Chapter Forty–Four

CHAPTER FORTY–FOUR

T he first thing Apex smelled was a flower.

In the dense darkness of all his wounds, he couldn’t identify what kind of rose it was, or even where it was around him. But he knew that someone had brought him . . . a rose.

Opening his lids was like lifting a car, but he was so compelled to answer the mystery of where he was and why—

“It’s . . . you,” he croaked.

Callum was sitting at whatever bedside this was, right beside him. And as the wolven came to attention, those gleaming, husky eyes were luminous with unshed tears as they locked on his own.

Or rather, the one that he was able to see out of.

“You’re awake.” As Callum took his hand, that touch, that connection, did more for him than any drug ever could. “You’re back.”

Apex tried to nod, but holy hell, his neck hurt. So he just said, “You brought me a rose?”

Callum moved to the side so that the bloom, in its slender vase, could be properly seen. It was not white. It was red. The color of . . .

“You remembered that I liked white flowers,” the wolven said roughly. “So when I went to the florist’s for you, I thought . . . what would he like. What flower would he choose, this vampire . . . of mine.”

That was when he saw the others. There were yellow daffodils, and blue something-or-others, and pink sprays. All in little slender vases.

“Beautiful,” Apex wheezed. Although he wasn’t sure whether he was talking about the buds . . . or the male. “Where am I?”

“The Brotherhood’s training center. The clinic there.”

Apex looked around, seeing all kinds of medical equipment surrounding a hospital bed. Very nice sheets, smooth and soft, had been folded over his bare chest, and the pillows under his head registered as quite luxurious.

“How long . . .”

“Three nights.” Callum ran his thumb back and forth over Apex’s inner wrist. “And it’s going to be a while before you can be safely released. ”

“Were you here—”

“The whole time.” Callum stifled a sob. “And I’m not leaving unless you tell me to—”

“Never.”

“You don’t have to say that.”

“I know.” Apex tried to sit up, and couldn’t manage it, so he just slumped back down on all the very nice bedding. “Why did you come back to the big house? How did you . . . know?”

He was never going to forget the sight of that wolf crashing through that window at just the right time—and going after Remis like the male was a meal he’d ordered for takeout.

Callum sniffled and wiped his eyes. “Are you sure you want to go through all this now—”

“I need to know. It was . . . too close. It was almost . . . over for me.”

There was a moment as the wolven seemed to gather himself. “Well, Mayhem got in touch with Lucan—it took him almost all that day to reach my cousin, and Lucan happened to be in my cave when they finally connected. When I left after you and I . . . after I made that unforgivable mistake, I found my cousin . . . and we talked. All day long. I just . . . kept talking about it all, and getting things more sorted in my head. It wasn’t until the sun had set that Lucan finally checked his phone and got the message you were in serious trouble. We arrived there right as the Brotherhood did.”

“You came for me . . .”

“You’ve always been there for me. Always. Even when I didn’t deserve it. How could I not do the same for you?”

Apex had to look away. Pain that had nothing to do with the physical, and everything to do with the soul, racked him, even through all the drugs that were being pumped in through his IV.

Leaning forward, Callum brushed Apex’s face. “I’m so sorry. For what happened. I was desperate, floundering . . . I’m learning that this healing business is nearly as violent as the trauma itself.”

It would have been nice to take a deep breath. But that was a no go. Even with his healing capabilities, which were so much better than, say, a human’s, Apex knew he was in critical condition.

And that was before you added a broken heart—

“I didn’t want our first time to be . . . that,” Callum whispered. “And I’m going to regret that for the rest of my life. But what I’m not going to do is stop trying to get free of what was done to me. I realized, as I sat up on that mountain and stared out at the valley far, far below, that if I don’t fight for me . . .”

His voice caught and he cleared his throat. “If I don’t fight for me, I can’t fight . . . for us .”

Apex’s eyes shot back to the wolven. Callum’s expression was grim, but intense, his inner conviction such that he appeared to glow with some kind of aura.

“I’m going to sort myself out. I’m not letting her win. This is going to be an ugly fight, Apex, and it’s not going to be linear. But you’ve given me the will to want me back.”

All at once, the world got wavy, and as Apex felt a hot tear sear his cheek, Callum reached out and brushed the wetness away.

“She’s cost me all those years,” the wolven said roughly. “I can’t get them back . . . but if by some miracle, you’ll give me another chance, one last chance—I want to eat Wheaties with you. Every sunset of every night, for however long we live.”

Apex exhaled. “You . . . did hear me.”

“Yes, I did.” Those beautiful husky eyes lowered. “It was too much for me to take in. I’m so fucking broken, Apex. And I’m saying that not for your pity, but because it’s the truth. I’m not a good bet, I know, and this is going to be a long, hard walk back to the land of the living. I really am going to try, though—”

“I love you.”

The wolven went utterly still. That stare lifted. “You don’t have to say that.”

Using all the strength he had, Apex moved his hand over and took the other male’s. “You’re the bravest person I know. And besides . . . I’ve hung on for this long. Why the hell would I get off . . . just before the dawn comes. I’m tougher than that—just like you’re tougher than the past.”

“I love you, too,” Callum said hoarsely as he leaned over the bed. “And I’m going to win this, just so you know.”

Apex smiled a little, even though it made his broken jaw hum. “Of course you will. And yes, I want to watch you eat Wheaties for the rest of my life. But I need you to know that I’m . . . more of a Cap’n Crunch guy.”

They started laughing, at least until Apex groaned and had to stop.

And then came . . . what Apex would forever after consider their first kiss.

It was far, far from their last.