Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

It Was a Good Idea at the Time

Skye

“Oh my God, I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck,” I groan as I flop onto my back.

Sidney rolls to his side, a frown furrowing his sexy brow. His hair is a rumpled mess, he has sleep lines across his cheek and he looks damn well amazing. “Are you having a lactose reaction? I thought dinner was non-dairy.”

“I’m not having a reaction to dairy. I’m having a reaction to all that physical exertion yesterday. Muscles I didn’t even know existed hurt.” Even adjusting my pillow hurts. “I don’t know that I should attempt three-hour marathon sex at my age.”

Sidney snorts. “You’re not even forty, Skye. You’re basically riding the tail end of your sexual peak, and you weren’t complaining about the marathon sex last night.”

“It seemed like a good idea,” I mutter. “I need a Tylenol, or three. And maybe some electrolytes. And I highly recommend that you don’t take another blue pill today unless you’re down with voyeurism. Why do my forearms hurt this much? Even my eyebrows are sore.”

Last night after dinner, which ended with me as dessert on the dining room table, I suggested Sidney take a little blue pill so we could keep the party going. I blame the orgasm brain and the entire bottle of prosecco I consumed for that ridiculous idea. Sidney performed just fine without the blue pill. Sidney on the blue pill was a three-hour joystick ride that was a lot of fun in the moment, but the aftermath is something else.

I probably need to do yoga more than once a month.

Sidney rolls off the bed and hops to his feet. He’s gloriously naked. And hard. Which seems like it should be impossible considering the excessive amount of boning we did last night.

I throw an arm over my face. The movement makes me groan in pain. “Stop taunting me with your rippling abs and your boyfriend dick!”

“I’ll be right back with painkillers and water.” He saunters out of the bedroom, bare ass jiggling.

“I love you and your butt,” I call after his retreating form.

“Same!” he calls back.

A minute later he returns with a glass of water, a Gatorade, and two extra-strength painkillers. “Why don’t I put on a pot of coffee and we can start our morning with a soak in the hot tub? That might help ease some of the aches?”

“That sounds like a great idea.”

“Good. But before I do that, I have one other suggestion.”

“Okay, shoot.” I down the painkillers and drain the water.

“Orgasms have analgesic properties.”

“I’d need to be hella drunk to entertain anal.”

Sidney laughs. “I’m not suggesting anal, baby. I’m suggesting I give you an orgasm. If nothing else, it’ll take your mind off the aches for a few minutes.” He arches a sexy brow.

“I’d be willing to test the effectiveness of that theory.”

Twenty minutes and two oral orgasms later, Sidney and I are relaxing in the hot tub with travel mugs full of coffee spiked with Bailey’s. I also have my Gatorade. The hot tub boasts an incredible view of the lake, and there’s a lattice privacy barrier covered in blooming flowers, so we’re hidden from the neighbors' view. I have a feeling, based on our introduction yesterday, that this is highly intentional.

“Looks like last night went smoothly for the kids,” I say as I check my most recent message from Violet. She’s already at tutoring and Miller is at hockey practice.

“I’m so glad they’re getting along,” Sidney replies.

“Me too. It just makes this so much easier, doesn’t it?” I motion between us.

He smiles and stretches his arm across the back of the hot tub, fingers caressing my shoulder. “It definitely does. Miller will probably be out of the house this time next year, but it’s good to know he and Violet can co-exist in the same space peacefully. You know, for future weekend getaways.”

I grin. “Sounds like you’re already planning more of these.”

“Absolutely.”

* * * *

We spent most of the day down at the dock, basking in the sun and taking dips in the lake. It’s a beautiful, relaxing day, and it’s amazing to have alone time with Sidney.

In the evening we make dinner together—I manage the parts that don’t require careful monitoring—and we sit outside under the covered gazebo. It’s incredibly romantic with the string lights lining the roof, the small lanterns flickering their fake flames, and the sun setting on the lake.

“This weekend has been absolutely perfect.” I rest my cheek on his biceps.

Sidney kisses the top of my head. “I can think of one thing that would make it better.”

“Oh? What’s that? And don’t say anal.”

He chuckles. “I swear I just slipped that one time. I wasn’t actually trying to get into door two.”

“Uh huh.”

He kisses me chastely and stands. “I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

“What about that thing that would make this weekend more than perfect?” I call as he disappears inside.

“I’m getting it. I’ll be right back.”

He passes through the kitchen and heads down the hall.

I check my phone for new messages from Violet while I wait for Sidney. She’s at Toby’s for an impromptu Mathlete’s meeting because Toby and Michael are having a freak out about their upcoming competition, but otherwise everything is fine. I’m just so grateful she’s such a responsible young woman.

Sidney reappears a few minutes later with a silver bucket and a bottle of what looks like champagne and two fluted glasses.

“Champagne? You sure you’re not angling for butt stuff tonight?”

“For someone who says she’s so against it, you sure bring it up an awful lot, babe.”

“I do, don’t I?”

“Mm. We can come back to that. Later. After you’ve had a couple glasses of champagne.” He winks and sets the ice bucket on the table, then rounds it so he’s standing in the sunset's halo.

He adjusts my chair and then drops to one knee in front of me.

“I don’t know if outdoor sexy times is a good idea. I’m not particularly quiet and I worry that my screaming might scare people into believing there are wolves lurking close by.”

He grins. “Head out of the gutter for a minute, babe.”

He pulls a small velvet box from his pocket.

“Oh!” I slap a hand over my mouth. “Oh my God. Is that what I think it is?”

“It’s not a cock ring.”

I slap his chest. “And you’re on me about getting my head out of the gutter!”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Sid, so much. I can’t believe this is happening. I mean, it’s the perfect setting, but I really didn’t expect this. Okay. I’m shutting up because I’m ruining this.” I bite my lips together.

“I know we haven’t been together all that long, but I can’t imagine my life without you, Skye. I’ve been looking for you for a long time, and now that I have you, I want to spend the rest of our lives falling in love over and over again. I want to fall asleep beside you and wake up next to you. I want lazy Sundays where I watch hockey and you try to distract me by wearing low cut tops. I want to remind you to take lactose pills when we go out for dinner, so you don’t have to deal with gastro demons. I want the ups and down and everything in between. I just want you, Skye, and everything that comes with you. I want you to be my wife, but more than that, I want us to be a family. Will you marry me?”

“Oh my God, yes, Sid. Yes, I’ll marry you. I’m a terrible cook, but I give great blow jobs, so I hope that balances things out.”

We both laugh and I choke back a sob as he flips the lid open. Nestled in the velvet is a gorgeous ring with a huge rock of a diamond. It twinkles magnificently in the waning sun.

“Wow. This is just. Wow! It’s gorgeous, Sidney. Just stunning.” I hold out a trembling hand.

“I hope it’s not too much.” He lifts it from the cushion, his own hands shaking as he takes mine.

“It’s ridiculous and perfect.”

He slides the ring on my finger when a spider the size of a freaking softball descends from the roof above, heading straight for our outstretched hands.

“Oh my God! Holy shit!”

“Oh fuck, that thing is huge!” Sidney shouts when it reaches eye level.

I don’t think about what I’m doing. I instinctively react, yanking my hand free of his. My chair topples over and I do a very uncoordinated backwards somersault while screaming my damn head off. I hop to my feet and almost roll my ankle while I continue to shriek like a banshee.

Sidney, being the much more reasonable of the two of us, yanks off his flip-flop and slams it on the table repeatedly until the giant spider is nothing but an obscenely large splatter mark.

“Is it dead?” I peer at the green and black smear on the brown tile and glance up. “Are there more?” I succumb to a whole-body shudder and hop back again.

“It’s very dead and I don’t think there are more.” Sidney glances up and does the same shuddery thing. “At least I hope not. Way to fuck up my proposal, asshole,” he mutters at the smear.

He pats his pockets and then looks at me expectantly. “Do you have the ring? Can we try that again? But maybe inside this time?”

I look down at my naked hand and back up at him. “Um.” I glance around the deck. The sun is heading for the horizon in a hurry. We only have a handful of minutes of daylight left. I hold up my ringless finger. “I don’t have it.”

“Fuck.” He runs his hand through his luxurious hair.

We scour the deck, but the spaces between the boards are the perfect width for a ring to fit through.

“Please tell me it didn’t fall through one of those cracks.”

“I’ll go down and check.” Sidney puts his flip-flop back on.

“I’ll grab flashlights.” I rush inside and search the cottage for flashlights. I find two, but they die two seconds after I turn them on, so I have to search for batteries. Five minutes later, I join Sidney under the deck. It’s not tall enough for either of us to stand up fully, so we hunch uncomfortably.

“Any luck?” Asking is pointless. If he’d found it, I’d already know.

“Not yet. The flashlights should help.” He shines his on the ground and something small scuttles away.

I scream and slam my head on a joist. “Ah! Shit. That’s going to leave a bruise.”

“Why don’t you just wait inside, babe? I can handle this,” Sidney offers.

“I should help. I’m the one who freaked out.”

We spend the next ten minutes scouring the space under the deck for my brand-new engagement ring that I haven’t even had a chance to wear yet. I hope this isn’t a sign.

The sun has almost completely set by this point and I’m thirty seconds away from hysterical tears, when Sidney shouts, “I found it! It’s here!”

“Yay! Thank God!” The tears of joy stream down my face. I just want to get out from under this deck where I’m sure a million eight-legged creatures and four-legged ones reside.

“Oh shit,” he mutters.

“Oh shit, what?” My heart sinks.

“It literally fell into a pile of shit. Fuck a duck.”

“I’ll grab a napkin.” I turn and rush toward the opening and slam my head a second time on a joist. “Ow! Fuck!”

“Babe, are you okay?” His flashlight swings my way.

“I’m fine. Just clumsy. Keep your eye on the ring. I’ll be right back.” I rush up the stairs, grab a napkin and rush back down, nearly falling again, but I manage not to slam my head against anything else. I hand Sidney the napkin and he retrieves my poop covered ring.

We head back up to the cottage.

After a thorough cleaning, we decide its best if we leave the ring to soak in some disinfectant. I have a bruise on my forehead and another significant bump on top of my head.

“That did not go the way I’d planned,” Sidney inspects the bump on my forehead.

“I don’t think either of us expected a spider the size of a bloated testicle to drop from the sky right in the middle of your proposal, or for the ring to land in the only pile of shit under the deck.”

“I feel like that was punishment for killing the spider.”

We both shudder.

“Maybe we should not talk about that. And also have a shower. And maybe some engagement-post-traumatic-event-distraction sex.”

“I think all of those things sound great.”

“And then we should drink that bottle of champagne, but I vote you go outside to get it.”

“I can do that. Shower first, though?”

“Absolutely.”

He links our fingers and tugs me down the hall. “At least we have an exciting story to tell at the wedding, right?”