18. Kushiel

It was like every one of Kushiel's inappropriate thoughts had suddenly come to life. Not that he meant to have inappropriate thoughts, but he couldn't seem to help himself. Cass was so beautiful, and when his voice got husky, or when he said certain things, Kushiel's mind went to carnal pleasures.

He wasn't a blushing virgin, although really, by how often he was blushing around Cass, the man probably thought he was. Cass probably didn't even mean anything sexual in nature. At least Kushiel had assumed that.

Right until the moment he barged in on Cass touching himself.

He'd heard Cass groan, and he'd told himself that Cass was fine, probably just enjoying a hot shower. If his mind had gone to thinking about Cassius naked in the shower… Well, could he be blamed? Then the groan had come again, and he'd been jerked out of his lustful thoughts, because what if Cass was hurt?

So he'd opened the shared bathroom door, only Cass was definitely not hurt.

By all of heaven and hell and the afterlife, Cassius was beautiful. He was naked, but he hadn't stepped into the shower yet, and his freckles did indeed spread out across his entire body. Kushiel barely had the thought of kissing each and every one before he was distracted by Cass's dick, which was gripped in his hand, bright red and hard and oh so mouth watering. When Cass had looked over, Kushiel had covered his own erection, mortified at his reaction.

When Cass told him to uncover, calling him "Kush" and saying that he was the one who had made Cass hard, he couldn't help but obey, letting his hands fall away. He shivered minutely at the nickname and in pleasure at the thought that he had made Cass hard, even if he did find that difficult to believe.

When Cass ordered him to watch, relief and lust both burst through him. It was blissful to not have to think about what was right to do in this situation. If Cass told him to do it, then it was ok.

He would do anything Cass wanted. He would do anything for Cass.

"Or do you want to do more than just watch?" Cass asked.

Kushiel's eyes sprang up to Cass's face. He spoke without thinking it through. "I will do anything you want me to do, Cassius. Anything at all," he whispered, and oh, how he meant it.

Cassius smiled wickedly, stalking over to him. Kushiel had to suppress the urge to back up. It wasn't that he was afraid; it was just that Cassius was so… everything. He had never wanted anything in his existence as much as he wanted Cass's touch in that moment, and he was afraid of how strong his longing was. He felt like a string pulled so tightly that it would snap.

"Shhh," Cassius whispered, reaching his hand out and caressing Kushiel's face. Kushiel closed his eyes, reveling in the warmth of skin against his cheek. Cass's hand trailed down to his mouth, outlining his lips, and Kushiel felt short of breath as Cass let his thumb sink into Kushiel's mouth. He caressed the end of Cass's thumb with his tongue, and when Cass groaned, he sucked on the skin in his mouth.

Cass tasted better than anything in heaven ever had.

"So beautiful, Kush. So fucking sexy," Cass whispered. He withdrew his thumb, sliding his hand down Kushiel's chest until he reached a nipple, then sliding the wet thumb over the peak and causing Kushiel to gasp.

"Look at me, baby. Open those beautiful eyes and look at me," Cass demanded, and Kushiel did.

He got lost in the hazel of Cass's eyes. They were like gemstones, bright and shining and filled with beauty.

Cass's hand trailed down lower, his eyebrows raising in question, but Kushiel said nothing. He thought if Cass didn't touch him he might cease to exist, that was how much he wanted it. He wanted Cass pressed up against him, skin to skin, but he was still and silent, afraid to break the moment, afraid to ask for too much.

He would take whatever Cass would give him.

But it was like Cass knew, and maybe he did somehow, because Cass was walking forward, pushing Kushiel back with his body until he bumped gently into the wall. Cass pressed up against him, their bare chests touching, their lips a mere whisper apart.

Cass brought his hips forward into Kushiel's, and their cocks rubbed together, separated only by the thin material of Kushiel's pants. Kushiel groaned at the contact, fighting to keep his eyes open. That simple pressure was almost enough to send him over the edge.

"My Kushiel. So gentle and kind and giving. You'd give me anything, wouldn't you, Kush?" Cass asked, his hips thrusting rhythmically into Kushiel's. The pleasure was beyond anything Kushiel remembered, and he fought to hold back, overcome with waves of lust.

"Yes," Kushiel breathed out. "Anything, Cassius."

Cass's hands reached down, sliding Kushiel's pants down. Cass's cock slid against his own, and then Cass's hand grabbed onto both of them, stroking their dicks together.

"Cassius!" Kushiel gasped out. Cass's hand was touching him, Cass's dick was rubbing up against his, and then Cass was leaning forward and pressing their lips together, sliding his tongue out to lick along the seam of Kushiel's mouth, and it was too much.

Too much sensation. Too much pleasure. So much joy in being touched, and Kushiel couldn't hold back—his hips bucked, and he felt Cass's cock rub along the sensitive underside of the head of his own cock.

Cass groaned in pleasure, murmuring against his mouth, "So good for me. My sexy angel, shining so beautifully for me. My Kush."

The nickname almost made him come, and when Cass's tongue invaded his mouth, touching against his own, his hips jerked again. Cass's hand squeezed tightly around them both, and that time Kushiel couldn't stop the orgasm that crashed into him, lightning sizzling down his spine, his entire body jerking with the sensation.

He had a millisecond of regret, of feeling selfish and foolish for coming so quickly, but Cass groaned, "Yes, baby. Come for me, Kush. Come all over my dick."

Kushiel's cock spurted again with the words, and a feeling of utter bliss at pleasing Cassius rolled through him along with his orgasm, prolonging it.

"Look at us, Kush. So pretty together," Cass panted.

Cassius continued to jerk them, his hand faster, their dicks sliding against each other, and it was almost painful how intense the pleasure was against his sensitive cock. Kushiel watched their dicks peek up out of Cass's hand as it slid up and down, his cum making everything slick and messy.

"So sexy you came for me, Kush. So beautiful," Cass groaned, and somehow Kushiel was still hard, and Cass's words and the feeling of their cocks together was like an ocean that was drowning Kushiel in sensation.

He would gladly drown for Cassius.

Cass looked at him, and it felt like he was looking inside Kushiel, and his eyes held wonder, and so much more that Kushiel was even afraid to think about.

"Kush!" Cass growled out, and his release spurted out, coating his hand and Kushiel's cock. Kushiel whimpered as he felt his own cock jerk in response, a second orgasm ripping through him, the intensity so bright and sharp that it felt like he might fly apart into a million pieces.

But Cass's mouth was on his, grounding him, their lips pressed together, their tongues sliding against each other, their breaths mingling.

Cass's hand eased and stopped moving, but he still held onto them. Kushiel felt like it was all that was holding him together.

"So beautiful," Cass whispered again, and Kushiel had to blink, because for some reason his eyes felt wet.

Cass's other hand was petting his chest, and Cass searched his face. Kushiel felt like he should say something, or do something, but Cass just whispered, "Shhh," and nuzzled into his neck.

So Kushiel let his eyes fall closed and reveled in their skin touching, in Cass's hand on their dicks as they grew soft, on his other hand idly rubbing up and down Kushiel's chest.

He would live in this moment for all eternity if he could. He finally knew what perfection felt like, and he didn't know how he would ever give it up.

It was like Cass could again read him, because Kushiel found himself being gently ushered into the shower, his pants and scarf left behind on the floor. Cass soaped up his body gently, sliding it along his skin, and Kushiel stood and let himself just feel. So much pleasure again, although softer and gentler this time.

Cass pulled Kushiel's head down, and he lathered shampoo into Kushiel's hair. His lover's hands gently massaged his scalp, and Kushiel didn't ever think he'd experienced such a sensation.

He felt like he had been in a fog since he had walked into the bathroom, and his head started to clear, his thoughts coming back into order.

"Back with me, Kush?" Cass asked gently, still rubbing Kushiel's scalp, Cass's fingertips sending little frissons of pleasure through his body.

He wondered idly if he could be "Kush" in moments like this. When Cass was caressing him, perhaps he did not have to be Kushiel, the Rigid One of God, the Angel of Punishment. Perhaps he did not have to be the gray angel. The outcast.

Perhaps, as Cass's lover, he could simply be Kush.

It was such a lovely thought that he felt tears spring to his eyes again, and Cass's lips pressed gently against his own.

"You're so beautiful, Kush," Cass declared.

Cass was always telling him that, and yet he could see Kushiel as he actually was. It sent more shivers through him, and he had the urge to give Cassius back some of the pleasure he was receiving. He wanted to touch this perfect human who had made him feel such joy. Such love.

He would not shy away from thinking it, because he had felt loved by Cassius. His human was generous and loving, and Kushiel would not allow himself to hope too much, but he would take what Cass would give him, and he would give everything in return.

Kushiel would not allow himself to hope, but Kush… Kush would love Cassius with every bit of his being, and he would hope for Cass's love in return.