14. Chapter Fourteen

Wonderland - Neoni

As the cirkies pack the last of the boxes into the trucks and trailers, I decide to take a break. Sweat beads down my head as I pull out my pack of du Maurier"s. Its nearing late afternoon, we're running late. Normally we're packed up and out of town before noon. But after last night I think we're all a little out of it. It was easily the most profitable night we've had in months, maybe even years. A few minor slip ups, but since one ended up being that slut that shit-talked Indie, I won't complain. Besides, Johnny had her body dealt with before I even woke up this morning.

Sliding a cig from the pack, I place it between my tips, and turn my sights on the horizon as I spark it up. It's still odd being so exposed. Before lastnight I never walked around with out my mask. Never left my trailer with out it. But now that they've all seen my scars, whats the point. For the first time in nearly ten years, I can feel the wind as it blows across my face.

Thanks to Indie.

I can still smell her on me. Feel her touch. I know leaving today is going to fucking kill me. But I need to do it. Sure, my time with Indie was fun, but it still has to come to an end. Every show does.

The bright sun glints off the windows of the parked vehicles in the field next to the road. Squinting my eyes, they land on a car I don't reconize. Assuming it probably belongs to one of the slip ups currently buried six feet under, I make my way towards it. Kicking the dried earth up with my boots along the way. Taking a drag on my cigarette, I'm able to make out the silhouette of someone sitting in the driver seat.

Weird.

A woman sits in the front seat, and it doesn't take much to know she's been through it. Long dark hair hangs down her face, hiding it from view. If it weren't for her shaking hands on the steering wheel, I'd think she"s dead. Her hair, hands and clothing, are covered in dried blood.

I tap my knuckles on the window to gain her attention. But she doesn't flinch.

"Hello in there. Are you alright?" I ask, inhaling another drag of my cigarette. Suddenly her head whips towards me and her widened, shock filled eyes lift to mine.

Indie.

What the fuck.

I waste no time, ripping the car door open to reach her.

"Indie? What the fuck happened to you?" I ask. My voice does little to hide the panic I feel as I help lift her out of the car. Standing her up infront of me, I cup her face, and brush her hair free of the wound. My blood boils beneath my skin at the sight of her once perfect skin, mangled so brutally. I don't know who the fuck did it, but I do know the circus isn't leaving until they're body lies with Dolly's.

"My Da-da, " she stammers. Her petite body trembles as I pull her into my chest.

"It's okay. Just breathe, alright? Breathe. I've got you," I whisper, holding her close against my chest. I run my hand through her hair. Finally experiencing its softness on my scarred hands as I do my best to calm her. To people passing by, I'm calm, collected. But inside, chaos has broken out. My demons demand blood for the girl who stole not only my heart, but theirs as well.

"My Dad," she softly replies. Her voice less than a whisper as she lifts her head from my chest, and tilts her chin up to face me. "He did this to me. I fought him, Lux. I swear I did." She sobs.

"Shh. It's okay. You did what you could. This isn't your fault."

Advice I need to take myself. All those years I hated myself for what was done to me. For what I allowed to be done to me. I should've fought harder. I could've done more. Or so, that"s what I always thought. How I always felt. But truthfully, I couldn't have stopped it even if I wanted to, and I did. The man was always going to be bigger, stronger. No matter how hard I fought, the end result would've always been the same. Just like Indie's.

"I think I killed him," she admits with a shaky tone."What do you mean you think?"

Indie pulls away and begins fisting at her hair as she paces around her car. "I shouldn't have come here. Fuck. I'm sorry I just- I didn't know where else to go. I just knew I had to leave that house."

"Baby. Baby, listen." I whisper. I grab her wrist firmly in my hand, pulling her back into me. Cupping her face again, I force her eyes to mine. "You came to the right place. Okay? I'm going to take care of everything." And I will. "Tell me what happened."

"I shoved him. I pushed him off me and the glass-" her voice breaks and tears spill from her eyes. "He slipped on the glass and he hit his head. There was so much blood, Lux. So much blood."

"And you're sure he was dead?"

"Yes," she sobs. "His eyes…they were looking at me, but he wasn't there. He was gone, Lux. He was gone!" she breaks down. Her tears seeping into my shirt as I hold her close. Well, on the plus side the hard part is done. The fucker is already dead, lucky for him. All I have to do is send Johnny and a couple of the other cirkies over to clean up the mess. "I have to get out of here. They'll be looking for me, and I can't go to jail. I just can't."

"Shh. Don't worry about that. No one will know you did anything, I promise. I'll take care of it all."

"I'm a murderer, Lux. You need to get as far away from me as possible. I shouldn't have come here," she admits as she tries to push away from me.

"You and me both, baby." My words catch her off guard and she pauses, turning her puffy red eyes to mine. I shrug. "I'm a murderer, too."

"No. What happened with your mother-"

"I'm not talking about my mother." Her brow arches with confusion.

"I killed Dolly." The words slip from my lips without effort. I've never felt the need to hide anything from Indie, and killing Dolly, is no different. "She worked for me. Well fuck actually she basically organized most of the shows and shit that we do. She managed everything for me."

"Then why did you kill her?" she asks. I laugh, and my jaw clicks as a smile forms on my face.

"Well, lets just say, she didn't like watching me drag you away the other night," I reply. A pretty pink blush paints her unmarred cheek and her bloody cracked lips pull into a small smile.

"So you killed her, because she was jealous?" she ask coyly. Already part of her fire is returning, and it's fucking beautiful to see.

"Oh, that bitch was fuming with jealousy," I reply with a humorous tone. Her smile grows, but fades quickly as thoughts of her father return. She lowers her gaze to the ground.

"What do you mean when you say you'll take care of it?" she asks, kicking the tips of her ugg boots into the dirt.

"I mean that you have nothing to worry about. No one will know what happened. Not to him, not to you."

"But they'll find me eventually, and then what? I mean look at my face, Lux!" she shouts. Anger. The next stage of processing.

"No one will find you, Indie, because you're coming with me."

She laughs hysterically as she pushes off me and walks toward her car. "With you?"

"Yes, with me. Think about it. You're just as fucked up as me now, Indie. That pure and innocent girl from last night, she's gone. You have demons of your own now, and they play quite well with mine. Don't you think?" She takes a moment to think on my words. She knows I'm right. The safest place for her right now is with us. Especially since we're always moving. Makes it a lot harder to track a moving target, and well Cirque Du Désir never stays in one place more than a couple of nights.

I watch her as her brown eyes scan around the field. The cirkies are still loading up to leave but without the big top in the center, the field looks empty. Wind bellows across the wide open space, blowing about Indie's blood soaked hair. She wipes the tears from her unmarked cheek on her sleeve, and slowly makes her way toward me. Taking my hand in hers, she lifts her eyes to mine, and clears her throat.

"I forgot your jacket at the house" she admits. I laugh. This girl really thinks I give a damn about the jacket.

"So I'll get another. All that matters is you"

"So where are we going?" she asks softly. Grabbing her by the waist I pull her chest against mine.

Indie is really mine.

Mine.

"à la folie," I reply, beaming down at her. For the first time in my life, I allow myself to feel all these new emotions Indie brings me.

"Where the hell is that? I hope it's warm, I could use a beach day," she adds, wrapping her arms around my neck. A chuckle at her response. This girl's got a huge gash in her face and she's thinking about catching a fucking tan at the beach. If that doesn't say ‘made for me', I don't what does.

Fuck, I love this girl.

I press my lips softly against her forehead, and whisper.

"To insanity."

The End