Chapter 22

“What are you saying, Rafe? I don’t understand.” Scarlet’s eyes were wide, bright blue against her pale skin. The sun at her back brought out the gold in her brown hair. They stood by the quiet roadside, wildflowers lining their path. Birds chirped somewhere in the distance oblivious to the people arguing in their midst.

“I can’t enlist.”

She shook her head in confusion, but he kept going. “I can’t because I don’t exist in your world. Not really. I’m not…”

“You’re not what?” She put her hands on her hips, her expression darkening. She thought he was a coward, that he was trying to get out of the war in Europe because he was scared of dying but that wasn’t it at all. If he went, it would be all too obvious what he was. Not to mention he had no papers to prove his existence.

He reached for her and pulled her close, his fingers digging into the flesh of her upper arms. Her chest heaved against his. He hadn’t known her for long, six months maybe. She was beautiful, petite and feisty. She’d let him kiss her behind the shop, let him run his hands over her waist and the curve of her breast. She looked at him like he was something other than the Alpha’s son. She talked to him because she wanted to, not because she feared his father. She didn’t know about any of that.

Rafe hadn’t wanted her to know any of it, but now she was looking at him like he was a draft dodger, like he wasn’t willing to lay down his life for her like her brothers were. And he couldn’t stand it. It was worse than claws down his back, worse than teeth at his throat. The look of contempt in her eyes was worse than any fight he’d ever been in.

“I’m not human,” he growled in her ear and she went rigid in his arms.

“Stop that. It’s not funny.” She put a hand on his chest and pushed.

They were far from town. He’d taken her on a walk hoping she’d let him do more than kiss her if they were away from prying eyes, but now she looked frantically at the empty fields around them.

He let her go.

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head, trying to right his thoughts. “But it’s true. There are things out there, Scarlet, things you don’t know about but they’re real.”

She squinted up at him in the bright sun of the afternoon. “And you’re one of those things?”

He nodded, his heart racing in his chest. Maybe she would understand. Maybe she would continue to look at him like he mattered even if she knew what he was.

“So what are you, Rafe?”

“I’m a wolf.”

“A wolf?”

“Sometimes. And sometimes human.” He wished he could be more human for her. All human. For the first time in his life, he wished he could shed the other half of him, ignore every instinct that urged him to run and kill, that whispered in his ear to be wild. He didn’t want it anymore.

Her perfectly arched eyebrows rose to her hairline. “Like a werewolf?”

He nodded, not daring to say anything else, not daring to move toward her. Scarlet’s gaze raked over his body, scanning him from head to toe. He never felt his size more. He knew what he looked like and it wasn’t good.

“Show me,” she said, her arms crossed over her chest.

This wouldn’t end well. Rafe knew it already, but he did as she asked, some ridiculous bit of hope still lingering, still holding on. Shifting wasn’t pretty. He ran from her so she wouldn’t see it up close, the rearranging of his bones and muscles, his face transforming from man to beast, the hair growing over his skin. He crossed the meadow, far enough to lessen the blow but close enough that she could still see him.

By the time he ran back to her in his wolf form, Scarlet was trembling from head to toe. She held up a hand to stop him from coming any closer. He sat on the edge of the road and watched her.

“I thought you were lying. You can’t be… It isn’t possible.” The words stuttered and tripped from her mouth, tumbling over each other to escape. Rafe watched as she processed what she saw and then shaped it into something new, something she could believe.

“What are you, some kind of magician? Where are you really, Rafe?” She raised her voice as though she thought Rafe was hiding somewhere. “Call off your dog!” She shook her head, backing away from him. Her eyes were wide, wild with fear. “You’re a monster.” The word sliced through him, the truth of it. “A … a … beast.”

He was. Of course, he was. And now she knew it.

“Don’t come around anymore,” she whispered before running down the road. He sat and watched her go. The one pure and good thing in his life disappeared from sight. Life with his father, with his brothers had become nearly unbearable. Every day a battle, every minute a test. He was exhausted and now he wouldn’t even have Scarlet’s smile to look forward to. No more sugar-sweet kisses in the sun.

Rafe had managed to scare off the one bright spot keeping his miserable existence worth living. She didn’t want him. Not the real him anyway. He should have seen that coming.

* * *

Movement caught his attention from the corner of his eye, pulling him from the painful memories.

Rafe pounced on the bunny and tore it to pieces just to have something to do. He was a monster after all.