally gets what he wants—you—and doesn't take it? That doesn't make any sense. Did he say why?"

This was where I was going to lose her; I knew that. That girl was all about the romance. And she didn't just live it; she wrote it.

"He said that he didn't want to be a regret in the morning—a knee-jerk reaction to Nix's reappearance. He wants more with me. And that he was walking away so we can have a real chance when I am finally ready."

I braced for the emotional reaction, and Dakota didn't disappoint .

"That's literally the sweetest thing," she gushed.

"No. It's not sweet," I snapped. "What he did was the literal definition of being a cock tease!" I defended my outrage, knowing it would fall on deaf ears.

"I can appreciate that you're upset over being denied an orgasm." I could hear the smirk in her voice.

"Don't patronize me," I warned.

"Fine, then I won't. I'll be straight with you because that's what you need right now. You both know what's at stake if you sleep together again. It's smart for him to be sure that you're not risking either of your careers for a fling. Because if you do this, you'll both have to come clean at some point. It can't stay hidden; that'll only make it worse when it gets out. Do you think any of those other jerks you've been with would care? They'd take what they want and throw you under the bus to come out as clean as a whistle."

I hummed, knowing she was right but not ready to admit it. Wasn't I allowed to have my moment to be upset first?

"And let's take a minute to discuss the level of restraint it took for him to walk away. Especially if penetration was imminent."

"Can you not say penetration?" I groaned. "It's weird."

"Look, I work in words about sex. Everyone wants words wiped out of books, but guess what? For every word that someone hates, someone else likes it. If I compiled a list of all the ick words for every person, I would have none left to use. It's the technical term based on your description. Deal with it."

"Ugh, you've made your point. Yes, that's exactly where we were. The man was playing a game of ‘just the tip'."

Dakota snorted. "Right. Most men wouldn't be able to stop at that point if you asked them. "

"Oh, is Braxton one of those men to claim that he's past the point of no return?" I challenged.

"You know he's not," she shot back sharply.

Yes, I did know that. The sweetest man alive had once offered to stop once he'd already crossed that threshold with my best friend.

Her voice softened. "And that should tell you everything you need to know about Maddox. He's a good man. He's not just looking to rack up the body count in bed or string you along like someone we know. Maybe taking a step back and evaluating what you want from a potential relationship is a good idea."

Frustration still simmered beneath my skin. I couldn't sit idly by and wait for him to decide when I was "ready." How would he know that anyway?

"Or," I hedged, "I can take a page out of Hannah's book."

Her cringe was audible through the phone. "I'm afraid to ask which one."

An evil grin crept onto my face. "The one where she took what she wanted."

Hannah had called to explain what had gone on between her and Maddox after the fight, emphasizing that it occurred years ago. Cal had interrupted them before things could progress too far while they were dancing at the club. Yes, Maddox had slid a hand up her dress, but she put it there. And yes, she'd had her hand on his dick, but only over the clothing. Maddox had bolted at Cal's mention of Hannah's hockey legend father. He wasn't willing to risk his career for her.

But he is for you.

Dakota groaned. "The man is trying to be honorable. Can't you let him have his white-knight moment? "

"I might have been more sympathetic to that before he got me naked and then had a change of heart. Now, I want him to beg for it. He won't be able to walk away twice. Guaranteed."

"So, what's the plan? You make him beg, then give in? Or is this just a way of getting back at him? You need to really think about what you want out of this. Is it just sex, or do you want more? Because you know where he stands. If you don't want the same, you're no better than Nix, using him. And that's not the Bristol I know."

Dammit, why did she have to be so reasonable?

"You're right. I'll think about it. If I decide I want the same thing—to explore a relationship—then you're on board to have a little fun with him?"

"Look at who you're talking to. I love it when a woman brings a man to his knees. If —and that's a big if—you decide you're interested in Maddox for more than a little fun between the sheets, I'll even help you."

"Deal. Now, enjoy the rest of your night celebrating with your softie of a hockey hunk. Sorry again for interrupting."

"Eh. It's not like pausing for twenty minutes will kill him," she teased. "Never be sorry. You've always been there for me, and I will never not pick up when you call. Day or night. Promise."

"Thanks, Dakota. Love you."

"Love you too."

We hung up, and I felt marginally better. Dakota was right. Taking sex out of the equation was important. While it was a critical part of determining compatibility with a man, it shouldn't be the determining factor—case in point: Nix. We had chemistry in bed—though nothing compared to what I'd shared with Maddox—but he was a shitty human being. What separated the men from the boys was whether they could stand by your side when life got tough, if they could help carry your burdens when they grew too heavy to handle alone.

If I really thought about it, Maddox had tried to do that. Some might view his fight with Nix as irrational jealousy over an ex-boyfriend, but it was more than that. He wanted to protect me from the man who tore me down and made me feel like less. He wanted to prove to me that I was worth more than a casual fuck.

I was scared—scratch that, I was terrified —of what opening up my heart might mean, but Maddox had given me no reason to doubt him. As upset as I was that he'd left me wanting tonight, I couldn't deny Dakota's point that a lesser man wouldn't have stopped. They would have sought sexual gratification, not caring about what came after. That alone set Maddox apart.

If I needed further proof, there was that first road trip with the team, when he was there for me. I could only imagine Nix telling me how dramatic I was being and to suck it up. But not Maddox. He'd taken care of me, not only in calming my panic and talking through my fears, but after we landed, when he'd demanded that I be treated for my self-inflicted wounds.

The evidence was mounting that Maddox was unlike any man I'd encountered. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized he deserved a fair chance to show me what an equal partnership looked like.

But not before I had a little fun with him first . . .