Chapter Sixteen

Lady Juniper and Miss Semper had read the awful letter and Lady Juniper had pronounced judgment on Lord Bramley. He was a scoundrel.

"Oh I did hope it wasn't so," Miss Semper said.

Constance did not suppose Miss Semper could have hoped any harder than she herself had. But all the hoping in the world had not been enough.

Lady Juniper murmured, "Wait a moment," and picked up the letter again. "Lady Constance, you never did say what your actual dowry was, just that it was a bit more than people might think. This says it is an enormous inheritance."

Constance nodded, no longer wishing to keep the secret from Lady Juniper and Miss Semper. "It is twenty-thousand. Twenty-three thousand if you count what I initially brought."

Miss Semper's teacup clattered on its saucer.

"Well that is quite a bit more than I imagined," Lady Juniper said.

"I know, and I did wish to say," Constance said, "but my mother and father and I and Letty made a pact that we would never reveal it to anybody until the signing of a marriage contract."

"That was clever," Miss Semper said. "I might have thought to do the same, but I feel my large dowry is one of my primary attractions. My father says it is like wearing the finest clothes—gentlemen cannot look away."

"And the rest of the letter?" Lady Juniper said, seeming to not wish to delve into the idea that Miss Semper's dowry was worn as fine clothes. "Does it make sense that Lord Bramley could have discovered your secret from a sea captain?"

Constance nodded. "The relative who left me the inheritance lived in America and we brought him over to bury him in our churchyard. He was well-known in New York and my mother made the arrangements, so the captain could easily have guessed at the circumstances. It just never occurred to us that he'd do anything with the information or know anybody who might be interested in it."

"This is not the conclusion of our investigation that we were hoping for," Lady Juniper said. "Miss Semper and I were both encouraged at the dinner last evening. Lord Bramley very specifically wished to know if you were on the duchesses' list of ladies for her secrets exposed party."

The turmoil of her mind had pushed any thought of that particular party right out of her thoughts. How on earth could she smile and get through it? Lord Bramley was one of the gentlemen chosen to carry the envelopes to his selected ladies—it had seemed such good fun that he would come to her house with it. Now, she just dreaded it.

"At the dinner, I proposed that I would expect him to come to my house with one of his seven envelopes," Lady Juniper said, "and he was none too enthusiastic about the prospect. It was his father who seemed eager about it. I really was convinced that he was disinterested in dowries."

"And then we did press him very hard about what his plans were for the estate, but he would only admit to expanding the stables by a few stalls," Miss Semper said. "He revealed nothing about any grand plans that might be made with a large dowry."

"Indeed, we were very encouraged, but that was before we discovered that you are the richest heiress amongst us and he knows it. Dastardly, is what this is."

"Well," Constance said with a deep sigh, "I wished to know, and now I do know. Really, something inside of me has known all along. I am well aware that I am no diamond of the first water. All along, I was trying to convince myself that he somehow preferred a lady of my not very prepossessing looks."

Both Lady Juniper and Miss Semper stared at her, seeming very surprised. She supposed they would be—Lady Jane had told her enough times to stop commenting on her looks, as it just made people uncomfortable.

"But I think you're lovely," Miss Semper said.

"That is very kind," Constance said.

"Lady Constance," Lady Juniper said sternly, "I do not know where you've got such ideas but you must put them aside this instant. We are all very comely women, if I do include myself in that. Lady Theodora is said to be this season's diamond and what do I see? A woman so pale and insipid that she would disappear were she standing in front of white curtains."

Constance laughed despite herself. She really did admire Lady Juniper's confidence in all things.

"Gracious," Miss Semper said, "I do not like to speak ill of anybody, but I was rather startled by the veins in her neck—they are very blue."

"There we are then," Lady Juniper said, seeming satisfied with Miss Semper's assessment. "Whether Lord Bramley prefers a frightenedly blue-veined lady or your more attractive coloring is neither here nor there. He knows about your fortune and he has kept that a secret from you."

The upset and nerves that had overtaken Constance when she'd read the letter began to harden into something else. There was a sort of fury in it. How dare he play with her feelings in such a manner? He really had worked hard to convince her to like him.

As the letter said, what a mask of disinterest he wore.

"He's bound to come to your house with an envelope from the secrets exposed party," Miss Semper said. "What shall you do about it? Bar the door?"

Constance did not see how she could bar the door. Though, she did not wish to open the door either.

"Lady Constance will face it head on," Lady Juniper said, "and we, as The Stalwarts, will face it with her. I am certain he will come to visit you and I too, Miss Semper. He will not want to, but he was cornered into it at the dinner."

"Oh yes, he rather was," Miss Semper said.

"If the duchess' directions in the envelopes we receive are at all similar to past years, we will be asked to describe the gentleman bringing it," Lady Juniper said. "Last season, it was a four-line poem. We do not know what we will be faced with this year, but we now know what Lord Bramley is and we will proceed accordingly."

"How, though?" Miss Semper asked.

"We will simply follow our instincts, Miss Semper. We are all very like and bound to come up with similar responses."

Constance was not certain that was true. She actually thought they were all very different. Nevertheless, she was comforted by their solidarity of purpose. She did not know what she would have done if she had been left to face this situation alone.

"I have sometimes wondered," she said, "if I did discover that Lord Bramley was fortune hunting, might I not overlook it? Might not something grow between us over time? Despite his initial motives?"

"Gracious," Miss Semper said, "that seems rather a big gamble. What if it did not? You would be left heartbroken and wishing you had not made the mistake."

"Yes, that's true," Constance said reluctantly. Of course, she knew it was true all along, she only wished it were not.

"Miss Semper is very wise in this matter," Lady Juniper said. "You do not know the real Lord Bramley and would have no idea who you would be faced with when it was safe for him to drop his mask. We all know examples of it from our own neighborhoods—unhappy ladies who were charmed and deceived."

"Oh yes," Miss Semper said. "In my neighborhood, there is a viscount who gambled away his wife's money. It seems he absolutely cannot stop himself from wagering whatever he can get his hands on. I believe their estate is mortgaged now; I cannot think what they will do about it. Every time I see the viscountess she seems as if she might burst into flames at the slightest provocation. My father says she'll murder him in his bed one of these days and nobody will blame her for it."

"A pair of our neighbors," Lady Juniper said, "who I will refrain from naming, cannot bear the sight of one another. Everybody dreads their annual dinner invitation as they stare daggers at one another over the dining table. My father tells me that one year they absolutely argued across it about who ordered the fricasseed chicken to be on the menu. Apparently, she did, as she knew he particularly despised it. The whole situation was ghastly."

Constance nodded. She had her own example too—Lady Jane's mother had been duped in some manner and now was forever left behind in the country while her lord caroused across England. That lady was deeply unhappy.

No, she would not give herself to such a fate. Lord Bramley was charming and so very handsome and everything wonderful, but that was only what he seemed. She had no idea what was underneath his charming fa?ade. Other ladies had been tricked and lived to regret it. She would not be.

She must harden herself now to save herself from an awful fate later. And she would do it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Mr. Wilburn waited for Mrs. Belkey to finish setting down the tea things. She bobbed to the six gentlemen seated in their usual circle and departed the apartment.

"We formally commence our weekly meeting of The League," Mr. Harkinson said.

Mr. Wilburn did not know why Mr. Harkinson was always so eager to be the first to start the meeting. It was as if that fellow somehow thought he was the leader of them all. Which was ridiculous. If there were a leader, if there were a gentleman each of them would naturally name as being a head above the rest, then of course it was himself.

"Cum Virtute!" Mr. Browning said, staring reverentially at the plaque above the mantel that said precisely the same.

"Cum Virtute," the others murmured dutifully.

"Mr. Wilburn," Mr. Penny said, helping himself to an almond biscuit, "how do you get on?"

Mr. Wilburn had given a deal of thought to how he might pretty up the facts he knew of at the moment. However, he had sadly come to the conclusion that it was no more practical than putting a bonnet and shawl on a cow and naming it a lady of fine background. Some situations could not be molded and kneaded into something pleasant. Furthermore, he could really use somebody telling him a good idea to go forward with.

"I am afraid, gentlemen, that things are going in the wrong direction. So wrong, in fact, that I feel as if we are careening downhill in an out-of-control carriage and will only come to a stop via horrendous crash at the bottom."

"A crash!" Mr. Rennington cried.

Mr. Wilburn stared at him. Mr. Rennington seemed not to understand that it was a proverbial crash, not an actual crash. The man clutched the sides of his chair as if he were on the verge of broken bones.

"I cannot say I am surprised," Mr. Feldstaffer said grimly.

Mr. Wilburn pressed his lips together, lest he shout: "I am not surprised you are not surprised since you would only be surprised if things were going well!"

Mr. Harkinson, doing his best to act the older statesman though he was no such thing, said, "Perhaps, Mr. Wilburn, you might acquaint us with the facts, as it were."

As it were, indeed.

"Yes, do tell us," Mr. Penny said. "I am certain if we all put our minds to it, we can decide what ought to be done next. We only need to know where we are so we may begin thinking about it."

"That must be true, Mr. Penny," Mr. Browning said. "Can there be another room in London that just now houses six such astute minds ready to be put to the case?"

Mr. Wilburn could not guess if there were, though he did sometimes wonder if Mr. Rennington could be accused of having an astute mind. An astute mind would not very likely be frightened of his own housekeeper.

"Very well, gentlemen," he said, "There are myriad circumstances that have come to my attention, but I am not able to make any sort of sense of them."

"Myriad," Mr. Feldstaffer said, shaking his head as if anything would have been better than myriad.

"Myriad, Mr. Feldstaffer," Mr. Wilburn said. "One, I did plant the idea that Lady Constance may prefer the rich Mr. Ludwig, though I cannot see what effect it's had. Two, a mahogany box and paints was returned to Lord Bramley and I firmly believe the lord had sent it to Lady Constance."

"But perhaps that is good news?" Mr. Penny asked. "Perhaps Lady Constance is a sensible sort of lady and realizes the finances between them make a match impossible?"

"I'd like to think so, but there is more," Mr. Wilburn said. "This cabal of Lady Constance, Lady Juniper, and Miss Semper has got some plan in the works—its name is Operation Trip-Up."

"Trip up?" Mr. Rennington murmured. "Do they know my housekeeper?"

"Why would they ever know your housekeeper, Mr. Rennington?" Mr. Harkinson asked.

"Because how does a mop handle end up being propped across a narrow and dim corridor, I would like to know!" Mr. Rennington said.

The fellow rubbed his knee while he said it, so Mr. Wilburn presumed a tumble had been involved in the discovery of the mop handle.

"Oh I see," Mr. Penny said, "the lady tripped you up."

"The harridan tripped me up," Mr. Harkinson said. "I will not name her a lady under pain of death!"

Mr. Wilburn said, "In any case, we do not know what this plan is that the three ladies have concocted—does it work for us or against us? Is it to trip up Lord Bramley? Is it to trip up the earl, and then Lord Bramley and Lady Constance somehow make off for Gretna Green?"

"Oh dear," Mr. Browning said. "That is quite a lot to consider."

"And there is more," Mr. Wilburn went on doggedly. "Lord Bramley, having been told a large dowry is necessary to the estate, has seen fit to travel to Surrey and make wild plans that would make it not so. He wants to cut down wood and build cottages and no end of other things."

"Gracious," Mr. Penny said. "Was the earl approving of it?"

"The earl was irate about it. They had quite the argument over it when Lord Bramley returned."

"So Lord Bramley believes he can get the estate to do better financially, making a large dowry unnecessary," Mr. Browning said.

"That is indeed much to consider," Mr. Penny said.

"And there is more," Mr. Wilburn said. He ignored Mr. Rennington fanning himself with a napkin and Mr. Feldstaffer looking both saddened and vindicated.

"Unknown to Lord Bramley until the day of his awful return, the earl invited Lady Juniper and her people and Miss Semper and her aunt to dine. Those two young ladies roasted Lord Bramley over the fire with their questions regarding his estate—particularly, what plans he had for it."

"I see," Mr. Penny said. "So you think that perhaps there is some secret understanding between Lady Constance and Lord Bramley. You think perhaps the lady was informed that he went to Surrey to see what could be done on the estate to make a wedding between them practicable."

"Just as I deduced," Mr. Harkinson said, rubbing his chin in some apparent attempt to appear sage.

"Let us put our heads together on these matters," Mr. Browning said. He paused, then said, "Wait. There is not more, is there?"

"Of course there is more," Mr. Feldstaffer said glumly.

"No, there is not more, Mr. Feldstaffer," Mr. Wilburn said. He refrained from shouting: "Sorry you are disappointed to hear it, sir!"

"Perhaps," Mr. Penny said, "this situation is not a matter of Lord Bramley and Lady Constance never marrying, but a case of they should not marry this minute. If it can be delayed until it is seen whether or not Lord Bramley's plans for the estate come to pass…"

"Now that is such a sensible idea that I am surprised they have not thought of it themselves," Mr. Browning said.

"You know how young people are, Mr. Browning," Mr. Harkinson said. "As headstrong as badgers."

"The earl will never agree to the match if he's got his heart set on Lady Juniper or Miss Semper," Mr. Feldstaffer said.

"And that is why I fear a run to Gretna Green," Mr. Wilburn said.

"Might you tell the earl of your fears?" Mr. Rennington asked.

"I certainly might not," Mr. Wilburn said. "Lord Bramley would deny it and I would end sacked for accusing him of it."

"They must have a carriage to take them to Scotland, if they will try it," Mr. Harkinson said. "I imagine it would be the gentleman's responsibility to make those arrangements. What if you had a word with the earl's coachman?"

"Ah yes," Mr. Harkinson said. "Lord Bramley only has his phaeton, and one cannot make such a trip in that vehicle. Not with a lady aboard, not to mention her maid and her cases."

"A quiet word with the coachman," Mr. Penny said. "Yes, and then if Lord Bramley orders the carriage for some early morning, he will have to tell the coachman ahead of time that it is to be a lengthy trip. Else, how could the fellow plan properly?"

"I'd take an ax to one of the wheels and let that be discovered on the day," Mr. Feldstaffer said.

Mr. Wilburn thought that idea rather dramatic. He was also not so certain about speaking to the coachman, who he did not believe liked him very much. Though he did not see what else was to be done.

"And then when you have been alerted by the coachman that a flight is in the works, you could send an anonymous letter to the earl, as if from a stranger," Mr. Browning said. "It could outline what Lord Bramley proposed to do. The earl will put a stop to it."

"We will save Lord Bramley from himself," Mr. Rennington said. "Then, if his plans for the estate do go as well as he hopes, he may be able to convince the earl to sanction the marriage properly by next year."

Mr. Browning nodded gravely. "Running off to Gretna Green is always a bad business," he said. "The Scots should not be allowed to carry on with such shenanigans."

Mr. Wilburn nodded. Really, it was not just the Scots that should not be allowed to carry on with shenanigans. It was a certain young English gentleman too!

He really did not know where these lords and ladies would be without the cool heads of their butlers.