Chapter 17

CHAPTER 17

Death

"So how does Limbo work?" Zinnia asked while she braided her hair.

I hadn't taken my eyes off her once. Everything about her fascinated me. Everything she did, everything she said. My obsession with her somehow grew with each passing day, despite trying to keep control of my feelings, despite knowing how dangerous it was. Now wasn't the time to fall, but it was too late—I already had. Thanks to Somnus and his ambrosia, I'd told her as much.

Nothing I'd said to her had been false, I just wished I hadn't said it, not yet. She wasn't ready to hear it, that much had been obvious, and again, thanks to the ambrosia, I hadn't been able to school my emotions when her avoidance of my declaration inevitably came.

I hadn't mentioned my feelings for her since, and neither had she. The last two nights we'd fucked in my bed and laughed and talked about things that were light and amusing, not only avoiding what I'd said to her, but also the things she wanted to know that I couldn't tell her.

Right now, she was trying to distract me from my pain. Somnus had returned to Marigold and the Dream Realm last night, and there was no telling how long it would be before I spoke to him again.

No, that depended wholly on the female watching me expectantly now. She had no idea just how much rested on her shoulders. If she did, if she knew the truth, she would probably run like hell from me, and I'd never see her again—or worse.

"What do you want to know?" I asked and stroked my hand down Hemlock's back. I watched the play of emotions moving across Zinnia's face and the way she chewed her pretty lower lip. It was still puffy from my kisses earlier.

If I lost her now…

Her familiar nudged my hand for another pat, stopping me from falling into that dark, hopeless pit, and I brutally shoved those thoughts aside.

"Where is everyone? Like, this place is full of spirits, and I know when a soul comes here, they're assigned their own kind of… personal Limbo, right? But where are they?"

I scooped Hemlock up and held out my hand. "How about I show you?"

She put down her brush and strode over, taking my hand with a grin. "Are we going on a field trip?"

I chuckled; I'd been doing that a lot lately. I'd forgotten what it was like until I found her and she'd pulled me from the cloak slowly but surely, without even knowing she was doing it. It had been so long since I'd had occasion to laugh, to feel happiness, to feel anything but rage. I didn't think it was going to happen, that again, it wouldn't happen, but it had. Zinnia had brought me back.

"Yes, a field trip." I loved the feel of her hand in mine; it was small and smooth and warm.

All she had to do was hold it back and not let go, and we would make it.

Just trust me, and finally, we'd make it to the other side.

* * *

Zinnia

Death led me from the castle and along the skull path, the one I followed when I came and went from Limbo. We walked until we reached the edge of the forest. Hemlock had stayed perched on Death's shoulder the entire time, which amazed me, honestly.

I gave his head a little scratch, and he squeaked, letting me know how happy he was, so I left him where he was.

"Which way?" If we took the path that went to the left, it would lead us to the gateway to my home, but there was a path that went right as well. I'd never explored it. It was less trodden, narrow, the skulls not as compacted down, leading into the thickest part of the forest.

"Right," he said, and since this path was only wide enough for one person, he pulled me forward so I was in front of him.

"This is where my reapers bring the souls," he said as he walked.

It was cooler in here, under the thick canopy of the trees, the scent of loam much heavier. Finally, we reached a clearing and stopped. "Now where do we go?

"Nowhere. We're here. This is where they are," he said.

"What do you mean, here? All of them? How?"

He lifted a hand, and his cloak appeared, shrouding him as he waved his palm in front of me.

The clearing transformed to a cottage with a woman sitting on the porch singing while she knitted. He waved his hand again. A man busking on a city street. Again . A woman on a beach walking her dog. Again . A wolf shifter howling mournfully in a dark forest. Again . A man playing violin in a concert hall.

I heard them all, felt them; the souls were bright and so incredibly vibrant.

Again and again and again, Death waved his hand, showing me the souls locked in Limbo, in the place they'd most wanted to be for eternity.

Finally, he lowered his hand, and his cloak vanished.

"That was…" Shockingly, I felt tears gather in my eyes. "I felt them," I whispered. "My ability to communicate with the dead, it's… bound here, well, except for the visions I've been getting, but I haven't been communicating with them. It's all one-sided." Having his past consorts trying to tell me something that I didn't understand was so goddamn frustrating. "But just now, I felt those souls. When you showed them to me, I felt each and every one… I heard them."

He cupped my face, brushing the tears from my cheeks. "It hurts you not to use your power?"

"It's a huge part of who I am, you know?" I shook my head. "It's what I do, how I help people. When I'm here, I feel… like I have no purpose, like I've lost a part of myself."

He swiped his thumb over my cheek again. "I'm sorry, Zinnia, I truly am. It won't… it won't always be this way…" The muscle at the side of his jaw pulsed. "If you… things won't be…" He cursed.

"What? Tell me."

He drew in a breath as if he was trying to regain control. "I can't."

"Or you won't?" I stared up at him.

"This is one of those things that you have to figure out for yourself."

Frustration filled me. "How the hell am I supposed to do that? You've given me nothing, no clues, no hints. Not one damn thing."

"That is where you're wrong," he said roughly.

I growled in frustration. "So what happens if I do figure everything out? What happens then?"

"Good things, little witch, really fucking good things."

I dropped my head so it rested against his chest. "So no pressure then?"

He chuckled low, his fingers sliding into my hair and massaging my scalp. "I believe in you," he said and kissed the top of my head.

His attempt at trying to keep things light, to pretend he wasn't tense, failed, because like I had been for a while now, I felt it. He was more than tense. There was this deep hollow feeling inside him, a feeling of total hopelessness. It was cold and lonely and desperate. No one deserved that. I hated that Death lived with it. Goddess, it must be torturous.

Lifting my head, I held his magnetic gaze. "I promise you, Mors, I will do everything in my power to do what it is you need me to." I didn't know if we would stay together, if I'd grow to love him the way he said he loved me, or if this thing between us would last—if I'd even survive it—but he didn't deserve to live a life missing a part of himself, and that's what this was, what I was feeling. It was like Death was missing a part of his soul, and I wouldn't stop until I helped him get that back. I thought about what he said to me after he'd been drinking ambrosia, about what would happen if I left him, and my heart squeezed tight. I pressed my hand to his chest and smiled up at him.

"I know you will, love," he said, not holding back, not asking for more from me, but not hiding the way he felt about me either.

He believed me, but he was afraid to believe in me . I felt that as well. "What you need to know about me is, when you become my friend, I will fight for you with everything I have."

"And am I your friend, Zinnia?" His eyes glinted, but he wasn't making fun of me; he truly wanted to know.

"You are most definitely my friend." Which astounded me after all we'd been through, but it was the truth.

He tucked my hair behind my ear. "I don't know what I did to deserve that honor, but I am privileged beyond measure."

He was serious. There was no sarcasm in his voice, no rancor or doubt. He truly felt that way, and it broke my heart to know that Death had been so lonely for so long. Taking his hand, I started back toward the castle. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I'm going to cook your dinner tonight. Do you like dumplings?" I glanced at him.

A smile curled his lips, and my heart did a dramatic flutter. "I'm not sure."

"Do you want to find out?" I asked.

"I'd love to."

* * *

Death wiped his mouth with the napkin and sat back. "That was exceptional."

"Well, there's more where that came from because I looked after Jazzy on my own most of the time, and we ate a lot of bland food, cheap and easy, so when we went to stay with our aunts in Roxburgh, I asked Else to teach me to cook. We spent a lot of time in the school holidays cooking for the family. I loved it, which is another reason I love a big garden."

"Where is your mother now?" Death asked, and there was a coldness to his voice that had me straightening in my seat.

"Last I heard, she was in Paris, but she could have moved on by now," I said. "It's fine. She does her thing, and we do ours."

"She abandoned you when you were children," he said, his voice deepening.

"She was around when we were young, just not when I was old enough to be responsible for Jazzy. She does love us, but having kids just wasn't her thing."

His gaze slid to the stairs and up, to where Somnus slumbered.

"Don't even think about it."

"About what?" he asked, all innocence.

"About sleeping in your brother's room tonight and paying my mother a visit in her dreams."

His jaw tightened. "I just want to talk to her."

"No," I said, "you will not."

He shrugged. "Fine, if you're so against it."

"I am."

He inclined his head.

"So how about dessert?"

His gaze darkened. "I know what I'd like for dessert."

My body heated instantly. "Well, you can hold that thought, because first we're having chocolate mousse."

"Sounds almost as delicious as what I had in mind—"

The door from the kitchens opened, and Egon rushed out. "Excuse me, my lord, but I must speak with you."

Death stood. "What is it?"

"Something that requires your immediate attention," Egon said, giving him a look.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. Stay here," Death said to me and rushed from the room.

* * *

He'd been gone for hours.

Egon said he had something important to deal with but wasn't saying what. He'd also looked kind of freaked out.

They may want to hide whatever this was from me, but I could still feel Death. His concern, his frustration, his pain and anger were being broadcast to me like I was tuned into his frequency. It was as if he was calling to me or reaching for me, and I couldn't just wait there for him when I was positive he needed me somehow.

Quickly dressing in my leathers, I strapped my knife to my thigh and ordered Hemy to stay in the room, then rushed downstairs. Once I was sure the coast was clear, I slipped out of the castle. Egon would try to stop me, but I would not be stopped.

Pressing my fingers to my lips, I called for Zuri. She trotted out of the forest a few minutes later on her own. I expected to see Raze right behind her, but he wasn't there. When she stopped in front of me, I ran my hand down her long nose. "Is Death with Raze?"

She jerked her head.

And they'd made her stay behind as well. "Can you take me to him, sweet girl?" I didn't have a bridle, but I didn't think I'd need one; she'd be able to track her mate without my guidance.

She bent her front leg, lifting it, and jerked her head again, offering me a boost up. I quickly hoisted myself up, then held on tight, wrapping my arms around her neck. "Take me to them, Zuri."

She took off at speed, the cool wind stinging my face and whipping through my hair. Nerves filled me; something wasn't right. No, something was terribly wrong. Zuri burst through the tree line and into the forest, and darkness closed in instantly. We rode at breakneck speed, dodging trees and jumping over fallen logs. My fight-or-flight instincts grew more desperate the deeper we went and as we got closer to wherever it was Zuri was taking me.

A drawn-out cry echoed through the forest, eerie and mournful, like a banshee's wail. It was the sound of someone lost, hopelessly searching for something. Zuri slowed to a trot, tilting her head to the side, listening. I searched the shadowed forest around us—

Something rushed at us, and Zuri reared, throwing me from her back. I hit the ground hard and, gasping, quickly rolled to my feet. I pulled my knife from its sheath and frantically searched the area around us.

Another cry filled the night, louder, closer. I stood beside Zuri. "It's all right," I said, and she snorted and stomped restlessly. I turned to hoist myself back up when something flew toward me, digging long nails or claws into my side, cutting into my flesh as they passed. Then they were gone, too fast for me to see what or who it was.

I hissed, covering the wound. I pressed my back to Zuri and held my knife out in front of me.

They flew at me once more with another swipe of their claws, tearing into my thigh this time, and then they were gone again. "Show yourself," I called. I tapped Zuri's front leg. "Let me back up, Zuri."

A strange, repetitive, high-pitched sound came from the shadows to my right, and I spun back.

"Come out and let me talk to you. I won't hurt you," I said, which was laughable. The only one getting hurt right now was me.

The sound came again, lifting the hair on the back of my neck.

They sped across the clearing again, and this time, the claws sliced across my cheek. "Fuck." I needed to get back on Zuri and get the hell out of here, but she was nervous, dancing away, torn between running and her instinct to stay and protect me. I tapped her front leg. "Let me up, Zuri," I said again. "Come on, sweet girl."

Her eyes were huge, but this time, she lifted her leg, and I gripped on to hoist myself back up—

Something slammed into me, knocking me back to the ground. "Fuck." I quickly rolled to my feet again. "Fucking show yourself, asshole," I called, in pain, scared, and pissed the hell off.

A branch cracked to my left, and I twisted toward it. Something moved in the shadows, slow now and in an odd, stilted way. My instincts took over all else, telling me to run, but there was no outrunning whatever this was.

They stepped closer, closer still, then finally into the clearing.

Zuri shrieked and reared.

Holy fuck. This was no demon or other creature, and it wasn't a lost soul either.

What stood before me had to have been brought to life using the foulest of magic or the kind of power I quaked at the thought of. A female walked awkwardly toward me. Dirt stained her rotting, tattered clothes, skin hung from bone, and her long blonde hair was stringy around her skeletal face.

One moment, she was two yards away, walking as if her bones were about to snap, and the next, she was in front of me, her skeletal hand wrapped around my throat, gnashing her blunt teeth. I shoved my forearm against her bony throat, the smell of rot stinging my nose.

"G-give… it to me," she said disjointedly.

"What do you want?" I growled out.

"Give it to… me."

"Back the fuck up, and I'll give you whatever the hell you want."

She jerked forward more viciously, and I strained to push her back, then slammed my palm against her skull and fired my magic into her. She flew backward, slamming into a tree, but was back on her feet, and in a blink, she was in front of me, snapping her teeth. I did it again and again, hitting her hard with my magic, but she got back up every single time. I gave her more and more, until I felt my powers begin to weaken; she was draining me. Fuck.

She rushed back, and I shoved my arm against her throat again and smashed my fist into her jaw repeatedly to try and dislocate it. If she couldn't bite me, I only had the long, sharp nails to contend with. She shrieked, her head jerking forward, jaw snapping at speed. I punched her again, and one side of her jaw drooped, only a piece of rotting flesh holding it in place.

"Alga, stop!"

Death's voice echoed through the forest around us. She froze instantly, forgetting about me completely, and turned.

"That's it," he said roughly. "Come to me." She was at his side a second later. He wrapped his arms around her. "You shouldn't be wandering," he said.

"N-no… D-Death," she said. It was garbled, disjointed.

"It's okay now. It'll be okay."

"H-help… Alga," she said.

"I will," he rasped as he held her face in his hands and looked down at her. He smiled, kindness shining in his eyes—but then he tore her skull from her shoulders, and her body collapsed, falling in a heap at his feet. He dropped her skull with the rest of her bones, breathing hard.

"Mors—"

"I told you to stay at the castle. She could have killed you," he said.

"Who is she?"

He looked up at me. "Go back to the castle, Zinnia."

"I'm going to need you to explain what the fuck just happened here."

He held my gaze. "Now." His voice was filled with fury. He was not going to tell me anything, not one damn thing.

Movement on the ground caught my eye. The bones, they were reforming, the head rolling back to the neck, the jaw clicking back in place. "What the fuck is she?"

He strode to me, grabbed my hips, and tossed me onto Zuri's back; then he took her face in his hands. "Take her to the castle, and do not stop. Do you understand, Zuri?"

She shrieked the affirmative, then took off through the forest, flying back toward the castle.

I turned back in time to see Death shove Alga's reforming bones into a sack and carry her away.