Chapter 20
CHAPTER 20
“ Y our Grace, I have come to fetch you for dinner. The Duchess awaits your company,” the butler announced.
Hector paused then his fingers deftly fastened the last button on his sleeve. “Not this evening,” he replied, shaking his head. “I would like to go out for a while.”
I cannot trust myself around my wife right now.
“Shall I summon the coachman, Your Grace?” Worthington inquired, already turning around.
“No need.” Hector dismissed him with a wave of his hand. “I shall ride today. I think Blueberry and I shall benefit from some time away from the estate. Inform the stable boy.”
With a quick bow, the butler left to carry out the order, leaving Hector alone with his thoughts.
Hector gazed longingly in the direction of the dining room. He was almost tempted to stop there on his way out.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Not right now.”
He strode out of the house moments later, his boots crunching against the courtyard gravel as he made his way to the stables. He breathed in the scent of hay and leather and sighed deeply, finding comfort in its pure simplicity.
“Your Grace, Blueberry has been prepared for your ride,” announced Michael, the stable boy.
He seemed determined to accompany the Duke and was dressed in his riding attire.
“Good. I am heading south.”
“All right, Your Grace. I shall be right behind you.” Michael led the brown horse towards Hector.
Hector mounted his horse, patting Blueberry’s side gently. He leaned in and whispered in his ear, “Off we go, Blueberry,” before encouraging the creature into a run.
The horse neighed as though responding to his command and lurched forward. An exhilarated laugh broke out of Hector, and he inhaled deeply, slightly tightening his grip on the reins. The sound of hooves against the earth brought back the lessons his father had imparted, lessons that once filled him with pride.
Why did he have to surface right now?
Hector remembered the days when he looked up to his father and believed him to be infallible. The old Duke had once been a paragon of strength and honor. Hector had considered his father the finest rider in all of England, a figure to be admired and emulated.
He had taught Hector how to ride, and Hector in turn had taught Lydia, whose love for horses rivaled that of her father’s and brother’s.
But all illusions about his father’s greatness had shattered one fateful night. Hector had returned home unexpectedly late from a friend’s estate. He had wanted to surprise his parents, who had been away for some time. As he entered the house, he was met with a scene that would forever be engraved in his memory.
His father, the man he had idolized, stood over his mother, fists clenched, and rage distorting his usually kind face. The sound of his mother’s cries echoed through the halls and had haunted Hector for years afterwards.
He had been paralyzed by the sight, unable to reconcile his image of the caring, patient man who had taught him many skills and lessons and had shaped him into the person he had become with the monster that loomed before him.
Just as Hector tightened his grip on the reins and readied to spur his horse onwards, he spotted Juliet ahead of him.
He hadn’t been aware that she also liked to ride and had not been informed by any member of the staff that she might prefer to spend her time that way.
She looked graceful, her beautiful fair hair billowing softly in the wind as her horse trotted leisurely forward.
Juliet looked up with a wistful smile on her lips, only for it to evaporate as she set her eyes upon him. For a moment, neither of them said anything then she lifted her hand to wave at him.
“Perhaps we should ride in the other direction,” he said to the stable boy, instead of acknowledging his wife.
Hector did not feel he was in the right frame of mind to be around her.
“Hector, wait!” Juliet called after him.
Hector did not want to run from her, and he was tired of running from his thoughts.
It didn’t matter how fast he rode; he could not escape the bitter truth that had lodged itself in his heart. He would learn that love and cruelty could coexist in the same man.
“Hector, for the love of God, stop!”
The urgency in her voice caused him to pull Blueberry to a stop, confused at why she would snap at him like that.
“What is it, woman?” He turned around to glare at her, completely unsurprised to find her glaring back as she approached him on her horse.
“Why must you insist on being so difficult?” Juliet questioned, her brows furrowed in concern.
“I beg your pardon?”
“A ditch, Hector,” she pointed ahead of him at a spot a few meters away from where they stood. “You were headed for a ditch. I called you to warn you.”
Hector suddenly saw the pit that lay right in his path. Had he continued to ride forward in the direction he’d intended, he would have fallen into it and certainly injured himself greatly in the process.
He turned back to her and saw her gentle concern.
“Are you all right? That would have been truly disastrous had I not gotten to you in time.”
She was far too good for him. Had he been in her shoes, he would have gloated that he had saved her from grave injury, but Juliet cared only for his well-being. She had a goodness inside of her that he didn’t want to taint. Hector wondered how he could prevent himself from hurting her and tarnishing her soul.
His close brush with danger had shaken him, and his impetuous reaction to seeing her reminded him of the fine line that existed between control and chaos. It was a line his father had overstepped on many occasions and that Hector feared he might one day traverse himself.
It is the reason you must avoid me, dear Juliet. I cannot do to you what he did to my darling mother.
“I had no idea you held me in such high regard, Duchess, that you would risk your own well-being to save my life.” He smiled.
“Perhaps I did it for my own benefit. It would be sad if I were to be widowed so soon after our wedding. In addition, I must remark that your response was a poor way of extending your gratitude.” Juliet sniffed, turned her horse around, and headed to the stable.
Hector followed closely, now grinning widely.
“Many would jump at the prospect of being a young widow with a title. You would be well taken care of financially, and you would be able to take another husband after my untimely demise.”
“What would I do with another husband when I can barely manage the troublesome one I have now, dearest Duke?” She smiled sweetly.
Juliet was truly a fascinating person, full of charming details that he had not let himself appreciate.
He thought of the times he’d heard her laugh, the way it had softened the hard edges of his world, and how, for a brief moment, he had felt something akin to happiness.
But then he remembered how he continuously pulled back and let his fears keep him from reaching out to her. His father’s act was a heavy burden which Hector had carried for so long that he feared it had become a part of him.
As they reached the stables, Hector made his decision. He could not let his past dictate his future. He would not allow the ghosts of his father’s sins to haunt his marriage or poison the fragile bond that had formed between himself and Juliet.
He had to do right by her. He had to be better man and husband than his father.
“Take care of the horses,” Hector instructed the stable boy. “Ask the kitchen to give you some apples as a treat for them. They did well today.”
The boy nodded and hurried off. Hector stood there for a moment, the cool breeze tossing his hair. He decided he would no longer pull away from Juliet. He was clearly doing a poor job of hiding his true feelings, and it was high time he stopped pretending otherwise.
He would let her in and see the man he was, flaws and all. As his sister had said, perhaps they could find a way to heal each other’s wounds.
As he left the stables, he saw Juliet waiting for him outside.
“Why are you still here? It is quite cold this evening. You will catch your death if you stay here.”
She looked up at him and smiled. Her cheeks and the tip of her nose were cherry red from the chilly air.
“I was thinking we could walk back together.”
Hector paused for a moment then nodded.
“All right. But let us go quickly, so you do not become ill.”
Juliet gave him a sideways glance. “Why do you sound as though you are worried about me?”
Hector scoffed at her ridiculous assessment.
“You mistake my irritation for worry, dear wife. I do not harbor any fears over you falling ill. I am merely trying to protect myself because you are probably even more unbearable to be around when you are sick.”
“I don’t believe you,” Juliet sang coyly.
“You do not have to. Time will tell all, eventually.” He narrowed his twinkling eyes at her in mock seriousness.
As soon as they walked into the house, Hector beckoned a servant.
“Run a hot bath for the Duchess and prepare a hot cup of tea for her afterwards.”
Juliet watched him with a smile, and after he was done speaking with the servant, she curtsied sweetly.
“Thank you, Your Grace, but I assure you, I do not fall ill easily.”
Hector nodded and pulled a leaf from her hair.
“Be that as it may, it is better to be safe than sorry. Enjoy the rest of your day, Duchess.”
The color that spread over her cheeks was quite beautiful. Not for the first time that day, Hector thought that giving into Juliet might not be such a bad thing after all.
Especially when he heard her call after his retreating form, “And you as well, Duke!”