Chapter 11

No. No, no, no. This couldn't be happening, not now, not after everything they've been through.

But it was happening, of course it was. Had Irina really expected to stay here forever? Yelzin checked the message, an innocuous greeting from a neighboring Strinee which he returned quickly, but the implication was clear in the way his shoulders slumped, the way he refused to meet her eyes.

The plasma storms had cleared.

Irina pressed a hand to her right shoulder, aware that without the mask of the plasma, her tiny tracker was emitting a signal that would lead Coalition forces right to them. Panic gripped her heart as she pushed away from him, trying and failing to keep her voice calm .

"I need to use your information channel as soon as possible. See if I can get through to someone in Athea."

Yelzin cocked his head, her shaky words clearly confusing him.

He paused for a long moment before responding, the hurt clear in his quiet voice.

"I understand you wish to leave, but I want you to know that you are most welcome to stay as long as you would like. Your company… pleases me more than I thought possible."

"I can't stay, Yelzin."

He nodded, his entire body slumping as his head dropped to the ground.

"You have a mate you wish to return to… a family?"

Mate? What was he talking about?

"I don't have a mate, I just can't stay here," Irina said, tears burning the corners of her eyes.

"Why? I can take care of you, little one. I can feed you and keep you safe. I know you do not wish to be my mate, but…"

He was making this more difficult than it needed to be.

Of course, she wanted to stay, at least a part of her. Irina had nothing, no home, no one who cared about her beyond what her money could buy or what she could do for them. She would spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder, certain someone would recognize her at any second.

Even her whispered plans to meet up with Ruby, who had only received a short sentence for her crimes, were dashed, her only friend in the universe taken from her bed in the middle of lights out.

Yelzin, well, she had only known him a brief time, but had experienced more comfort, more relief, than she had in as long as she could remember. Not since her own parents had last held her in their arms, before she was forced into the children's home and forever changed.

For a while, she truly felt like her ‘work' could make her forget the loneliness, the pain, that duty could overrun any need for companionship. And it did, the online relationships she formed with her loyal followers more than enough to replace actual intimacy.

At least until she got caught.

Irina would love to stay, to learn more about the creature standing before her, allow herself to be washed in his comfort every day, see more of beautiful Strine. It was strange to have someone take care of her after decades of relying on herself.

But no, none of that mattered. Staying here would put Yelzin in danger, put all of his people in danger, now that the plasma storms were dissipating. She was a criminal. She would spend the rest of her life on the run.

Always running.

"Please, Irina, just stay a while longer. I will not let anything happen to you."

Yelzin's voice was so quiet, so gentle, so full of despair, it broke Irina's heart.

"No," she said firmly. This was all too much, and she need to put it to a stop. She couldn't let Yelzin tempt her, no matter how badly she wanted it. "You want to know the truth? I'm a criminal. I stole that ship to escape from a penal satellite. They were going to kill me! Honestly, my execution date has probably already passed. People are going to come looking for me, Yelzin. People who would do terrible things to the Strinee and this planet if they found out about your blood, the healing potential."

Yelzin hunched over, looking her square in the eye as his arms curled in front of him. "I do not understand. Your Coalition wishes to… kill you?"

"Yes," Irina said, taking in a big gulp of air.

She longed to be wrapped in Yelzin's arms, though he held them tight to his chest.

"Why would the Coalition kill its citizens?"

Irina snorted a dark laugh. Oh, how she yearned for the simplicity of the Strinee, even if it meant never seeing a damned console again.

"I… hacked into a Coalition web server. Out of curiosity more than anything else. But what I saw, Yelzin… It was horrible." Irina paused, taking a deep breath. "Have you heard of the protests on Inars 4?"

Yelzin nodded. "Yes, I had heard of them over my channel. Three thousand dead, a terrorist attack."

"It wasn't terrorists. It was the Coalition. I found files of the plan on a secret FTP server, confirmation of Coalition agents planting the bombs. Signed off by the Council itself. They killed those people because they dared to speak up against the government. Dared to demand representation on the Council. I couldn't leave it alone. I took the files and disseminated them as widely as possible. I thought I had been discreet enough, but somehow they tracked me. Wiped everything, threw me on Oblivion. The Council wanted to make an example of me."

Going against the Coalition's governing leaders had been a poor choice, but Irina never half-assed anything. And she had to try after what they'd done on Inars 4, all the lives they'd destroyed, simply because they didn't want to add a representative from every Coalition species to their precious Council.

Only members of the five founding species had any say in the government, which was why some worlds were given so much and some were given so little. Those brave people on Inars 4 lost their lives at a peaceful protest, all because they expected more, demanded more.

"The Coalition would kill you for taking files?"

Yelzin's eyes were wide, specks of gold dotting the red, reflecting the light glinting in through the opening of the hut.

Irina swallowed hard, aware of how severe the Coalition must have sounded to a sweet alien like him, cruelty that she'd become far too accustomed to.

"Yes, Yelzin, what don't you understand? I need to get off this planet before they come here, before they hurt you."

It didn't matter that her sentence was harsher than any prior court decisions, that she was the only person in the history of the Coalition to be sentenced to death for cyber crimes. That prisoners like Ruby were being taken from their cells in the middle of the night, never to be seen again.

None of that mattered, not when the Coalition had more power than it knew what to do with, not when any citizen going against them was thrown on a penal satellite, if they were lucky .

"No one will hurt me, little one, and I will not allow them to take you."

A growl rumbled from Yelzin's chest as he reached for Irina, pulling her flush with his body and fully encompassing her with his winged arms.

His devotion disturbed her.

For so long, she had suffered alone. And that was how it needed to stay. The Strinee did not understand the power the Coalition had, the devastation they would wreak on this planet if given the opportunity.

"No," she breathed, pressing against him until he released her. "I have to leave. I need to use your information channel."

Irina looked away from him, unable to see those sad eyes, the way his whole body slumped with the finality of her words.

Yelzin was silent a long moment, as if pondering a response, trying to find the right thing to say to make her stay. He must have realized that nothing would change her mind, because when he spoke, his voice was a resigned whisper.

"You may use my channel as you see fit."

With a sad chuff, Yelzin nodded at her and exited the hut, leaving her alone. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she picked up the receiver and input a coordinate for her message, despair threatening to overwhelm her.

Irina was going to leave him.

Of course, he knew it was coming. He hadn't expected her to stay, and yet it still hurt him more than he could have possibly imagined. Yelzin's head swam as he wandered away from his hut, giving Irina her privacy so she could send her message.

His chest heaved with emotion as he clenched his claws into tight fists, the sharp bite of pain in his palms doing little to quell the anguish roiling within him. It was all his fault. He should not have let himself get attached. He knew Irina wanted to leave, just like everyone left him, but he had let hope build.

That had been a mistake.

The pain was worse than anything Yelzin had ever felt. He had cared for all of his mates, but Irina was the only one who had cared for him in return. There was no doubt about that, the way she held him every night, smiled at his stories of Strine, kissed him gently on his snout, ran her fingers through his fur.

Irina cared for him, just as he did for her, but it was not enough.

Yelzin would never be enough.

He let out a vicious roar, clawing his hands down the rough trunk of a tree. Bloodied palms left glistening streaks on the black bark, Yelzin's howl morphing into a wracking sob as he crumpled to the ground.

What a fool he had been.

He let his emotions flow through him like the sinuous creek, the one where he and Irina had collected stones for their creation, as he curled into a ball.

After a long while, Yelzin composed himself and returned to the hut to find Irina sitting cross-legged on the dirt floor, lost in thought. She startled when she finally noticed him, an uncomfortable smile on her beautiful lips.

Lips that would never press against him ever again.

"Were you able to get through?" Yelzin asked.

No reason to belabor the point. She had made her decision.

"Yes, I was," Irina said, though her eyes didn't meet his. She grumbled as she stood up, finally turning to look at him. "I think it would be best if I waited by my ship. It…"

Yelzin huffed, but pulled her into his chest, his wings squeezing her tightly. He leaned down and breathed in her scent, sweet and musky, and was desperate to commit it to memory, along with the way she felt, so small in his arms.

Irina accepted the embrace, her cheek pressed against his tawny fur, her whole body heaving with sobs. A gentle coo was all he could muster as he brushed his claws through her hair.

"It will be easier if I leave now," Irina finished, choking the words out.

She pushed away from him again, running the sleeve of her jumpsuit across her cheeks to wipe the tears away. That pretty pink face, stained and swollen from crying, would be his last image of her.

Irina pressed her palm to his cheek, swallowing hard.

"Thank you, Yelzin. For everything."

Yelzin could not speak, did not trust himself to say anything. He wanted to grab her and never let her go, wished he could force her to stay, but he would never. He loved her as much as a Strinee could love, but it was not enough.

"Goodbye, Irina."

A grimace marked her face as she walked past him, finally tearing her eyes away and hurrying through the door. Irina said no more, disappearing into the forest. When he could no longer hear her footsteps in the distance, Yelzin collapsed into a heap on his nest.

Alone again.

Alone forever.

Yelzin was in and out of fitful sleep the entire night, all the vigor zapped from his body. It was as if his heart had actually been torn from his chest, and he couldn't muster up the energy to leave the nest even when the sun rose the next day.

A beep broke him out of his haze of melancholy, the beep of his information channel.

A message.

It had been almost a full day since Irina left, and he wondered where she was. The urge to go to her was strong, but he hobbled out of his nest and pressed the button to retrieve his message.

It was from Daato, a male Strinee Yelzin had met a few times whose hut was a day's hike away. His voice was an excited chittering, and Yelzin had to listen to the message twice before he understood.

Daato had seen a Coalition ship on his radar, and it was heading Yelzin's way. He just thought Yelzin would want to know.

The message made his blood run cold, his ears twitching as he understood the implication. A Coalition ship, not an unclassified ship like he expected to come for Irina. If the Coalition was coming, that meant they would take her back to the prison, they would kill her.

And Yelzin could not let that happen.