5. Chapter Five

Watch Me - bludnymph

With Claire and Naomi's hands intertwined with mine, we lose ourselves to the beat of the bass. Around us, things one could only imagine unfold. People are fucking like no one is watching and the iron-rich scent of blood fills the air. I should be scared, or concerned, but I'm not. My body hums with the warmth of the liquor flowing through my veins and the base vibrates through my body as we let go of all our stress and worries. Because we deserve it. I deserve it.

I'll admit, I was surprised to see that Lux left his infamous throne. But even more shocked to find him next to me at the bar. The moment I turned around to find his eerie mask standing behind me sent a shock of excitement through me. He left his throne, for me.

I don't have to look up to know his eyes are still on me. Lux's gaze is heavy, and yet I find myself wanting it. Craving it. I want him to watch me in the crowds of people that have gathered here tonight. When we locked eyes, even for that brief moment, I felt something. I knew even before coming here that there was more to this masked ringleader than people thought, and in that moment, I learned my suspicions were right. There"s a darkness about him. One that should send people running, and I'm sure to most, it has that effect. But not me. I want to know more about the demons that lurk inside him. Tonight, it's them I desire.

The big top seems to be spinning around me. All my senses, heightened as my body sways to the music. Putting on a show of my own. Maybe it"s the liquor, but I sense his temptation from here. He's curious about me, the same way I'm curious about him. And as I dance with my friends, under his gaze, I feel heat building between my thighs. This burning need to be touched and satsified. Just his attention has me wet.

I want more. I want to play.

I find myself wanting to push the boundaries. To push his limits to see how far I can get. I've already gotten him to leave his infamous throne. What will it take for him to make a move on me? To bring him closer.

Finally lifting my eyes back to the bar, I find Lux perched against it. Beads of sweat glint in the dim light from the bulbs that drape around the big top as they drip down his tattooed and toned chest. His face is fully hidden behind the same mask from the videos I watched on the way over. And yet even with the mask hiding his reactions, I know he's enjoying watching me. It's like a silent game between us. It's exhilarating, and new. The hunger builds between my thighs at the thought of having such an effect on him.

Looking around the crowd, I find it mixed with cirkies and customers alike. I spot one of the clowns I saw when we were lining up, grinding against Kathlene, the receptionist from my dentist office. But it's when I watch him pull her thick blonde hair to the side and drag a small pocket knife across her shoulder that I freeze in place. As if sensing my watching eyes, his eyes meet mine through the foggy haze. Slowly and sensually he holds my stare while he flattens his tongue before running it through the fresh blood leaking from her cut as it trails down her tanned shoulder.

A lump forms in my throat and I swallow it down. Repulsed. That's what I should be, but instead, the more I see of this place…the more intrigued I find myself. The cirkie breaks our stare, and I snap out of the trance he seems to have had me under, only to find myself standing alone in a sea of people. Through the dim light, I scan the crowd but I don't see my friends anywhere.

Fuck.

How long have I been standing here?

My gaze makes its way back to the mysterious ring leader leaned against the bar. He hasn't moved. Not even an inch. His haunting eyes still fixated on me like I'm in the center of the ring at his circus. Rough hands grip my hips, pulling me backwards. Turning, I find myself face to face with the clown. His lips still sporting Kathlene's blood, mixing with the dried layers of thick face paint. A sinister smirk forms on his face as he pulls my back tight against his chest. His hold on me is firm. He smells heavily like cigarettes and whiskey. So strong it"s nauseating. Or maybe that"s the liquor. Digging his nails into my hips he grips me tighter, holding my ass firm against his hardened cock.

"Well well, what do we have here? Don't worry honey bunny. I'll show you a good time," he whispers harshly against my ear. "For the right price, of course." I turn my head to the side.

"Not interested," I reply, doing my best to break free of him. In my effort to free myself, and unable to see straight as the alcohol takes effect, I stumble. I nearly fall to the ground when a strong gloved hand wraps around my forearm, stopping me. Looking up, I find myself face to face with none other than the clown mask that's been haunting me all night.

"Sorry, Lux. I got this one," the clown behind me says with a husky tone.

Lux, releases his hold on my arm, but his eyes remain locked with mine as the clown pulls me back into him. Steading me on my shaky legs. A chill runs down my spine under the weight of his intense stare. But this time, his eyes are filled with something different. Behind the carnality I witnessed before, flickers anger. Jealousy. My pulse quickens with excitement and a smirk forms on my face. Spinning around in the clown's arms, I force my eyes from Lux's as I wrap my arms around the cirkies neck. Pushing all thoughts of how vile and disgusting this man is out of my head. I let my body flow to the beat of the music, and grind my hips against him. This is going to be fun.

His filthy hands roam. Tracing the curves of my body as his tongue glides across his chapped blood-stained lips. With eyes full of hunger he looks down on me like he"s starved and I'm his next meal. I do my best to ignore the cringey vibes he gives me, keeping in mind that behind me Lux is watching and he doesn't like what he sees. I can feel his agitated gaze trailing every inch of my body that his little cirkie touches. Good.

I wish I could explain why making a stranger jealous excites me. It's intoxicating, and now that this little game has started, I don't want it to end. I have an effect on him. On the man that has gone viral for being untouchable. People fear him, and he seems to like it. But what will he do if I don't show him the same fear as others?

Something brushes against my back. Looking over my shoulder I'm met with the painted face of the creepy clown I locked eyes with outside. He grinds against my back with a sly grin across his face, pinning me tightly between himself and the other cirkie. He grips my hip with one hand, and the back of my neck with the other as he forcefully pushes my face into the chest of his friend in front of me.

I turn my eyes back to Lux only to find him still watching me closely. His fists are clenched tightly at his sides. I can't help but smile as the ache between my thighs grows. I'm quickly learning to love this game. The euphoric feeling it gives me having him watching me. The clown keeps my head pinned down while slowly sliding his knee between my legs, spreading my feet apart. I squirm, keeping my eyes locked with Lux's. I came here to have a good time. To let loose. These cirkies, clearly want to help me let go. They want to show me a good time, and right now, every fibre of my alcohol induced body wants them to. Right here. While Lux watches.

Men, women and cirkies alike are all scattered around the dance floor of the tent, fucking. Sucking. Bleeding. Giving in to the temptations they've kept hidden from their lives. Taking part in things society would judge them for. No level of depravity is shamed here. Everyone is free to let go and fulfil their desires. To my left, I see a sectioned off area, where a large woman sits on a chair. Her webbed toes are being licked and sucked on by a man sitting in front of her, while an armless man kneels on the ground before him, sucking his cock into his mouth. The woman moans, and pinches her nipples. People crowd around, some just watching, others touching themselves to the show before them. No one is placing judgement. Instead, they're encouraging. Enjoying every minute of it.

Because here, in Cirque Du Désir, no desire, no craving is too dark or twisted.

Rough fingers brush against the soft skin of my inner thigh, as the cirkie behind me glides his hand across the hem of my denim skirt before pushing it up. His hand slowly trails a path towards the ache building between my thighs as we sway to the beat of the music. Closer and closer his touch gets, until his fingers hook on the thin damp fabric of my panties. Bending down, he brings his lips to the shell of my ear.

"Such a little slut you are. Good and wet for us already are you?" He snickers with hot breath as he pulls my panties to the side. My body trembles with need. A hunger so strong I'd gladly let any man here touch me, fuck me to make it stop. So long as Lux is watching. I wait for his rough touch on my sensitive skin. Seconds seem like hours, but it doesn't come. Just when he's about to run his thick calloused fingers right where I want them, he's pulled off me and thrown to the floor.

Gloved hands tightly grip my arm, and pull me roughly through the crowd.

"What the fuck!" I shout, clearly angry that someone is keeping me from a release I so badly want, and need. Eyes watch as Lux, drags me through the thick crowd of people toward the back of the tent. "Let go of me! What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"You need to leave. Now." His tone is harsh, deep, and full of frustration. He's angry. Really fucking angry, and for some reason his anger only feeds to the ache I feel. A smile forms on my face as he drags me to a small room off the back of the tent. He releases his hold, and begins to pace frantically with rapid shallow breaths.

Leaning against the canvas of the tent, I cross my arms over my chest, raising an eyebrow at him.

"I'm not leaving. Not until I get what I came for, Lux."