Epilogue

Epilogue

The Big Day

Skye

Nine months later

“You look amazing, mom.” Violet pulls a tissue from between her boobs and dabs under her eyes, then tucks it back in her bra.

I take her hands in mine and squeeze. “So do you. God, I’m nervous. I feel like this dress is a little on the flashy side.” Because it’s my first time down the aisle, Sidney wanted our special day to be a lavish affair. Even my dressing room is like something straight out of a fairytale. Except for my dress. It’s probably more appropriate for Vegas, but it’s too late to turn back now.

“It’s perfect. Your boobs look great, and Sidney’s going to lose his mind when he sees you. What do you need? How can I help?”

“Just a hug would be great right about now. You look stunning. All grown up.” I pull her in for a boob smashing hug then step back. “Are you wearing heels?”

“Yeah. But I have flip-flops for the reception. I practiced walking in the hallway, so I’m reasonably confident that I’ll make it down the aisle without falling flat on my face.” She holds up her crossed fingers. Her clutch dangles from her wrist. “Oh! I have something for you. It’s your something new. It’s kind of inappropriate and also kind of hilarious. I’ll completely understand if you don’t want to wear it, or if you want to keep it as memento or never to show it to anyone else. Totally up to you.” She pulls a small velvet drawstring bag out of her purse and thrusts it at me.

I open the delicate bag and fish out the item. It’s a garter. But it’s not the usual lace and satin business. It’s definitely a Violet design. My daughter might be a math nerd, but she’s a wizard with a sewing machine. “Oh my God, where did you find penis fabric?”

“At the fabric store. Surprisingly, it was on clearance. Like I said, you don’t have to wear it. Maybe Sid will want to hang it from his rearview mirror. Or not.”

“You’re my favorite person in the entire world. I’m not tossing this during the reception. I’m keeping it forever.” I hug it to my chest.

My mother knocks on the door and pokes her head inside. “Oh sweetheart, you look so beautiful. You too, Vi. Everyone ready? It’s almost showtime!” She claps. “Is it okay if your dad comes in?”

“Absolutely.”

“Herman, you’re allowed in.” Mom tosses over her shoulder.

My dad joins us in the bridal room and gets all misty eyed, which makes me misty eyed and there’s a lot of tipping our chins to the ceiling so we don’t mess up our expensive makeup or end up with red eyes before I even walk down the aisle and drink too much champagne at the reception.

The wedding planner pops her head in and tells us it’s go time. Violet and my mom give me hugs and leave the bridal suite ahead of us. I didn’t want a hoard of bridesmaids to manage, so it’s just my mom and Violet walking down the aisle before me.

“You ready, honey?” My dad links arms with me.

“More ready than I ever thought I’d be.” My legs are a little wobbly as we follow mom and Violet out of the suite.

I’m hidden from view as I watch my mom walk down the aisle, followed by Violet. She only sort of stutter steps and lists to the right once. Miller, who is already standing at the front takes a hesitant step forward, as if he’s going to meet her halfway, but she holds up a hand, squares her shoulders, grabs the hem of dress and hoists it up a few inches while muttering, “Freaking heels are a death trap.”

A quiet chuckle moves through the attendees and my great Aunt Brenda says loud enough so that everyone can hear, “Men designed them!”

When Violet reaches the front of the church, everyone bursts into applause. Her face turns red.

I turn to my wedding planner. “Can you do me a solid and get Violet an antihistamine so she doesn’t end up with a full-blown case of hives after this, please?”

“Already taken care of, she took one half an hour ago.”

“Thank God.” The wedding march cues up.

Dad pats my arm. “All right sweetheart, let’s get you hitched.”

“Let’s do this.” I take a deep breath and we round the corner, bringing Sidney and all our friends and family into view.

Everyone stands, but my eyes stay locked on the hot as hell man waiting for me at the end of the aisle. “Oh wow,” I mutter. “He cleans up nice.”

Dad squeezes my arm. “Inside voice, Skye. Everyone can hear you.”

I shrug. “Looking good, babe!” I call down the aisle.

Sidney’s grin widens as his eyes move over me in a not so PG-13 sweep. Tonight, we’re definitely going to swing from the rafters.

My dad has to slow me down because I try to speed walk down the aisle to Sidney, but eventually, after what feels like a million years, my dad kisses my cheek and passes me off to my husband to be.

“You look darn well edible,” I whisper as Sidney takes my hands.

“So do you.”

“I can’t wait to get you o—”

Sidney stops me with a brief, chaste kiss. “Audience, babe.”

“Right. Save it for later.” I back off and wave to our friends and family. “Hi, sorry about that. He looks good, though, right?”

“I wouldn’t kick him out of bed,” Aunt Brenda shouts.

Sidney looks like he’s trying not to laugh.

Our officiant looks like she expected exactly this, which makes sense since Aunt Brenda came to the run-through two days ago and ad-libbed the entire time.

The ceremony begins with the usual stuff, the officiant talking about joining lives and all that jazz and then it’s time for Sid and me to say our vows. Which we wrote ourselves.

“Skye, I’ve waited a long time to find someone who balances me out. You’re everything I need in a partner and more. You’re so full of life, you keep me on my toes, and you make me smile every day. I love everything about you, from your unfiltered thoughts, to the way you champion Violet and the way you’ve stepped in and become the mom Miller needs. I promise to stand by your side through the good times and especially the bad, to be your partner and your rock when you need me the most. You’re my best friend, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life loving you.”

I pull a tissue from between my boobs and dab my eyes. “That’s going to be a tough one to follow.”

He squeezes my hands. “You got this.”

Violet moves forward and hands me my cue card, and nearly trips over the back of her dress when she steps back. We both blow out a relieved breath when she finds her balance.

I turn back to Sidney and hold up the card. “Made a few notes in case my mind goes blank and I forget all the awesome things I wrote about you.”

He smiles and squeezes my hand. I glance at the cue card, skim the first few points and then refocus on him. “When you chased after me and stopped me from drinking your latte, I already knew you were one of the good ones. Although, you didn’t learn until later just how thoroughly you’d saved my a—butt that day. What I didn’t realize was that you were exactly what I needed in my life and you came into it at exactly the right time. You are an incredible father, an amazing scout and coach, an unparalleled friend, and the only time I’ll kick you out of bed is if you’re snoring like a freight train lives inside your nasal passage. I promise to stand beside you through all the fun stuff, and hold your hand through the hard times. I love everything about who you are on the inside and the outside. Your hair is particularly fantastic and I can’t wait to run my fingers through it later. After the reception.”

“Mom, stay on track,” Violet whispers.

“Right. Sorry.” I squeeze Sid’s hand. “I love you. You’re the best thing to happen to me since Violet came into my life and I can’t wait to spend the rest of it with you.”

I blow out a breath, thankful I didn’t say anything too awkward and then we’re exchanging rings and saying “I do”.

“You may kiss the bride!” our officiant announces.

Sidney lays one on me.

“Save it for the honeymoon!” Aunt Brenda shouts.

We walk down the aisle, waving at our friends as they clap and holler.

The next few hours are a blur of photos, champagne, congratulations and one kid throwing up because he ate too many cookies.

Dinner is amazing, the wine is flowing, everyone is half-sauced, and it’s time for the speeches. Miller gets up, adjusts his tie and pulls Violet’s chair out.

I put my hand on Sidney’s knee under the table. “I didn’t know Violet was giving a speech.”

“I think Miller is mostly talking,” he assures me.

Violet switched from heels to flip-flops when we arrived at the hall for the reception. She focuses on her feet as she walks the twenty feet across the raised platform. I glance at her empty spot and notice there’s a mostly empty glass of wine beside her plate.

Miller keeps one hand poised behind her as if he’s ready to catch her should she stumble. A little kid screams about ice cream from the guest tables. Miller glances toward the audience as Violet takes the first step down, and then everything goes terribly sideways.

And it’s all being broadcast on the big screen on the other side of the hall. Violet’s dress gets caught between her flip flop and her heel and the whole bodice slides down. Miller gazelle-leaps off the stage while simultaneously shrugging out of his suit jacket. He quickly drapes it over Violet, but it’s too late, everyone has already seen her tatas.

The entire room goes pin-drop silent.

I push my chair back and hop to my feet. Sidney moves to stand, but I put a hand on his shoulder. “I got this.” I quickly strut across the raised platform, pausing at Violet’s spot to grab her clutch and rush to help.

I make eye contact with Aunt Brenda and she gives me a curt nod, and then opens her duffle bag sized purse and starts handing out a round of Jell-O shooters. If ever there was a time to get our guests as sauced as possible, it’s now.

Miller’s eyes are as wide as saucers and Violet is the color of a ripe tomato. He’s holding his suit jacket up like a shield. Violet’s back is facing the guests and thankfully the videographer has shifted his focus. Unfortunately, he’s panning across the stricken faces of the guests. Everyone has seen my daughter’s boobs. This one is going to be hard to live down.

Violet looks like she’s about to burst into tears. “Cover us so I can get her to the bathroom,” I tell Miller.

He nods, eyes still wide, and not blinking. He follows us to the door and I wrap a protective arm around Violet, ushering her into the bridal suite and locking the door behind us.

“Oh my God.” She blinks at me. “Everyone saw my boobs. The flip-flops were supposed to prevent a wardrobe malfunction, not cause one!” She flails her arms around like the inflatable balloon guy on a particularly windy day.

“Everyone is drunk on wine and the vodka Jell-O shooters Aunt Brenda brought along in her picnic basket.” She was handing them out just before the reception.

“Is that why they burned going down? I think she was giving them to the little kids, too.” Violet blows out a breath. “Remind me to never wear a strapless dress ever again. I thought the double-sided tape was going to be enough to keep it in place, but obviously I was wrong. Buck saw my boobs. Up close and personal. It’s going to be awkward now forever.”

“It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.”

Violet gives me a pinched, disbelieving look.

“Okay. It’ll be a little awkward, but let’s look on the bright side of things. You have a great rack. Your boobs still hold themselves up, if ever there was a time to have a wardrobe malfunction, it’s now, when they’re perky and gravity hasn’t dragged the bitches down to your knees and you don’t need enough under-wire to build an entire birdcage with.” I motion to my own girls, strapped into an under-wire prison so they sit high and mighty on my chest.

“I’m never getting married. I should have let Buck go up on his own, but I wanted to be moral support in case his cue cards gave him a hard time and now my boobs have been seen by like a thousand people.”

“There are only seventy guests, Violet.”

“I’m being extra because I flashed everyone! If I get married one day, I’m eloping. Maybe to an island, or maybe not because I feel like I’d get sand in my underwear and it would suck, or I’d fall into the ocean. Maybe Vegas would be better.”

I grab my daughter by the shoulders. “You can get married wherever you want. Everyone is drunk, honey. Speeches are boring and no one pays attention to them, anyway. Aunt Brenda is handing out more shooters, and she probably used her own moonshine in them, so they’re super potent. No one will remember this even happened. And Miller was quick to cover you up.”

She bites her lips together and sighs. “He’s an annoyingly good stepbrother.”

“He’s doing a solid job so far.” I rub her shoulders. “Want to chug a glass of champagne before we go back out there?”

“Seems like a good idea, but maybe before you do that, we can put on these invisible bra straps so I don’t have another accident. She digs them out of the pocket in her dress.

“Good plan.”

We strap her boobs in and then each down a glass of champagne.

“Ready to go back out there? Speeches should almost be over.”

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

I take her back out to the reception. Miller has already finished his speech. He hops up and meets us, taking Vi’s hand as she carefully climbs the stairs, and Sidney and I take our place behind the podium. I drag his mouth down to mine and make a spectacle while Miller walks Violet back to her seat to keep the attention off her and it works.

I let Sidney take the reins on our speech, mostly because that champagne has gone right to my head and then the DJ cues the first dance.

“Is Violet okay?” Sidney asks as we move around the dance floor.

“She’ll be fine. Eventually. When the embarrassment wears off.” I glance over to find Miller with his arms crossed, glaring at the male server who has suddenly taken an interest in my daughter. “Awww, look, he’s being her bodyguard. They’re just like real siblings.”

“He’s really settling into the big brother role,” Sidney agrees.

I smile up at him and he dips down to kiss me.

Everything feels like it’s clicking into place. I have a fabulous daughter, a stepson who has her back, and now a husband who’s my best friend and a total freak in the sheets.

Life is perfect, and it’s just the beginning.