Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

I don't know how long I've cried but I know I haven't gone out of bed since Erax left. I know that the tears won't stop, and I feel like I'm absolutely drowning, completely and utterly drowning. I cling to the pillow tightly as my swollen eyes sting from how much I've cried. But I don't dare even lift my head. He's going to kill Loch, and it's all my fault.

A single kiss is a death sentence, and I should have stopped it.

I should have done something—anything.

I didn't even know Loch had feelings for me. It took me by surprise. Erax didn't even give me a chance to explain, but part of me doesn't blame him for his reaction. I am his queen at the end of the day.

I never wanted to be queen, let alone his one, yet here I am, and I'm alone.

My bedroom door opens, but I don't bother raising my head from the pillow, knowing it's probably the maid coming to check on me again. To try to coax me out of bed and help calm me down with more offers of spiced teas.

When the smell of fire and roses washes over me, I lift my head a little to meet the king's gaze. He looks broken, and it crushes me that I did this to him too. His riding leathers are gone, and he's wearing a black shirt that's open at the top and tucked into black trousers, but it's not his clothes that scream broken to me. It's his expression on his face, the hurt in his beautiful green eyes, that I've never seen before. It's almost like the fire that burned in him is slowly going out, and I know in my heart I don't want to see those flames die.

This bond between us has changed everything so quickly, and I can't lie to myself that I hate him. It's not as simple as that anymore. Even when I want to hate Erax, completely despise him with every ounce of my soul, I can't deny my feelings for him. I will never forget or forgive him for what he did, but my heart has been split and its broken pieces are crying for him.

"Erax..."

"Fuck you," he snarls at me. "Hating you? That was so fucking easy. So easy, right before I saw you." He lets out a hollow laugh. "Before I saw you, I swore to the gods that I would always hate you. I hated everything you were for what your parents did to this world. The monsters that they were. For all of it."

"What are you talk?—"

"Don't interrupt me!" He grits his jaw, and his eyes flash with flames again. "Just for once, don't." I bite my tongue and nod once since it's all I can do. "Then I saw you. Saw you on that stupid fucking cart, dressed in rags. Fuck... Everything changed. I don't know what I was expecting you to be like. I really didn't. I thought it'd be a chore to marry you. I thought I'd hate it. As much as I hate what lies in your blood. But when I met you, when I saw you for the first time, everything changed. I wanted you. You were so beautiful and enchanting... and fuck, I wanted you more than I ever wanted my dragon to be mine."

I can't breathe. Erax has never opened up like this before.

"If we met at random, and you weren't the princess and I weren't the king, I would have still wanted you and said fuck it all. I would want you in any world, in any place, with any title, because something in here"—he slams a closed fist over his heart— "tells me that you are mine. So, fuck you for making me want you, Maelena. Fuck you for letting me be inside you and know that nothing and no one is ever going to compare. And really, truly, fuck you for making me have feelings for you that made me want to die when I saw you kiss another man. Fuck you for making me love you, Maelena."

His words knock the air from my lungs. My chest tightens and aches, and I feel like I'm about to pass out. I stare at this traitor king who is every bit mine as I am his. I want to scream at him. To pull myself out from this bed and make him see how much he's torn me to pieces.

"It meant nothing," I whisper instead. "Lochlan has never kissed me before and I was trying to stop it even before you came in. Loch... he's my friend, and that's it."

For once Erax deserves the truth from me too.

"I had a crush on him as a girl, I guess, because he helped me in the convent. He was the only one who helped me. He looked after me when I was whipped. But he never took it further, and it was just that—a crush. A stupid, silly little crush that died out through the years and he became like a brother to me. I realised that when he kissed me. It didn't have any lust or desire, or that burning feeling in my chest that I seem to feel only when I look at you. So, fuck you right back, Erax, for making me fall in love with you too."

Erax falls to his knees. He looks like he's in pain or just completely dumbfounded. Whatever the reason, it makes me get out of the bed and fall down beside him. I take his head between my hands, our faces inches apart.

"I know I should hate you for what you did. I should hate you for everything that you are, but I don't. And I'm not sure who I hate more for that. I, or whichever cruel god decided our marriage was destined to be this real."

My voice breaks as he reaches for me. His hand wraps around my waist, tugging me against him. I sink my face into his neck, breathing in the scent I despised but have grown to yearn. There is no point denying this anymore.

I'm in love with Erax, and as he holds me in his arms, I know he's in love with me too. It's the biggest fuck you in history.

He smells my hair, speaking softly to me. "I don't hate the gods for this. I will treasure them forever for bringing you to me. We're perfect for each other. I will tell you every truth and the reasons why." I peer up at him through my lashes. "I'm not a good person, Maelena. I've done many things I've lived to regret. But what I did that day—it was for justice and peace, and I won't ever regret bringing my people that."

He picks me up and throws me on the bed, covering me with his huge body, and I believe him. I want to know the truth and the reason behind it all because I've got to know Erax and that he is more than his violent past. His hand digs into my hair as he kisses me, his tongue deeply sinking into my mouth, and I gasp at the invasion. Lochlan's kiss is almost laughable compared to how it feels to have Erax kiss me now, and my body knows it.

We burn for one male.

One king.

Erax is my husband, and I want him. I'm done fighting it. I know my parents will hate me for giving in to him. Maybe I'm just as much of a traitor as he is.

I tug at his shirt, breaking all the buttons as his hands run down my nightdress, yanking it down so my breasts are exposed to the cold air. He groans as he cups one of them, rubbing his thumb softly over my nipple, and a grin spreads over his lips.

"Is my queen wet for me?"

I nod and he grips my throat, making me look at him. His eyes are shifting into a darker green, narrowing in a way that reminds me of his dragon. "Were you wet for him?"

Embarrassment floods me. "No," I breathe out. "Only you."

"Let me see," he murmurs, sinking down my body, and I love the pleasing tone in his voice. He pushes up my nightdress, so it wraps around my waist, and I'm bared fully to him. A blush burns my cheeks as he parts my legs and a growl echo from him. "Fuck, you're dripping, and I haven't even touched you yet." He presses his lips against me, softly breathing over my sensitive spot. "I want you all over my face and then I want you to kiss me as you ride your king."

We haven't done it that way before. He usually takes control, but any way he is inside me sounds perfect to me right now. I wriggle on the bed.

"Yes, Erax... please."

"I like when you beg," he murmurs against my skin, kissing me once on the soft, delicate skin of my inner thigh. He doesn't make me wait any longer before he devours me like the dragon he is. His hot tongue parts my folds so quickly, licking all the way up my slit to my clit, and swirling around the spot there as I moan and cry out in pleasure. He is relentless, taking every moan and scream like they are personal treasures for him to horde, and he knows exactly how to make me explode under his touch.

Pleasure destroys me within minutes, crashing down on my body before spreading across every inch of me. I fall back onto the bed, my body twitching and shaking as I come down from the high.

Erax looks utterly pleased with himself as he rises up. He wipes his hand across his wet mouth and then reaches for his trousers. I part my legs and wait breathlessly for the best part. He only gets one button undone before there's a knock on the door, and we both pause.

Erax snarls and his eyes darken with a murderous look. "I don't care who the fuck it is, go away or I'll fucking kill you!"

Noble's voice echoes back. "I'm coming in there whether you want me to or not. It's an emergency, so stop fucking her."

Erax grits his teeth and fastens his button again. He softly picks me up softly but there's still that dark, murderous look on the face. I give him a smile. We don't need to rush. We can continue on and on, and he knows it.

"I'm going to kill him."

I rush to the wardrobe, tugging on a green tunic and a pair of grey leggings. Erax watches me while pacing by the window, trying to calm himself down. "He's your best friend."

"Still going to kill him because I know he heard you come, and that delicious sound is just for me."

Erax stops pacing and grabs me, pulling me in for a long, slow kiss where I can taste myself on his lips. Then he moves back and without looking at the door, shouts for Noble to come in. Noble enters quickly, and for the first time ever, he doesn't bow to his king. He's wearing heavy red armour that carries my parent's distinctive crest on the breastplate and gold cloak. My eyes widen when I see he has a strange glowing crossbow in his hand. He doesn't even pause before he lifts it and shoots six arrows straight into Erax's chest. The impact sends Erax flying across the room from my side, his blood spraying my chest and face.

I freeze in shock, and my bond to my dragon causes her feelings of shock to amplify them. She is losing it in the Keep. She wants to keep me safe and our husband too. That familiar icy feeling sweeps over me, and I know it's my power about to unleash itself. I let it come forward but then it suddenly vanishes when an arrow pierces my arm.

I try to scream but no sound makes its way past my words. As if dazed, I watch in pure horror as three more arrows are shot into Erax, each one of them glowing and radiating a strange black essence. It's magic. Dark magic.

They must be subduing me while killing Erax.

My shock wears off and my scream finally tears its way out of me. Six arrows hold Erax in place, pinned against the wall. Blood pours heavily from each wound. Stumbling, I manage to drag myself to my feet and run over to Erax, sickness rising in my throat. Noble catches me around the waist before I reach him. He twists the arrow deeper into my arm and laughs in my ear.

"Too much has been done for you to start growing feelings for him now. Remember the Drifting Kingdom, Maelena? Because it hasn't forgotten you."

I twist in his arms, screaming at him. "You betraying bastard! Let me go!" My voice breaks as my cries turn into sobs. "You were his best friend! A rider! How could you?!"

He laughs again, this time in my face, as his hand cups my ass and pulls me against him. A disgusted shudder runs through me. "He will die soon enough. The arrows were a gift from the witches. They promised he'll die and so will his dragon. Don't worry about him following us. You're free and hopefully you have a nice heir in that stomach of yours we can use. You will be far more powerful than you already are with a babe in there." He turns my head, forcing me to look him in the eye. "Don't you remember who I really am? I was there the night he killed your parents." I go still in his arms, and he leans in. "Your father had just betrothed us together that very night, and I tried to save you, but you didn't come to me." I remember the boy in the corridor, but his hair was brown...or was its ash? Could he have been blond? "I couldn't get to you until now and it's a shame he ruined you, but I'll take you, anyway."

Horror sinks into my chest. "Who the fuck are you?"

A leering look contorts his face. "You're about to find out."

I start to scream, crawling my way out of his arms to try to get back to Erax. Lochlan steps into the room in front of us, his eyes wide as he comes up to me. He looks as terrible as the last time I saw him, but he apparently wasn't beaten that badly if he can help Noble kidnap me and kill a king. My horror turns into betrayal, and my screams turn into sobbing pleas.

"Nooo!" I scream out as if Lochlan just stabbed me in the chest and ripped out my heart. "Don't tell me your part of this. Not you, please!"

But I know just from the look on his face that Lochlan is part of this. He was part of it all along.

"Just forget him, Lena. He's nothing."

Lochlan is nothing to me now.

He looks over at his brother. "Knock her out. It will be easier to get her out of the castle if she is silent."

"NOOO! Loch, please save Erax! Don't do th?—"

Something hard slams into the back of my head, and in the darkness all I can smell is fire and roses. All I can do is beg the gods to save my king…