CHAPTER 29

I leaned against the rough stone wall, peering beyond the narrow window to the monstrous army that lay across the land far beneath me. It'd been over a day since our arrival in Farrador, and I still couldn't stop looking at the view. Even when I dreamed, I saw the image. It was as though I hoped it would become an illusion, a hope I clung to every time I gazed out the window and the reality of the situation sunk in.

The room I occupied was far up the western tower of Farrador castle. Brisk winds ripped around the tower, whistling and screaming. The narrow glass shuddered in the thin brass frame, the only noise besides the deep thump of life among the endless camp. The view was yet another reminder of what was to come if I turned my back on my birthright.

War.

"These books are not going to read themselves, Robin," Althea called, discarding a large tome on the chair beside her. She had to be careful not to drop it upon Briar's head where it rested in her lap.

"Wouldn't that be nice," Erix scoffed, barely looking up from the leather-bound journal he skimmed through, his brow set in a constant frown, his eyes narrowed in a squint of concentration. "The sooner the scholars arrive to help, the better."

The scholars' arrival had been postponed time after time. They should've arrived this morning, but lunch was upon us and still there was no sign of help.

"When will they come?" I asked Althea, noticing her shift on her reading chair.

"Soon, I hope," Althea drawled.

"That doesn't sound promising," I said, refusing to look away from her.

Althea chewed on her lower lip, sparing Briar a glance for confidence. "So far no scholar has answered our call for help."

"You've got to be joking," I snapped, my blood turning to ice.

Althea shot me a look; one I didn't need her to vocalise for me to understand. "Mother is trying everything in her power. They reply to our summons, but something is stopping them from actually following through with it."

Erix's stare bore into me. I dared not look, knowing it would likely bring me to my knees.

"They don't want me to find the answers," I said. "That's why, isn't it?"

"Most likely, but that doesn't mean we give up. Not yet," Erix answered.

"This is no good," I moaned, refusing to rejoin the circle of chairs and piles of books that had overtaken the majority of the chamber's living quarters. "Surely those who obtained these books could've narrowed them down. At this rate, The Passing will have come and gone long before we find any answers."

"If there are any answers to find, that is," Erix mumbled.

"Is he always this positive?" Briar's light voice filled the room. Some might've found her tone grating, but Althea seemed to love it, smiling at her as though Briar was a mythical siren, drawing her into a trance with her dulcet tones.

Althea placed her now empty hands upon Briar's short hair and began to comb it with her fingers. "Erix is just struggling to make sense of the words and is losing in our little race. He is bitter that his read pile is smaller than ours."

"Perhaps we refrain from talking about someone as though they are not in the room, huh?" Erix sat up in his lounge chair, dragging his boots from the stool before him and thudding them onto the ground. "And it is taking me longer to sift through my pile because you, so dutifully, gave me the thicker books."

"Is that an excuse, I hear?" Althea chirped, spurring a laugh from Briar, who clapped a hand to her mouth to stifle it. "And I thought you were well adept with thick things, Erix."

Erix closed the book and chucked it across the room at Althea. One quick swing of a hand, and she had knocked it to the floor.

"Would you both stop?" The back and forth between them was fun to endure at first, but we'd all had been in the same spot since before dawn, flitting through the scrolls, books and parchments for some clue as to what was required of me to claim Icethorn. It had been a long day, and my patience wore as thin as ice in spring. The only breaks we'd been allowed were when Althea had me practising calling upon the power within me; short exercises or excuses depending on how you looked at them. It gave us a reprieve from having sore fingertips as a result of turning countless pages. Between the conjuring of magic and the reading of never-ending books, my head felt as though it would implode. "This isn't helping."

"Robin's right. It has been a long day," Althea began. "I say we take a long break, and pick it up tomorrow. I can go and check on the court and see how they are getting on with the scholars. It is no good if we are trying to find answers but our minds are too tired to actually notice them among the pages. We could be skipping over information even now."

I crossed the room, snatching a book from my own pile and falling back into my chair. "We keep going until we find something." No one moved to join me until I looked up with a gaze of pleading. "Please."

Erix reached a hand for my shoulder and held it. "You deserve a rest, as do we. There is no harm in stopping for the day. We will always have tomorrow."

My mind slipped to Tarron, who I'd still not managed to speak with since arriving. This break from researching would be exactly the excuse I needed to see him. Maybe he had answers – he seemed to have them for everything else.

"And what happens if we are still in the same predicament tomorrow evening?" I asked, hands shaking. My heart hammered in my chest, making me press a hand above it as though that would stop it jumping out of its place. It'd been clear that the scholars and historians required to aid our search didn't want us to succeed. I understood why. They wanted to see the soldiers beyond the tower cross the ruined border of Wychwood and lay claim to the land and knowledge beyond. If I didn't accept the Icethorn Court, the magic there would simply make the claim to Durmain easier for the fey.

Not everyone in Farrador nor the Cedarfall Court wished to see me succeed, which only encouraged me further.

"Secrets cannot stay hidden forever," Althea said, snatching my attention. "If there is something to find, we will find it."

"And what if we can't?" I pressed on, anxiety a storm of wings in my chest.

"Put can't in your pocket and pull out try, because that is all we can do," Briar said, smiling as though she didn't realise tension bathed the room.

I didn't know Briar well, but I felt as though I couldn't be sharp with her. Firstly, because she rested in the lap of Althea, who was always deadly like a new blade, and secondly, she was far too kind. Even during this search party through the books, it was all one big game to her. Optimism poured off her in waves, and it was exactly what the room and I needed to hear.

"Briar, you're full of wisdom." Just not the answers I need.

I thanked her in my own way before burying my face in my hands. "You all go. I'll carry on until my eyes bleed. And don't bother telling me not to. You won't get far."

" That is exactly what I was expecting you to say," Althea said, as though she had finally realised something she'd pondered on for years. "Something has changed in you, Robin. Since we arrived to Farrador, you've been like a cat with a thorn in its paw."

"What did you expect of me?" I tried my best not to snap, even though I wanted to. "I didn't know what to imagine when we arrived, but a sea of soldiers from all the courts was not it. No one warned me."

"Robin, stop suggesting you are entitled to information you are not privy to." Althea's words slapped me from across the room. "No one told you because you didn't ask, nor have we particularly had the time to update you on such matters."

My cheeks warmed, and I felt the need to apologise, but I swallowed that need and buried it deep in my gut.

"Althea–" I raised a hand to silence Erix from carrying on.

"I won't let them march on Durmain," I said. "Whether the answers are in these books or not. I will accept the Icethorn Court, and then I will stop this war."

Briar sat up in time for Althea to lean forward, elbows on her knees. "Good. He knows what he wants. And how are you going to ensure it does not happen, Robin?"

Stupid question, since we'd just spent hours trying to find out that answer.

"I just told you," I said, finding her to be slightly grating. Even Erix winced, noticing my reaction.

"Yes, I get that. But then what?" Briar asked, smiling as she spurred me on. "The border may be safe, but the army will still be ready. Hunters will still take fey as they had before your family were killed. What next?"

"I… I…"

Had no words. No answer. Nothing but the vision of thousands of decorated soldiers, weapons in hands, rolling over Durmain like a tidal wave of steel and bone.

"You are merely strengthening the weakened fence that keeps us here and them there. The desire for revenge burns brightly in the people's hearts. That will need smothering if we are ever to have the opportunity to truly say that war is not an option."

For a Taster, she clearly knew more about politics than I did. Perhaps being in the right rooms, around the right people, had filled her with the knowledge.

I fought to keep Briar's gaze, seeing how the skin around her eyes softened as her expression melted into one close to sympathy, aided by a gentle hand that Althea placed upon her thigh.

"I don't know yet," I said.

"Then that is another problem that will have to wait in line. None of that matters if you do not succeed in claiming Icethorn, I suppose."

"Thanks, Briar," I mocked sarcastically.

Her eyes narrowed as her smile grew brighter. "You are welcome, Robin."

All we had found were poems and recountings of the first beings who were given the promise of power in return for ruling what we now knew as the courts, muddled and lyrical stories of Altar, the first fey, bleeding his children dry and filling them each with the soul of a season. And we all had agreed that could not be the answer, at least, I hoped it wasnot.

"Do me a favour, friend." Althea locked eyes with me. "Take a break. Or I'll order Erix to make you."

"But there are still more tomes to search through," Briar spoke up, breaking the tension. It was the first time I saw her with a frown. "I could stay and help. Why not think of it as a game? That might make it less daunting. And if we have no luck, we just have to move our search to a different source."

I fought the urge to snap and tell her that ‘help' wasn't what I wanted right now.

Erix cleared his throat. "We are all open to suggestions."

"Over the coming days, many important figures will arrive in Farrador for the Passing. It is simply a case of listening and talking. Someone may know something that these books do not. I can help."

Guilt sprung in my core. Up until now I'd waved Briar off, disregarding her requests. But this might actually help.

"No," Althea snapped, eyes widening in panic. "I know what you are suggesting, and the answer is no."

"Oh, Althea." Briar cupped Althea's cheek. "You can't keep me swaddled up for all of time. Serving staff are the best for spreading news. If anyone holds information that they should not, it will be them. Give your word, and I can return to my station and dig for a lead. Someone would have heard old tales passed down from families. Others may just know gossip. I can help separate the useful from the not so."

"It is not a bad idea," Erix added, leaning his head back and crossing his arms over his chest as though he was ready to sleep.

"It is a terrible idea, Erix. Do not encourage her." Althea looked as though she could have jumped from her seat and tackled Erix to the ground. "Briar, it is not safe."

"As long as I'm not tasting Robin's food, I'm sure I will be fine," Briar said, not realising the pain her words caused me. Because she was right. I was the only person people wanted dead – it was me who threatened the lives of those who got too close.

"Briar, do not make me beg you to give up on this idea."

"I do not need to return to my station as taster, there are plenty of other jobs I can do." My throat dried at her comment, making it impossible to swallow without making a gulping noise. "Althea, you may be my princess, but I'm grown-up and can make this decision."

Briar may have been quiet and kind, but I could see she knew how to work someone into a corner to get what she wanted.

"Fine," Althea barked, although her face was pinched in tension as though that single word took effort to spit out. "But only until The Passing. Your pardon from your station still stands."

Pardon? I shared a glance with Erix, who noticed the strange choice of wording.

Briar leaned forward, smacking a kiss upon Althea's lips. I felt my mouth tug upwards without realising.

"Whilst Briar is doing that, I will use the time to speak with the courts themselves," Althea said. "I will have to be cautious as Elmdew and Oakstorm don't want you to stop the war, but I have ways of getting answers to questions without truly asking anything."

"I feel as though I should have some clever idea to help." Erix's deep voice rolled over the room. "But I suppose I will stick to the books for now."

"Make sure Robin's eyes don't fall out," Althea added. "He's going to need them."

The tugging of my lips turned into a full smile as I surveyed the group before me. Erix, Althea and Briar had become a team that I did not know I needed.

"Thank you, all of you," I said finally. "It helps to know I have others backing me; it makes the idea of the unknown that bit less daunting."

"But still pretty daunting?" Althea winced before laughing.

"Nasty girl." Briar nudged into her side, joining in with the laugh.

Erix reached for me and took my hand. I didn't care if Althea watched, she had seen us in a far more incriminating position than this. So I let him entwine our fingers together. His hand was warm, large fingers folding over mine and holding tight.

"Surely you did not think we would let you face the unknown alone?" Erix said softly, brows peaked above his grin.

I smiled up at him, wanting nothing more than to lay my head on his lap, as Briar had with Althea, and lose myself in his touch. His taste. "With you, how could I possibly feel alone?"

"He is like a weed, isn't he?" Althea whispered, conjuring a sharp giggle from Briar. "Sticky and entrapping."

I gave them a wink, which pinched Erix's chiselled cheeks pink. "I'm certainly pretty ensnared by him."

"Good," Erix whispered, his strong nose scrunching as he made a face at me. "That's exactly how I want you to feel."

Althea and Briar grew bored of our company and left in a cloud of pinching hands and light kisses, discarding their books on the remaining pile for Erix and me to search through without much of a thought.

Erix grew tired, eyes hardly able to stay open whilst he scanned the book across his lap. Whereas I didn't have that luxury, with the horror of possibility that clung to my mind, I could hardly imagine sleeping until I found the answer… whatever form that came in.

We did well for a short while, until a knock sounded at the door of the room. Reluctantly, I left the warmth of the nook I had made in Erix's embrace to answer it.

"Gyah," I murmured, surprised to see the warrior waiting beyond the threshold. I looked behind her, half expecting food to be brought as it had been the night prior, but the corridor was only full of new guards that lined the length of it. "Do you want to come in?"

She shook her head, dark curls tucked neatly behind the points of her ears. "I have been asked to provide you with this letter of summons."

Gyah revealed a small, folded parchment from her breast pocket, offering it to me between two fingers.

I took it from her, unfolded it and read the short note twice, then once again, because I could not quite believe the invitation that waited upon it.

We have much to discuss. Join me for dinner.

Tarron.

I looked back at her, wondering if she knew the contents. A flash of my father's image filled my head, followed by the stoic face of Tarron as he rode with our campaign when he should've been returning home. I put his presence down to the fact that his court was required in Farrador for the Passing, but that still didn't explain why I felt misled.

"I will wait for you, if you accept the invitation," Gyah said, face void of any expression. Her eyes flickered towards the room as though she expected Erix to be inside. "Tarron will not like to be kept waiting."

"Do I not have the luxury to decline?" I asked, unsure how I would tell Erix of the reason for my departure.

Gyah looked through me as she replied. " Tarron Oakstorm told me to tell you that it would be a waste of delicious food and equally delicious conversation, Robin." She repeated her words again, this time slower as though I hadn't truly understood them before, emphasised by the scolding use of my name. "So I will wait for you here."

Something was wrong; I could see it clearly across the taut, tense lines that haunted Gyah's expression.

I closed the door on her slowly, closing my fist around the note, already giving her my answer. My mind raced with what to tell Erix. Lie after lie filled my thoughts as options, but as he looked up at me over the top of the book, I could only tell him the truth.

"Tarron has invited me to dine with him tonight."

Erix laughed, returning his attention to the book dismissively. "Then he is going to have one very lonely meal with far too much to eat."

"I didn't decline."

"Pardon?"

I closed the space between us, plucking the book from his hands and placing it cover-spread on the table beside his chair. "He might have answers we've been looking for. I could speak with him and–"

"Tarron would be the first to gladly see you fail. You and I both know he won't aid you by revealing any information that will jeopardise his plans of domination and revenge." Erix scooped me into his arms, pulling me down onto his lap. "Refuse his invitation, and we can eat together. I promise for more interesting conversation and even better dessert."

"I'm going, Erix." I kept my voice stern, not wrapping my arms back around his shoulders even though I longed to. There were other answers Tarron could give me, ones I hadn't dared share with anyone else. "I understand you have a history, but I promise it's not like that between us. I'm not a prize to be fought after. But I must go – for my father."

Erix knew he couldn't argue with that, but he tried anyway. "What if I told you I don't want you to go to him?"

"I would apologise–" My lips tugged downwards, the frown creasing my forehead, revealed by Erix sweeping the strands of dark hair from my eyes "– then remind you that you don't control me."

Erix's frown set my stomach at unease "Little bird." He was panicking. I could see it in the fidgeting of his hands and the inability to keep his eyes from darting around my face and body. "I do not wish to control you. But I cannot lie and pretend this does not make me feel uncomfortable… the thought of you both sharing a meal. Alone."

"Why?" I asked him. Give me a good enough reason, and I will decline . Push my questioning for another day and stay with him here. I wanted that. Not to go to Tarron, but to stay locked within this room with Erix.

"I do not trust him, that is why." There was an urgency in his deepening voice.

"Do you trust me?" I asked.

He leaned into me, pressing his nose to my own. My eyes crossed as I held his gaze. "Am I a soft fool to say I do?"

I smiled. "A soft fool, yes. But not for that reason."

"Then I will come with you. I am your personal guard after all, and what he has to say in front of you, he can say with me in the room."

The invitation had not suggested a limit on who joined the dinner, but the conversation I needed to have with Tarron was not for Erix's ears. Not yet. Not until I learned to trust him in return.

"Erix, I'm going to ask you to wait here for me," I said, pulling myself from his grasp and standing from his lap. "Keep the bed warm for my return."

"But–" He pushed himself to stand, but I stopped him with a hand on his chest.

"Please… let me do this." The cord in my chest tightened as I looked back at Erix. "Gyah brought me the note. If you don't trust Tarron, then believe that Gyah will be my escort. I'm safe with her."

Erix trembled with the desire to reach for me, to hold me in place. But slowly and with arms shaking, he lowered himself back to the chair. "If Tarron makes a move, I give her permission to shift and rip his head from his shoulders."

"Now, now, Erix," I replied, wanting nothing more than to kiss away those lines across his tensed jaw. "Back in Durmain, that treasonous talk would get you killed if referring to a royal."

Erix's head tilted forward, looking up at me through his dark lashes. There was something sinister about his stare; it was the first time he looked at me like this, and hopefully the last. Then he replied, tone pointed and dangerous. "I would love to see him try."