Chapter Thirteen

HADLEY

Oh, God. No. No, no, no, no. I look at the pregnancy test results again. I cannot be freaking pregnant.

I am on the pill.

I’m also stupid because I’ve missed a day and have been having massive amounts of unprotected sex.

Melanie knocks on the bathroom stall door in my office building. “Had? What are the results?”

I called my cousin after I threw up again before my meeting with Cayden. I thought it could be nerves, but then it happened again just after I walked past an intern who was having a tuna sandwich.

After that I did some mental math and realized I’m two weeks late. I am never late.

“It’s wrong,” I tell her.

“Wrong because it’s negative?” The hope in her voice is cute.

I push the door open, tears running down my cheeks and I hand her the test. She doesn’t need to look at it to know what the results are though.

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re pregnant,” Melanie confirms what I already know.

“I am pregnant with Cayden’s baby.” I laugh because I’m already crying. “I mean, sure, why not? It’s like the worst possible scenario that could ever play out.”

“Not the worst, but…not the point.”

I wipe my cheeks and blow my nose. “What am I going to do?”

“What do you want to do?” Mel asks. “You have options…”

I don’t really. I mean, I do, but this isn’t just some random guy in a bar. Or a man who has ever disrespected me. It’s Cayden…the man I am stupidly in love with.

“I have to talk to him before I decide anything.”

She pulls me into her arms and I let her love and support surround me. “I know, right now, it doesn’t feel like it, but this will be okay. You are strong and smart. You have an amazing job.”

I sniff as the tears fall. “I am unmarried and we all know how the family feels about that.”

Melanie pulls back and purses her lips. “Yeah, but, screw them. They aren’t the pillars of perfect living. They love you, Hadley. They love all of us beyond the point of normal, but they care. I know we’re all off our rockers, but there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for each other. You know that.”

“I definitely do. God, my dad.”

Melanie tries to hold back her laugh, but it escapes anyway. “Now, Cayden may not have any options because he’s going to be dead.”

“I have to tell him.”

“Who? Your dad?” Mel asks, her eyes wide.

“No, not my dad. I mean, sure I’ll have to tell him too, but not now. Jesus, maybe once I’m actually giving birth you can call him and let him know.”

She laughs at that. “Yeah, so not going to do that. If anyone is telling him, we’ll make it be Bethanne. He’s less likely to kill her.”

I snort. “He’d put her in a convent for fear she’d be next.”

Mel smiles and then rubs my back. “You don’t have to tell Cayden right away. Give yourself a few days to come to terms with it. Figure out what you want first, then you guys can discuss it. Maybe see the doctor too. Confirm that what this test says is right. It could be a false positive.”

That sliver of hope hangs out there. Maybe she’s right.

“I’ll call today.”

“Good, and I love you and…we’ll be like two women and a baby. It’ll be fun. I’ll make them clothes and Auntie Mel will be the best.”

Yeah, I can’t even go there. Not now. Not until I know for sure.

* * * *

“I’m pregnant,” I say to my sister over the phone. This morning, I had my first appointment at my OBGYN and sure enough, I am with child .

Bethanne goes silent.

“Beth?”

“You are…pregnant?”

“Yup. And no one knows other than Mel. So please keep your mouth shut. I don’t want to tell anyone yet.”

I can imagine my sister’s face right now. “Are you happy?”

What a loaded question. It’s hard to explain what I am because it changes every damn minute. In thirty seconds I can go from one extreme to another. “I don’t know if I’d say that I’m happy, but I am not unhappy. If that makes any sense.”

“It does,” Beth says with understanding only a sister can have. “And you haven’t told anyone?”

“No. I don’t know when I will, but for now, I want to just keep this a secret. We just…don’t have secrets.”

Beth laughs. “Umm, other than the fact you’ve been banging someone and got pregnant.”

Yeah, that part I left out. “It’s complicated.”

“I’m sure it is. Does the father know?”

My sister knows about Cayden and for some reason, I’m not ready to tell her that it’s him. I want to tell him before I tell anyone else. He has a right to know he’s the father before my sister does.

“Not yet. I have to tell him. I just wanted to make sure with the doctor first.”

“Okay, I’m not going to ask who, because you seem reluctant to tell me, but…do you at least like the guy?”

I smile, thinking of Cayden. “I do. A lot.”

“Oh, thank God. I thought maybe you had a lapse in judgment and slept with that guy from college again.”

Yeah, that’s exactly what happened.

“I will probably wait to tell everyone until I’m home at Christmas. It’s better to get the whole family out of the way at once.”

Beth gasps. “You want me to keep this a secret for months ? Are you crazy? I have to go home for freaking Thanksgiving. I’m supposed to just lie to Mom? Is that even possible? That woman is like a human lie detector with us. Ugh! Hadley!”

I cringe because she’s right, I am asking her to lie to Mom, which is so damn hard to do. “Just…avoid answering. Pretend I never told you.”

“Right. I’ll do that.” Someone calls my sister’s name in the background and she sighs. “I have to go. We have practice in five minutes and you know I’m always late so they’ve sent a crew to collect me now.”

I smile. “Okay. I love you.”

“Love you too. I really do and I’ll keep your secret. You know that.”

“I do. The doctor warned things can happen in the beginning so it’s better we don’t say anything.”

“All right. I’ll call you in a few days,” Beth promises, which we both know she won’t.

“Okay.”

She hangs up and I lie back in my bed, wondering how I am going to tell the next and most important person—Cayden.