Chapter Thirteen

Lizzie

" H ow do you feel about pottery?"

Lizzie looked up from the campfire as Kai approached. His eyes, though underscored by dark circles, were still bright with good humor. He dropped his pack and sank to the ground by the fire with a weary sigh.

"You got the fire started." There was warm approval with a hint of pride in his voice, as if the simple task were somehow impressive. He began loosening the laces of his boots.

Though, given how much Lizzie had struggled the first few attempts, it probably did seem impressive.

She focused instead on his first question. "What does pottery have to do with anything?"

Kai leaned back on his hands and stretched his neck from side to side. "I had to spend the last of our money on food." He nodded towards his pack. "That means that we'll need to find a way to earn some more. I asked around, and the potter is looking to hire someone to man his stall while his wife is recovering from having a baby."

Lizzie nodded. It was the same problem of economics that she had encountered upon her arrival in Norditch. "So you're going to do it?"

"Not me. You."

"Me?" Lizzie started. "But I don't know how to sell pottery."

"You know how to handle money. The pottery is already made, and the prices will be posted. All you have to do is accept money and possibly count change. You can do that."

Kai smiled at her, a warm, encouraging expression she was beginning to recognize in the crinkle of his eyes. He looked at her that way often, a mystery she had yet to solve. So much of their relationship was unbalanced—she was well aware that the burden of keeping them both alive had fallen almost completely on Kai's shoulders—and yet he still found some reason to smile at her every day.

Come to think of it, she couldn't remember more than a handful of times over the last two weeks that he hadn't been smiling. She had never met anyone who smiled that much.

Other than Freddy.

She quickly slammed the door on that line of thinking. The regret that surfaced at the thought of his name was becoming more painful, which was nearly as troubling as the fact that she was beginning to feel hints of satisfaction when Kai praised her meager efforts at setting up camp, or the inkling of guilt when she crawled into the tent at night, leaving Kai to roll himself up in his blanket and sleep beside the fire.

Lizzie fought the urge to frown. "What will you be doing?"

"Peters could use some help harvesting and transporting more clay from the river. I assumed that, of the two of us, I would probably be more suited to the grunt work. Unless you would like to try?" His eyes twinkled.

She shook her head. "I would not. It sounds both dirty and likely to require more strength than I am capable of."

Though I suppose it was kind of him to give me the option, even if it was ridiculous.

He nodded, leaning forward and covering a yawn with his hand. "I figured as much. Peters says that we can start first thing in the morning, which means we should eat and then get some rest."

Their dinner was simple—bread and cheese and some fresh wild strawberries that Kai had found on his way back from town—but after a few weeks of eating Norva's travel cakes, Lizzie thought it was more satisfying than any of the extravagant meals she had eaten at her father's table. Lizzie and Kai went through their post-dinner routine in companionable silence, until Kai held up the tent flap as he did every night, like a gentleman holding open a door.

"Good night, Eliza."

"Good night, Kai."

Lizzie crawled into the tent and adjusted her blanket. The ground was still just as hard as it had been the first night, but her body had become used to it, and she found it much easier to find a somewhat comfortable position. Though it was slowly getting warmer as spring progressed and they traveled south, it still took a while before the air in the tent warmed up enough for her muscles to relax.

She could hear the dull thud of wood hitting wood as Kai added another log on the fire, the snap of his blanket as he shook it out to wrap around his shoulders. As cold as she was inside, she knew that her husband must be miserable out by the fire, no matter how much he insisted that it was fine.

She frowned into the darkness above her. He insisted that it was fine, and yet he refused to allow her to switch places. After the first night, he never again suggested that they share, and he never grumbled about setting up a tent every night that he never got to use.

I don't understand him. What is he gaining in all of this?

A gust of wind caused the canvas to billow in on one side like a sail. A soft tapping sound followed, and it took Lizzie a moment to realize that it was starting to rain. Minutes passed, and the rain began falling faster. Every drop that hit the tent was a drop of guilt that started to pool in her belly.

Where is Kai? Surely he's not planning on staying out in this. He won't be of any use tomorrow if he catches a cold from being in the rain all night.

After a few more minutes without any sign of him, Lizzie crawled to the entrance and lifted the flap.

She could see Kai's silhouette in front of the valiantly struggling fire. He was sitting, hunched over, with his blanket thrown over his head like a hood.

"Kai."

He turned immediately at the sound of her voice. "What's wrong? Are you alright? Is the tent leaking?"

"I'm fine, and the tent isn't leaking. You should come in."

She could see his brows drawn together in the dim firelight. "Are you sure?"

She swallowed, hesitating just a moment before answering. "Yes. You can't carry clay if you're sick."

He chuckled. "Very practical of you."

Lizzie scooted over to allow him to fit through the door, suddenly realizing just how small the tent was with two.

Kai sighed in relief. "Thank you, Eliza. I'll try to stay as far away as possible, and I'll get out of your hair as soon as the rain stops. Hopefully it's just a quick shower."

"Won't the ground be wet?"

"I've heard that mud is good for the complexion. I could use all the help I can get."

"Why?"

"Weeks of travel have been hard on my skin."

"No, I mean why would you go back out there? Why do you keep making yourself miserable when there's no benefit to you?"

"I told you: keeping my wife healthy is a benefit."

"You could have insisted on sleeping in here. I wouldn't have stopped you. I don't think I could have."

The darkness was apparently making her bold.

Kai was silent for a long time before he answered. "You're my wife, Eliza, no matter how unconventionally it came about. That means it's my job to protect you."

"You sleep outside because you're afraid you might harm me?"

"No, I sleep outside because you set a clear boundary and I will respect that. Your emotional well-being is just as important as the physical, and I want you to know that you're safe with me."

That's likely what Mother thought as well. They're pretty words, and so far he's upheld them. But what will happen when the novelty of being married has worn off? When we reach his home, and he realizes just how unfit I am to be a housewife?

His next words were gentle. "Not all men are like your father, Eliza."

"Oh? What is yours like, then?"

She grimaced as soon as the question was out of her mouth. Here she was again, giving in to the same strange urge for connection that she had felt at Norva's home. She wrestled with the foreign emotion, shoving it down and slamming the icy door.

No. Why is this happening? There should be no feelings. No feelings, no pain.

"He died around eight years ago, actually." She could hear the sadness that was still present in Kai's voice. "But if I can be half as wise and caring as he was, I will be content. Even if I'm not, though, I need you to know something." His hand suddenly found hers in the darkness.

"What's that?"

" I am not like your father."

No. No feelings. Lizzie said the words firmly to herself. The curse cannot be broken.

But she didn't pull her hand away.

Managing the pottery stall was actually much more successful than Lizzie had expected. The first day brought a steady stream of customers, most out of curiosity to see who the newcomer was than for any real need. For once, her education translated directly into a marketable skill, and she found a sense of satisfaction in being able to confidently and competently manage the small till.

After being assured of her ability, Peters had left her alone while he kept himself busy in his workshop. Kai was in and out, carrying buckets of wet clay from the river and adding them to the stockpile that Peters kept behind his shop. He grew dirtier and dirtier as the day wore on. By the time the shadows started to lengthen and Peters dismissed them for the night, Kai was completely covered in mud, and his beard resembled the snow-frosted fir branches of Norditch.

He slept by the fire again that night, and for the first time, Lizzie thought the small tent felt lonely.

The customers were just as steady the next few days, though Lizzie soon discovered it had less to do with general curiosity as she had first thought, and more to do with her specifically. Word spread that Peters' new assistant looked very much like the youngest princess of Nedra, and soon Lizzie was finding herself the subject of unabashed staring and ogling. She was grateful for the curse that allowed her to stare back, unaffected.

The sun was just at its highest point on her third day, and Lizzie had just finished counting change into a customer's hand when a shout from nearby drew their attention. A braying donkey careened through the crowd, kicking and spinning as it went. She realized just in time that it was headed straight for the pottery stall and was able to jump out of the way before the whole thing came crashing down. The sound of ceramics shattering on the ground was deafening, and, combined with the general chaos that the out-of-control animal had caused, Lizzie didn't see her kidnappers coming.

Rough hands seized her from behind, clamping around her shoulders and over her mouth when she tried to scream.

"Might as well grab the till, while we're at it." The voice behind her was raspy, though not quite low enough to be a man's.

Lizzie's survival instincts kicked in, and she started struggling. She alternated digging her heels into the ground and kicked backwards at her captor's legs while trying to twist away, but nothing she did seemed to be effective. She was dragged backwards into the forest where a rickety old coach and a large wagon were waiting on the road.

The kidnapper holding her let go and spun her around forcefully. "Let me get a look at you."

She found herself looking up into the face of a woman who was easily taller than Kai and just as broad. She wore a strange knit hat on her head. The sides came down past her ears, and the yarn on either side had been brought forward and knit and braided together in such a way as to resemble a long beard hanging from her chin.

Whistles sounded from the crowd of similarly garbed kidnappers. "She sure looks like the princess," one of them said.

"And I'm sure she'll fetch a princess's ransom." The broad woman rubbed her hands together with glee. "Tie her up and throw her in the wagon."

"I want her to ride with me!" The door to the coach flew open, and a little girl with dark hair and skin poked her head out.

"Pixie, mind your business and get back in the coach."

"No!" The little girl stomped her foot and repeated, "I want her to ride with me."

The woman growled, but capitulated. "Fine! Just make sure you play nicely. We want to make sure the princess arrives in good condition."

Lizzie was pushed into the coach with such force that she had to throw out her hands to catch herself. The windows were covered with thick curtains, and she blinked in the suddenly dim lighting, waiting for her eyes to adjust. Small hands wrapped around her waist and helped her up.

"Are you really a princess?" The little girl snuggled herself into Lizzie's side as the coach started moving forward with a lurch.

"Not anymore."

"Oh." The sound was slightly disappointed. "But were you before?"

"Yes." Lizzie's mind was still trying to catch up with the events of the last quarter hour. She wasn't panicked, but there was the hint of something akin to it starting to bubble in her chest.

Where are we going? What happened to Kai?

"How can you be a princess and then not be a princess? That doesn't make any sense. Ma said that you have to be born a princess, or else marry a prince, but you can't unborn yourself. Well, I suppose that would be like dying, and someone else could unborn you, then. But you're still alive, which means that you weren't unborn, which means that you have to still be a princess."

Trying to keep up with the girl's train of thought was making her dizzy. "I married a commoner."

Does he know what happened? Will he try to come after me?

"But wouldn't that make him a prince?"

"Not if the king said it didn't."

"If marrying him made you not a princess, then why did you? I would rather be a princess than married."

"My father was angry, and he wanted to punish me."

The little girl made a sound of disgust. "That's a bad father, right there. My ma is a robber, and even she knows that you shouldn't punish your child by making them marry someone who will unmake them what they are." She paused long enough to take a breath. "What's your name, anyway?"

"Eliza."

"That's a nice name, I suppose. Mine's Polly, though everyone calls me Pixie. You might think that it's because I'm small, but actually it's because I'm the best pickpocket in all of Brisia and Anura and Nedra combined. I used to call myself a ‘picksie-pocket,' but now it's just Pixie. I can steal anything from anybody. In fact, one time I stole a knife right out of a man's boot, and he didn't even notice. It's this one right here." A long silver blade suddenly glinted in the low light. "I keep it with me all the time, and even under my pillow when I sleep."

Lizzie was unsure what to say in response. "That sounds dangerous, especially for a child."

Pixie was undeterred by her lack of enthusiasm, having enough in her tiny body for both of them. She kept talking, barely pausing to breathe as she took full advantage of having a captive audience. "And did you know, one time I even stole a coin purse from inside a lady's petticoats. She had those big hoops underneath, and I just waited until she was going up a curb and darted under them when she lifted them up and then walked around inside like it was a moving tent. Getting out was a little harder…"

There was something about the continuous stream of conversation that helped bring her emotions back into cold focus.

Even if Kai does come, he won't be able to fight this entire group on his own. For right now, the best course of action is to go along easily and see what happens.

Lizzie leaned her head against the back of the hard seat, and resigned herself to wait.