Chapter 30

After Faise and I managed to unglue ourselves from each other, we showered, and joined Holls, Brodie, Van, and Jesse at the front of the bus for a late dinner. Faise cooked pasta, extra spicy as requested, and we stuffed our faces until we were too full to move.

Lennie was typing away on his laptop while talking Regan on his phone. There was a palpable tension in the air, but me and the guys tried to ignore it and sat around shooting the shit like we normally did.

I was convinced that Dallas was behind the threat in Nashville. After all, it would be easy for him to make a phone call and fuck everything up for us. If he couldn”t get to Ciara directly, he could get to me. I just hoped that that was the end of it and our Florida concerts would go ahead without question. But it got me thinking more about our security, and stuff that I”d always taken for granted.

Faise was right. We’d received threatening emails before. Homophobic bullshit that was thrown at us as we left a club, or walked down the street, or rants posted on our socials. But no one had ever shut down one of our concerts before. It made me worry. About the safety of my boyfriend, my band brothers, our family, fans, and our security team.

Was the person who’d called in that threat doing it for attention, just to fuck with us, or was there a serious intent behind the message? It made me think about incidents that had happened to other bands over the years. Shootings and assaults in crowded nightclubs and outdoor concerts. We’d heard about those things, but it never happened to us directly.

I nudged Jesse’s shoulder and he turned to me.

“What”s the latest?” I asked. “Please tell me there”s some kind of news about whoever the hell did this to us last night.”

He shook his head. “They’re working on it. So far, we’ve kept the story out of the news. We issued a refund to all the ticketholders yesterday, but we didn’t elaborate on the reason why. We don’t want to incite panic.”

“I can’t believe I’m admitting this,” Faise started. “But for the first time in my career, I’m kinda scared to go on stage. What if this wasn’t a one-off threat?”

“Security has always been tight for your concerts,” Lennie interjected. “And rest assured we”re doing everything we can to keep it that way. The worst only happens when you”re caught off guard. And we”re not in that situation. Everyone is on high alert. Speaking from experience, if someone really wanted to hurt you, they wouldn”t warn you in advance. They’d just do it.”

That made sense.

“Unless it”s someone unhinged like that guy who attacked Holloway two months ago?”

“Stalkers are different. They’re obsessive, which makes them prone to impulse decisions and irrational behavior. I honestly think that whoever called in that threat was just doing it to rattle you. To make you fearful. And it”s working. You just admitted you”re concerned about being on stage. They’re fucking with you.”

“The bad kind,” Holls muttered.

“So, you think we”re safe for our upcoming concerts?” I asked.

“Yes,” Len replied. “That”s my professional opinion. And my personal one, too. Is that a guarantee? No. We always have to err on the side of caution.”

Faise looked at me and I could tell that Lennie’s opinion gave him some measure of relief. Would we still be nervous heading out on stage tomorrow night? Yes. But I was confident that our team would do everything they could to ensure everyone’s safety.

“What about the interviews you have lined up for us, Jesse?” Brodie asked. “What do we say if someone asks why the concert was cancelled?”

“Our public relations line is that one of the band was taken ill and and that was the reason you couldn”t go on. If the press tries to push any further, do not engage. Leave it to me for follow up.”

“What if they suggest that the assault by Dallas is somehow linked to the cancellation?”

“No comment. Not until we know who we’re dealing with.”

“If we ever know,” Brodie added. “Normally I’m not shy with shooting my mouth off, but suddenly, like Faise said, I’m nervous. Which is totally fucked up because I’ve never let anyone do that to me. It’s not in my nature to be cautious or unsure. And we’d never have become this successful if we weren’t fearless. I don’t want this asshole to win.”

“They won’t,” Lennie assured us. “We monitor threats every single day. Most turn out to be nothing. Yes, you should be cautious, but no, you can’t let that stop you from living.”

“Okay, enough heavy shit,” Holloway sighed and pulled out a pack of cards from his pocket. “Let’s play. Loser buys all the drinks after our first show in Tampa.”

“You’re on,” I replied.

We finally started to relax, playing cards, joking around, doing our usual thing.

We arrived in Tampa near midnight. Since neither Faise nor I had slept last night, and a few hours on the bus, we were tired and went back to our bunk.

Unlike some tours where we’d stay at hotels along the way, we were sleeping on the bus for the next few weeks. It wasn’t ideal but at least security knew where we were at all times, and we could leave at a moment’s notice if need be.

The only difference compared to when we used to travel was that Faise and I were now sharing a bunk. We still hadn”t talked about what would happen when we got back home, but given that Faise was already living with me, I assumed the next step would be for him to sell his house and move in permanently. That idea was the only thing keeping me from ruminating about the cancelled show.

We did several interviews that morning, and then got dressed and headed over to the venue for soundcheck. Despite Lennie’s reassuring words, every errant noise made us jump. We were all on edge. Who wouldn”t be?

Once I had my bass guitar in my hand, my nerves began to quiet. Strumming out a few random chords, I warmed my fingers up and let the music distract me. Everything else was the same, but I noticed that Ace, our sound engineer, and Tommy, one of our road crew, were quiet too. Brodie was resting his voice as usual. Faise sat behind his kit, his knee jumping up and down.

“Nine Gone Wrong?” I asked, looking around at my bandmates.

And my boyfriend.

We started the song, and I got lost in the rhythm, tapping out the tune with my left foot and then turning around to face Faise. Watching him get in the zone turned me on. And when he caught my stare and smiled back, all the hair on my body stood on end. It was hot as fuck in the venue, but I had chills and goosebumps all over.

How long had he been looking at me like that and how had I missed it? Or had I seen it and been afraid to face what it meant?

Whatever the answer, I couldn’t look away anymore.

I continued to strum the riff and walked over to Holls. We played off each other, and I spun around again and watched Brodie do the same on his guitar.

By the time we reached the end of the song, I was ready to play all night. The energy that pulsed between us was an awesome thing. The way it always was when the four of us got on stage and let loose. Music had always been my escape. It made me forget about the fights between my parents, it made me forget that we were so poor sometimes we barely had anything to eat. And it gave me hope, a dream, and as it turned out, a better life for myself and for my family. It fed something inside of me, as vital as any bit of food or water I’d needed to survive. It was difficult to explain, but if you asked any other musician, they would tell you the same thing.

Whether you were playing to a crowd of 1 or 100,000, performing made you feel alive. It really was as simple as that.

I didn’t take for granted that I got to do this every day, playing music with my friends, but especially with Faise. It was like one of those concerts that you just never wanted to end. One that you remembered for the rest of your life. I wasn”t foolish enough to think that it would always be this way, but I sure as hell was going to enjoy living in the now.

We finished up the song with Holloway’s heavy riff and our crew clapped loudly.

“Shit, that’s good,” Faise called out. “We needed that.”

“Fucking right we did.” Holls nodded and passed his guitar to Tommy. I slid mine off and did the same.

Soundcheck was done and now it was time for us to get ready for the VIPs. We had a group at every show, usually sponsors and people in the biz. Personally, I preferred the meet and greet with the fans after the concert, but kissing corporate ass was part of the job.

First, we had to change and get our hair done.

Payton, our stylist, was already waiting in the dressing room, chatting with Lennie. Or rather, Payton was flirting, and Lennie looked like he wasn’t sure quite how to handle the attention. And the last thing we needed right now was a flustered bodyguard.

“Payton, stop toying with Lennie and pay attention to me,” I teased.

“No way, honey,” Payton shook his head, his blond curls bouncing. “I could never steal you from Faise. I’m not that kind of man.”

“Thank you,” Faise muttered and then gave me the stink eye.

What? He knew I was only joking. Right? I would never.

I sat down on one of the chairs and Faise took the seat next to me. He slid his arm around the back of my chair, the gesture proprietary as hell. When I looked at his eyes, the fire in them sparked a deep arousal in my balls. Oh, I was in trouble. I leaned over and kissed his temple, then placed my hand on his neck, staring right back at him.

“Jesus, is it hot in here or is it me?” Payton asked.

“It’s Florida, of course it’s hot,” Lennie added.

Payton’s chuckle broke me out of my trance.

“I didn’t mean quite so literally, darling.” I turned to find Payton patting Lennie’s arm. “You’re too cute for words.”

Lennie’s face turned bright red as he stepped back, knocking over Payton’s hairdryer and several bottles of styling products from the table.

“Shit!”

“It’s all right,” Payton reassured him. “I’ve got it.”

Lennie shook his head and bent down to pick the items up off the floor.

“Let me, it’s my fault. Sorry about that,” Lennie muttered.

The bodyguard placed the bottles back on the table, then nodded to the door. “Anyways. Yeah. I just…um…I’m gonna just wait at the door. I mean, outside the door. In the hallway.”

Payton’s eyes latched on to Lennie’s ass as he strode past us. Lennie quickly shut the door behind him, and Payton let out a sigh and fanned his face.

“God, that man is so damn gorgeous. Too bad my flirting has gone nowhere.”

“I think he likes you,” I offered. “Never seen him so nervous before.”

“Really?”

“Are you kidding?” Faise added. “Lennie’s always unflappable. Except with you.”

“Do you know if he’s dating anyone?” Payton asked.

Faisel shook his head. “No idea. He keeps his private life very private. Never heard him talk about dating or even hooking up with anyone.”

“Hmm, a man who doesn’t kiss and tell. Interesting,” Payton mused with a glint in his eye. Then he smiled at us. “And how are you boys doing tonight?”

I let out a filthy grin that required no explanation.