12. Chapter Twelve

Music Box - NUVILICES

Pushing through the thick crowd of customers and cirkies, my cock still throbs for Indie. For more of her soft silky touch. She surprised me. Who knew someone so pure could be so fucking dirty. Sick even. Indie took everything I gave her like she was made for me and now I'm completely convinced that she was. Which is only going to make leaving that much harder. I never should've touched her. Branded her, but I couldn't fight this pull to make her mine any longer. Especially with her constantly teasing and defying my orders to stay away.

I knew it was either me, or the cirkies. Now that they have watched me claim her, and seen that beautiful burn mark on her perfect flesh. They can be n doubt she belongs to me. And if there is, I'll kill any of them who even think of trying to touch her.

The cool night air chills my sweat coated skin the moment we pass through the tent flap and head outside. Indie's tiny body in my arms is limp. Weak. If it wasn't for her hand tracing light circles on my chest I'd think she was dead.

"Where are you taking me?" She mutters softly as she lifts her head to look around us. I don't answer, there's no need as we reach my trailer and I carefully shove the squeaky screen door open with my shoulder before carrying her inside. The scent of bleach is still heavy in the air. Thanks to the mess Dolly made, I was forced to not only bleach the shit out of my floor and cupboards, but actually clean up the garbage scattered around the space. Her eyes scan the darkness of my trailer, unsure of where we are as I carry her through the small space toward the bathroom at the back.

I turn Indie toward the switch on the wall. "Turn the light on." Removing her hand from my chest, she flicks the switch, and the dim yellow light in the bathroom flickers. Slowly, I lower her to stand. "Hold on to the counter."

"I'm okay now, I think," she admits. Her feet hit the floor, and she grips the counter as I release her. She manages to hold herself up, though her legs are visibly shaking. My cock begins to harden again at just the thought of how good she took it for me. I fucked her so hard she can barely stand, nevermind walk.

Steam begins to fill the small room as I turn the shower on hot and close the curtain. Turning back to Indie, I bring myself to stand behind her. With our reflections in the mirror in front of us, our eyes meet. Slowly, I lift my hand and wrap it around her throat softly. She spins around to face me, quickly taking my gloved hand in hers. Her eyes lift to mine as she brings my hand to her lips, and pinches the tip of my gloved finger between her teeth and pulls. The glove begins to slide off, but instead of flinching, I allow it.

Placing the glove on the vanity counter beside her, she lifts my scarred hand to her lips and takes my fingers into her warm mouth. My cock twitches as I watch her suck on my scarred fingers. Her tongue swirls around them, and all I can think about is how badly I want to feel that fucking tongue on my cock again. But I can't. I pull my fingers from her hold, and slide my other hand free from its leather glove.

She puts on her best pouty face, and uncontrollably my lips pull into a smile. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up," I suggest as I begin to help her free of her dress. Indie's tight body easily slides out of the torn dress she wore tonight, and tumbles to the floor in a pool of fabric around her ankles.

"Lead the way then, sir," she replies with a flirtatious tone. Fuck she's trouble. Slowly, I remove my black trainers coat, and hang it on the hook next to the door. I unbutton my pants, and slide them to the floor with Indie's dress. Her eyes lower to my cock, which I know is already hard and craving more of her. But it won't happen.

She pulls her bottom lip into her mouth with her teeth, and for some reason I find myself wanting to kiss her. To taste her again on my lips. But instead, I take her small hand in mine, and lead her to the shower stall. The steaming water cascades down our bodies as we climb inside. With both of us in the tiny shower, there is little room to move around, forcing out bodies close together. The waters heat seems to instantly wash away the filth of the night. I stand behind Indie, allowing her full access to the stream of water.

A small hiss slips from Indie's lips. No doubt due to how raw and swollen her sensitive parts are after what I did to her tonight. What she wanted me to do. Grabbing the bar of soap, I lather my hands in thick suds before spreading them across her slick body.

"You don't have to hide your scars from me, you know. Not ever," she whispers. I pause briefly. Caught off guard by her statement. "What happened to you…to your mother. Was horrid. No child should ever have to experience the things you have, Lux. And well, I-I guess I just want you to know that I'm not afraid of you and I won't ever judge you for it," she admits with a soft tone.

"Ah, I see you've been doing some research."

"Not like that," she laughs. "I promise. I just, I needed to know more about you. I heard things…saw things being said online, and well. I wanted to know for myself." I know she's being honest, but I find myself confused as to how she knows about my mother or my history.

"I'm not as innocent as you think," I whisper, as I wash the remnants of the night from her skin. "My own mother knew that I was a monster. She insisted it. But no one ever believed her. All anyone else saw was this sweet, and innocent little boy who was unlucky when it came to the cards he was dealt. But she was right." I pause realizing I'm about to tell Indie everything. Everything I've never told a single person. Not even then, did I tell people the truth about that night. "The fire didn't start on its own. My mom's boyfriend used to carry this zippo lighter." I start off. The connection between us from my hands on her body seems to calm me. "I used to sit and watch as he'd flick it open, and closed. I thought it was an amazing trick, and it made him look so cool, so naturally being so young, I wanted to be cool too." Indie senses the shakiness to my voice at the mere mention of The Man, and turns to face me. She lifts her eyes to mine, and wraps her arms around my neck.

Lifting to her toes, she rubs her nose with mine, and places a gentle kiss on the scarred side of my jaw. A shudder rocks through me with the gentle touch of affection but as she lowers herself back down, I continue.

"One night, while they were passed out drunk, I took The Man's lighter. Somehow I'd thought if I could do the same cool tricks, maybe I'd be grown like him. Maybe that would make them be nicer to me. But the fire caught to the pillow on the couch, and it spread. It spread so fast and I didn't know what to do. So I did nothing. I ran to my room, and I hid under my bed."

"I don't think you're a monster, Lux," she replies. My head tilts to the side with curiosity.

"Then what is it you think I am, Indie?"

"I think you're lost. I think you were a little boy, in a shitty home, who made a mistake and got scared. Now, you"re a man, and you seem… lost. That"s all" she admits, before shrugging and turning away from me. I watch her as she grabs the bottle of shampoo from the shelf and flicks it open. Internally conflicted with her response. She's right. Not that I'll ever admit it outloud. I've been lost. Maybe that"s why the circus has always seemed like the place for me. Moving from town to town, never settling because nothing ever felt like home. I've never felt found, not until Indie.

As she lathers her hair, I rinse the soap from her smooth body. "You're the first person to ever accept me, Indie. To know the truth of my past, and still somehow see good in me." I admit. She laughs sweetly, after rinsing her hair in the stream of steamy water. She slowly takes the soap from my hand, and lathers her hands with it. I watch, as she runs her soap filled hands across my body, surprised to find I don't flinch away. She peppers soft kisses across my tattooed chest as she rinses me off and a lump forms in my throat.

I don't want to hide from her touch like I do everyone elses. No. I want more of it. She turns the shower off, and opens the curtain before taking my hand in hers and leading me out.

I follow her lead while I try to make sense of the new and overpowering emotions coursing through me. I want her, but it's more than that. It's a need to have her, to keep her, even though I know I can't. Tonight, she let go. She fed into the desires that lurk under her perfect skin, and while I found pleasure in them too, and branded her as mine. Even I know she still doesn't belong here, or with a guy like me, I still want her. She deserves so much better than anything I could ever give her though.

Grabbing the towels from the shelf, I hand one to her and we pat ourselves dry. I wrap the towel around my waist before carefully I pushing past her to the narrow hallway where I open the small closet door and pull out a pair of boxers and a clean black tee. Once she's dried, I help her into my boxers, and slide my tee over her head. I pick her torn dress up from the floor.

"Assuming you don't want this back, " I chuckle.

"Nope!" she adds with a pop, "Pretty sure that dress is a lost cause now."

"Was it worth it though?" I ask with a smirk.

Indie leans against the vanity and wraps her arms around my neck as she pulls me into her. "Worth every fucking second," she replies, dusting her lips across my jaw. I wrap my arms around her tiny waist.

The morning light peeks in through the small bathroom window, reminding me the night has come to an end.

"You should go." My breath is short and ragged as I release her from my hold.

"Go where?" she whispers, pressing kisses along my neck. "Here?" she adds as she makes her way down my shoulders and chest. "Or here?" I groan and cause her to pause. She lifts her eyes to mine, as a genuine smile forms on my face. "Still haven't learned, have you. Girls like you should know better than to play with chaos like mine."

"No, Lux. It's that boys like you need to learn to let your chaos free with girls like me. But right now, you're right. I should probably get back home and check on my dad."

"Is something wrong with him?"

"It's a long and boring story we can save for next time," she laughs, as she tucks her still wet hair behind her ear. Next time. Indie has no idea that after she walks out of this trailer, she'll never see me again. It hurts like hell that I know my absence will cause her pain. She'll feel betrayed, and I can't say I'll blame her.

I clear my throat. "Right." Placing my hand on the small of her back, I guide her back through the narrow hall to the kitchen, where just the night before, Dolly's life was taken at my hand. Not that you'd know it by looking at it. I was very careful when cleaning, not to miss a single speck of that bitches ketchup.

Reaching the door, we push it open allowing the cool morning draft to bellow it's way inside.

"Hold on," I shout, before quickly grabbing my trainer coat from the hook and wrapping it around her shoulders. "It's cold. Take this."

"Thanks," she whispers, Her eyes sparkle as they lift to mine and her cheeks flush. And with that she steps down into the morning air, and heads off through the parking lot.

Fuck. Why does watching her leave hurt so fucking much? What is it about her that has me so totally enthralled? The moment she looks back at me, and her eyes lock with mine. It hits me.

It's because she's different than everyone else.

She sees me, the real me and she accepts me regardless.

Indie Conners stared my demons in the eye and smiled. She fell for everything I hoped she'd fear, and now she has me feeling things a guy like me has no business feeling. Obsession, passion, hope, and something new and even more dangerous-love.