Chapter 5

Amonth ago, Ronin and I, along with Brodie, Holls, and the rest of our class, graduated from high school.

Now I was getting ready for my eighteenth birthday party. Well, two of them. The first, a formal dinner celebration with my family, and the second, a night out with my friends.

I threw on my blazer even though I hated formal wear. But my parents insisted. I wore jeans and a t-shirt underneath. The jacket would get tossed aside as soon as the family stuff was done.

But first, I had news to share.

I had to tell my parents tonight that A) I wasn’t planning on taking a year off to figure out where I wanted to go to college because I was never going, B) I’m heading out with my friends to gig across the country because we wanted to be rockstars, and C) I’m gay.

Truthfully, the first two scared the shit out of me. More than the third. But I was eighteen. That meant I could do whatever the hell I wanted.

They would tell me the rockstar thing was immature and irrational, but I didn’t care. This was what I wanted. Me and the guys had planned and practised. And we were good.

But instead of waiting until I got to the venue for our dinner, I wanted to tell my family now. Otherwise, I’d never be able to eat.

A knock at my bedroom door had me turning around.

“Hurry up, Faisel, we don’t want to keep your grandparents waiting,” my mom yelled out. “We’re already fifteen minutes late.”

I opened the door and she smiled at me. “Finally.”

“Where’s Dad?” I asked.

“He’s waiting in the car.”

Fuck.

“I’m ready.”

I was so not ready. But, like my friends reminded me, it’s now or never. If we wanted to make a real go at becoming professional musicians, we had to do it now.

My mom and I headed to the car, but my brother was absent.

“Rae is already at the restaurant with Hannah,” Mom commented before I could ask.

Of course, my brother was. He was never late like me.

I slid into the backseat and slammed my door.

“I have something to tell you guys,” I started.

Dad shifted into drive and pulled out onto the street. “Can’t it wait until we’re all together?”

“No,” I blurted out. “I need to talk to you and Mom first. This year isn’t going to be a gap year. I’m not going to college. Ever. Me, Ro, Holls, and Brodie are heading out on the road. As a band.”

“Not this rock band nonsense again,” my mother commented.

“It’s not nonsense, it’s what I want to do! It’s all I want to do. And I’m going.”

Dad was silent, glancing at me occasionally in the rearview mirror. I saw the worry in his green eyes. There was disappointment there too.

“I want to be a professional musician,” I insisted. “And we have a great sound. We’re gonna make it.”

“Then apply to music schools. Go to Juilliard,” Mom added.

“No. I hate school and I’m done with it,” I spat out.

My mom looked at my dad and he shook his head.

“You’re eighteen, Faise. We can’t tell you what to do,” Dad replied. “But that doesn’t mean we aren’t worried. Without a college degree?—”

“I’ll be fine. I know what I’m doing. And, one other thing?—”

My mom sighed. “I don’t know if I can take another surprise.”

“I’m gay.”

Dad braked so hard at the stop sign that all three of us pitched forward.

A cold sweat broke out all over my body. This was it. I was sure they were going to kick me out of the car.

Instead, he surprised me and kept on driving.

“Okay,” Dad answered, glancing at my mom.

“Okay?”

“Fozzy,” Mom replied, using my childhood nickname. “We love you no matter what, you know that. But thank you for telling us.”

“You’re not mad?”

“About you being gay? No. Of course not,” Dad responded. “About you not going to college? That’s another thing.”

I sat back, nearly collapsing from the relief I felt.

Then I remembered my grandparents.

“I’ll tell Rae, but not Nana and Dada. Not yet,” I muttered. “Maybe not ever.”

My grandparents’ traditions and beliefs were different to mine. I knew they loved me, but I had no idea how they would take the news of my coming out. I respected them but I had to live my own life.

“That’s your choice.”

We finally arrived at the restaurant, and my brother and his girlfriend greeted us. I was relaxed for a change.

At the end of the meal, I pulled my brother aside and told him my news.

He wasn’t surprised by any of it.

“Always gotta be the quiet rebel,” he teased and gave me a hug. “You’re gonna hit the big time, Faise, I know it. Just keep being you and do what you love. Play your music. Don’t follow anyone else’s path but your own. And be with whoever you want. No matter what, you’ll always be my baby bro.”

I’d never felt closer to Rae than in that moment. Hugging him back, all the stress and worry that had swirled in my mind finally settled. I was nearly in tears, but I managed to keep myself in check.

Once we had birthday cake and coffee, I said my goodbyes to my family and grabbed a rideshare to meet up with the guys.

Brodie’s parents were cool and allowed him to have massive parties at their home. And yeah, there was drinking. Let’s face it, if I was old enough to vote, drive, and enter the military, I was old enough to drink. That was my reasoning.

At least this way, no one was drinking and driving. People crashed at Brodie’s and went home the next day.

When I arrived at his house, the music was already blasting. I threw off my blazer and knocked on the door.

Ronin answered, dressed in his usual black jeans and a ripped t-shirt. He’d hit another growth spurt this year and was now towering over me, nearly six foot three to my five eleven.

The boom of the music was so loud that I felt the ground vibrating under my feet.

“My birthday boo is finally here!!”

My best friend leaned over and hugged me, crushing my ribs. He smelled like beer and spicy body spray. Then he kissed my cheek and kept his arm around my shoulder as he led me into the house.

“You get your birthday gift later, but for now, let’s get you a drink.”

“Beer please, stat.”

Ronin nodded. “I take it you told your parents, and everything went fine.”

“How did you know?”

“Because for the past few months you’ve looked like you were gonna puke. You’re finally smiling.”

He ushered me down the basement steps, hands on my shoulders, as the noise and laughter got louder.

“My parents and brother are fine. With me being queer, that is,” I admitted. “The rockstar idea, not so much. Well, Rae believes in me.”

“You’re eighteen now, you can do whatever the fuck you want.”

I wasn’t religious, but I said Amen to that.

“Where’re the guys?”

We stepped into the basement, which was hazy, filled with smoke from cigarettes and pot.

“Brodie’s over there, sucking face with some guy,” he pointed to the far corner. Sure enough, Brodie was kissing some big-ass dude with tattoos. Then Ronin pointed to the opposite end of the room. “Holloway’s leading a drinking game.”

Of course, he was. People crowded around Holls, chanting “chug, chug, chug,” as he placed the end of the plastic funnel in his mouth and drank.

Ronin and I walked over to the makeshift bar—coolers packed with beer and mixers—and Ronin passed me a can of my favorite IPA. I cracked it open and took a long sip, feeling my remaining tension ease. I downed the rest of the beer in three more gulps, threw the empty can in the nearby bin, and grabbed another one.

Meantime, classmates greeted me and wished me happy birthday. I didn’t court attention, but it was nice. I’d come a long way from the shy boy I once was. Music was the biggest part of that. The more I played with the guys, not just for myself but for an audience, and seeing their positive reaction, the more my confidence grew.

And tonight was another turning point. Finally telling my folks who I was and what I wanted. And I wasn’t backing down. I felt like a fucking adult for the first time in my life.

And speaking of being an adult, one of Brodie’s friends, Jojo, sauntered up to me and gave me a flirty wink. Jojo’s normally blond hair was now bright pink, and he had full lips that were slicked with gloss. “How about a kiss, birthday boy?”

“He needs that, and more,” Ronin quipped and shoved me forward.

My cheeks heated but I wasn’t going to let that stop me.

“How can I say no?” I replied.

Jojo grinned and took my hand and fuck, I was excited already. I’d yet to fool around with any guy. And while I knew that I was attracted to bigger dudes, a horny eighteen-year-old is a horny eighteen-year-old. Jojo was sexy AF in tight jeans and a cropped top. And it was time for me to do more than just fantasize about sex. I wanted to experience it.

Maybe it was the beer or maybe it was finally coming out on my birthday, but something needy inside of me roared to life. As soon as Jojo turned back to me, I pushed him against the nearest wall and kissed him. His lips were soft and eager, his hot tongue delving into my mouth, teasing me so good.

Holy fucking hell, kissing was even more amazing than I imagined. My cock grew so hard, so fast. When Jojo reached down and cupped my dick, I was about ready to come.

“You know what you’re doing,” I blurted out when we finally came up for air.

Jojo smiled wickedly and dropped to his knees.

“Just wait,” he licked his lips. “I think what you really need to celebrate tonight is a birthday blowjob.”

I was too turned on to reply. Or to care that other people were nearby.

When he unzipped my jeans, I leaned back and caught Ronin staring at me.

Why the fuck was that even hotter?

Next thing I knew, my hard cock was in Jojo’s hot, wet mouth, and the only sounds coming out of me were grateful grunts and moans. I gripped his hair, tight, and then wondered if I should. Until Jojo popped off my cock.

“Fuck my face,” he demanded. “I love it.”

I was so ready. It was like a switch inside of me, and when he swallowed my cock again, I did just that, punching my hips forward. His mouth was so much better than my hand.

All the while, people were watching us. Or, as much as they could in a dark basement. And it turned me on more than I’d ever imagined. I came embarrassingly fast, and watched as Jojo swallowed my cum.

Shit, was he okay with that?

“Sorry, I?—”

“You haven’t been with anyone, right?”

I nodded.

“So, there’s nothing to worry about. I wanted to swallow your cum.”

Fuck, just him saying those words to me had my cock jerking again. He tucked me in, zipped me up, and stood up. Then he gave me a kiss on the lips and tasting my cum on him was also hot.

Holy shit. Happy birthday to me…

Another guy came up to Jojo and the two of them headed off to dance. I finally managed to catch my breath and come down from my first-time sex high, heading back to find Ronin in a drinking contest with another student. I grabbed a can of beer and joined them.

A short while later, I looked around for Brodie and Holls.

Brodie pushed away from the guy he was kissing, and when he spotted us, he dropped his hot date and made his way through the crowd. Wearing jeans and nothing else, he strutted towards us, partygoers getting out of his way.

When Brodie drew closer, I realized he had what looked like cling wrap tied around his arm. There was a design on his skin underneath it, a clef surrounded by flames.

“Oh my God! You got tatted!” I blurted out.

“Fucking right I did. And I’m about to get lucky with the artist.”

He pointed over his shoulder. Ah yeah, the guy he’d been kissing. He was hot.

“That’s what I want to do. Tonight!” I exclaimed.

“Get lucky? I thought you already did that with Jojo.” Ronin waggled his eyebrows and slapped my ass.

I elbowed him in response.

“I want to get a tatt. Oh, and some piercings.”

“Your first one is on us. Happy fucking Birthday!” Brodie leaned over and hugged me.

Then someone jumped on my back, and I laughed, startled.

“Happy birthday Fozzy!” Holloway shouted in my ear, his beer breath so strong it was nearly toxic.

“Hey, hands off my boo!” Ronin warned him with a teasing grin and a playful shove.

When Holloway finally eased off me, he messed up my hair and then put his arm around Brodie’s neck.

“Pack your bags, bitches, we head out in two days!” Holloway yelled.

Ronin passed us more beers. “I can’t believe it’s really happening.”

“My parents think I’m crazy.” I shook my head.

“Well, we are Wayward Lane,” Brodie replied with a smirk. “And it’s not crazy. Being a musician is all I’ve ever wanted. You guys are the same. We’re following our gut. That can never steer us wrong.”

Despite his sarcastic mouth, Brodie was right.

I had fears, but deep down, I was doing what felt right. Music was everything to me. To us.

We had drive, talent, and passion. But the reality of making a living off our music was a big unknown. We’d played a few gigs this past month in Providence to good crowds. But being popular in our hometown was one thing. Gigging every week in different cities and trying to get noticed by a record label was another.

Not only that, but all four of us were queer. And we weren’t going to hide.

Would that impact our ability to make it?

“To Faise,” Ronin called out, holding up his can of beer. “My best friend, and the best fucking drummer I’ve ever heard! Happy eighteenth birthday and many more!”

We raised ours in turn and I caught Ronin’s stare. His belief in me had me choked up for the second time tonight. Instead of letting my feelings show, I took a sip of my beer.

When he blew me a playful kiss, I shook my head.

Tonight, we had no worries.

Teenage expectations, though, are a funny thing. Did we have what it takes to make our rock ’n’ roll dream come true?

There was only one way to find out.