Chapter 18
The rest of that night was a blur. I didn’t remember walking upstairs, I didn’t remember anything. Just the sound of Ronin walking beside me and the heavy fall of our footsteps.
And it wasn’t light streaming through the windows that woke me up the next day.
It was Ronin’s body heat. And the ache in my jaw.
Usually I was the little spoon, but with his stitches, it was my turn to hold him. My face was smashed against his bare back, and my cock was taking way too much interest in our early morning cuddle. His breathing was soft and even, and with my arm wrapped around his waist, I didn’t want to be anywhere else.
Of course, my mind started on that dangerous path again, imagining myself waking up next to him like this every day. Being his lover, his partner, living together.
Fuck.
“Morning,” he muttered.
He pulled away from me at first and rolled over, until we were eye to eye.
Ronin smiled, leaned over, and kissed me.
On the mouth.
What the everloving fuck? Was I still dreaming?
Then he winked at me, a wicked grin on his face.
“What’s up?” he asked, as if nothing had happened.
I couldn’t move. Ronin had kissed me. On the lips. Like we did this every day.
“Fuck, these stitches are itchy,” he grumbled as he slid to his back. He turned his head and gave me a slow perusal. “How’s your face feeling? Did you sleep?”
I opened my mouth, but the words were stuck in my head.
“Faise, you okay?”
No, no I was not fucking okay.
“Uh, yeah. I mean, sure. My jaw aches a bit but I passed out right away. You?”
“Same. All the stress from last night. Holy shit, I can’t believe we were attacked like that. It doesn’t seem real.”
Ronin stretched and sat up, the sheet falling down around his waist. Then he chucked the sheet aside, and stood up, his naked ass right there in front of me. When he turned around, I was greeted by his morning wood.
My own hardened in response. Hell, just that one single touch of our lips meeting had my body lighting up like most incredible fireworks. I glanced up at him, confused, shocked, and fucking horny. Until I zeroed in on the bandage on his chest.
“Last night,” I croaked, a sudden lump in my throat making it difficult to speak. “If it had been worse. If anything had happened to you, I don’t… I don’t think I can?—”
I held my face in my hands, too choked up to breathe, everything hitting me all at once.
The bed depressed but I didn’t look up. My eyes were a blurry mess, the tears coming out of nowhere, sliding down my face. Ronin gently took my hands and placed them over his pecs. I reached higher, my fingers clutching his shoulders, so solid, warm, and real.
He was right here with me. I couldn’t ever lose him.
“I’m okay,” he reassured me. “You can see I’m fine. It’s over.”
He pulled me into his arms and wrapped me up tight.
“But your wound, doesn’t it hurt?” I protested and made to move away, but Ronin wouldn’t let go.
“It’s fine. I’ve got my medicine right here,” he replied as he squeezed me tighter.
I snorted at his corny joke.
Like always, I notched my face under his bearded chin and breathed him in. Neither of us had showered last night, so we smelled like stale sweat and booze. But it didn’t matter. He clutched me so tightly I couldn’t take in air. Didn’t need to. If I didn’t have him, I’d have no reason for oxygen.
“Ro,” I whispered against the heated skin of his neck. “I’ve got to tell you?—”
The knock on his bedroom door had us jolting. He slowly pulled away from me and I shivered at the loss.
“Don’t move,” he demanded and reached for his jeans.
He slipped them on and padded over to the door while I lay back down, dizzy, my heart pounding hard, my vision spinning.
My lips tingled, and I rang my fingertips over them, still in awe. Had that really happened? Had Ronin kissed me? Was it just him being more affectionate than usual or…
“Faise?”
I didn’t even hear Ronin’s return to bed.
“Yeah?”
“The police are back. They got Ciara’s stuff from the hotel, but they still have questions for her.”
“Of course. I’ll get dressed and out of your way.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” He shook his head, the dark waves of his hair falling around his face. “Please stay. She needs you. I need you.”
I nodded, pulling the sheet around me. “I’ll just take a quick shower and meet you downstairs.”
Ronin smiled and headed for the bathroom. Maybe he wanted to use it first? There were plenty of bathrooms in the house, I could just use another.
I slid out of bed, my head still reeling, and dropped the sheet.
Then I heard the shower running. Instead of waiting for my turn, I reached for my pants.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Ronin asked me.
I turned to find him still in his jeans.
“I’m gonna go wash up downstairs.”
Ronin shook his head and offered his hand. I was so fucking confused.
“You want me to go first?”
He chuckled and bit his lower lip. “No, boo.”
“Then I don’t understand.”
“Do you trust me?”
I stared at him like I’d never seen him before. “What kind of a question is that? Of course, I trust you!”
“Then take my hand.”
I watched the expression in his eyes change from amused to smoldering hot and I swallowed hard. There was no way for me to mistake that look. I’d seen him give it to plenty of men over the years.
But now? Aimed at me? Fucking hell, those molten blues had me unable to move an inch. I didn’t know whether to move towards him or run away.
I worried for a second that I might be hallucinating. Until Ronin stepped towards me and took my hand. Mine was shaking, and so was his. This was no high. It was the most real thing I’d ever felt in my life, and it was fucking amazing.
He said nothing, tugging me forward. I let my pants fall to the floor and followed my best friend into the bathroom. He opened the shower door and ushered me inside, the hot water sluicing over my skin. I watched from the other side of the glass as Ronin slowly peeled off his jeans. It was my own private strip show from my favorite dancer. He looked up and gave me a wicked grin as he kicked the jeans aside and reached for the door.
Suddenly, reality intruded my sexy thoughts.
“Your bandage! Don’t get it wet.”
“It’s waterproof,” he assured me as he stepped up close.
I looked up at him, unsure of what else to say.
Ronin cupped my face in his massive palms, rubbing his callused thumbs over my lips. I couldn’t help the needy moan that erupted from my throat. My cock jerked hard against my stomach, my balls aching and full. He pulled me in closer, our wet skin making contact head to toe, his hard dick sliding against mine.
It almost distracted me from the fact that my best friend was looking at me the way I’d been longing for.
So long. Years.
The trembling started again, my arms and legs shaking like I was just finishing up a show.
“Why are you suddenly looking at me like this?” I asked him. There was no more time to be evasive. “Why now? Is it just a reaction to what happened last night?”
Ronin leaned his forehead against mine, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He blinked and opened his eyes again. There was no denying the truth in those bottomless blues.
“I’ve been looking at you like this for a while. I was just too scared to show you. To accept what it meant. First Dean, and then yesterday with Averell, it just pushed me over the edge. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want you to be with them,” Ronin growled, the possessive sound making goosebumps pop out all over my skin. “You belong with me.”
“You’re jealous?”
“Fuck, yes,” he bit out.
“You’re not the only one,” I whispered my confession. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting you. And wanting to tell you. Why do you think I was dating Dean in the first place? I was trying to stop thinking about you.”
“Don’t mention his name ever again,” Ronin hissed, and I smiled at his reaction.
“Done.”
Then he leaned down and we shared one breath, our lips barely brushing. I wanted his kiss more than anything, but I was scared as hell about how he would react afterwards. If Ronin walked away from me… I didn’t want to think about it.
“But you have to be sure, Ro. This isn’t something we can take back,” I admitted, reaching up and grabbing hold of his forearms. His pulse beat steady and strong under my fingertips.
“I am,” he nodded, his eyes darkening. “Are you?”
The fear lingered but I shoved it aside.
I finally had the courage to speak the words that echoed in my heart for years.
“You don’t need to ask. There’s only ever been you.”
Ronin reached down and I reached up, and twenty years of our life together flashed before my eyes like a movie reel. The highs, the lows, and every damn moment in between. No matter what, it all led back to him.
But everything I’d imagined about kissing my best friend was blown to pieces when it finally happened. I slid my tongue between his lips, tasting him for the first time. It was heady, decadent, and I needed more. Just like our music, the kiss was passionate, explosive—a collision of sound, taste, and touch that could only be experienced, not explained.
He groaned, and I followed, nipping his lips, licking to soothe the sting, then sucking on his tongue. Fuck, I was starved for him.
Ronin pushed me up against the shower wall, and I pushed back, my lips as aggressive as his. Pulling on my hair, he angled my head and I kissed him deeply, fucking his mouth the way I wanted to fuck him. I clawed at his shoulders, then up higher, gripping his neck, holding on tight.
“What the fuck?” Ronin moaned against my mouth. “Jesus, boo, your lips are dangerous.”
“Just wait until I wrap them around your cock.”
He grunted and kissed me again, and I reached for his dick, feeling the slick, heavy weight of it in my hand, tugging fast and hard. Then I took both our cocks in hand, jerking frantically, too overwhelmed and excited to slow down and make it last. Every touch was more desperate than the last.
“Don’t have time,” I panted as my hand worked frantically, my blood racing hotter, faster. “You… Ro… fuck.”
I was so far gone, I wasn’t making sense. My brain was shutting down as pleasure took over.
“Make me come,” Ronin whimpered. “Yes. Just like that.”
I stroked harder and faster as Ronin’s body tensed. He was so fucking gorgeous like this. With me.
“Next time, I’m gonna suck this monster dick down my throat until you scream my name.”
“Faise, oh God,” Ronin moaned and punched his hips forward, fucking my fist.
“That’s it, baby, let go. Come all over me. Cover me in your cum.”
“Fuck!” Ronin roared as his body jerked hard, hot cum lashing my hand.
I followed, coming all over him in a hot rush, so fast, so hard, I couldn’t breathe. I was lightheaded, dizzy with desire.
“Goddamn it,” I panted. “I haven’t come that fast since I was eighteen.”
“You and me both.”
Ronin turned me away from the water, placed his hand over mine, rubbing our combined cum on my skin, over my abs and up my chest. Then he held his fingers up to my mouth and I slid my tongue around them, sucking on them, letting out a filthy groan as I tasted the two of us. Together.
I licked his fingers languidly, and he stared at me so intently that the trembling in my body continued.
As the water in the shower cooled, and our bodies along with it, the adrenaline rush of our first mutual orgasm gave way to a startling new reality.
One that I could never, ever walk back from.