Chapter 3

May

Round four hundred and thirty-two of my dating experience.

I didn’t know the exact number of first dates I had been on, but that sounded about right.

Brian sat in front of me with a sweet smile as he spoke about his job. He was a pediatric nurse who worked long hours and loved children.

We had hit it off immediately, given our interests in the development and well-being of children. We smiled and laughed over our desire to enrich our lives and the lives of the children in our care.

We were careful not to talk directly about those under our wing, aware of privacy issues, but there were certain stories we could share. Anecdotes that let me know more about Brian.

His dark hair was swept back from his face, slightly graying at his temples. He had kind, bright blue eyes and a square jaw that looked strong.

He was gorgeous, his skin a light brown. He’d told me that he tanned easily whenever he was in the sun but that he hadn’t done much of the outdoor thing lately due to the demands of his job.

That might be a con on my list of pros and cons because dating would be difficult if we never had time to spend with each other, but he was also starting a new job soon that would cut back on his overtime hours.

“You’re okay with that? I don’t mean to pry.”

He smiled at me. He had such a great smile. And that spark? Oh. I felt it. Or maybe I was trying too hard. Either way, there was something here. Something that hadn’t been there on my previous dates. I’d really only felt something like this once before. But I wasn’t thinking about that. It had been adrenaline and confusion. Not a spark.

“I’m excited about this new phase. I loved the hospital, but it was hard for me to step away when I needed to. With the way they’re restructuring, it’s going to be great for the children, and now I’m able to work with this new practice. Yes, it’s still long hours, but not so many that I forget what my bedroom looks like—or not have time to actually show someone else.” His eyes widened, and he spluttered. “I did not mean to sound as creepy as I did just then. I’m so sorry. I’m not saying that I want you in my bedroom. Not that I don’t want you in my bedroom. But this is a first date. And now I’m rambling.”

I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “At least I’m not the only one who gets rambly and awkward on first dates.”

“That makes me feel a little better. I’m sorry I put you on the spot there. Back to the subject. I know this practice well, and I’m happy to start working with them. It also means more time for other people in my life.” He smiled as he said it, and something in me warmed.

That was another pro. He was kind and excited to have time for others. Yes, he seemed to put work first, but so did I. Finding the balance was key, and he looked to be trying. That was a plus.

“Anyway, how did you like the fish? I can’t believe they got grouper all the way out here.”

“I know, right? The best I ever had was near Clearwater, Florida. A friend took me to a place on a pier. I don’t remember how we got there or what it was called, but I had the best fish tacos there. And everyone kept pointing down, saying they just go out and pluck the things from the water.”

He smiled. “Considering the size of grouper, I don’t really know if that’s quite accurate.”

“That was exactly my worry. I remember one time when I was in the Atlanta aquarium—did you know you can go scuba diving in the big shark tank?”

His eyes went wide. “You went scuba diving in the big shark tank?”

I shook my head, laughing. “Not even close. I am certified, but considering we’re in a landlocked state, I don’t use it very often.”

“I’m certified, as well, though I don’t use it that often either, like you said.”

I smiled, thinking that a trip with friends could be fun. But that was far off. We hadn’t even made it to a second date. I needed to stop thinking so hard. “Anyway, my friend went into the tank and said the sharks weren’t hostile. They didn’t even bother them. But the guide said they had to be careful with the grouper and had a stick of some sort to keep them away from the divers. I don’t know if they bite or try to drown you. Either way, it always put me off it.”

“And now, here you are, eating grouper in Denver, Colorado because they got fresh fish overnighted.”

“Sounds a little bit like payback to me,” I whispered. “And now I feel terrible for even thinking that. I used to be fully vegetarian, but I eat meat on occasion now.”

“I tend to like a good steak. I don’t eat meat every day, though. That’s something I’ve changed over the past few years.”

“Same here. The family I work for is trying, as well. We have vegetarian family dinners. Sometimes even vegan.”

“So, you eat with them?”

I held back a wince, wondering how much to reveal. Not everybody understood what it meant to be a nanny. But he was a pediatric nurse. He should understand. “Sometimes. Though I work for this family solely because of the time commitment at the moment, we share the cooking duties depending on how late they work. It just makes sense for us to do that so nobody goes hungry.”

“And I know you teach a few classes, do training, and countless other things in the field. I read one of your papers.”

I blinked. “Seriously?”

Brian smiled softly. “I have. Which now makes me sound like a weird stalker.”

I shook my head, my mind going in a thousand different directions. This was the thing . That moment. The one that could lead to a second date because he wasn’t making me feel weird. Self-conscious. Or like there was nothing more between us than friendship.

We talked some more, shared a dessert because we were too full from dinner, and walked to the park, where old-fashioned light poles lit the walkway, and couples walked hand-in-hand.

“This has been a really great night,” he said after a minute, and my stomach filled with butterflies.

“I agree.”

We stood under one of the lamps, and he turned toward me, studying my face. Our hands were linked, and he looked down at them, then at me. He seemed to be waiting for something, as if he wanted an answer. Only I wasn’t sure what the question had been .

Then he lowered his lips to a breath above mine before cursing.

My stomach twisted, the butterflies escaping with an exhale. I leaned back, studying his face.

He cringed and took a step back.

Cringed ? Why would he do that?

I swallowed, pressing my hands together in front of me. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”

I didn’t think I had. Did my breath smell like grouper? Was that a thing?

Shame coated my tongue, and I ducked my head, my cheeks blazing red. He had nearly kissed me and cringed before stepping away.

He looked at me then, his arm outstretched as if he wanted to touch me but wouldn’t.

Couldn’t.

“I’m sorry. I’m doing this all wrong.”

I frowned. “Doing what all wrong? I thought tonight was going wonderfully, Brian. You didn’t take advantage of me or anything.”

“That’s good to know. But I can’t do this, May. This was a mistake.”

My heart shattered, though I knew that wasn’t quite right. Perhaps it was shame and horror that came instead. “What do you mean?”

“I’m in love with my ex. She looks a little bit like you, and I got my wires crossed. I’m sorry, May. I have to go.”

At that, he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving me standing under the light, wondering exactly what I had done in a past life to be cursed like this.

I looked around, grateful that everybody seemed to be focusing on their lives and not me.

Humiliation hit hard, and I just wanted to go home, duck under the covers, and give up.

My aunt had set me up on this date. She likely would’ve known about the ex—ex-wife, ex-girlfriend, ex-fiancée. She was a hunter when it came to information like that.

But she had missed the fact that he still loved her. I looked enough like her that he had leaned into the date either to get over her or because he had misread the situation and thought I was a replacement for her.

I didn’t know. What I did know was that I was tired. And alone in downtown Denver, though I was grateful we had driven separately. I looked around, clutching my purse tighter to me, feeling a little raw. I was only a block away from my favorite street in the city, the one with the original Montgomery Ink and a few other businesses owned by Leif’s family. I would go there, find something familiar, and then go home.

Alone.

My lot in life.

I crossed the street as soon as the light changed and kept going, ignoring the looks from a few drunk guys as they made their way from bar to bar.

One called out to me, and I kept moving, grateful I’d worn flats rather than heels tonight. That reminded me of my broken shoe at the park and the fact that Leo had fixed it with a paperclip of all things.

I would never forget the fear of not being able to find Luke when he ran off because he saw Leo.

His parents had given him a verbal lashing when we got home, even if it had been in soft tones with the lesson involved. But when I told them about the incident, they were just as scared as I was.

I was so grateful that Leo had been there and that it hadn’t been some strangers who could’ve plucked Luke out of the park without me seeing—all because I had been too slow with my broken shoe.

So, I was wearing flats now and walking into Taboo, a little café I adored.

It was late enough that the owner, Hailey, wasn’t working. She was probably home with her husband and kids, all of them enjoying their evening together. I liked the woman and everybody who worked here. Taboo was welcoming, homey, and part of the Montgomery family—like I felt I was slowly becoming.

“May?”

I looked at a familiar face and smiled at Daisy Knight. Though her last name wasn’t technically Montgomery, her stepmother was one. So, in my brain, she was Daisy Montgomery.

I smiled, went over to the other woman, and held out my arms. Daisy hugged me hard—so hard I knew she was probably dealing with issues of her own. In fact, I knew a few of those things, so I let her squeeze, knowing she likely needed to breathe just like I did.

“I didn’t know you were coming in tonight.”

I shrugged as I looked over at the other woman and shook my head. “I didn’t know I was either. Weird night.”

“Let me guess, bad date?” she asked.

“Of course. I don’t do regular dates. We know this. ”

“That’s silly. You’re a gorgeous, sweet, brilliant, and amazing person. Those guys are missing out.”

“If you say so. At this point, I think I stop at first dates.”

Daisy shook her head and gestured in front of her. “Here, take a seat. I was going to get myself another cupcake. Do you want one?”

I thought of my full dinner and the dessert I’d just shared, and my stomach felt like lead. “I could use a decaf latte.”

“That, I can do.”

“One red velvet cupcake, and a decaf latte, coming up,” Jay, the barista behind the counter, said as he waved to us before going to work.

“Got to love the service here,” Daisy said as she sat across from me, studying my face.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“It’s the same as usual. Bad date. So now I’m here, not eating my worries but drinking them. In the form of a latte. Not booze.”

“Well, if you want to head to the bar, I know a couple here owned by extended family members.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course, the Montgomerys own bars. Or at least friends of the Montgomerys. Why wouldn’t there be a type of business in every field out there run by your family?”

“We’re taking over the world, one slice at a time.”

“Is that on the business cards?”

“It was in the contract we signed when we started working for Montgomery Ink Legacy,” a familiar voice said as he walked toward our booth.

I stiffened ever so slightly, and Daisy gave me a weird look before grinning at Leo, Tristan, and Taryn.

“You’re here. I was hoping you’d make it in tonight.” She scooted farther into the booth as Taryn sat next to her. I moved as well, viscerally aware that Leo sat next to me. Tristan pulled up a chair at the end of the booth, and we all said our hellos. I did my best not to think about the fact that Leo’s arm was almost touching mine.

It was weird that I noticed that at all. I didn’t even know him, other than that he seemed nice and was talented, at least from what I could tell. He was also a friend of my friends. And, in a way, he had saved my favorite little boy’s life, even though he hadn’t really been in danger. Besides that, I didn’t know Leo.

Since he didn’t look at me with any interest and moved his arm swiftly, I figured he didn’t want to know more about me. That was fine. I was used to it.

“I’ll go get something to drink. Long day,” Tristan said as he got up without asking anybody for their order.

“I take it he knows what you want?” I asked, my lips twitching

“He thinks he does,” Taryn said with a laugh before she followed him.

That left Leo, who looked between us. “I didn’t know you two knew each other.”

“Denver is a small world,” Daisy said with a laugh.

“Truer words have never been spoken,” Leo agreed.

Did I detect a spark there? Or maybe I was simply seeing things because I wanted a spark of my own. I needed to stop worrying. My future would come. I was happy with my life. Just because I was going down this road thanks to a promise I had made on my father’s deathbed, that didn’t mean I had to worry about the outcome continually. Things would happen when they did. I had to stop focusing on the negative.

“You look pretty tonight, May,” Taryn said as she sat in the booth again.

She handed me my latte and Daisy her cupcake, and I nodded in thanks.

“So…were you out tonight, Daisy?” I asked, trying to fill the silence.

“I’m wearing sweats, but thank you for thinking this is my date attire.”

“You look hot in sweats,” I teased.

“Tell me more,” Tristan said with laughter, and Taryn smacked the back of his head.

“Weirdo.”

“Sorry. I can’t help it. I’m a guy.”

“You’ll notice I didn’t say anything like that,” Leo said primly.

“Because I said it first,” Tristan mumbled, and we all laughed, taking some sips of our drinks.

“But seriously, you do look nice,” Leo said, looking down at his drink.

I shrugged. “I had a date. Now, I don’t.”

“Do I have to knock some heads?” Taryn asked, and Tristan winked.

“We’re good at it,” Tristan put in.

“When have you had practice?” Leo asked before holding up his hand. “No, don’t incriminate me or put me into something after the fact.” He turned to me. “I’m sorry your date went bad.”

“Well, I thought it was going good. And then he said I reminded him of his ex and that he still loved her. Then he walked away and left me alone in the park.”

Leo’s gaze went dark. “He left you alone at night downtown? Okay, now we’re going to knock some heads.”

Everybody started grumbling, and I smiled, shaking my head. “Stop. I’m fine. He left me alone in a lighted section. I hope he’s happy.”

“You’re a better person than I am,” Taryn added.

“No, I’m just used to it.” At the questioning looks, I shrugged. “It’s nothing. Now look at me. I ended up with friends at a coffee shop in the evening with a great latte. It sounds like a pretty good way to wind down.”

Leo gave me a look before the conversation shifted to Daisy’s future plans. She growled at them and didn’t completely answer the questions, but I knew she would find her way eventually. She always did. She had her family and friends to back her up. While I sat with people who weren’t quite friends but could be one day, they were good people. And I wasn’t alone.

I had to remind myself that I had felt a spark earlier tonight, even if it hadn’t panned out. That meant I could find it again. I just had to keep looking.

Even if my mind had no idea what to do with that thought.