CHAPTER 10

I slept well, considering the events of the day. It'd likely been the longest day I'd ever lived through. One I never wished to revisit again. For the first time in a long time, I'd woken in my own time, swaddled in heavy, stiff blankets as though I was a baby in a crib, the feathered pillow so pregnant that my head drowned in it, blocking out all sound around me. When I'd closed my eyes, it was as if I floated in a sea of nothingness.

The new room was smaller than the first, windowless and buried deep in the pits of the manor. It seemed to be far below ground where natural light didn't reach it. Undying flames burned in lamps throughout the modest room, reflecting a halo of burnt orange light across the chunky, mundane oak furniture that filled the room. Not that I was complaining, for it was far more comfortable than the room I'd left behind. Small, like the bedroom I left behind in Grove.

I loved the seclusion, mainly for the quiet but also for the added fact that no windows meant no flying demons smashing through to get me. And as I blinked the sleep from my eyes, the vision of the gryvern still seemed as prevalent in my mind as it had before I'd fallen into sleep.

A young, nervous-looking girl entered after knocking on the closed door. For a moment, before she came in, I stared at the door as though my silence would succumb to an answer. Did she wait for my invitation or signal that I was awake? But soon enough, she slipped into the room, and the door opened enough for me to catch the glint of armour beyond it.

I was still being guarded, whether from the gryvern or something else, I wasn't entirely certain. But nevertheless, fey warriors, each decorated with weapons that I couldn't name, were close.

That gave me a sense of comfort.

After what Althea had explained about my suggested heritage, I understood I was highly important. And that caused a sickening yet thrilling bubbling to fill my empty stomach.

The Icethorn Court. My mother was dead .

As though sleep had muffled the grief, it all came flooding back at once, popping the bubbles of thrill in my stomach, leaving me only feeling sick.

I snapped out of the daze as the clinking of silverware rattled before me. The young girl lowered a tray across the crumpled bedding, bowing her ginger-haired head low. I tugged the blanket up to my chin, covering my chest, and forced a smile of appreciation.

"Thank you," I said, trying to lighten the obvious tension. "I'm so hungry I could eat an entire horse."

She reacted as though I'd screamed bloody murder. The young girl suddenly turned, her little feet pattering across the slabbed floor as she exited in a rush, still careful not to slam the door on the way out.

"It's a figure of speech… I don't really want to eat a horse," I called after her, swallowing my shout towards the end as a guard caught my line of sight before the door closed again.

Strange, that was the only way I could sum up the interaction. How she couldn't look at me in the eyes, or how her hands shook as she presented me with the tray of food.

She was scared, or at least uneased by my presence. Had she seen what I'd done to the first room? Or was she more frightened that if she lingered too close to me, the gryvern would return and take her too?

One thing was clear, I was starving.

I wasted no time checking on the food she left. My mouth watering with anticipation. I ate the warmed sausage, toasted bread and cheese without leaving a scrap behind. It hardly filled the void, but it would do. Once the plate was empty, I clambered from bed and changed back into the clothing I'd worn when Althea and Erix had escorted me into this secluded room. The only difference was the creased material, caused by leaving them in a forgotten heap on the floor.

Father would scold me if he saw, and that thought made me smile. For a man with little to his name, he taught me to take pride in what we did have. Keeping him in mind, I brushed my hands over the shirt and trousers to ease the creases out.

Did he know she'd died? The thought came so suddenly, it almost made me spew the contents of my full stomach over the bedsheet.

"A horse?" Erix asked as he slipped through the door, unannounced. I couldn't tell if it was my audible shout of surprise or the way I held my fists up before my face that had him grinning from ear to ear. His smile lit the room, teeth white and straight with the smallest gap between his front two. "You've got the entire serving quarters alight with rumours that humans actually eat horses… I hope you understand what damage you have caused."

My cheeks burned hot as the weight of his sudden, overwhelmingly chipper mood bored down on me. "It was a…" I shook my head, silencing the attempt at an excuse. "Do any of you know how to knock on a door?"

Erix stepped back, lips pouting as he pressed a hand to his chest. "How devilishly rude of me. Here, let me try again."

Before I could contest, he opened the door and left, closing it softly in his wake. There was a pause – only brief – followed by a rap of knuckles on the other side. "May I come in?"

"Was that necessary?" I felt even embarrassed as I caught glimpses of the armoured, stern-faced guards who likely wondered what was going on between us.

"I only did as you asked." Erix nodded his head, the skin around his silver eyes scrunching in lines at their corners. "I'm sorry for my unannounced appearance this afternoon. I will do my best to remember it going forward."

"Afternoon?" I spluttered.

Amused, he carried on. "You have been sleeping for a long while, and your body must have required it, for the guards were instructed not to wake you. I was beginning to think you would never wake, but when the snoring ceased, I knew it was only a matter of moments until hunger brought you back to the land of the living."

"I – do – not – snore," I retorted, turning away from him so he could not see the shadow of red creeping up the skin of my neck.

"Of course, little bird," Erix drawled, and I was thankful for him shifting the conversation.

"Robin," I corrected, balling the bedsheets in my fists.

Erix ignored me, but from the look of amusement brightening his eyes, I knew he'd enjoyed playing this little game with me. "Althea has given me orders to keep you occupied whilst she is busy dealing with the arrival of the Cedarfall family. I had an entire morning and afternoon planned out, but we hardly have a few hours left until you are expected at dinner."

Was that why he was stripped of his armour, leaving him in black trousers that hugged the thick swell of his thighs and the off-white tunic that exposed the defined line delineating his chest? It was close to impossible to keep my eyes everywhere above the nape of his neck.

There were no men like Erix in Grove. Not in the fey sense, but in the way that the men back home seemed to have fewer teeth and more… desperation. Erix was incredible in his armour. I would've been a fool not to notice. But seeing him so casual sent a shiver across my skin.

"What… what did you have in mind?" I didn't refuse, for a conversation with Erix would lead to more answers, and it was rather more pleasing than sitting here alone. I was never one for sitting still.

"Since we do not have long, and you have only just eaten breakfast, how about a stroll around the city? It would be my honour to give you the grand tour. That way, you can see some sights and prepare your stomach for the feast that is to come this eve."

A flash of melted flesh, gaunt hollow eyes and ripped, leathered wings filled the shadows of my mind. "Is it safe? What with the flesh-starved monster that ripped a room apart to get to me… did you forget about that when drafting up your plans?"

Erix shifted his imposing frame and leaned on his hip, crossing both arms across his chest and threatening the very existence of the threading across the seams. "First, I am offended you think I could not handle myself against the gryvern."

"Well, you did hide behind a door," I reminded him.

He winced. "Good point. And secondly, we will, of course, be shadowed by a great number of guards who would be ready to cull anyone or anything that got too close to you."

I wanted to question him on the anyone part of his comment but chose ignorant bliss.

"Come on. Aurelia is most beautiful during the late evenings when the sleepy sun's beams lay their final light through the leaves of the city's namesake." He extended an arm, the crook of it presented as an invitation. I stared at his arm as though it was the most peculiar thing I'd seen. Erix must've noticed my hesitation, as he soon lowered it, lips lined with disappointment, before he motioned for the door. "It is time for you to spread your wings, little bird, before it is determined if they will be clipped by the council."

I almost corrected him again, but the nickname was starting to not bother me as much.

The council, Erix explained as we left the manor shadowed by the promised guards, was no more than a glorified family meeting over wine and dinner. In fact, he called it a ball. I hoped he didn't notice the colour drain from my face as he explained the entire Cedarfall Court was currently travelling to Aurelia to see me. And from his description, there were many family members of the Cedarfall bloodline. Even Erix couldn't answer my question with a number, only waving off the comment with a rough estimation of between twenty and thirty.

It was common knowledge to humans that the fey lived far longer lifespans than them. Not immortal, but not mortal either. Something in between. However, I couldn't imagine how ancient the ruling king and queen must have been to have so many children and grandchildren.

"I get the impression I'm about to be paraded before a crowd who fear me – or at least what I stand for," I said, wrapping my arms over my chest as the chill of the late autumn breeze flitted around me. We soon began our incline up a twisting wooden path that was erected upon one of the great trees the city was nestled beneath. It wrapped around the hulking trunk but didn't seem awfully secure as the wind shook it beneath each footfall.

"The feast will be brief, meant more as a celebration for the city. If the occupants of Aurelia see the arrival of the Cedarfall Court and a feast is not put on, they will gossip that something is amiss. It will cause unease, which is not what they need at this time. First, we will celebrate, and then the Council will begin behind more private doors."

I could hardly imagine what the feast would be like. Far different from the drunken May Day celebrations in Grove when we danced and drank and… partook in other events beneath the clear, spring evenings. No one wore grand garments as we didn't have that sort of money to spend having them made. Being one of the furthest villages from the capital of Durmain, it meant clothing and finery weren't as easily obtainable.

Yet, among this city, I knew it would be far different. Perhaps the complete opposite. Already the occupants of Aurelia we'd passed by were decorating the exteriors of their homes and shops. Across the leaf-covered streets, fey strung banners between buildings and lit glowing lanterns made from brown-, red- and orange-stained papers.

"All this because I said I would eat a horse?" I joked, dealing with the nerves with humour.

Erix walked beside me, sparing me a quick glance, the corners of his lips tugging into a smile. "That may or may not get brought up tonight. However, I do wish to see your face turn red if it does."

Even as he spoke, I felt the disobedient wave of warmth flood up my neck. Turning away, I looked backwards, glimpsing the sea of guards who trailed behind us. Perhaps I should've felt more uneasy, knowing what creatures longed for my slaughter. But I didn't. It had much to do with the weapons they held and the hilt of Erix's sword that his hand seemed to linger on without much thought.

"I admit, I am fascinated with you," Erix announced as we continued our climb, leaving the ground level of Aurelia far beneath us.

"How so?" I said, thankful my voice did not crack. Boys had said similar things to me, but never a man. Never one like Erix.

"Just how little you know of your potential."

"Well, I'm glad I take up so much of your mental space." I regretted saying it the second the last word was out my mouth.

Erix didn't tell me I was wrong with my assumption.

"Tell me, what it was like growing up among the humans?"

"It was…" I began, mind swirling to visions of my past. "All I knew. Normal. My hometown was plain and dull, but somewhere I've always felt, somewhat, welcome. I imagine you would scoff at it, having grown up in Cedarfall."

"You take me for someone who peers down the tip of their nose?" he asked, a hint of surprise melting beneath his tone of offence.

"I don't know you well enough to answer that," I replied quickly.

"You're not wrong there. But since you are being so open with me, I will share a fact about myself. Consider it a trade. I did not grow up in Cedarfall, but in another court. I came here when I was a young boy, young enough that I should have not come alone, but old enough to know it was the right decision."

There was a further story there, but I did not feel comfortable enough to pry.

"Which court do you belong to?" I questioned.

"Ah-ah," he said, wagging a long finger before me as he studied me through a narrowed stare. "It is my time to ask you a question. Something personal."

"Like what?"

Erix ran his fingers down his jaw in contemplation. "What do you fear the most?"

" That is what you care to know?"

Erix's finger trailed down his neck, catching in the collar of his shirt. I followed it down, drinking in the shadowing of a beard that accentuated the sharp line of his jaw, to the fine hairs caught over his chest. "If I am to be your personal guard for the foreseeable future, I think I should be privy to this type of information."

"Personal guard!" I didn't know what was worse. Having two shadows, or one of them being Erix with his sheepish smile and lingering, intense gaze.

"Unless you petition that you think you will be fine without one, that is." Erix leaned in, whispering through the corner of his mouth. "Although between you and me, until you get some proper training of your abilities and what it means to be an Icethorn, I think someone with extra… steel would come in rather handy."

A blush crept from my thickening throat to my cheeks. Although Erix's sarcastic nature was grating, I couldn't ignore the way his comments conjured a grin across my face.

"The dark," I answered.

"Say that again?" He peaked a single brow.

"I'm frightened of the dark," I replied, staring ahead. "That's what you wanted to know. Now it's your turn, Erix. What're you going to do as my personal guard to combat that? Brandish your… extra steel and keep it back with your rather intoxicating nature?"

He paused in his response, and I did not look at him to see how my sharp comment affected his expression. But the long sigh that followed had me gritting my teeth in preparation for his retort. "I can't answer that question, but the next time you find yourself in a dark room, little bird, just call for me. Then we will see how I react."

There was no controlling the blush that erupted over my face. I skipped a step ahead so Erix didn't see.

I was never more thankful for the twisting, continuous walkway to change into a flat podium. It was made from wood, much like the swaying path, but it was not moving with each step. Fixed to the large body of the tree, it was static and gave way to the most wonderous of views.

We were so high up that I could almost reach out and pluck one of the golden leaves from the branches above. Some fell like gilded ash, landing on my head, shoulders and around my feet. I plucked one from my shoulder, noticing the golden dust that was left behind. Rubbing my finger and thumb across its smooth surface, it left its glittering remnants beneath my touch.

"It is said that when Altar first died, the great trees of Aurelia grew in mourning. They grew and grew, far past what was normal, only stopping when the tears of the fey of Wychwood dried up."

"I've never heard much about Altar." The humans believed in another god. The Creator, who birthed the world and waited in the ether for the day when he returned to destroy it. And he was far from described as dead. He was simply… sleeping. Waiting for a time when we grew lazy and forgetful of him. But never had we learned about Altar – perhaps strategically, to almost pretend the fey and their god didn't exist. None of the books I had read or stories that had been shared ever told of such things.

"And I do not expect for you to have known either," Erix said, reaching for my face. I closed my eyes in anticipation, and then the subtle shift of my hair followed as he took a leaf from it. I opened my eyes to see him pull back, studying the leaf with intense concentration.

"I am intrigued by you, but I too hold some level of pity. Brought up in a world whose people hunt our kind for coin. The humans are terrible, hateful and full of unkind beliefs. Yet here you are, seemingly normal but with a mind that is still closed off from us; I can see that in those dark, unending eyes of yours. You know nothing of your lineage, let alone what it means to be fey. Yet you will be thrust into a world where much is expected of you. Robin, forgive us for what you will soon uncover. We do not all share the same visions of the future, and to some, you present a new possibility of a future that many will not welcome so willingly. Remember that. And if you ever require reminding, as your personal guard, I will only be a short distance away."

At first, his words felt like a slap to my cheek, but the phantom touch soon melted to something softer, kinder, as he held my gaze.

I dropped the now rumpled leaf to the ground, where it fell without grace. Shaking my head, I looked down and broke the heavy silence. "Not that I am keeping count, but I believe it's my time to ask you a question."

When I peered up through my lashes at the giant of a man, I noticed how the smile he presented didn't quite reach his eyes. They seemed darker, haunted by something that lingered in his mind unseen. "Perhaps my story is one best left for another day. And we will have many of those ahead."

"Closing the book before I even have the chance to turn the first page?" I said, lifting the corner of my lip upwards.

"We should return to the manor and prepare for the night's events."

"You cannot get out of it that easy…" I said, stepping before him, blocking the pathway back down to the city.

"What if I told you your father has likely arrived and will be wondering where you are?"

I stuttered, heart leaping in my chest so that I had to press a hand atop it. "Already?"

He nodded, peering over my shoulder. "Only one way to find out."

My question for him died on the tip of my tongue, forgotten. Without hesitation, we turned back to the castle, trailing down the swaying pathway with quicker footsteps, and all my storming mind could think about was Father.

But somewhere, in the depths of my mind, I couldn't help but feeling like Erix and I had left something unspoken on the podium far above us. And the thought of returning to him to uncover it didn't disturb me as much as it likely would have hours before.